News broadcasts are a lot like comedy clubs these days. Not just because the stories are preposterous, but because there's a two-drink minimum just to get through them.
The stories above are true (except for the punchlines) and aren't even the best ones of the week. But complex stories just don't want to fit into those itty-bitty word balloons. One I would have liked to play with is that Hillary Clinton is increasingly hinting to the media that she would be available to run for president if there was a need. It's actually pretty funny to hear Hillary damn Joe Biden with very faint praise, saying things like he can probably get some more good things done if he can "keep his focus." Which is as tasty a wink-wink nudge-nudge reference to dementia as you'll find anywhere.
DeSantis also announced that he's running for president on Twitter, which has caused the Lefties to declare that Elon Musk is a racist, a satanist, and a Nazi and that Twitter has lost all credibility now that Musk has made it harder for the DNC to hire bots from China to skew Twitter polls.
Another story that I found very interesting (but admittedly know little about) is that the head of the "Oath Keepers" was just sentenced to 18 years in prison for his "seditious acts" relating to the January 6th holocaust in Washington. Even though the man, Stewart Rhodes, never entered the Capitol building, didn't use a weapon, and clearly didn't convince anyone to take over the government in an actual coup attempt. In striking contrast, this week some 19-year-old wannabee terrorist actually rented a U-Haul truck, deliberately crashed it into steel stanchions in front of the White House, then was arrested after he admitted that he was there to kidnap Joe Biden and/or Kamala Harris, kill them if necessary, and take over the government himself. The media instantly declared the kid to be a murderous white supremacist but had to backtrack when it turned out that he's some kind of foreigner from the Middle East (based on his name) and is neither white nor a citizen of our country. Still, that whole plan to commit murder for the purpose of taking over the government sounds pretty insurrection-y to me, so he's probably looking at 18 years in the pokey, right? Wrong. Once it was learned that he wasn't a white supremacist the Left just wanted the story to go away, so the kid has had his charges reduced to willfully damaging a steel post. That whole kidnapping and killing the president thing? No problem.
And speaking of posts, I've pretty much gotten to the end of this one. So I'll see you in the comments area!
I'd say the extreme Left is a sick joke, but that's far too easy.
Bill Clinton: "Take my wife...PLEASE! OH GODDAMMIT JUST GET RID OF HER, FOR SATAN'S SAKE!!!"
I'm a tad surprised that the White House gate-crasher didn't simply get ventilated. Either the palace guards need to up their game, or they knew Abu Ben Dover was coming in advance, and they were hoping for Reichstag 2.0...
I guess Ray Epps couldn't get an actual white supremacist to crash into the fence, so he had to go with whoever he could find...
Excellent jokes, Sir. If only most comedy was half as funny as yours, the world would be a bitter place, I mean, a better place...
killer comedy club routine! Bless you, Stilton.
Law and order in America,heading downhill at a rapid rate.Australia is no better.
OMG stop it; you're killing me. I CAN'T BREATHE.
On a bright note, as of yesterday George Floyd has been drug free for three years.
If Ray Epps had a son....he'd be driving a U-Haul.
The state of affairs in our beloved country is seriously depressing, but it really helps me to read Stilton's posts and all the comments. There is so much wit and spunk in this group. Elbarto, your comment almost killed me, literally. I choked on my coffee. LOL - that was hilarious.
“Don’t forget the waders” I see what you did there. Thanks for the chuckles!
Here in Indianapolis, the geniuses that run the Indianapolis Motor Speedway (IMS) decided that race fans are too white, and their solution is to give away free tickets to the Indy 500 race to minorities. So while everyone else has to pay 200-800 bucks to see the race, minorities get in “on the house “.
Good ones as usual, Stilton!
Interesting the U-Haul guy didn't get ventilated. It's almost as though he was hired by The White House to do what he did to take attention away from Joe's dementia for a bit. It's also interesting there is a Nazi flag spread neatly on the ground by the truck (photo op?). I saw that on Pookie's Toons.
Speaking of Pookie's Toons, Stilton's previous cartoon post was on there!
That's a knee slapper!
Guess I'll have to stop watching the Indy 500. Wait... I've never watched it in my 71 years. Never drank Butt Light either. Or bought anything from North Face. I guess I've been anti-woke all these years without even knowing it.
Meanwhile, here in NC, our dumbass governor is having a meltdown because our congress passed a school choice bill, and they have a veto proof majority. Never mind that the gov sent his kids to private schools rather than nasty old public schools.
Hillary... Would the Dems even go there again?
@Elbarto: I'm quite happy to be a straight man. Great catch. [grinning]
I haven't missed watching an Indy 500 race since they were using Offenhauser engines.I guess they only want um, er, minorities to watch from now on and I'm going to oblige them. So, for the first time, I will watch Clint Eastwood movies on Memorial Day.
I've got a friend who got sucked down the crazy Q-Anon conspiracy hole. One of their theories is that malevolent threat actors are working to destroy America by putting snake venom into the water supply to make us all crazy.
I'm starting to warm to that theory.
North Face Plant: What were they thinking? Oh, yeah. They weren't.
Racist Firing: Nice to see that there are still some lines that can't be crossed without career consequences in academia.
The Terrorist State that is Florida: The only terrorist state on the planet that people enthusiastically migrate to from those safe, Progressive blue states.
Candidate Hillary: The Clintons are political herpes. When the immune system of the body politic weakens, they inevitably re-appear.
The problem with herpes is that once you have it, there's no getting rid of it. The whole of the Democratic party enthusiastically got naked with Bill & Hillary in the '90s even after being warned that Clinton cold sores would be popping up all over the place. Now they're stuck with them.
DeSantis on Twitter: Now that Twitter is no longer defacto state media, it's understandable that Progressives would hate it.
Oath Keepers: Don't know enough to have a relevant opinion. But the U-Haul guy story was typical. Everything the left doesn't approve of is "white supremacy" now, and anyone who doesn't comply is a white supremacist. The left is wearing out the moniker just as they wore out "racist" to irrelevancy. And after jumping to narrative-compliant conclusions before the facts were known, the whole thing now gets flushed down the memory hole. They got the "white supremacist" headlines out of it, and that's all that matters.
Thank you Stilton. If you didn't keep me laughing, I'd have to cry, daily and deeply.
Bravo! (Can I still say that or is it cultural appropriation?) You are as sharp as ever! And that is very sharp!
I kicked tweet to the curb when they put me in time out. It was a simple goodby, a middle finger goodby.
I need to trick myself into extra motivation for renewing or forming new & better habits for improved fitness & readiness in older years. There is good progress on that. Among the tricks are: Plan another dive trip; Maintain firearms, handling & target practice; Continue cleaning up own affairs & property; and SUPPORT the things I appreciate. There's now enough Old Curmudgeon to not tolerate lies & excessive BS. And I vote.
Traitors, criminals, big jerks & crazy Wokers would best keep some distance & stay out of space. I will return the favor.
If they realized how many of us there are & getting fed up; smart ones would back off a lot.
I think the currently popular term for the others is FAFO.
On a bright note, as of yesterday George Floyd has been drug free for three years.
I snorted my morning bourbon. I'm stealing this one!
No kidding, that's a great line.
My "Puns-Low" light was flashing
Good stuff. I've been re-listening to Mort Sahl recently. I' would have loved to heard him take on the present administration.
Seriously? Are we going to have to put up with the Witch of Wannabe World Wuler again? While she may provide comic relief in the comedy show of election frenzy it's not really funny when her idiot supporters start worshipping at her bedraggled altar. I mean, Senile Joe, Horse-laugh Kamala and Nancy Puki and her cronies are bad enough. My mother and her dementia have better tantrums than she does.
On the nose, as usual, Stilton!
You are better than Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise on the comedy/tragedy that is today's America.
There's a theory that Shrillary would move the executive branch to a hollowed out volcano that includes a moat with sharks with lasers on their heads. Might be some merit to that. After all, she does have a Mini-me and a Number Two.
And to add to my cranky pants rant earlier, how do we know this is her or the double she supposedly uses? Could she have kicked the bucket or be in isolation for her craziness and her handlers finally ran the double? Just tell me I'm imagining things, OK?
Okay, here's another, and my personal vote for this:
Muddling through the holiday came across this on another blog and given the recent shrill, "alarm" about so-called white supremacy, thought that turnabout is indeed fair play.
@Fish: Which blog? Sounds like our kind of people. :)
Well Fish, I think that's gonna go in my definitely so-not-funny category.
@Mamafrog: Considering I fit both sides of the meme, I got a chuckle out of it. ;)
@ M M
Thanks! Really needed a good belly laugh this morning.
@ M M
Give the times we find ourselves in now, belly laughs, wherever they can be found help.
@mamafrong: Not supposed to be not so funny actually. More of a clarion warning of what might possibly happen should the 'woke' and the "progressives" prevail.
As others point out, you don't need Miles Mathis to reveal ALL the false flag events going down!
"Why? Dropped charges for ‘white supremacist’ who drove U-Haul into WH barricade raises eyebrows" https://www.bizpacreview.com/2023/05/25/why-dropped-charges-for-white-supremacist-who-drove-u-haul-into-wh-barricade-raises-eyebrows-1362263/
This one outed itself from the get go!
@Readers- Well, here I am again...days late in adding to the comments here. Although there's been plenty of interesting and engaging conversation happening without me! Nothing special has kept me from sitting down and writing other than my getting caught up in minutiae of various kinds.
I didn't watch any of the Indy 500, even though it used to be an important event in my youth in Indianapolis. That was the day we always held a big backyard party for family friends, with hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill, cold sodas and beer for the grown-ups, badminton and kickball, and the Indy 500 race itself playing on a large radio in the yard. Great times, those, and I miss them (and many of the people who were in attendance).
It sounds like the Republicans and Democrats are coming closer to a debt ceiling deal in which one of the core precepts will be that "base level spending" will be equal to the base being used at the height of the Covid emergency. So both sides agree that they can reluctantly economize by setting spending at insanely high levels. Which is why I don't find a dime's worth of difference between the parties.
Regarding the truck-driving faux white supremacist terrorist, I wonder if he was just supposed to hit the barricade and then escape but managed to knock himself silly (do U-Hauls have airbags?) and so White House security had no choice but to cuff him in front of witnesses and their smartphone cameras. Whatever the truth is, I'm pretty sure that you can't just ram the White House with a speeding truck, announce that it was your plan to kidnap and/or kill the president and vice-president, and then just walk away without real charges. This doesn't pass the smell test.
@Stilton--In other words, how to distract everyone from the absolute cock up of a mess Joe Biden's handlers are making of everything, and Kammy, can't forget the giggling hyena in second place. I hate to say it but I pray for the doddering old clown in first place because the thought of her running the country is absolutely terrifying. I honestly think my mom with dementia is more clearheaded than either of them. And that scares me too, lol. At least I've got her on kickapoo joy juice for now to control everything and save my sanity.
Speaking as one whose daily walking commute took him past the WH everyday, there is no way a truck or another vehicle could get by the initial barriers, which close off what was once Penn Ave (it does though make for a nice pedestrian mall). Second, Given what this Mensa candidate attempted to do and the very high level of armed security in the area, I am surprised this person lived to tell the tale ; and face charges.
If this were actually a planned "false flag" event, then somebody needs to turn in his dark ops card and go back to selling used cars. My thought is this was just another dingbat who sees monsters in the shadows wherever he looks, who has his own particular idea of how to fix all his problems.
One last thought for the folks at U-Haul: I don't think this is what you had in mind as a "one-way" rental. I sure hope he bought the extra insurance. BTW, will you bill him for filling the gas?
So true Murphy(AZ)--U-Haul just can't help themselves when it comes to "Any exposure is better than no exposure" (or however that goes,lol). I'm an Okie so U-Haul "crashing" can be a bit of a touchy subject.
@FlyBoy I have been self identifying as a black lesbian immigrant ever since I heard about Kalifornication giving out mega reparations. Free tickets for the Indy500. Count me in Massah!
Can ah gets me a ticket fo de Camptown Races?
There used to be a "Woodsterman" post here back in the day. Maybe the same person?
Concerning the debt ceiling BS, the Republicans (read Rinos) are acting like they won the friggin' Super Bowl, and the Dims are secretly celebrating while acting disappointed. There are a few real conservatives and uber-lefties opposing it, but we all know how this crappy movie ends because we've seen it before.
So this great achievement in government restraint sanctifies a government that is now 40% bigger than it was in 2019. Meanwhile, U-6 (aka the "participation rate") remains historically low.
So we will continue to have a government that is spending 40% more than it was 4 years ago, but fewer Americans than ever are working to pay for it.
They might as well call it the "Inflation Remuneration Act".
Post a Comment