Friday, November 15, 2019
Unlike Schiff, we believe in presenting evidence to back up our accusations - so here's the article in which Schiff's loopy logic is neatly laid out. And that's really all we have to say about this fool's parade for now, which brings us to...
Lacking the will to fool with any other "news" stories today, we're just going to reel off some random thoughts and musings. Hey, that's why it's called "casual Friday!"
Today was one of those days when we were reminded that we're growing older and are already way out of warranty. For starters, we had to go in for our regular hearing aid tune-up. This involved going to the service provider and handing our hearing aids to the pleasant young lady at the front desk, after which she told us to...uh...well, we don't know what she told us because we didn't have our freaking hearing aids in, but she was gesturing at a waiting room chair so we sat and listened to the shrieking tea kettle whistling of our tinnitus. Whee.
Perhaps 10 minutes later, the hearing aids were brought back, showroom fresh, minus all of the earwax that had accumulated inside (the wax, incidentally, will be donated to homeless bees). And soon we were on our way, once again making believe that we're not deaf as a post.
Upon returning home, we were greeted with the exciting news that our local pharmacy had finally received a supply of shingles vaccine - but only enough for 20 doddering oldsters, and it would go to whoever got there first.
So we flew out the door and had soon received the shingles shot ($160 and not covered by Medicare) and a "senior strength" flu shot with quadruple the irritants that everyone else gets. So now we can look forward to enjoying radiant good health as soon as BOTH our arms stop hurting like sumbitches.
TRUE TO FORMS
Last week we shared that the IRS was fining us $5000 because we submitted an information form (related to our personal retirement account) four months late. We appealed, and the IRS has been sending letters for over six months to say they haven't gotten to it yet. Hey, what are missed deadlines between friends, right?
The day after we posted the story on this page, we got yet another letter from them saying it would be another two months at the earliest before they could respond...but it was okay if we wanted to pay the fine now to decrease the rapidly accruing interest. Uh, no thanks.
We also bitched about, er, shared an update on "Stilton's Palsy" last week. Readers had many helpful suggestions, including switching to a liquor brand which isn't purchased in barrels by people in the embalming industry. But another frequently mentioned tip was to try sleeping with a bar of soap at the end of the bed (technically a remedy for leg cramps, but what the heck). So we gave it a try and, astoundingly, it was no help at all.
Still, it pointed us in an exciting new direction, and we'll now be putting strange objects by our feet every night while looking for that elusive cure. Because, dammit, that's how science works.
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM