Friday, June 15, 2018
The long-touted DOJ inspector general's report on James Comey's bizarre antics as FBI head was finally made public yesterday, and it's safe to say that it feels more than a little underwhelming.
Oh sure, it catalogs plenty of wrongdoing, but backs away from accusing Comey of intending to do harm...in much the same way Comey himself gave a ludicrous free pass to Hillary Clinton despite her demonstrable panoply of high and low crimes.
The report, which we admittedly haven't read in full owing to actually having A) a semblance of a life and B) no faith whatsoever in the DOJ, calls Comey's actions "extraordinary and insubordinate" - which sounds more like the title of a bad Matt Damon/Ben Affleck film than the final words Comey should hear as a cell door clangs shut behind him.
The report also mentions the desire of various FBI agents working on Hillary's case to "stop Trump," which sounds pretty darn politically motivated to us...but then, swamp dwellers seem to live by different rules.
Our takeaway is that the highly-politicized Comey and his crew destroyed the credibility of the FBI which isn't really a good thing for the rule of law in our nation. In fact, this inspector general's report mostly serves as another reminder that we are too often ruled by the lawless.
BONUS: HERE'S LOOKING AT YOU, GOD
In a startling bit of research which definitively proves, once and for all, that "researching" is the easiest job on Earth, a composite picture of the face of God has been assembled based on the scientifically precise method of having 511 people look at mugshot-style faces and then choose the ones which most look like God. Presumably after the Almighty was being booked for something.
When a computer combined the selected sketches into a single image, it was revealed that many conservative Christians believe that God looks like Jimmy Fallon, while liberals saw God as being a bit younger, a bit more feminine, and a bit more likely to have a really long, detailed and annoyingly precise set of instructions to give the barista at Starbucks.
Frankly, we find the resulting image to be a little less than awe-inspiring. In fact, we think the only thing this pointless exercise proves is that people are spending a lot more time watching late night TV than reading the Bible.
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM