During an interview pushing her bitter, brain-damaged memoir "What Happened," (soon to be followed by the sequel "Where Am I?") Hillary Clinton was asked about her practice of yoga.
Surprisingly, she was able to recall some details despite having erased some 33,000 "personal" emails on the subject (along with other "personal" email like details of her mother's funeral, Chelsea's wedding, family recipes, multiple refusals of additional security to Ambassador Stevens in Benghazi and, of course, her highly personal sale of America's uranium reserves to Russia).
Part of her yoga routine consists of "alternate nostril breathing," which involves closing one nostril with a finger and then breathing deeply through the other. This is then repeated until she reaches an oxygen-deprived state in which she can temporarily forget that she is officially The Biggest Loser In History.
The alternate nostril technique does not, however, work for her husband Bill - who famously does not inhale, but is no stranger to blowing.
SPEAKING OF ALTERNATES
The cartoon above wasn't our first version, but we considered it the funniest version. Still, the joke may be a bit vague for those who have clean minds or who have mercifully forgotten Huma Abedin. For you, we present the alternate version of the cartoon, which you should read while holding one of your nostrils shut.
|"Code name: Chardonnay."