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Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Torch Bearer

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, notre dame, fire, hillary clinton, arson, south bend, buttigieg

When an important icon of western civilization goes up in flames, as the Notre Dame cathedral in Paris did on Monday, experts tell us that the best way to cope with our collective grief is to make tasteless jokes about it. And by "experts," we mean the craftsmen who distill Clan MacGregor scotch.

We don't, of course, find anything remotely funny about the Notre Dame blaze...although we do find it "funny" that French authorities issued a report saying that the inferno couldn't possibly have been caused by arson or, God forbid, terrorism...even before launching a real investigation. Presumably, that report must have been authored by the French equivalent of James Comey, who is unclear about the proper sequencing of investigations, conclusions, and exonerations (at least, when there's a political agenda involved).

Fortunately, a lot of the great cathedral survived the flames, and donations are pouring in to rebuild the structure, perhaps with some important updated features which better reflect modern France, like state-of-the-art fire extinguishing systems, broadband wi-fi, and minarets.

BONUS: SOMETHING'S BERNING...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, fox news, town hall, bernie sanders, millionaire, hypocrisy

In a special Fox News town hall meeting, Democrat front runner (and yes, we're stunned to be writing those words) Bernie Sanders got a chance to air his bombastic socialist talking points. Oddly, the event was treated seriously by Fox News, who are said to be trying to arrange another town hall with Democrat wunderkind "Mayor Pete" Buttigieg, whose name we can neither pronounce nor say with a straight face. It is unknown if similar events will be planned for the other 93 currently named Democrat candidates for president.

For us, the highlight of the town hall came when it was pointed out that his bestselling book has made Bernie a multi-millionaire (presumably an evil one, since there's no other kind) who could voluntarily pay the higher taxes he deems a "fair share" versus the far lower taxes established by Donald Trump. So has he done that?

Bernie hemmed and hawed, but eventually admitted he hasn't voluntarily paid an extra cent in taxes in the name of fairness or eliminating income inequality. After which he started babbling about why the American Dream isn't about the freedom to make great wealth, but is rather about getting free healthcare, a free education, and "when (people) turn on the water, have drinkable water and not toxic water."

Presumably, Mr. Sanders' next bestselling book will be about hydration and hypocrisy.

35 comments:

Rehnad Kcin said...

Still at a loss for a reason why the 'beast isn't room temp yet. As many enemies as she's made during her career, one must wonder. My idea would be to reverse the polarity on her DieHard battery recharger since high velocity lead projectiles have no effect on her.
Bernie, it's time for your meds, so sit your ass down. And, I'd be glad to pull your finger. Hope your Depends are up to it.
Lastly, Buttigieg, who putts from the rough, needs to realize that the 'beast has her eye on you. Don't be walking home alone late at night or you might suffer from Jussie Smollett syndrome....

Jim Irre said...

Bernie is the front-runner? Why you might ask? Simple - Hillary isn't running. Bernie must be soiling his depends right now thinking he actually has a chance. Hey Bern, the only chance you have is if you turn into a snowball. I could get giddy thinking about Trump v Sanders debates!

Fish Out of Water said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fish Out of Water said...

Much, very much can (is yet to) happen on the road to the liberal-fascist convention next year. The first one now may later be last. Ed Muskie, "I can't keep my zipper closed' Senator Hart, .....

james daily said...

Leave it to the French to wave the white flag. 875 churches were vandalized and desecrated last year in France but they do not see a pattern, oh yea, 59 cemeteries 129 thefts, down from down from 1059 acts of vandalism last year. Anyway you cut it, that is about 2000 felonies committed against the church and they haven't caught but one person, and that was a gal who left a car of propane tanks near ND but ND was not an act of terrorism because someone said so.
On Bernie, he is a joke. Him speak with forked tongue. It's still amazing that he is a socialist, using the capitalist system as it should be used but hates it? Hypocrite.Then his socialist wife bankrupted Burlington College which has now closed. Do not forget he will be 80 years old before the election. The gift that keeps on giving.

Kerry Soileau said...

"updated features which better reflect modern France, like state-of-the-art fire extinguishing systems, broadband wi-fi, and minarets."

Kerry Soileau said...

----- spits coffee -----

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

ND: While I'm a fan of Hanlon's Razor ("Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity"), one still has to wonder... And it's true that getting decent minions is getting more and more difficult.

Bernie: Is it any coincidence that his initials are BS?

Fred Ciampi said...

Terrorism? How dare that it even come up. Harrumph! I'm waiting with baited breath for some nice folks to claim responsibility. One would think that lessons would have been learned from the Great Ship Normandy. (You have to be really old and be a student of history to understand the reference.)

And, I would buy a ticket to see a Trump/Sanders debate.

txchef said...

Some pundits predict that Buttigieg will come from behind.

Sortahwitte said...

@txchef
That was just too easy. However I've always been easy.

Igor said...

I see that the French have managed to scrape up quite a bit of donations to rebuild Notre Dame. Good on 'em! Inspector Clouseau notwithstanding, I'm sure they'll fine areasonable explanation as to the origin of the fire. For values of "reasonable".

As for Mayor Buttplug, @txchef, you will be right. And wrong, politically.

@Rehnad Kcin, Satan watches over his own. When he's finished with them, they're thrown down like a cheap kleenex.

@Fred Ciampi, the French are a little slow, sometimes...

TrickyRicky said...

I hate to throw cold water on the theory that Notre Dame will be rebuilt (see what I did there). The muslim population in France is pretty much already at the tipping point. They really don't have to burn down future mosques to advance their ugly agenda. Demographics will do that. By the time the idiocracy run by Macron could possibly raise the money, draw the plans, and start reconstruction, the minarets WILL be part of the blueprints, so what is the point?

Regarding the socialist bore from Vermont....pass the popcorn!!

Fritzchen said...

Bernie Sanders new mantra: "The greedy richer than me"

Rod said...

Quicker to surrender. Stubborn, arrogant & slow on most other things. Maybe that's lazy more than slow. They DID have some pretty impressive scientists, inventors, artists, builders, aviators. Administrators; hardly. And I don't know where the women got their crappy attitudes; the world is full of good-looking women, and the food sucks. I don't want mini-art on a plate with some weird sauce... gimme something to eat.

rickn8or said...

So Bernie released his income tax filing... and no one cared. I predict this will be the next progressive's virtue-signaling fad, and will turn out much like The Great Loyalty Oath signing campaign in Catch-22.

I wonder if these publishing houses actually print all those books that authors like Bernie "sell" and when the lid will come off this money-laundering scheme.

I'm thinking TPTB in the Dem party are going to let Bernie think he's got a chance, all the way up to the convention, when they foist Kamala (or Moochelle) off on the party faithful. "Ooh! You almost had it this time!"

And finally, if Bernie's talking about about "toxic water", is he talking about what they have in Democratic strongholds like Flint?

Anonymous said...

I understand Macron now says ND should be built back as a multi-religious facility, open to all religions! Hmmm... What a great idea to placate certain groups. I don't think they can be placated, one of the groups has completed their conquest. We'll see if the catholic church gives ND away.

BWMAGA said...

Interesting your comment about "Minarets" for the rebuild. When it was still burning that was my first thought too. Then last night heard on some news report that they are already talking about rebuilding to reflect the "New" France. I've already laid out some bets that the new structure will be a Mosque. You want some of that action?

Anonymous said...

Now, if Bernie gave paid 90% of his income in taxes and made his vacation home and mansion into free housing for poor immigrants, MAYBE I'd believe that he isn't a hypocrite. Otherwise, please shut up, Bernie. I'm not drinking your Kool-Aid.

Geoff King said...

Upon reading the history of Notre Dame, I found it interesting that during renovation work in the 1990's they added electrical wires on the roof to shock pigeons off.
Hmmmm, bare wires exposed to the elements for almost 30 years? Ya suppose maybe that could be a fire hazard?

Anonymous said...

Wonder of Kiliary is going to throw her hat in at the last minute and sit back and watch the shitstorm happen.

Shelly said...

I saw a little song about how to pronounce Mayor Pete's last name. It is Boot Edge Edge. What I find so amusing is how the media have dropped Beto now that they have a shiny new toy to promote. This is especially true since Beto's tax returns reflected he's a hoarder of wealth who doesn't give to charity. In fact, he actually said serving in Congress and running for higher office was tantamount to charity. Can't make this stuff up!

Colby Muenster said...

Anonymous said...
"I understand Macron now says ND should be built back as a multi-religious facility, open to all religions!"

Great idea! They can rename it "The Notre Dame Coexist Happy Place." This will FINALLY placate the radical Islamists, right?

John the Econ said...

Heck, the "French authorities" (I always giggle when I hear that) declared that it wasn't terrorism before the first fire brigade had even shown up. Considering the pace in which traditional Europe has been under attack recently, we are certainly right to be skeptical.

Speaking of Buttigieg: Clearly he's the current Democratic flavor of the month, literally shoving last month's flavor, Beto, totally off the pages. Other than the fact that he's gay, I don't see the appeal to Democrats. He his supposed success as mayor of South Bend is a nothingburger. South Bend is quite similar to my college town in that since heavy industry left between the '60s and '80s, the economy is now driven by the university, which means mainly low-paying service jobs of serving lattes or pouring craft beers for the rich kids.

His main attraction to the Democrat establishment is that he's not Bernie. Now that the Mueller investigation has flamed out, the establishment Democrats know that they're going to need more than "not Trump" as a platform, and Bernie's socialism in the midst of a recovered economy is not the sell it might have been 4 years ago. Also remember that they don't have the superdelegates to knock Bernie out this time.

Speaking of the Bern:

To fix a rigged economy, you demand that the top one percent and large corporations pay their fair share in taxes.

And how did he get to be a 1%-er? As he told the New York Times:

“I wrote a best-selling book,” he declared. “If you write a best-selling book, you can be a millionaire, too.”

It's so simple. I should try that!

Of course, that won't work for me because I'm not a US Senator. He sounds a lot like the guy who wrote a book titled "How to Make a Million Writing a Book" and on the first page, it said "Write a book and sell them to a million suckers for a dollar each."

One of the most disgusting aspects of Progressivism is its constant attack on everything that is great about America; the prime reason that half of the world's population wants to escape their Progressive hell-holes to come here. Becoming slaves to the state is not the dream real Americans have.

David in SoCal said...

When asked about it's opinion on the Notre Dame Cathedral fire; AOC airheadedly said: "It's so sad Notre Dame burned down!!...It's like: What will the football team do now??". ;-)
In other sarcastic news; reports are coming in that French citizens were actually the first to try and put out the Cathedral flames; but trying to extinguish them with their white flags actually fanned them..........

Beans said...

I am still waiting for the former irish-american first lady from Chigago, Michaella O'Bama (Hey, if 'Beto' O'Roarke can do it...) to toss her/his/its hat in the ring. After all, her/his/its biography has outsold everyone else's...

I think I'll go clean my brain with some Draino now for even contemplating such a horror, truly one of the seven seals, right?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Regnad Kcin- I think Hillary struck a deal with Beelzebub, and no one is collecting her until he's got her spot all warmed up and ready for her. And yeah, I really wasn't entirely kidding when I suggested Hillary might start pushing people out of the race from behind the scenes.

@Jim Irre- A small correction: Hillary isn't running yet. She's setting herself up to be drafted - mark my words. And a Trump - Sanders debate would be amazing, passionate, and largely irrational. Popcorn will be mandatory!

@Fish Out of Water- Yep, WAY too early to get a good read on what may or may not happen.

@james daily- I didn't like people immediately assuming the fire at Notre Dame was an act of Muslim terror, but neither did I like the "official" declarations that it couldn't possibly be the case...even though no investigators had entered the premises yet. Regarding Bernie, he's made out awfully damned well for a socialist, with his wealth, 3 houses, and his family's flirtation (at the very least) with financial fraud and abuse.

@Kerry Soileau- Yeah, I enjoyed sneaking that in...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- I genuinely believe that Hanlon's Razor explains most of what goes on in the world. INCLUDING the candidacy of BS.

@Fred Ciampi- I'm pretty sure that "lessons learned from history" aren't really much a thing anymore, darn it. And speaking of buying a ticket for a Trump/Sanders debate, what do you want to bet that Trump is the one who'd say to let people in for free, while Bernie would be actively selling (and scalping) tickets?

@txchef- Well, who would know better than poll watchers?

@Sortahwitte- In the words of AOC, "Ain't nuttin' wrong wif dat."

@Igor- I can't work up much emotion about Notre Dame. It's a wonderful and historic building, there was a fire, and it will be rebuilt. I have better places to invest my angst.

@TrickyRicky- I'm afraid you're right: the demographic war is already over. So when Notre Dame is rebuilt, it may not be iconic as much as ironic.

@Fritzchen- Yeah the EVIL rich instead of the NICE (but still stingy) rich.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Rod- I've never had a strong urge to see France, and now I have none whatsoever (with the exception that it would be moving and meaningful to me to see where various WWII battles were fought).

@rickn8or- Indeed, who the hell cares about Bernie's tax returns? And for that matter, what business is it of ours what's in Donald Trump's returns? There is already a HUGE governmental agency tasked with reviewing such returns and looking for improprieties. Until Bernie states categorically that "big government" can't handle jobs as simple as that, then he has nothing more to add to the conversation. And of course, if he DOES admit "big government" ineptitude, well, that's a whole different conversation, isn't it?

@Anonymous- I hadn't heard the "multi-religious facility" idea, though it sounds odious enough to be true. Why not just make it an entirely secular tourist attraction just to be less hypocritical?

@BWMAGA- Even when I'm kidding I'm usually not kidding. So I'm not betting against the idea that Notre Dame may eventually be a mosque.

@Anonymous- Exactly. Bernie has proposed that giving a huge "fair share" is a moral obligation...so why would he wait until it becomes mandatory law (which, by the way, removes "morality" from the equation entirely)? Bernie is the worst kind of hypocrite.

@Geoff King- Interesting angle. And what if, and I'm only offering this as a question, what if Muslims have been feeding gunpowder to the pigeons to make their poop highly flammable...?

@Anonymous- As long as Hillary is above ground, I think it's fair to assume she's running for president. I think her plan right now is to let the other 20 or 30 candidates knock the hell out of each other so she can sweep in at the last minute.

@Shelly- Beto is pretty much toast at this point. His whole "I'm Irish but identify as Mexican" thing was weird (cultural appropriation much?) and his lack of substance makes him irrelevant in comparison to an openly gay man who actually has some military experience. I don't see Buttigieg going the distance, though - too much homophobia in certain Dem demographic groups for him to really get traction.

@Colby Muenster- Yep, everyone will be happy and peaceful then. Count on it...

@John the Econ- I'm against jumping to conclusions, but I'm also against jumping to exclusions of possible causes before an investigation has taken place. But then, this is a place where women who are raped by immigrants have the cases buried by the police, government, and media.

Regarding Buttigieg, I don't understand his candidacy at all. He seems like a nice enough guy, and probably a good fit for South Bend, Indiana (where I have family). But his higher aspirations (and no, that wasn't a deliberate pun) just seem silly. You're right that his main charm is being "not Bernie," not to mention that he has less chance of keeling over during tough campaigning. I would, however, suggest that he not incorporate the progressive slogan "lean forward" in his political efforts.

@David in SoCal- I'm pretty sure both of those things you're reporting are actual facts...

@Beans- Michelle is still a factor to be reckoned with. Because we're all living in Bizarro World now.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

READERS- An early warning that I won't be posting on Friday, owing to some personal chores I need to attend to. There may, however, be a picture of a strong, independent young woman wearing a liberating swimsuit to show that she can not and will not be constrained by the contemporary mores of a paternalistic society. Because damn it, that's the kind of thing I think we should all support!

merlin1246 said...

Who could have predicted that the 1990 flick, "Paris is Burning" (about drag queens) would be a precursor to the conflagration
at Notre Dame Cathedral.

Dan said...

Look at Hagia Sophia. First a cathedral, then a mosque, now a museum (Ayasofya Müzesi according to Wikipedia).

Notre Dame Cathedral just might become Le Musée de Notre Dame.

What was the roofing contractor? Mo and Wives Construction?

John the Econ said...

@Dan said "First a cathedral, then a mosque, now a museum."

And perhaps back to a mosque again:

Erdogan says museum and former cathedral Hagia Sophia could become a mosque again

The Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdogan has pledged to revert the 6th century Hagia Sophia, once an important Greek Orthodox Christian cathedral, into a mosque from its current status as a museum. The move is seen as an effort to rally his conservative base ahead of local elections on 31 March. It has been a museum for almost 85 years, which is widely regarded as a compromise between Christians and Muslims who both claim the space as hallowed ground.

Unfortunately for Erdogan, this wasn't enough for him to totally carry the election. But give it time.

Notre Dame, like most of the remaining cathedrals in Europe have been more museums than places of worship for decades now. As I've pointed out previously, demographic trends in Europe has seen to it that there are already far more people using Mosques as Mosques than there are people using cathedrals as cathedrals.

Fred Ciampi said...

And yesterday *gasp* a fellow was stopped carrying two (count 'em, two) plastic gasoline cans into Saint Patrick's Cathedral in New York. Said his car was out of gas and he was taking a shortcut through the cathedral. Hmmmmm, sounds like the truth.....

Judi King said...

@BWMAGA: No bet.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Bloody Vikings.