Black Friday

Giving credit where credit is due.

No politics or editorializing today - just continuing good wishes for all who are enjoying leftovers and a salute to those of you who are hitting the stores today in search of crazy deals.

Mind you, we think fighting the crowds is borderline insane - but it's good for the economy, so more power to you! And now that we reflect on it, a $300 big screen TV would look good here in the office and it would be a business deduction. Hmm...

A Touching Holiday

With Thanksgiving preparations moving ahead at full speed, we originally intended to post this cartoon, wish you well, then run back out to the store. But...

Then we saw a piece of "journalism" so rank, so appalling, so ridiculously offensive that we have to comment on it...

Because that would be wrong. That's for sure. -Richard M. Nixon

Perhaps in the familial spirit of Thanksgiving, Newsweek just added tens of millions of American voters to the Manson family. In essence, they're saying if you're among the many who fell under Donald Trump's hypnotically lunatic influence, you'd probably be perfectly happy going on a murder spree if told to by the President (who, it's hinted, uses his comb over to hide a swastika on his forehead).

Seriously, we've seen some awful journalism in recent years, but linking Charles Manson and Donald Trump really deserves some sort of special recognition - and we don't mean the high-fives and free drinks the writer no doubt received after coming up with that godawful title.

But for now, let's get the bad taste of this story out of our mouths and replace it with whatever savory goodness awaits us on Thanksgiving Day.

And remember, if asked what you're thankful for this year, raise your glass high and say, "Not having Hillary as president!" 

It will either get an appreciative laugh or guarantee that the rest of your Thanksgiving won't be boring.

Tusk, Tusk

Fans of Dumbo (and who isn't?) went into panic mode last week when it was suggested that President Trump was going to lift the ban on the importation of trophy items made from elephants.

Although the change in policy was recommended by the Fish and Wildlife Service, who apparently spend a lot of time and taxpayer money thinking about elephants in other countries because domestic fish are so freaking boring, Trump unexpectedly reversed course after a hugely negative public outcry. He is now postponing a final decision until he's had further opportunity to talk to himself about it.

Frankly, we're hoping that the ban remains in place because elephants are among the most awesome and intelligent animals on Earth, and they don't deserve to be chainsawed into pieces so that people can have elephant tusk bluetooth speakers, taxidermied heads with showerheads in their trunks, or elephant ear sandwiches. The last coming as a special blow to the industries which were gearing up to make the big buns.

And it should go without saying that we don't support the importation of baby elephant trunks for transgendered women who wish to become men, no matter how funny the resulting "sticky bun up the ass" jokes would be.

Lifting the ban was thought to be acceptable because the trophies would come from animals who were being culled scientifically, with money from hunting licenses going to support elephant conservation. That's fine - but once the door has been opened, the problem is how to then keep trophies from illegal poachers from flooding the market as elephant populations are decimated for crap like this...

We can appreciate the fact that there is a robust market for oddities and curios from other lands, but we'd rather the ban stay in place for any and every animal that belongs to a diminishing population.

That being said, we think the time is ripe for Trump to lift the ban on the importation of a certain type of exotic trophy which comes from largely useless creatures who, for better or worse, are in no danger of extinction.

We're talking, of course, about shrunken heads.

Just in time for Black Friday sales!