Thanksgiven

It's all about momentum. And stretch waistbands.

Thanksgiving has passed, but the residual effects of too much food and the rigors of social engagement (however pleasant) are still weighing on us today in the form of a dazed torpor. More so, even, than most Mondays.

Our family holiday was filled with delights, even though the newly remodeled house lacks tables, chairs, proper beds, and window coverings of any kind. Daughter Jarlsberg and her wonder dog "Ladybug" made the long haul from Oklahoma to be at the parental home, and joy was unconfined.

We got to show her all of the changes to the house, which she could appreciate without having to endure the torturous sausage-grinding work it took to get it done. She brought youth and cheer into our home, and her dog brought about 4 times the usual amount of poop in our backyard.

Besides visiting, a lot of time was spent binge-watching stacked episodes of "COPS" every evening. In a world where neither the news nor Hollywood believes in stories in which the good guys triumph over the bad guys, it remains endlessly refreshing to see morons trying (and failing) to outrun taser probes. It's sort of like a modern day version of Aesop's Fables, in which all of the morality stories are played out by angry nitwits instead of animals. And darn it, that's wholesome family entertainment!

Our actual Thanksgiving repast was held at the family home of Mrs. J's brother and his wife, where we enjoyed wonderful (and too much) food and fun conversation with everyone. At least, we did until we had to take a semi-early leave owing to having left two dogs inside our house who had already shown enthusiasm about seeing which could poop the most every day.

Daughter Jarlsberg is now safely back at her home, and we're kicking off the new week by soliciting bids from plantation shutter salespeople and interior design consultants, as well as catching up on chores which got away from us over the past few days.

At least one of which required us to place an order to Amazon.com for a "nipple extractor," which is something we didn't know existed until we desperately needed it. It's actually for a pretty dull purpose, but we're guessing just having it on our Amazon records will prevent us from ever attaining high public office.

Black Friday

Giving credit where credit is due.

No politics or editorializing today - just continuing good wishes for all who are enjoying leftovers and a salute to those of you who are hitting the stores today in search of crazy deals.

Mind you, we think fighting the crowds is borderline insane - but it's good for the economy, so more power to you! And now that we reflect on it, a $300 big screen TV would look good here in the office and it would be a business deduction. Hmm...

A Touching Holiday

With Thanksgiving preparations moving ahead at full speed, we originally intended to post this cartoon, wish you well, then run back out to the store. But...

Then we saw a piece of "journalism" so rank, so appalling, so ridiculously offensive that we have to comment on it...

Because that would be wrong. That's for sure. -Richard M. Nixon

Perhaps in the familial spirit of Thanksgiving, Newsweek just added tens of millions of American voters to the Manson family. In essence, they're saying if you're among the many who fell under Donald Trump's hypnotically lunatic influence, you'd probably be perfectly happy going on a murder spree if told to by the President (who, it's hinted, uses his comb over to hide a swastika on his forehead).

Seriously, we've seen some awful journalism in recent years, but linking Charles Manson and Donald Trump really deserves some sort of special recognition - and we don't mean the high-fives and free drinks the writer no doubt received after coming up with that godawful title.

But for now, let's get the bad taste of this story out of our mouths and replace it with whatever savory goodness awaits us on Thanksgiving Day.

And remember, if asked what you're thankful for this year, raise your glass high and say, "Not having Hillary as president!" 

It will either get an appreciative laugh or guarantee that the rest of your Thanksgiving won't be boring.