Monday, June 24, 2019

The Carroll and Shtick Approach

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, e. jean carroll, rape, trump, advice, bergdorf goodman

It's been a remarkably consistent week for President Trump: he was going to obliterate Iran, then it didn't happen. He was going to have ICE raids on illegals all over the country, then it didn't happen. And now he's been accused of rape by a woman selling a book about how awful men are, and we're pretty damn sure it didn't happen either.

Advice columnist E. Jean Carroll who, in her spare time, conducts twice-weekly walking tours disparaging "The Most Hideous Men of New York City," claims that in "1975 or 1976," Trump was overcome with lust for her while they shared a dressing room in the Bergdorf Goodman department store. Both were fully clothed at the time (she never even dropped her handbag), but Carroll claims that Trump managed to hold her against a wall while simultaneously unzipping his fly and pulling down her tights, after which he "thrust his penis halfway - or completely, I'm not certain - inside me." After which she pushed him aside, ran from the dressing room, and cleverly escaped on a slow-moving escalator without alerting anyone at the store or mentioning it in public for a quarter century.

Ms. Carroll, the author of the coincidentally just-released "What Do We Need Men For?", denies Donald Trump's claim that she's lying to sell more books and states categorically that she's telling the absolute truth and has only come forward to revitalize her career as a fading porn star and stripper. No, wait - that was Stormy Daniels, the only woman on the "gentleman's club" circuit who has to give 75¢ in change to anyone who tucks a dollar bill in her g-string.

Ms. Carroll says that she has no intention of filing charges against President Trump, because she "would find it disrespectful to the women who are down on the border who are being raped around the clock down there without any protection. It would just be disrespectful."

So as a famous and celebrated advice columnist, she would tell women not to report being raped in order to show respect to other women who are getting raped?! We should definitely get into the "advice columnist" racket, as apparently the entry requirements are pretty much nonexistent.

Rape is a very serious matter, but the sad epidemic of rape taking place at our southern border could be greatly reduced by closing the borders as Trump wants to do, rather than having liberals keep them wide open as an enticing lure to women and children...and their rapists.

And we've been told, repeatedly, that every woman who cries rape needs to be believed without question. Sadly, the circus of wild unsubstantiated lies at the Kavanaugh confirmation hearings has made that an exceedingly foolish thing to do. For which actual rape victims who are disbelieved can thank political hatchet-wielders like Gloria Allred, Michael Avenatti, Senate Democrats and, we're betting, E. Jean Carroll.


rickn8or said...

Ms. Carroll, put up or shut up.

Has anyone seen or heard from Christine Blasey Ford in the last year? What's she up to these days?

Mike aka Proof said...

It's amazing that as part of her "evidence" of the attack, she wore the same dress she wore when it happened. Totally credible! I remember the day Joe Biden stole my wallet.. It was the same day I went over Niagara Falls in a barrel and bowled a perfect .300 game. I know, because I was wearing this same shirt!!

Clothing does not lie, people!

Maoz said...

Rickn8or, I saw a pic a little while back of Blasey Ford with her right hand raised in swearing-in mode. The caption had her saying something to the effect of, "I just remembered! It wasn't Kavanaugh. I'm pretty sure it was William Barr."

Fish Out of Water said...

Another pathetic and I'd say very troubled individual probably used by the same people, including the most vile, venal, pathological liar, charter member deplorable and twice repudiated for President (thank God)public figure we've had in recent times. Do note that so far, the story does not seem to have gained much traction.

This latest eruption of Trump and the stolen Presidency is now a symptom of general democratic extremism that one person recently called them a 'runaway train'.

Couldn't have said it better myself, and it'd be great for the RNC to seize on this and throw it out there again and again and again up unto election day 2020.

Jim Irre said...

This claim falls into the "Seriously?" category. Shared a dressing room? She doesn't say whether it was shared consensually or not. Seems like filing charges is irrelevant theses days. The accusation alone is enough to send some on the left into a mouth-frothing frenzy.

Elbarto said...

Every time you think Democrats can't stoop any lower, they go and prove you wrong.

Alan said...

Fred Ciampi said...

First of all, folks like Donald Trump (even before he was elected President) do not use dressing rooms in department stores. The department store comes to them. Either in the form of a semi all decked out like the clothing department or as a 'dressing room' set up in their own mansion. 60 years ago I used to do odd jobs for different celebrities in the upscale community near where I lived at the time and bringing the clothes to the rich and famous was quite normal. And I am sure that it is the same today.

Second, does this mean that we are all free now to accuse anyone of anything and say it happened more than XYZ years' ago? "Thare's gold in them thar hills". 'Nuff said.

Jess said...

I'm sure she's mistaken Trump for Bigfoot. Bigfoot wanders all around the streets of New York, and is constantly causing mischief. Between it, and Bill Clinton, women in New York have no peace.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@jpb252: Hence the term, "Hold mah beer".

McChuck said...

"the women who are down on the border who are being raped around the clock down there without any protection" from the Mexican men who sneak them into our country, when they're not busy forcing them to carry heavy loads of drugs.

American Cowboy said...

I do not believe her in the least, except for when in the book, she hints that she never had sex with anybody again.

My guess is that any medical exam would prove she is still a virgin.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@rickn8or "Has anyone seen or heard from Christine Blasey Ford in the last year? What's she up to these days?"

I think she colored her hair and changed her name to Joyce White Vance...

Geoff King said...

According to Ms. Carroll, the alledged incident occured after Trump "asked her to try on lingerie that he was considering buying as a gift". So, she agreed to enter a dressing room with a man, strip down naked, and put on sexy clothing, and never saw a possible problem with that scenario?
Ignorance is bliss, I suppose.

Sortahwitte said...

The dims and their minions are stooping to unbelievable lows.
They can win a limbo contest while going under a toothpick placed on the floor.

TrickyRicky said...

Yawn.....and please pass the popcorn.

Jack said...

You may be unaware that American law is set up strangely. If you are accused of sexual harassment, no defense is allowed.
Go ahead. Look it up.

Fritzchen said...

Did her parents have any children born live?

Murphy(AZ) said...

She doesn't remember when (if?) it happened, she doesn't remember WHAT happened (1/2? 5/8? 2/3? 15/36?)

Yet she was able to push him away and make good her escape down an escalator with her tights around her knees and not be noticed?

Does this sort of thing happen often in Bergdorf Goodman?

Colby Muenster said...

"I hate men. Men are useless. I want all men to die. Well... all men except Trump. I can maybe get a nice pile of cash from him. But other than that, all men can die."

But seriously, many here have offered great comments. Do rich people shop at department stores? Do women invite men into department store dressing rooms with them? If you were a woman going into a department store dressing room, and there was a dude in there, wouldn't you immediately leave? Do women who get raped in department store dressing rooms remain silent or scream their lungs out? It's not like its a dark alley in the seedy side of town.

Anonymous said...

Oh I believe her, just as I believed Ford, the Easter bunny, Santa Clause and that the Obama posse never had one scandal.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@rickn8or- I doubt we'll ever hear from Ford again. She already did her piece of theater, made a book deal, then disappeared as so many other liars have done before and after her.

@Mike aka Proof- Why in the hell would she keep that outfit for 25 years? As an unpleasant reminder? Or does that just happen to a "classic" outfit that she's had in her closet for a long time which she's now using to pretend she's Monica Lewinsky? I don't buy any of this.

@Maoz- I'm surprised they didn't trot her out again.

@Fish Out of Water- The story isn't going to gain traction because nobody is surprised by this: the Left already thought Trump was a serial rapist, and the Right already thought that women lying about sex was a standard part of the Dem playbook. Considering that she's not talking about pressing charges, this just becomes another puff of hot air.

@Jim Irre- It sounds like she was fine with Trump being in the dressing room, and she was being flirtatious and playful. Which does not mean "asking for it," but makes this whole story awfully weird.

@jpb252- I've largely stopped thinking we'll ever hit bottom when it comes to the Dems.

@Alan- I love that meme! For those who haven't seen the picture, it's Carroll saying that Trump raped her, then poured bleach on her and yelled "this is MAGA country!"

@Fred Ciampi- Trump might have been in the store if he was buying lingerie for an (ahem) "lady friend" other than his wife, and didn't want anyone the wiser. Or not. And that sounds like an interesting job you used to do!

@Jess- Ah yes, the elusive Snatchsquatch...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Yep!

@McChuck- EXACTLY! Those women aren't being raped by Trump, ICE agents, or border patrol, they're being raped by the coyotes, drug dealers, and general human scum that we need to keep out. Dems who support open borders also support "rape around the clock" whether they admit it or not.

@American Cowboy- Personality is a vastly underappreciated means of birth control.

@Emmentaler Limburger- Ever since Lefty Lucy got big-framed glasses, all the women are copying her.

@Geoff King- Here's another thing I don't buy about her story: in the circumstances you describe, why would Trump wait until she was fully clothed again to make his move?

@Sortahwitte- I may have to borrow that limbo/toothpick line!

@TrickyRicky- Would that be popcorn with butter and assault?

@Jack- Sadly, that's about the state of things.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Anonymous: How about Toledo? (h/t Stan Freberg)

Old Cannonballs said...

We've come a long way from a pubic hair on a can of Coke.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@NaCly Dog- Old "Slick Willy" must laugh his ass off every time he hears these accusations.

@Fritzchen- If they did, they're not admitting it.

@Murphy(AZ)- Bergdorf Goodman caters to sophisticates who frequently run around the store bare assed.

@Colby Muenster- I'm wondering if Bergdorf Goodman offers dressing rooms that are like private suites, or if she's claiming all of this happened in a 5' x 5' space with a highly-visible one foot gap under a swinging door?

@Anonymous- Wait, what are you trying to say about Santa...?!

james daily said...

Stilt: You keep me sane. Sometimes I feel like I am in a cage watching all this craziness thru the bars knowing there is nothing I can do to stop this insanity or correct it or punish those that malign, slander, break laws. Then there are these slick politicians like Pelosi that continually on a daily basis change the parameters of their beliefs for convenience and political points. What a world to wake up to everyday.
An interesting point is that Bolton will probably skate because of one word, "assessment."
If I weren't wearing rose colored glasses, no telling how bad this would be especially when those crying foul are not in the game or stands but not even in the same city.

Anonymous said...

They didn't believe the woman/women who accused Virginia's Lt. governor of rape.
OH never mind. He's a democrat.

LSWCHP said...

There's a reason people generally don't have sex standing and facing each other. The angles just don't work out and it's very difficult to achieve even if both people are cooperating, particularly when the man is tall. Try it. You won't like it.

It's even less feasible when both people are wearing clothes and the woman's legs are held together by her underwear and she's not cooperating. I wouldn't say penetration is impossible, but it would be highly improbable.

You cannae defy the laws of physics.

Fred Ciampi said...

A guy and a gal hop into the back seat for a quickie. When they are finished he says "Gee, if I knew you were a virgin I would have taken more time". She says "If I knew you had more time I would have taken off my panty hose".

Hahahahahhaahafartbarf. Sorry Stilt.

TogaTony ;-) said...


Anonymous said...

If you give the crazy wheure a receding hairline, she could be an Avenatti double.