Friday, November 15, 2019


stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, schiff, trump, impeachment, whistleblower, busty ross, stilton's palsy

Unlike Schiff, we believe in presenting evidence to back up our accusations - so here's the article in which Schiff's loopy logic is neatly laid out. And that's really all we have to say about this fool's parade for now, which brings us to...

Lacking the will to fool with any other "news" stories today, we're just going to reel off some random thoughts and musings. Hey, that's why it's called "casual Friday!"


Today was one of those days when we were reminded that we're growing older and are already way out of warranty. For starters, we had to go in for our regular hearing aid tune-up. This involved going to the service provider and handing our hearing aids to the pleasant young lady at the front desk, after which she told us to...uh...well, we don't know what she told us because we didn't have our freaking hearing aids in, but she was gesturing at a waiting room chair so we sat and listened to the shrieking tea kettle whistling of our tinnitus. Whee.

Perhaps 10 minutes later, the hearing aids were brought back, showroom fresh, minus all of the earwax that had accumulated inside (the wax, incidentally, will be donated to homeless bees). And soon we were on our way, once again making believe that we're not deaf as a post.

Upon returning home, we were greeted with the exciting news that our local pharmacy had finally received a supply of shingles vaccine - but only enough for 20 doddering oldsters, and it would go to whoever got there first.

So we flew out the door and had soon received the shingles shot ($160 and not covered by Medicare) and a "senior strength" flu shot with quadruple the irritants that everyone else gets. So now we can look forward to enjoying radiant good health as soon as BOTH our arms stop hurting like sumbitches.


Last week we shared that the IRS was fining us $5000 because we submitted an information form (related to our personal retirement account) four months late. We appealed, and the IRS has been sending letters for over six months to say they haven't gotten to it yet. Hey, what are missed deadlines between friends, right?

The day after we posted the story on this page, we got yet another letter from them saying it would be another two months at the earliest before they could respond...but it was okay if we wanted to pay the fine now to decrease the rapidly accruing interest. Uh, no thanks.


We also bitched about, er, shared an update on "Stilton's Palsy" last week. Readers had many helpful suggestions, including switching to a liquor brand which isn't purchased in barrels by people in the embalming industry. But another frequently mentioned tip was to try sleeping with a bar of soap at the end of the bed (technically a remedy for leg cramps, but what the heck). So we gave it a try and, astoundingly, it was no help at all.

Still, it pointed us in an exciting new direction, and we'll now be putting strange objects by our feet every night while looking for that elusive cure. Because, dammit, that's how science works.


M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Why not try a bottle of Clan MacGregor at your feet? The stuff HAS to be good for SOMETHING...

Mike aka Proof said...

" try sleeping with a bar --------- at the end of the bed"

There! Fixed it for you!

Jefoooooo said...

Keep tonic water handy at night for leg cramps. Almost instant relief. This is why the English invented Gin and Tonic so they could get their troops in India to get Quinine into their system. To help against both Malaria and heat cramping. Look it up!
It really does work. Or just keep enough Gin n Tonic in your system at all times. That works, too...

Fish Out of Water said...

The IRS and our tax code are poster children for a national, flat sales tax.

Jim Irre said...

I like the idea of a consumption tax better, but what do I know?

Alfonso Bedoya said...

Having to look at Adam Schiff on the "hearings" is worse than taxes. I am writing Pelosi in hopes that she will replace him with Busty Ross. It's only fair.

EOCostello said...

Stilton, the way you're presenting Congressman Schiff in these cartoons makes me think at any moment he's going to break out in song...

"Wilkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome!"

("Leave your cerebral cortex...outside!
So Mueller was disappointing? Forget it!
In here, impeachment is beautiful.
The witnesses are beautiful.
Even the MSNBC anchor is beautiful!")

Joel Grey, call your office.

oldroo said...

Here is a leg cramp remedy that actually works. Eat a 3 or 4 pickles at bedtime with or without a shot of scotch. If the cramps get really bad, drinking a couple of ounces of pickle juice should do it.

Anonymous said...

Magnesium 250mg before retiring

Jon said...

As long as the object at the end of your bed isn't a horse's head.... possibly sent by Mrs. Clinton or her friends....

Fred Ciampi said...

Yup. what Anonymous said. I have been taking magnesium for a while now. No more night time leg cramps. And remember Boortz's Book on flat tax? I liked it but it was about as popular with the pols as a fart in a crowded elevator. And the docs found out yesterday that I have A-fib. Yay, I mean, oh shit, no more Clan McMoonshine.

Murphy(AZ) said...

Ladies and Gentlemen: I am not a scientist, nor have I played one on TV. My credentials are as follows: I'm a Certified Old Fart who still retains a good memory. I come from a long line of Certified Old Farts and Fartesses, who also maintained operational memory systems, some into their 90's.

My point: these great people knew of "old family treatments" for just about everything. While some were effective and others were not, most of them included alcohol or other intoxicants. Pretty much all of them did help to at least partially ease pain or discomfort for any ailment they were used for.

Great Granny knew what she was doing.

Zot said...

Skip al the shots (shingles, flu, pneumonia.) They are relatively ineffective (and expensive) and actually hurt your body. Better to just increase your intake of Vit "D" and Vit "C" during the winter. Get liposomal Vit "C" from and at the first sign of shingles, a cold or flu start taking it - 2 grams/hour (or more) is a good place to start. Unlike regular Vit "C" you can overdose on liposomal Vit "C".

For A-Fib take selenium (a mineral necessary for the heart to electrically connect. Take it as a couplet with Vit "E". I was diagnosed with A-Fib 20 years ago. Chiropractor said I needed selenium. Took it and in 6 months - no more afib. System will never tell you that because they can't make any $ on healthy people.

bajawisconsin said...

Federal law makes it a crime to "knowingly and willfully" give "materially" false statements to Congress, even if unsworn...Schiff-for-brains needs to be dragged off to prison.

TrickyRicky said...

Has anyone suggested trying a night with Busty Ross at the foot of the bed? Asking for a friend.

isright63 said...

"Stops Leg and Foot Cramps" from Caleb Treeze Organic Farm. Worked really well for me and a couple of friends.

Pat Cummings said...

@all: Pretty sure "Stilton's Palsy" isn't just leg cramps. My spouse suffered from a similar ailment (jerking, twitching legs in bed at night) for years; the only relief came after a traumatic brain injury and/or the subsequent induced coma apparently shut down whatever was triggering the St. Vitus symptoms, and by good fortune, they didn't reappear after rehab and recovery.

FYI St. Vitus Dance:

Anonymous said...

Maybe you can get Busty Ross to curl up around your feet. Sounds naturopathic to me.

Graylady said...

I take some OTC stuff for leg cramps that contains quinine. Jefoooooo may have somethi g there with his tonic water. I'll have to try that. Also have RLS, which drives me nuts. I've tried the prescription meds for that - didnt work, didn't sleep for 4 nights, was nearly psychotic. Now I use Sinemet, it's worked for years like a charm.

Rod said...

What feels like twitching, crazy legs & leg "cramps" may not be muscle cramping at all. Sciatic nerve issues can present in many ways. The problem may be mild or worse sciatica in the spine or hip that feels like (but is not) muscle spasm or cramps down below. Take notes on body position that feels good vs not good. Standing, sitting or laying down.. laying on back, side, which side, front. Body vertical or horizontal. This may provide some insight to a good lower back Orthopaedist.

@Tricky: That night with Busty could work either way (or both): good or not good (for cure).

John the Econ said...

Paradoxxing: It's my understanding that Facebook is censoring any post that includes the whistleblower's name:

"The student reportedly claimed that he wanted to test whether Facebook was blocking posts that mention a name that conservative outlets claim is the whistleblower's. Atkinson said in court that his three posts — one calling the person a "hero," another calling the person a "dirty rat" and a third saying Atkinson had "conflicting feelings" about the person — were taken down..."

This should be the bigger story than the bogus kabuki theater going on at the House. Yes, Facebook is a privately-owned platform that can pretty much do as it wishes. But if this "test" proves effective, what will they be censoring next? We already have a media complex that almost exclusively does the bidding of the deep state. Jeffery Epstein might still be alive and still running the Lolita Express if Facebook had been doing this a few years earlier.

OK, Boomer: We recently got the shingles vaccine. My recommendation is to write off about 18 hours of your life starting about 18 hours after the injection; flu-like symptoms excluding the congestion. For me, the 2nd round was worse than the first. Having known people who've experienced shingles, it was a worthwhile price to pay.

Not covered by Medicare? Certainly not covered by Medicaid then, or our soon-to-be-imposed "Medicaid for All". Ours were covered by our private insurance that most of the Democrats are currently campaigning to eliminate. But hey, everything else will be "free".

Sortahwitte said...

We should be careful in the way we refer to Ms. Busty. She is, after all, America's Sweetheart. She should be on a pedestal and long may she wave. Or something like that.
I luv ya, Busty!

John the Econ said...

@Fish Out of Water, @Jim Irre & @Fred Ciampi: I've been an advocate of the "Fair Tax" for decades. First, it's the most transparent tax possible. And it hits everybody far more equitably than the potpourri of taxes we have today does.

Which, of course, is why it will never happen. It robs politicians of their ability to play favorites and to punish the unpopular. Progressives absolutely hate transparency; they do not want people realizing what they are actually paying for government. (This is why they love taxes on businesses which are simply passed down through the cost of goods)

Eliminating income taxes for the "Fair Tax" would make America the tax haven for the planet. Money would flood into America instead of being chased out, as it inevitably will be under the proposed agendas of Sanders and Warren.

@bajawisconsin, I'm still waiting to hear this "bombshell proof" of Trump's Russia collusion that Schiff said he had a year ago.

Anything Schiff says plus $5 still won't get you anything at Starbucks.

Colby Muenster said...

I hesitate to bring this up, but have you ever considered smoking a doob before bedtime? Not that I do that anymore, but I can vouch that it really helped a friend of ours who was struggling with serious health issues. Disclaimer for the gubmint agents who are monitoring this blog - I quit smoking doobs back in the 80's!

You hearing aid story (I have $5,000 stuck in my ears too!) reminded me of a Mythbusters episode where they made a candle out of earwax. Pretty disgusting it was, and the stuff didn't even burn.

Rod said...

@John the Econ: Could you explain a bit about the workings of the (I agree: Theoretical) Fair Tax? Like ~ How much, On what, and any Biggies high or low that would be exempt? Did it ever get that far? If so, Thanks

Snark said...

@Rod: go to for details. It's the simplest, fairest method of taxation ever created. Doesn't have a chance in hell of getting past the politicos. Stilton's Palsy sounds more like a sleeping Tourette's than anything else, though without the verbal accompaniment. The attacking hand puppet in the video did remind me of Dr. Srangelove...Ever try wearing a black rubber glove while you sleep? @Colby may have a point; CDB may be a more legal option. Can't hurt. I also concur with several others, 100 Pipers, Scorsby's and few others in the similar price range might suffice to prevent wallet damage and still provide necessary relief for that and other ailments. Especially the IRS. Just remember - they're from the gubbermiint and they're here to f... okay, screw you.

Anonymous said...

250mg Magnesium is available at your local pharmacy. There is no danger using it after consuming ethyl alcohol

Anonymous said...

You chose the wrong soap. It has to be Irish Spring.

Well, it may not work, but your feet will smell good.

It turns out that if you have mice going through your kitchen garbage can, a bar of Irish Spring really does keep the mice away. Mice apparently hate that smell.

Come to think of it, so do I.

Bobo said...

I propose your St Vitus Dance is caused by a deep seated concern of an inability to reconcile differences between yourself and the IRS due to their lack of expedience, as in, “time is of the essence” to rectify their unfair fine and increasing interest.

Geoff King said...

I give up. This entire democrat whistleblower impeachment witch hunt has absolutely no basis in fact, has no evidence backing it, and is a totally bogus supposition. I can now only believe that the dems hope to keep the American voters confused enough with this bullshit to try and sway the 2020 election.
I actually forced myself to watch portions of the "hearings" and could not believe that these people still have jobs.

TMay said...

For me, eating bananas, taking Vit B complex, and taking 2 Potassium tablets that equals 6% of daily needs gets rid of leg cramps in seconds.

What you are describing sounds like something other than leg cramps. I have known 2 people with it who went to an MD and got a prescription.

If you are taking statins, google its side effects.

Dan said...

@Stilton -- Regarding the IRS, have you written your congresscritter? Can't hurt. Then get on the phone with their local office and become a real squeaky wheel.

John the Econ said...

@Rod, as @Snark pointed out, the complete detains are at

What the rate would be is of constant debate. But it will almost certainly be less than the net federal tax on the middle class. IMHO, nothing would be exempt, because that opens the door to politicians playing favorites. Once you start playing those kind of games, it's no longer "fair".

But the best feature is that everyone in the economy would now have skin in the game. Every time another politician suggests another spending proposal, everyone would think twice since they wouldn't be able to play the "someone else will be paying for it" game. The nature of our national politics would be radically different. Which is, of course, why they'll never acquiesce to a plan as simple yet radical as this.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- The bottle of Clan MacGregor didn't stop the tremors, but it seems to have cleared up my toenail fungus!

@Mike aka Proof- Wow, the answer was right in front of me the whole time!

@Jefoooooo- That's good advice for those who actually have nighttime leg cramps. Whatever the heck it is that I've got, though, it ain't leg cramps.

@Fish Out of Water- Amen to that. It will never happen, though, as manipulation of tax code is the primary expression of legislators' corruption.

@Jim Irre- You want to tax people with tuberculosis?! That's cold, man. (grin)

@Alfonso Bedoya- I don't think Pelosi wants to remind the world what a woman looks like before evil withers her like a raisin.

@EOCostello- As oenophiles say, "Life is a cabernet."

@oldroo- Interesting! I like pickles and (within limits) pickle juice. However, the thought of combining a pickle with a shot of Clam MacGregor already has my tongue and my stomach begging me to reconsider.

@Anonymous- Magnesium really is thought to be helpful with muscle movement disorders. I take it twice a day.

@Jon- Ironically, it was Hillary who thought she was giving voters an offer they couldn't refuse.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Fred Ciampi- As I mentioned above, the pols will NEVER go for a flat tax because they would lose a large percentage of their power (not to mention graft). And good luck with that A-fib. Hopefully that's something that can be addressed with meds or, I guess, a pacemaker?

@Murphy (AZ)- I think you could do a lot worse than to treat a lot of ailments with an aspirin and a shot of whisky.

@Zot- Well, it's too late for me to not get the shots, but I'll keep the vitamins coming. Interesting about selenium and A-Fib, and by coincidence I just recently learned that Brazil nuts are an excellent source of selenium.

@bajawisconsin- I agree! Unfortunately, there may not be anybody in Congress who isn't guilty of making "materially false statements" to press charges.

@TrickyRicky- I don't think that idea would resonate with either Ms. Ross or Mrs. J.

@isright63- Glad it worked for you. Does Caleb Treeze Organic Farm make anything called "Stops Whatever the Hell That Is You're Doing"?

@Pat Cummings- I'm familiar with restless leg syndrome and similar conditions; likely related in some way to what I've got, but not quite the same thing. Interestingly (or not, you be the judge) my father was diagnosed with St. Vitus in his early 20's for a host of odd tics and twitches. It eventually proved to be not that, but various symptoms continued through his life. So maybe I've actually got "Stilton's Father's Palsy."

@Anonymous- I'm pretty sure that Ms. Ross would tell me that "foot warmer" isn't in her job description.

@Graylady- I'll have to look into Sinemet!

@Rod- I don't think that's my problem, as the symptoms tend to turn up bilaterally and top-to-bottom. It has been suggested that I may have some odd synapses going off in the so-called homunculus part of my brain, which is why the symptoms migrate from limb to limb. Or, uh, something.

@John the Econ- Based on a straw poll of friends on Facebook, the whistleblower's name was DEFINITELY being censored, even after Schiff himself had "outed" the whistleblower in an incompletely redacted transcript. Facebook was suppressing the name for the whistleblower's safety - they were suppressing it so people would be unable to research him and see how little credibility he has. And yes, that's really scary.

Regarding the shingles shot, I'm feeling mostly okay, albeit with a slight headache and likely touch of fever. And it's disappointing but not surprising that Medicare wouldn't help with the payment.

@Sortahwitte- I agree that Busty deserves all possible respect. She's not only eye-catching, she's smart, strong, patriotic, independent, and fearless. I'd vote for her in a heartbeat!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- Yep, a "fair tax" would disempower Washington's wheeler-dealers (just how DID you get so wealthy, Mrs. Pelosi?) while likely bring more money into government coffers than ever seen before. But clearly the power to abuse certain taxpayers isn't one those in charge want to lose: Elizabeth Warren is now selling coffee cups that say "Billionaire's Tears," which really wouldn't be a thing with a fair tax. A recent study showed that under a president Warren, the very wealthy could be paying total taxes of 102%. Not that any of the wealthy will still be living in the United States if and when that hits.

@Colby Muenster- Were it legal, I'd be happy to try a little wacky weed therapy. But sadly it's not an option in my part of Texas. I've seen some Youtube videos in which people with profound movement disorders get almost miraculous relief from cannabis. If I'm ever in a locale where it's legal, I'll give it a try.

@Rod- See below.

@Snark- I've seen someone else with a similar condition call it "body Tourette's," and that's not a bad description. Many Tourette's sufferers can "hold it in" when they have to, but everything they've held during the day needs to finally come out explosively. Similarly, I may have the underlying condition at all times, but it's only when I'm half-awake that I lose the mental control of my body and the stored movements decided to put on a show.

Regarding CBD oil, nothing with any THC (is that the chemical) is legal in Texas.

@Anonymous- I'm a big believer in Magneisum, taking it twice a day. Though I'm only totaling 200mg daily. Guess I need to toss in another dose!

@Anonymous- Irish Spring?! And here I used antibacterial Dial! I'll have to pick up some of the good, green stuff and give it a try.

@Bobo- Unfortunately, my symptoms are on record as starting well before the time the IRS decided to go full punitive on my ass. So no lawsuits in the near future...

@Geoff King- The whole impeachment circus really, really upsets me. Not just because of all the lying and wrongdoing, but because so many Americans can't see what's happening right in front of their eyes. I'm upset because I feel like I'm witnessing the end of the world, and the cause won't be war, plague, famine, or natural disaster - it will be stupidity, mendacity, a dangerous incuriosity, and obsession with (and faith in) media.

@Tmay- I haven't tried bananas at any kind of a theraputic level. Couldn't hurt to try! And yes, I'm on statins and other meds which "lower your seizure threshold." So far, though, no smoking gun that any of them (or any combination of them) is the problem.

@John the Econ- Good summary, especially regarding the fact that under a fair tax "everyone would have skin in the game."

Dan said...

Just looking for your thought on this, Stilton.
I'm considering taking up a musical instrument. There's one from Italy that looks interesting:
"The Ciaramella is an Italian double reed instrument from the Abruzzo mountains with a rather hard, loud, piercing sound."

If I get one, I think I'll name it Eric.

NVRick said...

@ bajawisconsin
Unfortunately, Anything a Congress critter says while in the House Or Senate is immune from prosecution. How nice for them that they make the rules we have to abide by and they are exempt from.
One of the most egregious in the recent past was by Harry Reid when he said that Romney didn't pay any taxes.

jfmoris said...

Is it just me, or should someone photoshop Schiff's face onto this guy: men in black, alien in Edgar skin

I've been dosing myself with magnesium by giving myself sponge baths with epsom salts and borax. I keep the bucket cool, so it's also like a cold shower - invigorating- effect. Helps a lot with aches and knee pain, the borax aids that, and makes my skin feel nice and soft, too.

Pat Cummings said...

@Dan: Not a whistle, then? Just askin'...

Geoff King said...

@Stilton re: CBD oil.
Yes, it is legal in Texas. No, it doesn't contain THC.
It's many health benefits are well known and documented.