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Monday, February 11, 2019

Cough Dropped

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, cough, codeine, AOC, Green New Deal, Elizabeth Warren, Native American, Liar

Not much of a post today, and quite possibly for the rest of the week, owing to the fact that we've come down with an explosive, honking cough the likes of which haven't been heard since Hillary was spraying supporters with blood-flecked phlegm on the campaign trail.

To treat this condition, we've been given a prescription for a codeine-based cough syrup so strong that it makes cogent thought almost impossible. Seriously, this stuff must have been what Congresswoman Allahu Akbar Ocarina-Goretex was on when she posted the insane "Green New Deal" talking points on her website, before denying that the document was real or had ever existed. For someone new to Washington, she's certainly caught on quickly to how the game is played.

And speaking of lying liars who get caught lying, howzabout this...

Smoking gun or flaming arrow?
Senator Elizabeth "Princess Running Gag" Warren officially declared that she was running for President only days after it was revealed that she'd officially claimed to be "American Indian" on a registration card for the State Bar of Texas. A bit of misinformation she added specifically and only for the purpose of career advancement while, incidentally, elbowing aside actual minorities competing for the same positions. At least Governor Northam didn't actually try to convince anyone he was Michael Jackson.

By the way, while Warren may now be admitting that she is not a POC, here's a quick article which proves without doubt that she is a POS. 

And that's pretty much all that the pharmaceuticals coursing through our bloodstream are going to let us say for now. Would that the same were true of Democrats.

28 comments:

REM1875 said...

I am not exactly sure that is how JJ Cale sung that......But it is an excellent song.
And after time working ambulances overseas I can tell you this-- Codeine is something to respect ...... and enjoy .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWmD_HcOcfU

George said...

Get well Stilton. Perhaps Nurse Busty could pay you (and us) a visit this week?

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

I was given Tylenol with codeine after a rather gory tooth extraction. I took one dose and couldn't raise my head off my desk. I toughed it out after that. Get well soon.

Maoz said...

Stilton, refuah shleimah umeherah -- may you have a complete and speedy recovery.

Regnad Kcin said...

I would like to see some sharper have rolls of TP printed up with Ms. Warren's registration card. It would sell millions. Also, now Va. Gov. Northam says he won't step down because the people of Virginia needs his "moral compass". This clot has more nerve than a bad tooth. He needs the pineapple enema as seen in "Little Nicky" (Adam Sandler's greatest film). This cretin has the intellect of a tree stump and the moral clarity of a fog bank. As Twain said : "I wish harm on no man, but I will smile when I read his obit."

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Get better soon, Stilton! :D

Brie Camembert said...

Cheeses! Sorry to hear of your malady. I prescribe Southern Comfort - that's either the beverage or the ministrations of Miss Ross.
Get well soon.

James Daily said...

It doesn't matter what you take, Stilt: My wife, my self and several relatives got that and it takes about 2-3 weeks of putting up with it. What helped mine was sinus pills, it seem to lessen the sludge. Wife took nothing and it took her longer to get over it.
Now, how old forked tongued Warren can lie constantly and not have a sliver of conscious morality is unconscionable. I wish some of her former students would do a class action for her lying, knowing she was not Indian yet teaching a Law Class? Isn't there some sort of ethics in here someplace?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Huh. That was easy. She, apparently, did not learn from Ă˜bama - we STILL haven't seen his similar docs. You know: the ones where he claimed foreign national status to get through school more cheaply? You know they're out there...

Patiently awaiting her claims that that is not her handwriting; that she did not complete that card. You know they're coming...

Fish Out of Water said...

Must be quite the cough to call for industrial meds. But even with those sort of meds, given the face palm comedy in the Commonwealth of Virginia, Fauxahonas, Occasional Cortex, and the latest from the antisemite the people of Minnesota somehow have sent to Congress is sober reality any different?

Fred Ciampi said...

I had a nasty cough last week and I took a couple of ounces of 'hillbilly coff medicine from the mountain'. Knocked it right out.

And on little warenwathaw's application; I took a Anthropology class somewhere in my studies and if I remember correctly 'American Indian' is not a race. There are five races; Asian, Caucasian, Negro, Arabian, and Persian. Of course, with all the misuse of the facts such as 8,922,732 genders I do hear a lot of misuse of race such as Hispanic, transgender, fat, skinny, and just about anything one person can call another.

Murphy(AZ) said...

At least you have a doctor who hasn't been cowed into not prescribing the "good stuff" when needed. Be a good boy and take your meds!

As to Mz Warren, when this latest gem was revealed, her "apology" went something like "This is how I did things back then." What went unsaid was: Please don't keep looking, 'cause I was filling out all sorts of forms and registration cards as "American Indian" back then, and these embarrassments are as common as crab grass in June.

A last thought: while you're recuperating, throw out just a few words as topics and allow your readers to "free form" responses. It could get interesting.

Jan Blickenstaff said...

The people of West Virginia are so embarrassed by the political shenanigans in Virginia they wish to change their name to East Kentucky. That name will still fit into the lyrics of Country Roads.

TrickyRicky said...

Johnny's in the basement, mixin' up the medicine
I'm on the pavement, thinkin' about the government
The man in the trench coat, badge out, laid off
Says he's got a bad cough, wants to get it paid off

Beware that basement medicine Stilton.

Rod said...

This reminds me of Dad's remedy for me as a kid when I had severe sore throat, cough etc. I don't know if his treatment was Doctor-suggested or he got from the Army or where. It was a mix of iodine & glycerin with which he swapped my throat with a cotton ball on a wooden stick... a long stick. He really got in there with it. Not fun, but it worked.

James Daily is on the right track too; address the sinuses. Hot shower, Humidifer, normal saline spray, decongestant, etc. but IMO the magic bullet is Rx Fluticasone Propionate nasal spray USP; but not too much as it has real punch. I don't use unless really needed, but it will restore breathing and help stop a sinus infection

H R Miller said...

Actually AOC is Available for Occasional Curtsying

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@REM1875- I definitely respect Codeine. I once had a very thick cough syrup that didn't want to measure easily, so I just took a nice swallow from the bottle. This was a mistake: it was over 24 hours until I could sustain consciousness for more than a few minutes.

@George- Well, it is a chest cold...

@Velveeta Processed Cheese Food- The dose I'm taking isn't really knocking me out, but does make it hard for me to collect my thoughts. Or maybe I'm just distracted by the pretty pink elephants...

@Maoz- Thank you!

@Regnad Kcin- I'm not that bothered by the old (and very stupid) yearbook picture, but Northam's "moral compass" is exactly why he shouldn't be in office. And I very much agree with the Twain quote; I actually have some ongoing Google News keyword searches set up to alert me about any bad things happening to various people who've crossed me in life. I wish them no harm, but do want to celebrate their misfortune without wasting time.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Working on it!

@Brie Camembert- I'm making a point of not mixing codeine and Clan MacGregor. I just want the cough to stop, not all of my respiratory functions! (grin)

@James Daily- I'm already 2 weeks into this particular coughing jag, so hopefully I'm sneaking up on the end of it. Regarding Warren, there's definitely an ethics issue when lying on your freaking bar registration. But does anyone care? Seemingly not. I guess blackface is a lot worse than redface...

@Emmentaler Limburger- I have no doubt that there is a metric buttload of embarrassing Obama documents out there and I pray that we eventually get to see them. If Trump were to unlock all that stuff, I'd build a personal shrine to him right here in my office.

@Fish Out of Water- The problem with writing commentary while on meds is that I really just want to spout obscenities. If brevity is the soul of wit, obscenity is the soul of political analysis.

@Fred Ciampi- I don't doubt that your hillbilly coff medicine could knock out ebola if necessary. Regarding Warren, how the hell could she declare her race as "American Indian" rather than, at best, Caucasian (with American Indian) or something? Nope, she discarded all of her Caucasian ancestry in a self-serving lie. This should be especially offensive to Libs...only they don't really care about minorities and never have.

@Murphy(AZ)- As I mentioned above, codeine is pretty much the only option available to me because of other meds, and my doctor knows I don't have an addictive personality. Specifically, I'm too much of an introvert to be willing to leave the house and meet with drug dealers.

@Jan Blickenstaff- East Kentucky has a nice ring to it. I hope it happens!

@TrickyRicky- Wicked beats!

@Rod- I'm not sure that your Dad's remedy would really cure anything, but I imagine it kept you from complaining about symptoms (grin).

And good advice about the sinuses. I use a CPAP machine so that's probably not helping anything. Time for me to put some distilled water...or perhaps Clan MacGregor...in the machine's humidified!

@H R Miller- Coming up with various meanings of AOC is now one of my favorite games!

rickn8or said...

@Rod- I'm not sure that your Dad's remedy would really cure anything, but I imagine it kept you from complaining about symptoms (grin).

Isn't that sort of the theory behind acupuncture?

"Patient complains of 'x'."
"Stick hot needles in patient."
"Patient stops complaining of 'x'."

John the Econ said...

At least you have a legitimate excuse for a certain level of incoherence.

Meanwhile, we have an adviser for AOC suggesting that the whole Green New Deal document was actually authored and distributed by the GOP.

Imagine that: A trail balloon so hideously embarrassing that they have to pretend that it was a parody generated by the opposition. But not before most of the Democratic Presidential contenders actually endorsed it!

If only the GOP was actually that competent!

Meanwhile, the chances that America will get to elect its first native American woman of lack of color continues to diminish. Even the MSM is starting to turn on her. If Fauxcahontas had only allowed herself to be satisfied with her well established Senate seat, she could have sat that out for the rest of her life eventually with a Clinton-level standard of living. Now that she's become a punchline, she'll be lucky to keep her seat-for-life in the Senate, much less have a chance to become Commander-in-Chief.

Her "Trump will go to prison" theme is further proof of her desperation. She's literally feeling it all slip away. At least Harvard will giver her $400,000-a-year near-no-show job back while she hits the lecture circuit where she'll be able to continue to tell us how unjust America is for not letting her be President.

Just as amazing, as someone who used to be considered the vanguard of the far left along with Bernie, she's already being outflanked. Last week I watched an interview with her where she laid claim to being "pro-capitalism" while explaining why we need to employ fascism, socialism, and communism to save capitalism. That alone should doom her. With capitalists like Liz Warren, who needs communists?

But the best part of the whole Fauxcahontas story is that she is a front-and-center walking argument as to what a fraud affirmative action really is, and why we should put a fork in it for good.

Governor Northam: Not going anywhere. We all know the rules are different for the left. And considering that the line of succession includes more minstrel actors and #MeToo villains, the governorship would ultimately end up with a Republican if the dominoes start to fall. Will never happen.

Murphy(AZ) said...

I'm loving how Northam claims that he can fix the problems he caused "cause he's a doctor.

Physician, heal thyself!

Colby Muenster said...

At the risk of posting 9 times again, here goes....

Get well soon, Stilton! Sounds like the only opioid crisis you have is the possibility of running out! PS - I'm really enjoying your daily take on AOC's name.

I just realized Lizzie Warren's initials are "EW!" Yes, this idiot has shot herself in the foot with her ridiculous America Indian bullship, and I'm enjoying the hell out of watching her career slowly fizzle out. Although, she is from Massachusetts - the state that kept Chappaquiddick Boy in office for what, 64 years? And... Trump's going to prison? Sorry Lizzie, being a buffoon on Twitter is not illegal. Lying about your ethnicity on a college/job application just might be, however.

John the Econ,
Agreed on all counts. Dems get away with everything up to and including murder (Vince Foster?), so Northam's stunts are tiny ripples in a giant ocean with 70 foot tsunami waves.

Judi King said...

I believe there's only one race.....the Human race. All others are just off shoots of that.

Dan said...

When I was going to college, I didn't like the race/ethnicity question on applications, so every semester or so I changed my ethnic group. Sometimes Caucasian/white, sometimes black (or whatever was the proper term then), sometimes Hispanic (also called something else then -- Spanish surnamed, I think).

I don't think it ever changed my application status, and I fully trust the Univ of Texas wouldn't share my private information (sarc) but my junk mail changed. There were times some of it was even in Spanish.

Sortahwitte said...

Best wishes for a speedy recovery, Stilt. I also endured the painting of the back of the throat with merthiolate. I'll raise you one, though. My grandmother would take about one quarter cup of kerosene plus a spoon of sugar and make me swallow it. Whatever demons of disease or smartassedness would come running out of some orifice or the other.

I am really getting really tired of fauxcahontas bringing up Oklahoma every time she has a brain fart. We have more than enough delusional wanna-be indians down here. She hasn't been here in years. Good riddance.

rickn8or said...

Sortahwitte, "been there"? I seriously doubt she could find it on a map.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like terpinhydrate (sp) with codeine
Haven't seen it in many years. Nasty tasting, but effective.
Had to sign the sheet, but no RX required.

NSF

Anonymous said...

Codeine? Yuck. The doc prescribed that for me once. I had some wild, technicolor nightmares and thrashed about so badly in bed that I wound up smashing my face into a bedside nightstand and had a shiner for two weeks. That was the first dose. Never made it to the second, and I've been certain to list it in the allergies section whenever I need to fill out a new medical form.

FWIW, I also use a CPAP machine. Best cleaner I've found (in terms of both being effective and not too much of a PITA to use is this: https://www.virtuox.net/Products/VirtuClean

I'm not affiliated with the product in any way other than being a satisfied user and will receive no compensation for this endorsement.

Navyvet said...

Isn't it against the law to lie on a registration card for the bar. But then lawyer is merely a synonym for liar, so I guess not.