Friday, May 26, 2017
"Pick A Punchline" Friday
We're juggling a lot of household chores in preparation for some major renovations (which you'll hear about ad nauseam in the future) so decided to ignore what passes for news and just have a little TGIF fun today.
We can't say exactly why we like giving these Earwigs cartoons an old and rumpled look, other than it's fun to imagine them having been clipped from a really weird newspaper, perhaps on the same page as Ripley's Believe It Or Not. Which is also a story for another day...
On a different note entirely, this is Memorial Day weekend. Here's hoping that you fly your flag and enjoy getting together with family and friends for lawn games, hot dogs on the grill, a brewski or two, and a nice thick slice of Mom's apple pie.
And somewhere amidst the fun, be sure to take time to give thanks for those who sacrificed everything to give us the unimaginable freedoms and opportunities we enjoy every single day - even these days of apocalyptic, hair-on-fire hyperbole in the fake news media.
Especially make sure that any children (and at this point, we consider "children" to be anyone under 30) understands what this hallowed day is really about.
Have fun, stay safe, and watch out for those falling pianos!
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM
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"Looking for his right hand ........"
The day the late Homer Blodnoff put prickly pear cactus on his momma's chair.
"Acme? I thought it was a Steinway!"
In Israel Memorial Day for fallen IDF soldiers is the day before Independence Day. On the one hand, it's something of an emotional whiplash going from such a somber, solemn day -- especially for the bereaved families, of which there are so many -- straight into a day of wildly joyous celebration. On the other hand, it insures that we never lose sight of the sacrifices made by our service members to gain and preserve our freedom. No one here can think of Memorial Day as being just another day off from work/school.
I wish a meaningful (and enjoyable) Memorial Day to the Jahrlsbergs and all Stilton's American readers.
"Birds!!!! Birds!!!! It's a flock of Birds circling me!!!"
Stan having a romantic moment with his girlfriend.
"Martha! I'm coming to see you, Martha. I feel the big one coming on."
"Fred, I thought your wife's name was Elizabeth."
"Elizabeth's dead. Martha lives on the 8th floor over there. My Viagra just kicked in."
Happy Friday, everyone!
And remember...Barbecue food only. No lawns, vinyl siding, etc. :-)
A sincere thanks to all present and former Servicemen/women.
Knock me over with a canary feather. Hillary has just admitted she's responsible for the bengahzi disaster, improper use of government e-mails and the reason she is not POTUS is her fault.
Thanks for the nice refresher on the meaning of this holiday.
Oh by the way... your mind certainly IS fertile; another way of saying you're full of funny stuff.
And we're going to have a total eclipse of the Sun here this August 21. It will be very interesting but not exactly an action-packed day. Maybe we'll find other Earwig fans set-up along the centerline for a doubleheader.
It might be too late to volunteer this year, but if you're looking for something - that will certainly touch your heart - do do next year for Memorial Day, check out Flags for Fallen Vets. I can almost guarantee that you won't find a better way to spend your Sunday morning on Memorial Day weekend. (and you can extend the joy by coming back for the flag removal too)
@Readers- By the way, I should mention that I'm not intentionally treating Memorial Day as a "PS" to today's post. On Monday, which actually is Memorial Day, I plan to have something a bit more serious. But since this is a festive weekend for many, I wanted to at least get the ball rolling.
Also, kudos for the many funny punchlines being offered up today!
@Maoz- That makes a lot of sense. Sadly, it would never happen here because too many people would feel they're getting cheated out of an extra three day weekend. On another note, let me say how glad I am that Trump's visit to Israel went so well, and how pleasing it is that America's support for Israel is no longer in doubt.
@Stan da Man- I didn't follow that election closely, but am delighted that the Democrat lost. And the mention of "nudist camps" makes me wonder if they have men's, women's, and other's bathrooms or just a single multi-seat bathroom without walls?
@Rod- There's nothing quite as exciting as a solar eclipse, with the possible exception of a cloud drifting in front of the sun. Seriously, why so much excitement because of shade?
@txGreg- That's a great suggestion!
"Unfortunately, Fred assumes a permanent stance after a visit to the chiropractor."
"Charles learns from a holistic website that staring at the sun will cure his astigmatism."
Harold thought it was about time to check for the palm hair he had been warned about. Unfortunately, his vision has been getting worse and worse lately.
@ Stilton: Oh, that's because for many they become laid-back outdoor socials with beer (assuming one doesn't burn their eyes out.) Be careful with the eyes.
> They're unusual. "Wanna be there" effect
> Because it upsets "Flat Earthers" so much.
> It's much more pleasant than seeing a space shuttle break apart upon re-entry
> It's also fun to see birds get faked out.
> It's interesting to be reminded how eclipses were used by the ancients.
> Gives astronomers & the weather channel something different to talk about.
> Cool graphics in advance
And this reply sort of approaches Earwig status; didn't really intend that.
"They're right. It does make you blind"
Montana: It's hard to know if Gianforte gained or lost votes after taking down a reporter from The Guardian. Outside of certain university-enteric enclaves, Montana is a very conservative state. (Their Democratic governor would be labeled a right-wing extremist anywhere outside of "flyover country") What is certain is that if Rob Quist (a perpetually in debt folk-singing hippie with no political experience outside of merely being a leftist) is the best the Democrats have to offer, the GOP should have little to worry about come midterms.
Unless, of course, they run candidates even more lame.
"Re-enacting his medal-winning pole-vault for his friends, Clyde is momentarily blinded by the sun."
"Protecting his face from the mosquito in from of him, Steve was left open to the kidney punch that dropped him."
"Stan recoiled from the proctologist's unexpected touch"
OK. I give up...
• Irv does his impression of Peanut telling a joke that goes over Jeff Dunham's head.
• Irv relives his limbo triumph of forty years ago.
• Irv forgot his reading glasses and is having trouble with his crib notes.
• Irv asks people if they know the name of that movie where the guy dodges bullets like this.
Trying to visualize the mountain of lies from the left wing media, Godfrey is now a candidate for traction.
Bruce does his emotional, heart-rending dance to the strains of "True" by Spandau Ballet.
"and General Tom Thumb experiences his first encounter with Shaquille O'Neal"
@Readers- More great captions! Special shout outs to Doug M for "the movie where the guy dodges bullets like this," and Emmentaler for "the proctologist's unexpected touch," though I enjoy ALL the punchlines!
Jimmy's first load, pent up for 16 long years, actually achieved earth orbit......
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