Monday, October 30, 2023

Hollow Weenie

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, halloween, biden, israel, war, zombie, gopher
And there was a little something for Ukraine, too

In the interest of journalistic integrity, not that many other news sources find journalistic integrity interesting, I have to admit that this is a file photo of Biden from last Halloween. Because this year even Joe's PR team realizes that he needs to pretend to be more interested in world crises than using candy to lure potential child-sniffing victims.

Not that costumed kids will be missing out on much. Thanks to Bidenomics, nobody can really afford to be handing out candy except in those microscopic cubes oxymoronically called "fun-size" bites. Which may also explain why the White House is encouraging cash-strapped peons to buy "fun-size" houses, cars, and groceries while using only "fun-size" amounts of energy and medical services so as not to deplete their suddenly "fun-size" savings accounts and retirement portfolios.

Here at stately Jarlsberg Manor, I usually like to decorate my yard for Halloween with a bunch of inflatables, lights, sound effects, and a video projector or two. However, we've had rain for days and I haven't been able to set anything up yet. And there's more rain and the first freeze of the season in the forecast for North Texas. So I'm not sure if I'll be able to properly honor the holiday or if I'll be stuck with 300 teeny-tiny fun-size Milky Ways, Snickers, Twix bars, and M&Ms. 

Which my not-so-fun-size waistline definitely doesn't need. In any event, Happy Halloween to all!


To help fill out the page, here is one of my very first "Hope n' Change" cartoons from way back in 2009, before I knew what the webcomic would actually be. It seems Halloween-appropriate and I've taken the liberty of colorizing the black & white original because I could use that for an excuse to put off housework a bit longer.

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, gopher, zombie, halloween


Anonymous said...

The Strategic Petroleum Reserve is fun-size, too, which will come in handy when there's a fun-size war in the Middle East.

Bobo the Hobo said...

Legend has it if Biden stumbles we’ll have six more weeks of Bidenomics. Someone get that guy a wheelchair; we’re running out of money!

Johno said...

Stilt, “cast-strapped peons”? Biden does need cast-rating if he goes near any more little kiddies, but I’m assuming that you meant to say “cash-strapped”. Or did I miss a joke entirely?

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Johno: No, "cast-strapped". Our economy, morality and overall health are all crippled... ;)

TrickyRicky said...

When my last "real" job ended in late 2016, our financial advisor modeled that we should be OK in retirement. Meaning eating Alpo instead of generic dog food in our 80s. Thanks to the insane spending of the Washington behemoth, it's looking more like kibble....or the bugs they actually have planned for us.

Mad celt said...

Old Joe always got rocks when he rang doorbells until he forced an ordinance through that made it mandatory candy had to be equally given out.

Edam Wensleydale said...

I can think of several ghouls in the swamp who should be getting hemp rope and hot plumbum instead of candy...

Murphy(AZ) said...

Hey! I bought a couple of those bags of candy. They're already gone.

Colby Muenster said...

Looking forward to my fun-size Social Insecurity COLA in January. I'm sure most folks here know that it's 3.2%. I'm probably repeating myself here (the birth date on my license says I can do that), but I'd like to meet the people who "calculate" what the COLA should be and give them all a swift kick in the nuts (or chin, in Joe's case).


Six more weeks would be a Godsend! My crystal ball tells me he's gonna fall down a lot in the coming year+. I pray I live long enough to enjoy an economy like we had under Trump.


Man.... some Alpo sounds pretty good right about now. If you fry it and put it in between two leaves, you can almost convince your brain it's a meatloaf sandwich with lettuce.

rickn8or said...

@Bobo: We've been playing the game long enough to know most of the COLA will be eaten up by increased Medicare premiums and co-pays.

Greg said...

I got my twisted sense of humor from college, a tour in the military, and a career in the medical field. What's your excuse?

John the Econ said...

While middle class Americans are faced with cutting back to "fun size" groceries, the federal government today is so completely out of control, it's hard to imagine anything insane that is not being subsidized.

Here's something I'd approve of: Let's subsidize some drag shows in Gaza and see how that goes over.

Anonymous said...

Happy Halloween to you as well Mr. Jarlsberg. And to the other readers as well. Our weather is expected to be in the 50's with intermittent drizzle. Probably not a lot of Trick-Or-Treaters expected.

That cartoon of zombie rising from earth is funny ! I've never seen it before.

Shelly said...

@Colby Muenster, I hear you. I'm pretty sure my personal cost of living has gone up more than 3.2%. The raised Medicare premiums will cut into that even more. We are forced to use this program unless fabulously wealthy. Believe me, if I had a choice, Medicare would be the last one I would choose.

As far as Halloween goes, I expect it to be adversely affected by the current weather. I usually accompany my granddaughters in a nearby but much more affluent neighborhood than mine. This neighborhood (Deerfield) is known in Plano for its elaborate Halloween and especially Christmas decorations. It's a destination for many across the Metroplex and has horse-drawn carriage rides, hot cocoa and the like. Not sure I can handle the cold that long.

Rod said...

They more accurately the got the numbers right on that COLA but the decimal point wrong.
Waiting for these thieves to die off takes too long. Where are some lightning strikes?

FlyBoy said...

Ha!!! You’re all getting soft in your advanced years. Here in Indy, they’re predicting snow flurries for tomorrow night.

John the Econ said...

@Colby Muenster & @Shelly: You see, your COLA adjustment is based upon "core" inflation, which is everything besides "volatile" commodities such as food and energy. Because as a retiree, you really no longer have a need for food and energy, right?

Remember how before elections, the Democrats campaign on "Medicare for all"? (And then promptly forget about that right after they've won) Who in their right mind would choose Medicare as their preferred health care delivery paradigm? Wait, I'll answer that: People who don't have a clue as to what they're talking about.

I'm debating what I'm going to be dressed as for when the trick-or-treaters show up this evening: Hunter Biden or college Hamas supporter.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- I think the Strategic Petroleum Reserve should be renamed the Deliberate Reduction In Petroleum (DRIP).

@Bobo the Hobo- I'm still surprised that they haven't come up with a way to winch Biden in and out of Air Force One so he isn't always tripping on the stairs.

@Johno- Bless you for even considering the possibility that my typo was a cleverly disguised joke. But no, I meant "cash-strapped." Thanks for catching that!

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Thanks for cleaning up my mess!

@TrickyRicky- My financial planning model has likewise crashed and burned this year. I don't think traditional economics is even a thing anymore - just market manipulation by (and for) the powerbrokers.

@Mad celt- I don't think young Joe resented the rocks he got on Halloween as much as the accuracy with which they were thrown at his head.

@Edam Wensleydale- I guess what constitutes a "trick" or a "treat" depends on one's perspective.

@Murphy(AZ)- It looks like the weather today (Halloween) may allow trick-or-treaters to save me from myself and take away some of my overabundance of candy. I hope so, anyway! (And yes, I'm currently having coffee and microscopic Twix bars for breakfast).

@Colby Muenster- Thanks to inflation, seniors are finding whiskey and COLA to be an even better combination that it used to be. Also, in your faux meatloaf sandwich, if you can't afford lettuce leaves use dollar bills. It's cheaper.

@rickn8or- Yep. That money will be headed straight back to the government.

@Greg- My twisted humor comes from genetics (specifically my Dad) as well as from my being a student of Life. I don't know how anyone can pay attention and NOT have either a twisted sense of humor or a complete breakdown.

@John the Econ- How in the name of Jiminy Cricket are we making the world a better place by spreading drag shows around the world with our tax money?! Although I like your idea for trying it in certain parts of the world; it could be instructive for all involved.

@Anonymous- The weather has turned sunny (but chilly) for Halloween, and yesterday I succeeded in decorating my yard with inflatables so that when kids look down our darkened street they'll see that at least one old guy is still trying to keep the tradition alive. And I'm glad you liked the zombie cartoon - I was just teaching myself how to use the comic software and having fun. I didn't really know that the webcomic would end up being political at that point.

@Shelly- So far, my experience with Medicare has been pretty good. I always thought that a really major illness would bankrupt my family, but Medicare really paid for about everything when the sh*t hit our fan.

And I'm about 5 minutes (or less) from that Deerfield neighborhood - although a LOT farther away economically (grin). They do indeed decorate magnificently - but with temperatures in the 40's this evening, it's going to be pretty nippy.

@Rod- I like the way you think. How can we convince these a**holes that lightning rod beanies are stylish?

@FlyBoy- Which is why THIS boy from Indy is now in Texas!

@John the Econ- It's infuriating to see the transparency with which the government excludes vital items that have skyrocketed in price from their inflation calculations. Plus, they have other dodges such as substituting inferior quality products (hot dogs instead of steak) to show that prices haven't effectively risen. Lies and more damn lies.

And while my experience with Medicare has been positive, "Medicare for all" would kill it for everyone. It's going broke already - making it universal would kill it off permanently (or more accurately, it would make the quality and availability of care so low as to be unrecognizable).

John the Econ said...

@Stilton, what gets me is that the very same people who scream "cultural imperialism" and such are totally cool with American Progressivism spreading sexual perversion across the globe to places that already have enough problems to deal with.

"Core" inflation vs everything else: I've always argued that it's a shame that I don't get paid in "core" and "non-core" dollars. The upside to this is that nobody buys it since the reality is in their face. Democrat apologists can scream all day that inflation is down, but that can't compete with what consumers face every time they stand and watch the "total sale" display on the gas pump race higher and higher.

My first real exposure to Medicare was 20 years ago helping my parents on board. That was an eye-opener; a table of college-educated people struggling to figure out the right options, because choosing the wrong option has life-remaining consequences. I couldn't help but sympathize with less-sophisticated people facing this and ultimately settling for what someone on TV or a phone line suggested.

My point is that when people clamor for "Medicare for All", they're imagining some sort of wonderful system where there's no decisions to be made and no paperwork at all; they just walk into a hospital or doctors office, their problems addressed, and they walk out like they imagine it being in Europe. Medicare is not like that at all. (In fact, upon retirement expect to spend at least $200,000 on your own health care from that point forward) What they are actually imagining is Medicaid, which nobody really wants because the choices and service is third-rate.

Rod said...

OK it's time change day and my cell does not match many of the other change shit that may or may not be correct now. PC time changed. TV time changed. Cell phone time did not. I've not checked the vehicles yet. I'm not even going to look at the damned clock on the oven; AND I control my clocks & watches when I'm good & ready

Let's hear from you Stilt. That's always fun. LOL !

JustaJeepGuy said...

We all know that @Stilt will be almost adjusted to the time change by about the end of February.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Personally, I still have half-a-dozen clocks to reset, still...