Monday, August 3, 2020
There's Nothing Like a Damien
Proving once again that she has way, way too much time on her hands, Alexandria Ontario-Canadez is now complaining that a US Capitol Building statue of Father Damien, a Catholic priest who devoted his life to caring for the wretched residents of a leper colony in Hawaii before contracting and dying of the illness himself, represents "patriarchy and white supremacist culture."
The fact that Father Damien was a racist asshole no doubt comes as a shock to the Catholic church, which made him a saint, as well as to Hawaiian historians who are aware that Hawaii's Princess Lili'uokalani visited the leper colony on Molokai to personally honor the selfless priest. In 2009, then-governor of Hawaii Linda Lingle proclaimed October 11 to be Saint Damien Day, to celebrate a man who "remains a spiritual hero and an icon of love, compassion, courage, humility and humanitarian service."
None of which, in AOC's unforgiving eyes, excuses him for being white.
Joe "Who's Joe Biden?" Biden will reportedly name his choice for a VP candidate sometime this week. Or maybe next week.
Okay, the timetable is fuzzy but he's got a reminder written in bold, block letters on a Post-it note so it will definitely happen pretty soon. Probably.
Insider speculation is that his choice is most likely to be Senator Kamala Harris. Insider speculation is also that the announcement has been delayed because he keeps mistakenly calling her "cameltoe."
According to newly-released documents, Bill Clinton did indeed spend time on Jeffrey Epstein's so-called "Pedophile Island" in the company of "young girls."
The former president, fabled hound dog, and pathological liar has adamantly denied any wrongdoing, shaking his stink-finger for emphasis. According to unconfirmed sources, Slick Willy has said "If I ever was on the island, and I'm not saying I was, it would have been because of my well-documented interest in gardening." When pressed to be more specific, Clinton replied "deflowering."
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM