Friday, July 24, 2020
News at Tan
In our constant quest to bring diversity to these pages, Stilton's Place has again solicited opinions on topical stories from a variety of women, including women of color. Toasty brown color.
And who can argue with their trenchant insights? For instance, it's actually 100% true that the "Washington Redskins" have officially changed their name to the "Washington Football Team." Although this represents a new low in sheer gutlessness, we think that the name is still offensive - and not just because of the reference to A) a dead white slaveowner and/or B) a filthy corruption-filled swamp.
Did the owners (and how offensive is that term?!) give any consideration to the fact that the rest of the world says that "football" means "soccer?" Isn't it time for us to adopt the global standard and call our sport something else entirely? And can we really tolerate the word "team," which is a blatant homophone for "teem" - as in "the wretched refuse of your teeming shore"? Why is anyone still calling immigrants "wretched refuse"?! Seriously, the whole name needs a complete do-over. And while they're at it, ditch the religiously offensive "pigskin."
And speaking of pigs (we are masters of the deft segue), how about the "Wall of Moms" who linked arms in Portland to guard their precious little protest-fascists against the big bad police? These "Moms" claim unwavering and unthinking allegiance to Black leaders, none of whom seem to turn up in pictures of the event.
"If [Black leaders] want one wall of moms, they get one!" said one of the petulant, blindingly-white middle-aged women. "If they want two, they get two! If they tell us to jump, we jump. And if they tell us to leave, we leave." Which we'll bet happens a lot.
And rounding out (rather fetchingly) today's trio of stories, Donald Trump has finally been seen wearing a Covid-19 suppressing face mask. He has additionally tweeted that "in our effort to defeat the Invisible China Virus...it is patriotic to wear a face mask." That's not quite declaring that he backs the science, but hopefully people who have been reluctant to wear masks in public will now do so in order to keep Donald Trump from thinking that they're anti-American assholes.
BONUS: DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER, DAMMIT!
IN MEMORIAM: OL' REMUS & THE WOODPILE REPORT
We're sad to report that Ol' Remus, the host of the popular conservative blog "The Woodpile Report" has passed away. The blog was a reliable source of wit, information, and analysis. It will be missed.
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM