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Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Speechless

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, burlesque, ventriloquist, mueller

Our lips aren't moving today either, because nothing in the news really seemed fun to comment on. Trump and Biden calling each other names? AOC claiming that she (and other Representatives) needs a raise from her $174,000 annual salary to make corruption less tempting? A cobweb-covered John Dean testifying before Jerry "I've Got a Saline Drip Under My Coat" Nadler that Trump's alleged obstruction of justice is Watergate all over again? Nope, we ain't gonna do it.

But rather than leave you completely empty-handed, we decided to post the photo above which, we believe, is the earliest known image of Robert Mueller when he was still working in vaudeville.

As always, the comments section is open for intellectual discussions about the news of the day, world events, or what the heck kind of glue is used to stick roses on a lady's thermostats.

STOP THE PRESSES!

Okay, we weren't going to do a topical cartoon, but then this happened...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, biden, cure cancer, cancer, videogames, violence, gun control

While dozens of Democrat presidential wannabees are offering "everything free for everyone forever," Joe Biden has upped the ante by declaring that as president he will cure cancer. And, if elected for a second term, he will presumably raise the dead.

As campaign promises go, that's a whopper - and pretty hard to swallow considering that Joe thought Obamacare was a "big f*cking deal" because it would make health insurance dirt cheap and, if you liked your doctor, you could keep your doctor. That didn't happen, and a lot of patients who liked their oncologists weren't able to keep their oncologists.

And what is there in Biden's past that suggests he has the leadership and scientific acumen to cure cancer? Keep in mind that this is the same bumbling idiot who Obama gave the critically important job of combating violence in videogames...


Curing cancer should indeed be a national priority, and there's nothing wrong with a candidate saying that they'll increase research funding. But to actually promise a cure is an appalling attempt to take political advantage of those suffering with cancer as well as anyone who has lost friends and family members to this devastating illness. And that's all of us.

We suggest that Joe Biden spend time looking into a cure for shamelessness before setting his sights on loftier targets.

43 comments:

Jim Irre said...

Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat!

Brie Camembert said...

I'll go with the lady with the roses ( and just wait for fall)

Fish Out of Water said...

Ok, I never though I'd ever, ever be on the side of AOC, Biden or the likes of.

While my civics memory is a bit foggy, I do recall learning a portion of a House rep's office expenses have to be paid out of their salary. And while 174k may the an eye-popping figure elsewhere, its a bit 'meh' here in the greater DC metropolitan area.

What drives this is the huge cost of housing. With 174k, with a house in a desirable school district, and say 3 children, hopefully saving for their education (Yes, I know this doesn't apply to AOC), you'll get by, but you won't be taking yearly winter vacations to the Caribbean either.

As for Biden, while the boast on curing cancer is outlandish and buffoonish, let's keep in mind he lost his son to cancer and thus can I appreciate the passion.

Jason Anyone said...

"Our lips aren't moving today either, because nothing in the news really seemed fun to comment on. Trump and Biden calling each other names?"

What about Biden & BamBam? Although, as much as Joe would love to stick his hand up Barack's backside to get him to move his lips, he hasn't been able to convince Michelle to pull out long enough for him to get anywhere near BamBam's bumbum, so he's still doing the talking for both of them.

https://youtu.be/5FJOJCzJ3f4

Fish Out of Water said...

Comment/ridicule-worthy news story? How about the news the former community organizer and worst electoral mistake since the peanut farmer from Plains, Ga has prevailed over other Chicago community organizers and is now free to move forward with his post-der furherbunker school of architecture inspired library in Chicago's Jackson Park?

Mike Donohue said...

Do not forget that, as Vice President, Biden was the Administration’s point person for diplomacy within the Western Hemisphere. He worked to realize his vision of a Hemisphere that is “middle class, secure, and democratic, from Canada to Chile and everywhere in between.” In this capacity, Biden led the Administration’s regional efforts to address economic, social, governance, and citizen security challenges.
He had a special focus on the governments of El Salvador, Guatemala, and Honduras and created the Alliance for Prosperity Plan for the Northern Triangle of Central America and engaged with the U.S. Congress to secure $750 million of U.S. support for the region.
The success of his efforts have had the effect of reducing the number of illegal immigrants from this area to the current trickle. Oh, wait...

American Cowboy said...

I for one believe that BiteMe would try to follow through with his promise to "cure cancer" if he were elected.

If my memory serves, Thomas Browne said, "Death is the cure for all diseases."

And it was Ă˜bama that floated an idea in line with that quote when he suggested on national TV that the Democratic health care bill "will have government decide" that a healthy, 100-year-old woman in need of a pacemaker "should take a pain pill" instead.

All BiteMe is doing is taking his idols idea to the next logical step in a "back door" manner of speaking.

Mike Donohue said...

The facts from my earlier comment were taken directly from the Obama archives:
https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/vp#section-foreign-policy
That site will also show you that Biden has already been put in charge of curing cancer and has a 3 to 4 year start on the project. It has already been funded and I am sure they will hold off announcing the cure until just before the election. It is not enough to keep him busy though. This renaissance man has been able to run for president in his spare time.
Thank God that we have such selfless geniuses devoting their lives to government service. That service reduces them all to paupers by the time they finally leave office with no savings and pitiful pensions.

Boligat said...

@Fish

One way to solve the housing cost problem for representatives and senators would be to provide housing for them. We already do that for the President. I suggest that we close down the Department of Education and then turn their current headquarters (https://www.gsa.gov/real-estate/gsa-properties/visiting-public-buildings/lyndon-baines-johnson-department-of-education-building) into a giant dorm with equal sized cubicles/cells for each member of congress. Their families stay at home while they are in session in D.C.. House them, feed them, keep them in the dorm throughout their session. Make them live together and work together 'til they get their work done and then send them home. Much cheaper. Even cheaper would be to build them new quarters in western Kansas and prohibit lobbyists to even have access to them.

BTW, if you look at the image I provided, you will see a note that says that the LBJ Education Building is NOT open to the public. Can't have the riffraff anywhere close to the mandarins that are plotting what to do to their children.

The Italian Meat Sauce said...

If this misfit had any concerns for Beau, his dead son, he would be honoring his request not to run for potus. According to Uncle Joe, that was the reason that he couldn't run in 2016. He would also ask his other son, Hunter, to not have sex with his dead brother Beau's widow.

Geoff King said...

Since a representative only works an average of 138 days a year, that $174,000 works out to over $1260 a day.
If they want more money, perhaps they should actually work more. I've often thought that a time clock should be installed in the Capitol Building.

TrickyRicky said...

It's all too much for me. I think I will concentrate on adhesive puzzle.

Navyvet said...

AOC is, as usual, full of ... ah ..... Biden. Those politicians don't care one whit about the "salary" as nearly all of them would spend anything, promise anything, or kill anyone in the way, to get to Washingmoney where they pocket tens of millions in bribes and kickbacks every year.

Kent Whitehead said...

A ventriloquist AND a jiggler! This woman has talent!

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

What I wanna know: Is there a cure for Joe Biden?

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

As for the adhesive, well, that's why they're called "pasties". :D

Walter L. Stafford said...

This idiot has been touched by cancer with the death of his son, yet he decides to utter something impossible in a short period of time. Progress has been made, medicines made and huge profits gained by Big Pharma.
One only has to witness the suffering of a loved one, friend or anyone suffering from this dreaded disease that presents itself in so many forms! I have and lost my wife 4 years ago!

Biden the imbecilic candidate and snake oil salesman!

John the Econ said...

That's cute. AOC isn't even there 6 months and is already demanding a raise. Actually, considering the work she's done to get Trump re-elected, I think she actually deserves it!

CNN resurrects John Dean as an authority figure?

And it's not "Watergate all over again". It's worse, and was conducted by the Obama Administration.

Curing Cancer: Actually, I have to give Biden some credit. Not for sanity, of course, but for proposing something that isn't a simple vote buying scheme for the greedy and selfish like "Gimme free health care" or "Pay for my college/student loans".

The only cancer that a President has any credibility curing is the "swamp" or "deep state". And even then, I don't think that's possible either.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Jim Irre- That ain't a rabbit and that wasn't Joe's hat...

@Brie Camembert- I would so like to see her whole act. And she could probably wear that outfit on prime time TV these days. I was going to say "family hour," but I don't think that's existed for decades.

@Fish Out of Water- I appreciate the fact that $174k doesn't go as far in DC as it might other places (although Representatives get up to 239 days off a year, get their health insurance subsidized, and a $1.2 million allowance for professional use), but I think AOC is being stupid when she suggests that a $4500 raise will make the difference between whether or not a Congressperson starts indulging in corruption. That's not a fiscal decision, it's a moral one. To be fair, I might be open to a range of salaries based on family size to better compensate those who need more. In fact, maybe AOC can kick in some of her money since she's not supporting a family or raising kids.

Regarding Biden, I understand and sympathize with his feelings about cancer, and I actually like his determination to fight it. But when he essentially promises a cure and ties it to his election, that's just going too far.

@Jason Anyone- I don't know if Barry doesn't want anything to do with Biden now that he doesn't HAVE to fraternize with him, or if Joe is avoiding Barry because he expects the former president to be looking at jail time by November of next year.

@Fish Out of Water- I actually hope to visit Obama's Chicago-based Taj Mahal sometime in the future when I have a very full bladder.

@Mike Donohue- Based on the facts you cite, Biden can run on the slogan "I Made a Difference," and most people will have no idea that it was for the worse.

@American Cowboy- Obama's declaration that the government should be giving pain pills instead of pacemakers is indelibly burned in my memory, because it so transparently revealed his agenda: if it's cheaper to drug someone than save their life, that's what the government will do. And Biden was part of the administration that effed up our healthcare system enough that a lot of cancer patients lost access to treatments and preferred oncologists. Until he apologizes for that, I don't give a flying flip what he promises for the future.

@Mike Donohue- Yes, cancer was one of the things assigned to Joe's "laser-like focus" during the Obama years. Maybe if Joe had convinced Barry to give 10% of the "shovel ready" stimulus fund to researchers, cancer would already be cured.

@Boligat- I love the idea of dorms for our elected representatives. If they lived like peasants instead of royalty, maybe we'd get more realistic legislation.

@The Italian Meat Sauce- I've got to admit that banging your dead brother's widow is pretty tacky, as is getting thrown out of the military for drug use. What the hell kind of upbringing did Biden give his son?

@Geoff King- I think the time clock is a great idea.

@Gorgon Zola- Yes, but his nipples have been redacted.

@TrickyRicky- "First, let's try saliva..."

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Navyvet- Yep. Like I said, corruption isn't a fiscal question, it's a moral one. Which is why Nancy Pelosi is as rich as Croesus.

@Kent Whitehead- The big finish to her act also incorporates sparklers, singing, and the clash of knee cymbals. They're not making stars like that anymore.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- I think the cure for Joe Biden is already in the White House. And they're called "pasties?!" I thought they were pastries!

@Walter L. Stafford- My very sincere condolences in the loss of your wife. Cancer is a nightmarish illness, which Joe well knows, and a line needs to be drawn between promising aggressive action on research versus promising a cure. The latter is cheap, manipulative, and offensive.

@John the Econ- Based on what we've seen regarding AOC's grasp of economics, I'm not surprised that she can't make $174k go very far.

Excellent point that the real story behind the "Russian collusion" hoax is a lot bigger than Watergate. Obama, Hillary, and the intelligence agencies went rogue and tried to negate Americans' ability to choose a president. That's terrifying, and will be even more so if proper punishment isn't eventually dispensed.

And I agree that promising to cure cancer, however crass and impossible to deliver on, is at least better than offering more free stuff.

Old Cannonballs said...

Posted today in the remarks section after the Biden cancer story on Breitbart news:

If Trump cured cancer, the CNN headline would be, “Trump puts thousands of health care workers out of work.”

Colby Muenster said...

Wait.... Joe is promising a cure for himself? If only...

But seriously, Joe is knee jerking to AOC's insanity like a lunatic, flip flopping be damned! This is the best the Democrats have to offer? Could Rod Serling write anything this bizarre? If Numbnuts Biden actually lands the nomination, could he beat Trump? The sad, sad answer is yes.

So, $174k is not enough for AOC. Boy, she sure got over that whole "capitalism is evil" thing quickly, didn't she?

james daily said...

On May 16, Hunter got married again in LA (Apropos in that rat infested town. Some gal from S Africa. On AOC: Her grasp of arithmetic is non existent much less her grasp of reality. However, it may be better than than walking zombie Groping Joe. On the plus side, I would like to see her challenge Chuck U Schumer for that spot.
I still wonder why Groping Joe has not been charged as a pedophile. Plenty of evidence.

james daily said...

Forgot: I think that it is funny as heil that AOC said all her colleagues are crooked.

Stan da Man said...

"They don't make entertainers like that anymore"

I offer you "Hanky Panky" - pretty magician does a disappearing handkerchief act, pulls it out of a pocket in her jacket - then removes the jacket... after a couple of repeats, she's wearing only shoes, and still dis/reappearing that hanky... TOTALLY NSFW.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbVz5V6DCds

Boligat said...

Stilt,

Re: Congress living in dorms

It just boggles the mind what could happen if such were the case. Simple, but adequate rooms. Simple but adequate cafeteria food. On site exercise rooms. On site conference rooms. On site offices. Chauffeured trips to Capitol Hill in private buses to cast votes. Security cameras focused on the doors to each room, the footage of which is broadcast 24/7 on the net so that the people who 'hired' these jokers can see who is actually going into their rooms late at night. On site medical clinic where they all have to sign in and get in line to see whatever doctor is available.

If they knew what was in; store for them, a lot of these slime balls might not be so anxious to get elected.

But, since they get to make their own rules, you just know it would never happen. Supervising and setting rules and policy and salaries, though, would be a great job for the new and expanded Electoral College.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Stilton: Pasties, not pastries.

However...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTh1mpmYsE0

;D

Edam Wensleydale said...

Bloody Vkings.

Pat Cummings said...

Wah! @Stan da Man: You just totally ruined my day. I now have a self-assigned task to figure out how Ms. Martinez does that! (I figure it'll take at least until bedtime...)

Susan said...

Say or think what you will....Uncle Creepy Joe is a set-up for Mikey Obama.

Paul said...

I see mikey being drafted at the convention. I would not pick Clinton as a veep as you life span would be measured in minutes after the farce of an election.

I expect they will pull out all the stops on the 2020 election and do there level best to stuff the ballet box to 5/10% this year to ensure they win. Only way trump gets in is if enough of use vote the day of the election in enough straight precincts to win.

We are fighting for our life on the next election.

Anonymous said...

I hear that the Democrats via Obamacare will have a 'cure' for old age, disabilities, cancer and chronic diseases - it's called 'euthanasia'.

Gee M said...

@ Pat Cummings

the infamous plastic thumb that fits in several silk scarves and slips over the real thumb.
all magic shops sell them...
big hit in guatemala, my magician buddy really freaked out the mayans.

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Stan da man,

While I would enjoy trying to figure out how it's done, I just can't sell my soul to Google to do it. So my imagination will just have to do for now.

George said...

@Marcy Isaac...stop with the spam. Oh, and English, please. Thank you.

Pete (Detroit) said...

@ M Mitchell - not the original video (it had more literal interpretations of the lyrics)
But this is nice too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmz5BNALObo&list=PLB6A94D657928BC68

John the Econ said...

Speaking of the oh-so-underpaid AOC:

AOC Pushes To Make It Easier To Study Shrooms And Other Psychedelic Drugs

Because maybe if we were all high on shrooms and other psychedelic drugs, we'd see the world as she does and would finally get on board with the agenda. I don't see it happening any other way.

But here's something I think we can all agree on - Believing AOC makes you an idiot:

Ocasio-Cortez: I Was Joking About The World Ending In 12 Years, And You're An Idiot If You Believed Me

The 29-year-old socialist mocked the Republican Party for taking her claim about the end of the world seriously, which she suggested was a combination of "dry humor + sarcasm."

"This is a technique of the GOP, to take dry humor + sarcasm literally and 'fact check' it. Like the 'world ending in 12 years' thing, you’d have to have the social intelligence of a sea sponge to think it’s literal. But the GOP is basically Dwight from The Office so who knows," wrote AOC in a tweet published on Mother’s Day.


That's the problem with AOC. The line between "dry humor + sarcasm" and reality with her is both jagged, fuzzy, and indetectable.

Fish Out of Water said...

@John. Regarding study of drugs, believe the endgame here is to keep the masses doped up and stupid ala Huxley....

capt fast said...

almost occasionally kruschev makes me believe there need be an minimum age/experience level for members of congress and an age limitation on them also as regards the congress members who are into dementia and what not. we do this for some one doing an important thing like flying an airliner with people in the back, so why no do this for anyone involved in crafting laws that affect the lives and livelihood of those people.
i believe the qualities of senate members explains a lot about the way they act. the members of the house need to be treated as children who are out of control and need some quiet time.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- I'm behind in responding to comments but have read and enjoyed them all. Not to mention the Youtube videos!

Pat Cummings said...

@Gee M: Phfft! Now I have to go back and study the YouTube video again to figure which thumb Ms. "Hanky Panky" Martinez' scarf pocket is on. Another day "wasted"!

@Stilt: Hey, this set of comments is SO yesterday. Except to those of us with OCD issues...

Lee Akers sr said...

Spirit gum.

Anonymous said...

Could it be that he knows that a cure for cancer already exists and he thus will just revealed the cure that is presently being hidden from the masses by the Medical Mafia because it is not a profitable cure. Read 'The Medical Mafia" and be enlightened!