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| Sadly, Trump also didn't instigate a nuclear war. |
When alleged journalists lose their minds about Donald Trump and start screaming and foaming at the mouth, STFUman would suddenly appear with his trusty whiffle bat and thonk, thonk, thonk the hysterical newsperson on the noggin until either sanity or blissful unconsciousness was reached.
He would then dart away in a flash, remove his mask, cover his spandex uniform with street clothes, and slip the whiffle bat into his pant leg to make his escape unnoticed. Except for a really lopsided walk.
If he were available, STFUman would have had his hands full over the last couple of days as everyone on the Left and many on the Right lost their ever-loving minds over President Trump's press conference remarks following his one-on-one meeting with Vladimir Putin.
In a nutshell, and we've never used that phrase more appropriately, Donald Trump didn't turn to Putin during the press conference and call him a dirty, lying bastard who overthrew the 2016 Presidential election. Rather, Trump said that our intelligence services (which have been demonstrably dripping with anti-Trump corruption) have claimed there was Russian meddling, while Putin told him behind closed doors that there wasn't Russian meddling.
Trump then had the apparently treasonous gall to suggest that we try to solve this impasse by looking at actual physical evidence, like the allegedly-hacked DNC computer server which neither the FBI nor any other law enforcement agency has ever even looked at.
This entirely reasonable suggestion basically opened the gates of fake news hell. Subsequent stories declared Trump to be a traitor and tool of Putin, and his press conference appearance was likened to Kristallnacht, the Cuban Missile Crisis, 9/11, and the attack on Pearl Harbor. One congressman even tweeted that it was time for the US military to step up to the plate, presumably to stage a coups d'etat to preserve democracy. Because nothing says "freedom" to Leftists quite like martial law and government at gunpoint.
Lost in all of this cacophony is any discussion of what Trump might have actually said to Putin behind closed doors before presenting a pleasant face for the press. For all we know, Trump told Putin that he'd rip the weasel-faced dictator's leg off and beat him senseless with it if there was even suspicion of Russian meddling in the future.
Trump has since offered a predictably confusing "clarification" of his press conference remarks, which strikes us as unnecessary considering that few outlets were reporting on what he actually said versus what they feverishly fantasized.
Frankly, we think this whole media uproar is another exercise in willful lunacy which is far more damaging to our nation than anything Russia could possibly do. We'd say even more, but we've got a lot of sit-ups to do if we're going to fit into that spandex uniform.
37 comments:
Chuck "Mammoth Cave" Schumer is demanding...DEMANDING! that Trump turn over any notes taken during his meeting with Putin. I suggest we post Chucky at the men's room door at their next meeting so he can see if Trump washed his hands every time!
I think the left and their lapdogs in the media were so totally convinced that the Meuller probe would turn up some dirt on Trump that they never even considered the possibility that there was none to be found. Instead, they likely already had headlines printed proclaiming the President's guilt, much like the "Dewey Wins!" gaffe of the past.
Now that reality is starting to set in, they have gone into a phase of psychotic denial which requires grasping at anything imaginable to continue their "Trump Loses!" fantasy.
I mean, whatever are they going to do with all those party hats and marching bands they ordered?
Doc sometimes your work is so good ...there is nothing left to say .....
@Geoff -- regarding dirt on Trump. You'd think that after being in business in NYC for, what, going on 50 years, all the dirt that was to be known regarding President Trump would've been known by now. That's not counting his overseas investments and properties.
Just like the press and other authorities knew all the dirt on Kennedy (pick any of them) and Johnson, and probably Obama as well. But the stuff on Kennedy (again, pick one) and Johnson didn't come out until decades later.
Oh -- as an aside regarding the NATO conference and stuff about Germany's buying natural gas from Russia -- Would fracking help in Europe? Maybe in Poland, Czech Republic, Romania? Haven't looked at maps, but the thought just struck me.
Great post. I'd love to hear more about the on-going adventures of STFUman.
Hey Stilton, we your readers want to see an artfully rendered preview of STFU Man in his form-fitting Spandex costume and cape. So how about it? Hillary has a spare server sitting unused somewhere, if you're worried about too many site visitors after the word gets out among female web surfers!
You could be even more of a trendsetter for snarky bloggers, start a new genre. Gee, I'd like to see Webmistress Tamara from View From The Porch in a Spandex outfit!!
It'd be a major effort to conceal carry, but you superhero types may not even need to carry a gun. That said, I'd still like to know how you're gonna pack heat?
You hit a home run with this one Stilton!
STFU Man is now my only super hero, I hope he's up to the task.
Like Roger said, "STFUman is my new superhero. Behind Chesty and 'Mad Dog' Mattis that is. But the big question here is "Shall I start learning to speak Russian now?" After all, the nooze media has been speaking NewSpeak for years......... Ahhhhh, thank goodness for aged moonshine. I have been ageing it since Sunday.
Perhaps we can also call upon “El Kabong,” the vigilante alter-ego of Quick Draw McGraw who would swoop down on a rope, shout “OLÉ!”and smash acoustic guitars over the heads of his foes. However since the Obama Administration declared war on Gibson Guitars, he might have to use frying pans instead.
Stilt, STFUman... I LOVE it. It's about time we had a superhero that provides exactly what is needed today for OUR comfort. I mean, liberals have had Hitler to compare our leaders to, Marx to provide economic framework, Mao to give population control guidelines... STFUman can finally provide the silence we so desperately require.
One thing, though... in his contemporaneous "alter-ego" persona, does he wear contacts instead of horned-rim glasses?
STFUman! Funniest thing I've heard since Studebaker Hauk fell off of Billy the Mountain!
I watched most of that press conference and thought it was boring. Did the media really think either of them would be telling more than what they wanted known? The TDS is in full force today over nothing.
STFUman....a hero we all need to save us from the deranged media.
I watched this entire news conference from Helsinki . . . start to finish. I voted for Trump and I continue to be a Trump supporter. However, Trump, the "negotiator", had his ass handed to him on a silver platter by Putin at this news conference. It was very clear that Trump sided with Putin on the few major issues that came up for discussion. One has to wonder what Putin has on Trump . . or is Trump just plain stupid? We are living in perilous times.
Who would you trust more - Putin or the Democrats?
I'll take a STFUman t-shirt when they come out!
Best analysis ever.
The STFUman era has arrived!!
@ Rabbi Manny: Have you ever heard of diplomacy? As Trump is definitely NOT stupid, one has to wonder what was REALLY said behind closed doors.
Help me out with pronunciation for STFUman, Stilt. I've been pronouncing it "Stuff you, man?" Is that close?
The President is not stupid. He knows exactly what he is doing. We will never know what was said between him and Putin but I will guarantee "I can be more flexible after the election" was not uttered by the President. He knows exactly how to make deals in his favor.
How come obummer received a Peace prize within months in '08 on the presumption that he will create peace, but President Trump talked to, negotiated with a tyrannical rocket boy, who was exploding war heads every couple days and has now stopped and hasnt threatened to wipe SoKo & the U.S. off the planet. Trump actually DID something, the anointed one didnt.
Listening (because the local news was just falling over themselves to show 5 min) of obummers speech in S. Africa, he brags how much money he has, one can only have so big a house, so much food, etc and there is still so much left over. He would rather give that to children who need it via higher taxes. Why do democrats do that? "I would LOVE to give more via taxes, but alas, I cant." Write a check! I am pretty sure not a single organization that helps children in need would turn away a million dollar check. How about writing a check to help your precious Chicago schools? They are desperate for help. Any one of the groups that feed the kids in the Summer will take money. But no. Hes TAKING a million dollar check from oprah to build his multi, multi, multi million dollar ugly library. Two faced liar. That library should be getting built in Hawai'i or better yet, Kenya.
All the democrats are scared schiffless from what Putin told President Trump in a one on one, no cameras, no recordings. I think that is why he had such a somber look approaching the podium. It was like he was told something so unbelievable he was completely taken aback. At that level, no one speaks ill without proof and I suspect Putin showed President Trump the proof. What it was? I have no idea but I suspect it was a game changer. (I suspect it had to do with former CIA director Brennan since he is squealing the loudest and so far no denial of the intelligence folks helping Browder)
Then, too, it did not matter what happened in Finland as MSM, Ds and Rs were going to pile on. I have come to the conclusion that impeachment is impossible so they are trying to get his mind warped. We are lucky he is such a tough old bird. All he has done is good for this nation yet both sides are plummeting him. Solid proof of the deep state and he has shut down the graft to a large extent.
STFUman reminds me of a coping mechanism I developed in college when people would talk endlessly about stupid stuff. I imagine hitting them repeatedly over the head with a giant, cartoon-sized skillet. It actually was surprisingly helpful. The weird kid in my Hindi class who would argue with my INDIAN professor who GREW UP IN INDIA about how Hindi works would have been dead by the end of the semester if STFU skillet existed in real life
Oh! Oh! I volunteer for the role of STFUman's faithful sidekick: BeatSomeSenseIntoThemboy. After STFUman is done with his wiffle bat, I'll wield the brickbat of common sense and lay it upside their heads. Repeatedly, if necessary.
Good point, as always. I think that STFUman should take a comic form and be a regular in the strip. When the Trump era runs its course, you could match him up with Lefty Lucy and sell them as a rom-com spinoff to network television. Or Netflix.
As for the "willful lunacy": For one thing, it helped bury Trump's snarky comments about the Russian's copy of Hillary's disappeared server. But you're right; it really doesn't matter what Trump does. It will be wrong. Had Trump taken a superficially aggressive stance, the narrative would have been "He's starting a war!". Trump is still the only Republican that gets that, which actually gives him a remarkable amount of freedom.
STFUman... HARF!!! I'll jump on the "let's see a graphic" bandwagon.
Trump should have studied his Obama Foreign Policy Protocol book before this meeting. Section 3, paragraph 4.1.5 specifically states, "When meeting a foreign leader of any country that suppresses its citizen's human rights, you must bow and kiss their ring. It is also advised that you offer more flexibility (wink wink nudge nudge) after your next coronation."
If Putin's aim was to cause dissension in America, the rapid left-wing press is playing right into his hands. This episode has been the most egregious yet and that's on top of a long string of excesses when it comes to Trump. My fervent hope is that it is creating new Trump voters each and every episode. Already the millennials are waking up and #Walking Away.
Wiffle ball bat? How about a REAL Louisville slugger manned by Big AL himself!
@Mike aka Proof- I heard Rush say that the Democrats want to haul in Trump's translator and force him to reveal what was talked about. I'm assuming that in this case, they'd be willing to use waterboarding.
@Geoff King- They've absolutely convinced themselves that Trump is guilty of multiple crimes, and all they need to find is evidence. And, oh yeah, crimes. But they'll never stop with the witch hunt.
@REM1875- I'll take that as a compliment. Thanks!
@Dan- I agree that any real dirt on Trump would have come out ages ago. I don't think the Dems can believe anyone in power can't have horrible secrets hidden (certainly THEY all have them). And interesting idea about fracking in Europe. I can't imagine Vlad would be happy about our offering technical assistance.
@zeno- You know, I'm thinking I might like to hear more about STFUman myself...
@Johno- I think "packing heat" would be overkill (literally) for STFUman. The idea isn't to silence people permanently, but just give them a good bopping to help guide them back to rational thought. Granted, some will need more bopping than others.
@Roger Myers- I'm starting to think we haven't seen the last of STFU Man. Granted, we haven't seen the first of him yet, either...
@Fred Ciampi- If the news media is to be believed (spoiler alert: they aren't) we SHOULD all be learning Russian now to please our new masters. Unless the Dems take over in November, meaning we should all go back to learning Spanish.
@Cat Whisperer- I haven't thought about "El Kabong" in years, but that's exactly the idea!
@Bruce Bleu- I was going to tell you what his secret alter ego looks like, but he said "STFU!"
@Terry Johnson- And that's been awhile!
@Judi King- I laughed when Trump took a shot at our intelligence agencies because I thought they deserve it. Anyone paying attention to the DOJ, FBI, NSA, and CIA knows that these agencies (at least at the leadership level) have a lot to answer for. But beyond that, Obama used to go overseas and give speeches about our whole country sucking and the Left only applauded.
@Rabbi Manny Shevitz- No question that we're living in perilous times, and having Trump at the helm definitely adds another layer of excitement (gulp) to the proceedings. As far as Trump getting his ass handed to him, I'll reserve judgment until we see what comes out of the meeting itself. Without knowing what was discussed (and how), I simply can't condemn Trump for the press conference.
@Anonymous- With no particular enthusiasm, I'd definitely have to say Putin.
@RDB- SAY, you may be on to something there! Hmm...
@loren- Thanks!
@Barbar Cat- Actually, I think the STFUman era has been here for awhile, but it's definitely reaching a crisis point.
@Judi King- That's my thought.
@Jack Colby- Yes. "Stuff you, man," absolutely. At least if there are kids around.
@AmyH- I haven't subjected myself to Obama's speech because I can't stand the SOB. But you're absolutely right - Barry is free to give all the money he likes to the IRS. He's a liar and a hypocrite.
@James Daily- I'm not seeing whatever you're seeing in terms of what Putin told Trump, but who the heck knows? But I definitely agree that Trump has exposed the deep state in a way I never thought we'd see. Granted, there's still a lot of draining to do...
@Kate- I think your coping mechanism sounds great! And here's a multi-million dollar idea I had for a product that SOMEone should make (and share the loot with me, please): a small add-on device for televisions that will superimpose a thrown pie splattering on the screen. Anderson Cooper talking about the end of the world? SPLAT! Chuck Schumer calling Trump a traitor? SPLOOTCH! I tell you, there's a fortune to be made...
@Emmentaler Limburger- I love the sound of "The Brickbat of Common Sense." I picture it being like Thor's hammer, only with more punch.
@John the Econ- I think it's almost a certainty that I'll do a little something with STFUman just because it's such a fun and pleasing idea. Though I doubt Netflix would be interested unless the character only attacks conservatives.
And you're exactly right about Trump: the fact that the outrage meter on the Left will always peg at 100% no matter what he does gives him absolute freedom.
@Colby Muenster- Sadly, the only copy of the Obama Foreign Policy Protocol book was accidentally erased by former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who looked at some of the "flexible positions" inside and assumed it was yoga lessons.
@Shelly- Russia didn't cause the polarized hostilities plaguing our nation, though it may well enjoy some playful fun by occasionally lighting the already short fuses.
@Fritz Brohn- Only a Whiffle bat can produce the satisfying "Thonk!" sound I'm looking for.
More, more, more! STFUman is my super hero! When schitter looks down his granny glasses and spouts some happy bullshit, I want to throw a bottle of my prescriptions at him.
You know, wellbutrin XL. I guess the XL means it befuddles everyone. On second thought, could someone tie him to the undercarriage of a 777 headed to china?
Not that I would do such a thing.
I don't know why but in every picture of Anderson pooper sCooper I just see a gay NAZI. ...and yeah, he definitely needs an "intercession" from STFUman.
Speaking of which, I see STFUman as the Green Lantern of whom there is more than one.
It just takes a righteous man to fill the shoes, er, spandex.
I'm envisioning upChuck Scummer surrounded by a half dozen STFUmen pounding some sense into him as I type. Feels good.
STFUman is reminiscent of the overly used Batman slapping Robin meme:
https://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2Foriginals%2F88%2Fef%2F9d%2F88ef9dac24b2de9b82a5d59ab030dc26.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F409123947380318304%2F&docid=BdPCT0_q5Yds8M&tbnid=QX1fctKV0e4cdM%3A&w=300&h=300&source=sh%2Fx%2Fim
Fracking would help, particularly in the older fields such as those in Romania. There have been some outstanding frac candidates discovered in other countries as well,such as Bulgaria. Gazprom isn't stupid, though. For minimal investments in countries which could've taken significant steps to wean themselves from Russian gas, amounts as low as $10 million (hopefully this is understood as being small in a corporate, not personal sense) were needed to fund the Greens so they could frighten the populace.
And who is/was the chairman of Gazprom while this was going on? Ironic that you should ax that question: a younger man by the name of Medveded.
I forgot to mention that, as a result, fracking is not allowed in most European countries.
@Walrus -- Thanks. Quite informative (and descriptive of sneaky international relations operations).
@Stilton -- It just struck me (sorry) but STFUman reminds me of a Punch and Judy show. Maybe you can make it a kids' show?
A whiffle bat?
Lizzie Borden says, "I think not!".
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