Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Stick It In Your (Good) Ear

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, colbert, cock holster, cbs, jack paar, water closet
Yes, that's an actual quote from Colbert.
We'd like to feign outrage at Stephen Colbert for his extended, gutter-language attack on President Trump on the CBS "Late Show," but frankly we've come to expect this bottom-scraping level of discourse from the Left.

More than anything else, this incident has given us a moment of nostalgia for the days when obscenity wasn't considered family entertainment. Specifically, we're remembering when Jack Paar, the wildly popular host of "The Tonight Show" at the time, actually lost his job after he dared to utter the words "water closet" (a gentle euphemism for "bathroom," as if one were needed) on his late night broadcast. How times have changed - and not for the better.

Mind you, when it comes to being garbage-mouthed, we can personally put Tourette's patients to shame. But we're not on a national stage, talking about the President of the United States. And in eight years of attacking Barack Obama, with cause, we never went quite as far as Colbert did. Except maybe that one Valentine's Day when we mentioned that Barry and his "body man," Reggie Love, could use Preperation-H to make their relationship even tighter.

Perhaps Colbert's screed can be attributed to the well-documented ratings war between himself and his late night rival Jimmy Fallon. The race for first place is thought to boil down to (and "I kid you not," as Paar used to say) which host can be the most vicious in his attacks on Trump. Or maybe the genuinely witty (but wildly liberal) Colbert has simply lost his mind after enduring 100 days of a President trying to make America great again.

We aren't going to boycott Colbert, because we already don't watch his show. But we hope he cleans up his act, and restricts his scatological outbursts to a more appropriate time and place.

We're thinking the water closet.

We have no idea, however, if he also has asymmetrical nuts.

In keeping with our reflection on the once-genteel nature of popular entertainment, we thought it would be fun to share a bit of movie trivia we recently discovered.

Back in 1960, Alfred Hitchcock's classic film"Psycho" was the first American movie (let alone TV show) to show a toilet being flushed. Audiences were shocked and horrified, even though the commode (oops, there goes our late night TV career) was only being used to dispose of torn scraps of paper.

Not even toilet paper. And definitely not used toilet paper. Which could probably get its own late night show these days.

The film that changed the whirl of motion pictures!


Mike L said...

We loved Johnny Carson because he tried to pick on both sides pretty evenly. I'm proud to say our household tuned out from all late night shows over a year ago.

madmanmike1980 said...

I think Don Henley's Dirty Laundry would be an appropriate theme song for NBC, CBS, ABC, and CNN, along with the rest of the liberal lamestream media.

james daily said...

When Jay left, so did we. Now on Colbert, I believe the ear can be attributed to plastic surgery gone bad when he was trying to get the doc-doc to form them into
pistol grips. Quite frankly, we do not listen to any of the rude tirades from the left as our moral compass lets us navigate past such activity.

Bruce Bleu said...

Just like in all the liberal media, colbert is PROJECTING what HE wants or does on to Trump!!!!!!!! What I "heard" is that colbert actually IS a holster for MANY "roosters", and has offered some "extra considerations" to Puketin is he is allowed to "interview" him. He "said" to him he will let Vlad enjoy his "specialty"... the "concealed carry" which is followed by a surreptitious visit to a sperm bank. For some reason colbert likes to crossdress in blue, (gee, what could be the entendre there?), and when he was younger was given a CB radio, for which his "handle" happened to be "Pirate Duck Feather" since everybody greeted him with "Blow Me Down".
Sorry stevie... HAD to "out" you... the public deserves to know the truth!

Emmentaler Limburger said...

What is this "television" you speak of?! Because of what currently passes for entertainment, and the leftist undertone in just about everything offered, we cut that cord long, long ago. Late Show? Didn't that die with Carson?

I find it hilarious, actually. I cannot count how many times a lefty chastised me for typing Ă˜bama and that I should respect the president no matter who s/he is, yada, yada... And now, I see only incredible displays of them "practicing what they preach" on display for all to see. Again: liberalism is a form of mental illness.

Fish Out of Water said...

Hey, its CBS 'programming" so did you expect less?

Besides is long-running biased news presentations (including the now long at the tooth, 60 Minutes) its programming is basically old, lame and tired: contemporary makeover of its 60's & 70's programming and for that reason, the only time I find myself watching anything on CBS, is when there is a football game I want to watch, and even then, the play by play commentary is lame.

FlyBoy said...

I used to be a fan of Letterman, until his liberal bias surfaced, and it came out that he was banging his interns. Never cared for Fallon, Kimmel and Conan are occasionally watchable. Colbert comes across as angry, crass and vindictive. When are celebrities going to learn that we watch them to be entertained, not lectured to? I don't give a rat's ass what they think of our political leaders-just keep it to themselves.

Somewhat related-I see that Tom Hanks' new movie just bombed over the weekend. I wonder if it has anything to do with his hobnobbing w/ Barry in the Bahamas last month? I know I will never see a Hanks movie again...I don't care how good he was.

P.S: Colbert has no nuts.

Anonymous said...

Great post as always!!

One little thing..... Colbert says cock-holster, and you refer to that as scatological, which, when you think about the definition of scatological, makes me wonder just what kind of hi-jinks go on at Che Jarlsberg.... lol


Old 1811 said...

Funny someone mentioned Johnny Carson. I saw him in Vegas in 1980. He was hilarious, and he never said one dirty word. It was Vegas, and he could have said anything he wanted.
He also once said, "When you inject politics into your persona, you alienate half your audience." Smart man.
And regarding "Psycho": When Hitchcock first submitted it to the censors (the Hays Code was in effect then), it was rejected because of the shower scene. Three of the censors saw nudity, and two didn't. Hitchcock took the movie back, saying he'd re-edit the scene. He submitted the movie again, without changing anything. This time only two of the censors saw nudity, and three didn't, so it was passed.
Of course, there's no nudity at all (other than arms and feet) in the scene.

Geoff King said...

On tv trivia, I had always believed that Star Trek was the first show featuring an interracial kiss (between Kirk and Uhura), but upon researching that I found there were at least two previous series with that claim to fame. I love Lucy being an obvious one.
There is also debate on which show first featured a married couple sharing (gasp!) the same bed. My money is on Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Alfonso Bedoya said...

I stopped watching late-night TV shows long ago after Carson retired because they had by-and-large morphed into political diatribes that masqueraded as "entertainment." I now have to occasionally put up with CNN, NBC, CBS, MSNBC and ABC "entertainment" that---other than the weather forecasts---masquerades as "news." Truly unbiased investigative reporting is a thing of the past, and I now watch FOX, even though Megan and Reilly are gone. Varney, Hannity, Bret Baier and Lou Dobbs still hold down the fort, but who knows how long they will last before Soros buys the network merely to scuttle it.

John the Econ said...

What gets me (once again) is the license that supposedly enlightened Progressives get to take with using homosexuality as a slur. If you or I had said this, we'd be hounded out of ironically-regarded "polite society" as homophobic haters. But if you're a leftist, feel free to call anyone to the right of Elizabeth Warren a "cock holster" or "teabagger" and it's all good.

@Stilton is right; In little more than a generation we've gone from where uttering "water closet" was a career-ending gaffe to where swimming in one is de rigueur.

As for Colbert: Like @Stilton, we can't boycott him any more than we already do. (Mrs. Econ & I gave his show a chance on his opening night, uttered "meh", and forgot about it) For those thinking that anything will come of the #cancelcolbert movement, don't hold your breath. We all know there's is a totally different standard of behavior and consequences for Progressives versus conservatives, and there's little a Progressive can do these days to permanently destroy their career that will not cheerfully flushed down the memory hole as long as they're faithful to the agenda.

As for hoping he cleans up his act, I disagree. I say "keep it up" and let the left proudly own the sewer. (They used to own the gutter, but there was just too much sunlight there) Let the left continue their swirl around the bowl until the inevitable, all the while continuing to insist they're the smart and cultured ones.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Geoff - parents of my best friend in High School slept in separate beds. I'd never heard of such a thing.

John the Econ said...

Johnny Carson: A class act. As @Old 1811 points out, Carson was a true talent that didn't need to be crude to be genuinely funny. Having attended more than my share of comedy shows, you always knew when someone was bombing and knew it when they'd start dropping the expletives and got crude. This is one reason that stand-up largely died a decade or so ago, as audiences finally got tired of watching no-talent hacks do nothing more than drop f-bombs for an hour or so. So where do you go from there, especially since almost every other topic these days is taboo?

Letterman: Loved him back in the '80s, when his approach to TV was fresh and mocked what had become a staid format. By the '90s, his show which had redefined the format had too become routine and largely on auto-pilot. I'd had been tuned out for over a decade before he became just another leftist mouthpiece.

Once in a blue moon, I might catch a bit of Kimmel, who I generally find funny. But for the most part, I've ignored late-night TV for at least 25 years. I've missed little.

Speaking of late night drama: Only the truly unplugged aren't aware of Jimmy Kimmel's touching tale of his son's heart defect, which then turned into a political rant against whatever he thinks Trump is doing with health care.

But here's the kicker: Inevitably, under the "single payer" paradigm these leftists all pine for, the reality is that kids like his son with defects simply won't be born. Under federally mandated maternity care, their conditions will be identified in utero and then will be aborted before they become a burden to the parents and taxpayers.

Except, of course, wealthy Progressive elitists like Kimmel, who will be able to afford whatever care they need.

Colby Muenster said...

My apologies to my friends here who actually do stay up late watching the tube, but I pretty much stopped watching late night TV when I had to start getting up at 6 to go to work 47 years ago. Never seen dumbass Colbert, but did see a clip of his fantastically sophomoric rant. Just another of thousands if examples of "what would his audience had done if somebody did the same rant with Obammy or Shrillary as the subject?"

And, as Old 1811 said, I am still pretty much dumbfounded that turds like Colbert seem to not care that they are completely alienating roughly 1/2 of possible TV viewers. Imagine how he would kick Fallon's ass if he started being... well... funny, and left the childish bashing to others. Somehow, guys like Carson and Leno pulled this off and had huge viewership from both sides of the aisle. Letterman too, until he fell off the left side of the wagon.

@Stilton said,
"We have no idea, however, if he also has asymmetrical nuts." I have it from pretty reliable sources that one of Colbert's nuts is larger than the other two (hats off to Ron White for that one!).

Shelly said...

I was watching a clip of Jimmy Kimmel's heartfelt story about the birth of his son and could relate inasmuch as my granddaughter was born with a similar condition and has Down Syndrome. It was apparent he was very emotional about it and turned to humor whenever he got choked up. I was so utterly disappointed that he turned such a touching story into a left-wing political screed at the end. Why do they have to do this? I just don't get it. As for Colbert, I haven't watched a minute of his nasty show and I don't intend to. Sure, his sycophants eat it up but even they will ultimately get bored with it. Even my daughter, who is no liberal but is far more tolerant of them than I am, says she is bored with all the Trump bashing by comedians she likes, like John Oliver. It's just not funny.

Cookie said...

@Emmentaler--I have also had that experience of people saying we should show complete respect for the POTUS simply because he is the POTUS. I have long held the belief that I expect anyone, no matter their station in life, to earn my respect. And late night television personalities certainly don't have it any more than nobama had it. I'm still waiting for more on our current POTUS, but so far I respect him more than I respected the last commander-in-thief. Coldbeer and his ilk will never gain respect from anyone who is respectable!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike L- Carson was the master. He didn't wear his politics on his sleeve, and he was often at his funniest when his monologue jokes were bombing. A consummate professional.

@Mike Bennett- Henley's politics don't usually align with mine, but I love the song Dirty Laundry (and many of his other songs).

@James Daily- I'm not against using humor as a weapon, including edgy humor. But Colbert crossed a line (as I've been known to do myself upon occasion). My real concern isn't so much Colbert, but the way our whole entertainment culture has shifted to the wildly profane.

@Bruce Bleu- Nice rant!

@Emmentaler Limburger- I was going to bring up the whole issue of "respecting the office," which I still believe is a good thing. I did it myself with Obama as long as humanly possible, but "the office" isn't a shield forever. That being said, we sure heard it from the Left a lot over the past 8 years didn't we?

@Fish Out of Water- I don't watch any network television (including sports). I watch a tiny dab of Fox, Jeopardy re-runs, and streaming content from Netflix and Amazon. And I don't feel like I'm missing anything.

@FlyBoy- Jay Leno was pretty good about balancing his political jokes, but that tradition seems to be long gone amongst the current late night hosts. And I don't know that it's Tom Hanks' politics that negatively affected the opening of his new film so much as the bad reviews.

@porkyspen- You're just trying to trick me into saying "Dirty Sanchez." D'oh! I said it!

@Old 1811- It's that whole "losing half your audience" thing that amazes me. Of course, these days it's all about the advertising demographic you want to sell to - if the half of your audience you lose is old farts (like me!) who aren't actively buying a lot of crap, no one will care. And the political leanings of the younger, more aggressive spenders definitely leans Left.

And Hitchcock's edit of the "Psycho" shower scene is masterful. So little is seen, but so much implied. I miss filmmaking like that.

@Geoff King- You've thrown me a bit with the "I Love Lucy" reference. I'm not sure I'd consider Lucy's marriage to a Cuban to be "interracial" - but then again, maybe it was thought of that way at the time, what with Ricky's frilly sleeves and passionate shouts of "Babaloo!"

@Alfonso Bedoya- I've pulled away from the whole TV scene, and couldn't tell you a current "big 3 network" show with a gun held to my head. My favorite news source these days is the Wall Street Journal. The Journal Editorial Report (on Fox News weekly) is also great.

@John the Econ- I'm sure that Colbert would argue that his slur was "meta" homophobia; he doesn't think it's insulting to be called homosexual, but he assumes Trump would find it insulting, making it therefore okay. Of course, it's all just the worst kind of hypocrisy.

Regarding Colbert, as I mentioned above I'm more depressed by the overall state of today's foul entertainment culture rather than what we're hearing from any single entertainer. I believe it's harmful to kids, harmful to our culture, and harmful to our values as a nation.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pete (Detroit)- There are all kinds of plausible explanations: tossing and turning, snoring, different sleep cycles, or pure hatred.

@John the Econ- I have huge respect for comics who "work clean" because it's harder. Mind you, I don't mind comedy that's peppered with coarse language if the bit is funny. But too many comics just try to rely on shock value, which takes no talent at all.

Good points about Jimmy Kimmel. I haven't watched what he said yet, though will need to do it - though I already know that I don't agree with his conclusion. I'm not going to bad mouth the man, though - I can't/won't talk about it online, but he once did an unexpected kindness for my mother. So until further notice, he gets a free pass from me. Plus, he's actually pretty darn funny.

@Colby Muenster- Part of the reason entertainers don't try to play to "everyone" these days is that media has changed so much. Hosts aren't competing against two other networks, they've competing against several hundred other channels and infinite streaming options. And it's the nature of audiences these days to seek out "confirmation bias" in their programming, favoring shows that support their personal beliefs and preferences. They get a little adrenalin zip from hearing a stinger they agree with, and that reinforcement brings them back to the show again and again, as surely as a rat hitting a button to get a pellet of food.

@Shelly- My heart goes out to Kimmel, and certainly to you and your family. But while we can all be moved by an emotional story (and should be, for that matter), it's not a good way to formulate healthcare policy. Our hearts may tell us to just provide all medical treatment for everyone - but no such system can exist or evolve. It's a false kindness to promise people a Utopia that can't succeed; far better to deliver the best that compassion, tempered with reality, can deliver.

@Cookie- I completely agree. I remember a former boss who, upon first joining the company, demanded loyalty. But like respect, loyalty needs to be earned. And she sure as hell never got mine.

I do believe that while assembling evidence you should give someone the benefit of the doubt. That's true whether it's Trump or Obama. But after a certain grace period, they're on their own.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Stilt, in re separate beds, full agreed, and pretty sure all that occurred to me at the time. Point being, at the tender age of 15, in the late 70's, I had not been exposed to the 'two beds' meme - I simply hadn't watched shows of a vintage that showed it...

Bill Cosby was also laugh until you choke funny w/o being vulgar. Shame about his dating habits...

John Holton said...

We've taken to watching old reruns late at night, when we aren't already in bed.

Some channels are so desperate for content that they'll soon take to showing a man sitting on the toilet for half an hour. Sometimes I think we're already there.

Rod said...

I just got back to the party. Proud to say Johnny Carson retained "Nebraska Midwest" values & was indeed the best. After him late night declined rapidly & has become intolerable. Go political very far either way and I'm out of there; that smoke is for 5:30 & I can skip it. We've not watched SNL or late night in years.

It's a mystery why these folks are important. They're for when you're tired, but not ready to go to bed; and we want something "free" to move and be funny every once in a while... not a "venue" which is rarely interesting & fun. I don't get it.
They're a small step above cheesy commercial channels & that's no compliment.

JeremyR said...

Fish out of water, it is SeeBS programming.
Stilton, when they tried Preparation-H, Barry disappeared for almost a week. He is after all a hemorrhoid with ears, Yuge ears!

John the Econ said...

"I'm more depressed by the overall state of today's foul entertainment culture rather than what we're hearing from any single entertainer. I believe it's harmful to kids, harmful to our culture, and harmful to our values as a nation."

Agreed, it's a sea of cultural diarrhea. What now passes as acceptable conversation among grade school children would have made my grandparents faint. Speaking of what passes for "children's programming" these days, have you seen what supposed "Science Guy" Bill Nye is pushing these days?

(Warning: I wouldn't pull this one up if I was at work)

Bill Nye the 'Vagina Guy' Indoctrinates Kids Into Gay Sex on Netflix

We've come a long way from those "afternoon specials" haven't we? "Children's Programming" is now vile enough to get you pulled into HR if you were to view it in a professional setting. People who went apoplectic over comments about "pussy grabbing" seem fine with this.

Kimmel: I think he is funny, and I have little doubt that he's a genuinely nice guy. It would be difficult for him to come across every single night as he does if he wasn't. And I don't think he's your typical Hollywood leftist stooge. I write off what he said the other night to being in a highly emotional state, and being totally surrounded by elites who honestly believe that "single payer" is going to save babies versus aborting them when they're expected to be too much trouble.

@Pete (Detroit): Bill Cosby was a great example of a comedian who for decades was genuinely funny without ever having to resort to being crude. He was an excellent role model until we found out that he wasn't. He was one of the few prominent black entertainers who stood up to the garbage that the majority of other black entertainers were spewing which has done far more damage than anything that Jim Crow could have achieved. What he did is a bigger crime and betrayal to our culture than most will likely ever know.

Joe Jetson said...

I was flipping through the channels and caught Colbert's "act". I am not easily shocked, but it was shocking. And it wasn't even the night where he was making the infamous gay slurs about Pres. Trump and Putin. His entire "monologue" was entirely a hate-filled diatribe aimed at Trump and Conservatives.

Colbert should change the name of his show from "The Tonight Show" to "The Hate Hour" from the book 1984. These leftists have literally gone insane.