Monday, December 16, 2019
Soon-to-be Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has just debuted a fresh, new, youthful countenance which is pure nightmare fuel. In perhaps the least-subtle plastic surgery we've ever seen, Hillary appears to have had silicone breast implants crammed into her cheeks - making them bloated and disquietingly smooth when framed by her heavily wrinkled face.
Although to be absolutely fair and journalistically responsible, we don't know that Hillary had plastic surgery done. We suppose it's possible that she took out her teeth to pleasure her husband ("Is it okay if I think of Monica?") and he got so carried away with slamming her face that her air bags deployed.
DEFACE THE NATION
We normally scoff at the idiotic choices made by TIME magazine (not that it is still a magazine) for their annual "person of the year" issue, but for 2019 they almost got it right.
Not by selecting Greta Thunberg, the spoiled, hectoring, self-important brat of privilege who thinks she's going to change the world by skipping school and being a complete pain in the global ass. But we think TIME almost got it right because the real "person of the year" should be that vicious, angry, "please punch me" snot face that has become the new Guy Fawkes mask worn universally by liberals.
This sneering display of disdain for the rabble, so perfectly mastered by Ms. Thunberg, has also been seen on the pusses of nearly every prominent asshole on the Left. Adam Schiff, Jerry Nadler, Peter Strzok, Alexandria Ocarina-Goretex, Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, James Comey, Ilhan Omar, the full roster of Democratic presidential candidates, every Democrat who attempted to destroy Bret Kavanaugh, antifa, college students, liberal professors, the entire on-air lineup on MSNBC and CNN, and far too many more to mention.
It is the face of whiners and those who hate. The face of those who resent the need to work or exercise personal responsibility. It is the face of unearned superiority and unmerited self-love. It is the face of the power-hungry and the heartless. It is the face of bigotry, prejudice, and the deeply embedded belief that all people are not created equal, which is why the ivory tower class feels compelled to tell the peasant class what the hell to do with their insignificant and annoying lives.
So TIME swung and missed again this year. But maybe they'll get it in 2020, when the "person of the year" will be all of those grief-stricken faces that we'll see when Donald Trump is elected to a second term.
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM