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Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Par For Discourse

EDITORIAL NOTE: Owing to deadline constraints, we were forced to write our debate coverage before the actual debate had taken place. That being said, we're pretty sure that our account will still accurately reflect what really took place.

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Hey, get an Oval Office you two!
For once, everyone from Fox News to CNN is in complete agreement about last night's first Presidential debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. Their unanimous verdict: it was a "mutual lovefest."

From the very beginning, it was clear that the two candidates not only have deep and abiding affection for one another, but also professional respect and admiration.  Memorable moments include Donald Trump's declaration that, with 47 years of public service, Biden is "living proof that there is no substitute for experience in high office." To which the former Vice-President quipped, "Yes, but it's this wonderful man right here who opened my eyes to the greatness of America."

Of course, the evening was not without fireworks. At one point, Donald Trump threatened to leave the debate stage unless moderator Chris Wallace would "stop showing your damn anti-Biden bias with all these gotcha questions and the fake news about his son, Hunter!" before apologizing to his opponent, saying "I wanted Juan Williams to host this thing, but nooOOooo."

The debate was marked by multiple variations of phrases like "Joe makes a very, very good point," and "C'mon man, how could I do that better than The Donald?" In fact, both candidates were so reluctant to voice any criticism of their opponent that Chris Wallace frequently had to break uncomfortably long silences to coax either Trump or Biden to say anything at all.

The event ended with President Trump presenting Joe Biden with a huge bouquet of flowers and a "Biden 2020" tiara, after which the former Vice President, dabbing tears, broke social-distancing protocol by affectionately shnuzzling the President's neck. "One thing's for sure," concluded moderator Wallace, "whoever wins, a fully unified America will be in good hands."

35 comments:

John25mm said...

Okay you need to slowly back away from the Clan Mcgregor that or your meds need to be checked. However if you continue to not worry about facts then you might get accused of being a democrat. I'm sorry if this is too strong but the first step to getting help is to admit you have a problem. I was in a class so I couldn't watch it live but in the morning I will watch my recording of it for a good laugh.

Rick said...

Clan MacGregor?? Fraid not. He is clearly deep into Clan THC. But what is life without dreams? He forgot to mention the closing piece, “Dance of the Unicorns”.

Dan said...

Chris Wallace really needs to recuse himself from future debates. He lost control near the beginning and never regained it thereafter.

Oh -- and America's Newspaper of Record, the Babylon Bee summed up the evening with a great item:
"CNN Pre-Debate Poll Shows Biden Clearly Won Debate."

ncsercs said...

That debate was the biggest shitshow I've ever seen and I'm 60.

Fritzchen said...

STILT! You've been sucking down too damn much Clan, man!

Jim Irre said...

Don't think Trump did himself any favors last night. He keeps that up and he will single-handedly lose the election.

Bobo the Hobo said...

That was a rip-roaring debate! @Dan is right, Wallace lost control early on and morphed into his Candace Crowley impression by becoming Biden’s avatar and debating President Trump from the moderator’s chair.

Trump beat the tobacco juice out of Biden like the street fighter he is. I wanted to hear more about Hunter’s escapades and he almost got Biden to explode but that was cut off by Wallace. Biden latched on to COVID-19 like a dog with a favorite chew toy - it was the only topic he could remember with a modicum of clarity and kept returning to it as some sort of centering mechanism.

Biden started fading after an hour; I’d still like to hear how much Adderall they pumped into him to get him to stay upright so long. In the end, the media will scold Trump for elder abuse while giving Biden the tongue bath they feel he so richly deserves.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

If I wanted to watch Grumpy Old Men, I woulda rented the Lemmon and Matthau flick.

Marty in Iowa said...

The Pres shouldn't have interrupted SlowJoe. The more Biden talks, the stupider he sounds. But he let Biden drag him into a screaming contest resembling an 6th grade school yard fight. They both lost debate #1.

Snark said...

Stilt: They warned us about the brown acid...

I couldn't watch the whole thing, it reminded me too much of the Today Show. I give credit to Biden for staring into the camera as he spouted the usual liberal gibberish, though I think claiming that 100 million people have pre-existing conditions was typical Biden. The problem with these debates is the same as with TV spots - most issues are too complex to describe in two minutes. With Pelousi blocking any legislation that doesn't harm Trump, no new bills will pass to help the public, whether healthcare, financial assistance or anything else.

I doubt that any minds were changed, the lamestream media will declare a triumphant win for Biden and that OrangeMan should be assassinated immediately. In other words - same as yesterday morning.

Fred Ciampi said...

President Trump should have not lowered himself to joe's level with all of the interruptions. Biden doesn't need any help from anyone to look and act like a fool. All in all, the debate was a fustercluck. Oh, and Chris Walrus makes a good cheerleader for Biden.

American Cowboy said...

I watched as much of the dee-bate as I could stand. the level of disrespect shown by all three men was appalling.
I would have liked to see/hear Trump give Biteme enough rope to hang himself. The interruptions only played to the left, IMO.
I did though like the way Trump tried to hammer Crazy uncle joe about the 47 years in office he has had, and why nothing has been changed by Bye-den in those decades.
If this continues as it was last night I believe this country is sunk as permanently as the Arizona.
Just my two-cents.

rickn8or said...

It was a complete shit show. After looking forward to it for five months, I turned it off after five minutes; if I wanted to watch/listen to people talking over each other, I'd crank up The View.

President Trump missed a golden opportunity to keep his mouth shut and let Joe torpedo his own campaign.

Mr. President, next time do some preparation and throttle back on the ego.

TrickyRicky said...

The next debate should consist of pistols at ten paces, with Chris Wallace in the middle, just for fun.

Boligat said...

There are some that are urging Biden to skip the next debate. If that happens, Trump should appear anyway and do an "empty chair" routine.

I do think that there is a point to saying that Trump was just appealing to his base with his interruptions and sarcasm, but doing so was off putting to the crowd that thinks such behavior is boorish. So, for the next debate, I think Trump should play to the "polite society" crowd and be nice and solicitous to an obviously impaired senior citizen. Give Biden extra time to answer, be polite, etc. etc. etc. But don't hesitate to go for the throat. Just be polite in the process.

Show everyone that he can deal with anybody at any level.

John the Econ said...

I'll take "Things that aren't possible in our universe" for $500, Alex!

I only watched the first 20 minutes or so before I tuned out. (I was recording it so that I could come back later if the annoyance I was feeling ever subsided, which it did not)

Trump doesn't have the discipline to effectively dispatch both Biden and Wallace as he certainly had the opportunity to do. Wallace was totally out of control, which perhaps he expected going in. It really didn't help Biden any.

I have to agree with @Jim Irre above. Up until March, Trump was queued up for the biggest landslide since Reagan in '84. And even with the Wuhan Flu Recession and engineered social unrest from the left, he would have easily won considering what little of substance the Democrats had to offer. If he had only kept his mouth and Twitter under control, which, of course, is not Trump.

Julie K said...

This. Is. Perfect.

igor said...

Frankly, America lost. Mike Wallace beclowned himself, which was expected. Biden was wired, and drugged, and Trump was his usual self. Also expected.

Now, let's see who's on the campaign trail today, shall we?

Shelly said...

Wallace's questions to Trump were loaded from the left-wing point of view, one even longer than the answer and full of left-wing talking points. And then when Trump tried to respond, Wallace would challenge him and kept doing it as if it were his job to prove Trump was lying. I was very frustrated by the whole thing. I agree Trump should have kept more quiet and let Joe hang himself, but I can understand his frustration. This two to one nonsense is very descriptive of the entirety of Trump's presidency. Joe just repeated his lines which were basically what I call Beltway Babble. We need to come together, blah blah blah. He called the president a clown, told him to shut up and when actually asked a substantive question, refused to answer. His only response to anything was whataboutism directed toward the president. His little speeches were chock full of lies which Wallace conveniently did not call HIM on. Trump tried to tout his outstanding record and was shut down again and again. Of course, the line is Trump is a bully. I call bullshit!

DougM said...

Stilt,
I didn't get to watch the debate,
so thanks for the summary.
I can now go forth with self-assurance
knowing that I'm as knowledgeable
as any campus-dweller

George said...

@Gene

I somewhat agree with your killswitch idea, even though it kinda defeats what a 'debate' is all about. It simply becomes talking points then. But, your idea falls flat when you have a prick like Chris Wallace as the Moderator. He can't stand President Trump, and made that clear a number of times last night. Challenging Trump, but never Biden, etc...If there is a next debate, it is a Town Hall-type meeting so the Moderator should be less of an issue. Why Trump's team would even agree to Wallace is beyond me.

Average Joe said...

There was a definitive difference in approaches Biden went for the prepared answers and Trump tried nightly to explain the big picture to little or no avail. Very difficult to 7nderstsnd what's really going on until one is able to see the old world political BS of the democratic party. Biden was surprisingly lucid however the photos 9f him talking into his cuff and rearranging his body wire explains a lot. Trump must approach debate two cooler and let Joe self-destruct. A simple frisking prior to its start could remove the source of his answers and what fun that would be to watch with Sleepy Joe trying to string sentences together with no handler whispering into his ear.

Judi King said...

Ain't sarcasm grand.

JustaJeepGuy said...


I didn't watch the "debate", but I heard about it. What struck me was that President Trump should have kept saying, "Well, there you go again" to whatever Gropey Joe said. Throwing some Reagan at Gropey Joe would have been something to see. And it would have pi$$ed off a whole lotta Demo_Rats.

American Cowboy said...

Just happened to read the Sloe-joe claimed ANTIFA is only and "idea".

Frankly I kind of like that answer. After all when the ANTIFA goons come at the next armed conservative who shoots them the patriotic conservative should get of scot-free. After all one cannot shoot an "idea".

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Unsurprisingly, reactions to the debate are all over the place, although there's general agreement that it was a trainwreck. I really did watch the whole thing, just to make sure my satirical version was completely opposite of the reality (and it was).

I'm not happy that an extended shouting match is where we are now, but it IS where we are so we just have to make the best of it. I think if Trump hadn't done the "bull in the china shop" thing, Biden and Wallace would both have spit out a lot more lies and venom. Which wouldn't have been any more of a "debate" than what transpired. So what the hell.

I thought that Trump did okay in his amusing/dismaying way. Biden actually seemed pretty lucid, although his talking points were lies and nonsense. Plus, whenever he was asked about his plans he responded by talking about goals - a useful switcheroo if people aren't paying attention. When asked how he'd repair the economy, Joe said things like "by making sure that people can get good jobs and high paying jobs, yada yada." That, Joe, is not a plan.

He told an impressive number of straight up lies, and told wildly distorted versions of everything else. Trump got more right than usual, which was nice.

Still, the event was ugly - even historically ugly - and served as another reminder how screwed up our political and journalistic systems are these days. On the positive side, Clan MacGregor really DID help me survive the evening!

Old Cannonballs said...

You are totally right, Stilt. It was a love fest the likes of which I haven't seen since I dropped acid at the corner of Haight and Ashbury Streets in 1965. Literally "out of sight."

But it wasn't just the debate that has gone so far toward healing the divisions in our country. Professional sports have also played a key role in bringing people together. There is absolutely nothing that says "unify the country" like two national anthems.

rickn8or said...

American Cowboy, Antifa is just an "idea", just like Islam is just a "religion."

B.C. said...

Mr. Nailhead, Meet Mr. Hammerhead.

Stilt, you really need to quit drinking the Clan that you use for your bong water. If not, you'll achieve Nirvana before the rest of us have had a chance for our states to legalize recreational marijuana.

Joseph ET said...

I envision the sound proof booths as seen in the old TV game show The $64,000 Question (yeah, I'm that old, too) being used for many of the pundits in news opinion shows. Can't stand it when they talk over each other.

Maybe President Trump can learn about
"Tact" from Winston Churchill.

And then there's “Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions.” ~Winston Churchill

These are life skills we all need.

Pat Cummings said...

If you were dismayed by Trump, watch the whole thing again (at least until the "renounce white supremacy farce"). He actually does moderately well against the Demonic Duo, but gets lost in the explanations or defense of things that are off the core of what he is presenting.

He does really need to pick his battles in the next debate. @JustaJeepGuy has the right idea: For any ridiculous/fallacious/vicious claim that is not on his specific list to push, Trump could do that head-roll to Biden(or the moderator) and back to the camera that he has used so well in responding to fake news from "journalists." No verbal response, just that gesture. Maybe a "come-on" hand gesture inviting his opponent to dig his own grave along with it.

Alternate that with the Reaganesque response, and he can control Debate Deux even if the Dementia Dem is wearing a wire and earphones...

Pat Cummings said...

If you were dismayed by Trump, watch the whole thing again (at least until the "renounce white supremacy farce"). He actually does moderately well against the Demonic Duo, but gets lost in the explanations or defense of things that are off the core of what he is presenting.

He does really need to pick his battles in the next debate. @JustaJeepGuy has the right idea: For any ridiculous/fallacious/vicious claim that is not on his specific list to push, Trump could do that head-roll to Biden(or the moderator) and back to the camera that he has used so well in responding to fake news from "journalists." No verbal response, just that gesture. Maybe a "come-on" hand gesture inviting his opponent to dig his own grave along with it.

Alternate that with the Reaganesque response, and he can control Debate Deux even if the Dementia Dem is wearing a wire and earphones...

John the Econ said...

That whole "renounce white supremacy" thing was a rhetorical farce promulgated by the moderator; basically a "When did you stop beating your wife" non-question. If I was Trump, I would have gone after Joe for his various white supremacist Freudian-gaffes, asking "Joe, when are you going to renounce yourself?". Or better yet, point out that there was only one person on that stage who actually did work with genuine white supremacists, and it wasn't Trump.

Speaking of, just where are these "white supremacist" meetings I've been told I've been a part of?

Like the "Climate Crisis", "White Supremacy" is just another imaginary straw man to distract everyone from the abject failure of Progressivism and to justify the left's totalitarian ambitions. As leftists and anarchists burn up cities and murder citizens and police, we're all supposed to be scared of this supposed movement that even if it exists, hasn't lifted a finger.

TrickyRicky said...

@Stilton- I love your perspicacious observation regarding how Slow Joe substitutes goals when asked about plans. It reminded me of one of my favorite quotes.


“A goal without a plan is just a wish” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Jim Irre said...

I may go back and watch it again this weekend, and make my wife watch it too. But there will be a pre-emptive conversation before that happens. She thought Mike Walla . . . I mean Chris Wallace (pardon the Freudian slip), did a good job. He was obviously a hack for Biden.

Watching it again would obviously be good for most of us. Having survived the first verbal bombardment should make it easier to sort the wheat from the chaff (and there was a LOT of chaff!). I am hopeful that Trump's campaign staff is able to convince him to let Biden dig his own hole and not jump in with him to help.