Friday, August 24, 2018

Hawaiian Aye-Aye-Aye!

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, hawaii, emergency, hurricane, Lane, third world, nothing is easy in Hawaii
A lot of people might get lei'd to rest...
Within the next few hours, we'll know if Hawaii has been devastated by its worst hurricane in decades, or if the fates have smiled once again on the islands and steered Hurricane Lane back out to sea.

If disaster is avoided, however, it certainly won't be because of anything the local government and emergency preparedness agencies have done (specifically on the island of Oahu, the home to Honolulu, Waikiki, and Pearl Harbor). To put it delicately, the officials' preparations would feel right at home on a pupu platter...because those plans are pupu from top to bottom.

A quick bit of back story: for many years, Stilton's parents lived on Oahu (a sibling still does), and so we were frequent visitors. The island is unquestionably spectacularly beautiful, but anything government has touched has gone straight to hell. Pretty much nothing works right in Hawaii, in part because the island's culture encourages a lackadaisical attitude toward anything like efficiency, responsibility, and basic competence. When visiting, our day-to-day mantra was "Nothing is easy in Hawaii."

It's among our most socialist states, with almost everyone getting some kind of handout from the government. It has the highest per capita homeless population of any state. Prices for everything are sky high. Their medical system has been described as that of a "third world country" owing to doctors fleeing the state because of unsustainably small payments from Medicare and Medicaid (a canary in the coal mine that we on the mainland had better pay attention to). And for many years, building standards were so lax (and builders so casually inept) that a significant percentage of homes offer no protection at all in case of emergency conditions. Frankly, Gilligan's Island had a way better model of sustainability in all ways.

Which now brings us to Hurricane Lane. Considering hurricanes are pretty much a known threat to Hawaii, you'd think they'd have emergency plans out the wazoo. But no, their plans remain firmly in their wazoos along with the residue of a lot of macaroni salad and Spam.

Residents are being warned to head to shelters for safety, but there are a few little problems with that. For one thing, no bureaucrats have bothered to keep a list of official shelters. In reviewing the shelters they can find, it seems that exactly none of them have been hardened to stand up to even a Category One hurricane (the weakest and most cuddly sized). But having the roof collapse on their heads may be the least of people's problems, because many of the shelters are located in flood zones. Apparently, the emergency preparedness folks never considered the likelihood that a hurricane just might be bringing along a buttload of rain.

If people do go to one of these unsafe shelters (and there's only room for about one fifth of the population), they're being told they'll have to survive in a 3 foot by 3 foot space for up to two weeks, they need to bring their own bedding and anything else important, and - oh yeah! - bring their own food. Because it never dawned on Hawaiian officials that people in shelters might actually need to eat. Although it being Hawaii, there's a fairly good chance that the waves crashing though the shelter doors will bring fresh fish, and coconuts will regularly be exploding through windows at 100 mph. So there are some benefits to living in Paradise.

We're obviously hoping the best for the people of Hawaii, but think this should serve as a graphic (and hopefully not deadly) reminder that there's a great danger in putting too much faith in government bureaucrats to watch after your safety, welfare, and future.

Which is, of course, exactly what those on the Left are shooting for. And if they get their way, we'll all be saying "Aloha" to our very way of life.


This got posted on Facebook on Wednesday, relating to the news of Michael Cohen trying to characterize Trump's hootchy-coo non-disclosure agreements into something more sinister.


Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

That last cartoon would leave a mark, if either of them had a conscience and were capable of shame.

BWMAGA said...

Point everyone towards Oprah's place. I hear she owns half the islands. Sure from the look of her she's got enough food and definitely enough money to hold out. I think she needs to pay her "fair share" and make the islands whole again and as for shelter, just hide behind her butt. That would save many.
Maybe the County Recorder's office will get blown open and we can finally find Obummer's REAL file.

Rod said...

Damn! Thangs must have gotten that way in Hawaii both before and after Barry was in the community organizin' bidnez.

LCDR M(Ret) said...

I lived on Oahu for quite a few years. Retired from the Navy there and then worked as an HPD beat cop from Makaha to Ewa Beach.

Seems like nothing has changed since I left! Glad I left.

REM1875 said...

Socialism in paradise ........what could go wrong ???

Bobo the Hobo said...

RE: government safety officials ... Book ‘em, Danno

Fish Out of Water said...

You left who the state is run by....democrats.

@ Velveeta: " if either of them had a conscience" Oh they do have a conscience , just the wrong kind of conscience..

james daily said...

Wow. The hula dancer is a spitting image of my (and probably 13M other boys) first love of that Mouseketeer Annette Funicello - until I saw her in a bathing suit in a beach movie, then all the mystery was gone and so was my infatuation.
On the Hawaiian public service, where is the surprise here? This happens in every Democrat controlled state and municipality. Nothing more than a jobs program for the connected and unemployable. When a pooper scooper makes $183,000 a year in SF, do you really think that problem will be solved (and unemployee that gig?) Good luck there. Now the citizens in Hawaii wants this or they would change it. I took my family to Hawaii in 1984, did the tourist thing and will never go back. I was sort of claustrophobic hemmed in on those islands.

Fred Ciampi said...

And speaking of hurricanes;

Today marks the fifty eighth anniversary of my entering boot camp. Back then we didn't have yellow painted footprints to stand on. We were just told where to stand and if we didn't do it right we heard about it. That's the day I learned that I could do a million pushups, 12,000 situps, 57,000 pullups , run 700 miles carrying 500 pounds, standing in the hot San Diego sun for 4 straight days without batting an eye or moving, and becoming the best physical specimen on the planet.

Soon I would become a Marine.
Semper Fi .................

Geoff King said...

Hawaii - one of the five states I have never seen and one of the two states I don't care to ever see (the other being North Dakota because I have seen South Dakota, Montana, and Nebraska so I don't think I am missing much).
Hawaii may have been interesting 100 years ago, but now is way to built up, expensive, and the natives hate white people. If I want tropical I will travel to Costa Rica, Belize, or one of the Carribean islands.

Anonymous said...

Well, Geoff, we in ND don't really care if you don't show up to see spectacular sunsets, even better sunrises, clean air and the most friendly people anywhere. We won't pick your pocket, we have better things to do. Low crime, a place to raise children who have respect for their elders is what we value. Too bad for you if you're not interested.

American Cowboy said...

@Bill Walker said - " for shelter, just hide behind her butt."

no...No...NOOO...The risk of hurricane wind damage is enough un-sheltered without adding the risk of an ill wind of flatulence from the butt of Orca.

John the Econ said...

I have a handful of friends living in Hawaii who are currently hunkered down. They're all quite wealthy, (as one needs to be in order to fully appreciate just being there living anything resembling what would otherwise be a nominal middle-class-like existence) so dependence on government services is pretty far down on their list of concerns or expectations. The real lesson here is that people who find themselves dependent upon government competence are ultimately screwed.

Of course, should the worst-case-scenario happen and the government response is a predictable cluster, it will be Trumps fault, and the only acceptable solution will be to spend even more money on more incompetence to be administered by the very same people.

For example, news from another high-cost Progressive-run locale:

Street housekeeping keeps SF Mayor Breed — and everyone else — hopping

"...the poop patrolers earn $71,760 a year, which swells to $184,678 with mandated benefits.

Because the Progressives of San Francisco have promulgated an environment favorable to feral humans, they are now paying $184,678 each for people to scoop up human poop, needles, and other detritus. (My only question is if it requires a $120,000 4-year degree to qualify for that job)

Good luck denizens of Hawaii, and here's to hoping you don't need to depend on the government you've voted for for your very survival.

Clinton vs. Trump: Naturally, my Progressive friends are singing with glee over the possibility that Trump or his people may have paid off more women than just Stormy. One even was suffering from enough irony deficiency to mention Hillary's comments as though that was some sort of appeal to authority!

And as I am pretty sure everyone here will agree, this will have no effect on anything what-so-ever. As I've been saying for the last two years, there would have been no POTUS Donald Trump had there not been a Clinton to pave the way. By going all-in to save Bill Clinton 20 years ago, Democrats ceded all moral authority and capital on what constituted ethical standards for the highest office in the land. Short of trysts with underage boys, there's little that Trump can do (or has done) that could possibly give Democrats the leverage they need to destroy his Presidency. The Clintons inoculated Trump.

(BTW, now that Progressives have established their foothold normalizing sexualites beyond gay, lesbian, and trans, they're now moving on to pedophilia, so soon they won't even be able to use that against creepy Republicans anymore)

Bruce Bleu said...

Because of its locale I think it should be "Hurrisugarcane Lane", and does Busty have a sister in Hawaii... hubba hubba.
As far as democraps in Hawaii... I "heard" that Turd Kennedy went there and tried to learn the language. He'd say "kana wanna huna" and "kamman I wanna lei ya".

Fritzchen said...

Re Hawaii: I love their "loco moco" buy ya gotta be "muy loco" to live there!
Re Hellery: Avoid all invites to Fort Marcy Park!

Dan said...

Was stationed at Schofield Barracks twenty-some years ago. I really liked Hawaii, but the politics and victimhood mentality of much of the population was saddening. Several of my fellow Soldiers referred to it as a third-world country that just happened to be a state.

Buying a house was way too expensive there even then. And much of the real estate wasn't fee simple. You didn't own the land, just the house & structures. The land was a 99-year lease or some such. I remember driving through some residential neighborhoods near Diamond Head (which, by the way, has a National Guard camp in the crater and emplacements on the seaward [makai] side). There were still a few regular houses, but the rest looked like you could only afford them if you were a drug lord or robber baron.

No doubt "native Hawaiians" have gotten the shaft, but they've been voting in the crooks forever.

Would love to have the money to retire there, but I'd need to have enough to not only afford to *live* there, but be immunized from all the political follies.

Fred Ciampi said...

I don't know if they still do but when I was in Hawaii 57 years' ago they had the H.A.S.P. The Hawaiian Armed Service Police. Their job was to harass service personnel, fine the shit out of them for the smallest infraction, and play favoritism to the 'natives' in every case. I think it was the State's way of thanking the thousands of military for the sacrifices given during WWII. Oh, and the Marine Air Base at Kaneohe Bay still had holes in the aircraft hangers. They're probably fixed by now.

Fish Out of Water said...

@anonymous: Perhaps all of what you say is true, but somehow the thought of having to wear an overcoat of some kind outside for 8 1/2 months out of the year just isn't all that appealing.

Colby Muenster said...

It really is a bad thing happening to Hawaii, but shame on the useless gubmint there for having their heads so far up their bungers. Thinking you live in Utopia don't make it so, morons. You are a bunch of small islands in the middle of the largest ocean on Earth. Did you think you could escape a bad storm by bussing people to a safer state inland?

@'John the Econ said, "My only question is if it requires a $120,000 4-year degree to qualify for that job." Maybe all those moonbats with "African Studies" degrees can finally get a job!

The Clintons / Manafort / Cohen... The progressives are licking their chops in anticipation of finally taking down Trump! Paying people to keep their mouths shut is no more illegal than "collusion" with a foreign entity. There is no such thing as a crime of "collusion." I hate to tell the progressives this, but nothing they are trying to make hay of is impeachable.

Lee The Voice said...

It would be interesting to see the interaction between the hurricane and the volcano.

Judi King said...

People who depend on the "government" for help or livelihood deserve what they've voted for.
A more inept organization doesn't exist.

Shelly said...

We learned from Katrina in New Orleans that the poor schlubs dependent on government were the hardest hit as they expected to be rescued by their overlords while the self-sufficient people got the hell out of Dodge. Unfortunately, that is not an option in Hawaii. They're sitting in the middle of that vast sea and there's nowhere to go except by air to the mainland. Unfortunately, they will keep reelecting the overlords who only do just enough to keep them on the plantation. Sad. I hope Mother Nature spares their souls.

As far as the Clintons go, I'm convinced those wretches made a deal with the devil. There's no other explanation for how they have managed to skate on all their crimes while also maintaining huge political power and amassing a fortune. I despair of ever seeing them brought to justice, in this life anyway. If there is a God, they will pay in the afterlife. I would love for them to burn in hell for eternity. Too harsh? I don't think so.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Velveeta Processed Cheese Food- By now, we know the Clintons are capable of neither.

@Bill Walker- Not only could Oprah shelter everyone, she could also give them *A NEW CAR!!!*

And I didn't want to lengthen things too much today talking about Barry's (ahem) "birth certificate," but Hawaii's then-Governor Abernathy declared that he didn't think the birth certificate could ever be found. Then magically, one woman in the records bureau found it, sent a copy to the White House, and then returned it into hiding without showing anyone else. Not long afterwards she became the only fatality in a plane crash with multiple passengers on board.

@Rod- Barry didn't really organize doodly-squat in Hawaii. He was too busy doing drugs with his "choom gang."

@LCDR M(Ret)- I imagine you've got a lot of stories to tell. And thank you for your service, sir!

@REM1875- A good example of socialism in Hawaii: it is the #1 state in the country for having "access to healthcare." Sounds good, right? But it seems "access to healthcare" was defined as having any kind of insurance, including poverty programs like Medicaid. As a result, there's been a stampede of doctors leaving Hawaii. So they're #1 in "access to healthcare" but there aren't many doctors to see.

@Bobo the Hobo- It looks like Oahu is going to dodge the bullet, which is a good thing, but I doubt anything will have been learned from this near miss. Quite the contrary, there will be backslapping and bonuses because "we must be doing som'ting right!"

@Fish Out of Water- Yes, Hawaii is very solidly a Democrat state.

@James Daily- Waitaminnit! You got less interested in Annette when you saw her in a swimsuit...?! Oh well, I'm not here to judge (grin). And you're right that the citizens of Hawaii are to blame for the abysmal services and bureaucracies. I swear, when you're out there it's like being surrounded by mellow pod people. And the claustrophobia you mention is called "island fever" and is a real thing. It's weird to be on an island and realize that there's no way off without a jet or boat.

@Fred Ciampi- Happy anniversary and Semper Fi, sir!

@Anonymous- Dang, now I want to visit North Dakota (grin).

@American Cowboy- Plus, the clapping sound would drive you crazy.

@John the Econ- You're right; as is always the case, the wealthy will do fine while those who depend on government services will eventually get screwed.

The salaries of poop patrollers is is the fact that San Francisco has declined to the point where they even need such people. If someone would like to explain to me how this isn't society breaking down, I'm all ears. Which is a good thing, as I don't want my nose anywhere around SF.

And I agree with your points about Clinton/Trump, but I'm still not sure that The Donald won't be at risk from the assault by corrupt "Justice" officials and the unified, hateful front from the media.

@Bruce Bleu- If Ted Kennedy visited Hawaii, it was only because he wanted to make sure all the women he was screwing knew how to swim.

@Fritz Brohn- I agree on both points!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Dan- You clearly know what you're talking about. I think it was only recently (well, 20 years ago?) that people could actually BUY the lot their house sat on, instead of just renting the space from the wealthy families who were given title to the land after we pretty much invaded Hawaii at gunpoint and got rid of their monarchy. Native Hawaiians have considerable reason not to be happy with how all that worked out.

And you're right that the only way to enjoy retirement out there is to have enough money to insulate you from the day to day affronts.

@Fred Ciampi- Wow, I hadn't heard about the HASP. Interesting stuff!

@Fish Out of Water- Yeah, but what if that overcoat is a really cool looking duster?

@Colby Muenster- In Oahu, the busses were going to be running to take people to the unsafe shelters. Which doesn't seem like it was really doing anyone any favors...

And you're right about people still treating "collusion" as if it's some kind of crime. "Conspiracy to commit collusion" is an even more imaginary offense, even though slimebag lawyer Lanny Davis is throwing the term around and causing the Leftist media to have eye-rolling ecstasy.

@Lee The Voice- I can imagine that being awesome, but I saw something online that suggested the reality of being present for a clash between an active volcano and a hurricane would be, predictably, an impenetrable cloud of steam.

@Judi King- I can't disagree with that!

@Shelly- It really does seem like the candidates who are likely to win in Hawaii are those who promise to give away the most "stuff."

And although I tend not to be a theological type, I have wondered about the Clintons making a deal with the Devil. Their ability to cheat justice seems nothing short of supernatural.

Valvenator said...

@Stilton Jarlsberg...
Per your comment about the woman that magically found Barry's (ahem) "birth certificate," but not long afterwards she became the only fatality in a plane crash with multiple passengers on board."

Was she the first person ever to die in a plane crash from three bullets to the head?...just askin'

Dave from New London WI said...

In NE North Dakota, there is a gorge in Pembina County. It is deep enough to have a ski resort on one side. And nice golf course on the other hillside. My brother just took me there at the end of July. He took us to an overlook. I could see a river meandering far below in the valley. Beautiful sight.

Anonymous said...

Fish Out of Water: 8 1/2 months of overcoat is more like maybe 3 months in ND. Wearing a coat is a small price to pay for having four distinct seasons to enjoy. Spring brings untrampled wild flowers, Summer provides bountiful crops and gardens, Fall gives us gorgeous colors in the forests and time to let us catch our breath. Winter here provides a blanket of snow that insulates Mother Earth and sparkles like diamonds. Plus, we only lock our cars to keep people from putting surplus zucchini in the back seat! Try North Dakota but go home when you're done, if ever.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@valenator- I think that particular honor went to Ron Brown.

@Dave from New London WI- Wow, that sounds really nice. Particularly since we're still flirting with 100 degree temperatures here in north Texas.

@Anonymous- I'm enjoying all the testimonials for North Dakota! It almost makes me want to give up my barnacle-like ways and do some traveling!

Maoz said...

Fred, why do you call HASP the State's way of thanking service members ...? HASP was/is part of the US military, staffed by Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine, and Coast Guard personnel, not by HPD. You might better have said it was Uncle Sam's way of thanking service members. FWIW, I also served a couple of stints on Oahu (Regular Army) and never had a run in with HASP. If a GI kept his nose clean....
(BTW, Stilt, the gov's name was Abercrombie, not Abernathy.)

Unknown said...

STILTON!! What happened to 'Hope and Change'???? It pops up, and then is forwarded to a place filling page for widgets-whatever. I use your blog there all the time to reference history during the 8 years of the Obama train-wreck, and in my opinion, the whole blog should be in the Congressional Library of U.S. History! What's going on with it??

Rod said...

@Stilton: I just found the same jump to widget server which "Unknown" mentions above when trying to going to Johnny Optimism. It went to Johnny then quickly jumped to this site:

However my internet security did not alarm on it.

MAX Redline said...

Yeah, that widget-server thing popped up on my blog a few weeks ago, and none of my security caught the malware. I had to go in and remove it myself. That was a lot of fun.

It hijacked a sidebar widget that used to display the increasing national debt, and redirected users from my page to their ad-page. Once I figured out which widget it was and removed it, the issue went away.

Geoff King said...

Well, John McCain just died. I could say it is about time, but I won't - out of lack of caring.

Rod said...

Well, that's another full-fledged Trump opponent gone.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Maoz- Dammit! I knew the Governor's name was Abercrombie, and my typing fingers went rogue on me. Thanks for the correction!

@Unknown, Rod, and MAX Redline- Thanks for the heads-up! I think I've cleared up the problem (and if I haven't, please let me know!). I think the problem was fairly benign and not malware. Rather, there are some little boxes of text and graphics in the sidebars on those sites, and I think the company that fed content to them went belly up. So when you'd visit my site, it would try to load something from the (surprise!) widgetserver and, not finding content, forward you to their idiot website.

Sorry for any inconvenience - and glad that people are still looking at the old Hope n' Change website. Unsurprisingly, I think it should be preserved as a national resource, too!

@Geoff King- I have mixed feelings about McCain's passing, but don't really have anything to say.

@Rod- Well that's true enough.

james daily said...

"I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure."
Mark Twain. I concur.

Barbara said...

You guys are 'the bomb'. I'm going to bed, smiling.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@James Daily- That's a pretty good quote for this occasion. I won't condemn the man but I'm pleased he's no longer a player.

@Barbara- It is a fun little group here, isn't it?

Rod said...

I have been fairly neutral about McCain III; but had also forgotten about his early-morning, deciding-vote, thumb-down Hollywooding when he sided with Democrats to defeat the Trump & Republican attempt to repeal "Obamacare" law. Several reasons for that vote are suspected and they're not commendable. I'm fully with Mark Twain; & now there's even more TV BS to avoid.
Term limits starting a long time ago would have addressed all this.

james daily said...

After contemplation, especially since President Trump will not attend the planting, I hope he goes to FL and plays golf. What a brouhaha that would be and 64 Million supporters would sing and shout and dance about, while imbibing of course. George Bush and Obama are giving eulogies? Oh, yea I forgot they were attached at the hip pockets.