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Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Totflix

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, netflix, cuties, barack, michelle, obama, muslim, pornography

By now, everyone has heard about the Netflix film "Cuties," which attempts to answer the burning societal question "can an 11-year-old Muslim girl find happiness by turning her back on family, joining a gang of misfit young girls, learning to twerk, and then grinding her pubic region on the floor in front of an audience while pretending to give a handjob?"

And the answer is no - it doesn't make her happy, although it does teach her how to jump higher than she could before when playing jump rope. No, really.

Many people are outraged that the filmmakers had actual 11-year-old actresses doing things that, in the words of prestigious film critic Mrs. J, "make you want to puke." But Netflix (under the guidance of luminaries like Barack and Michelle Obama) is defending the film by pointing out that its real message is that sexualizing pre-teen children for media consumption leads to nothing good for those girls if you don't count them getting into the movie business. Where, if they act quickly, they might catch the attention of Roman Polanski. 

Seriously, the film is a disjointed mess of largely unconnected and nonsensical scenes, interspersed with wildly inappropriate sexual content (at one point, the lead character goes into a frenzied pelvic-grinding, floor-humping trance state from which she can't be awakened...much to the dismay of a visiting imam).

Whether or not this is child pornography is a subject for the courts. But it's unquestionably bad for kids and bad for what little remains of our culture. And we can't wait to hear the highly-paid Obamas say so.

PLANETARY BODY

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, lefty lucy, life on venus, venus, phosphine

Researchers have announced that they have recently found possible signs of life on Venus, raising the real possibility that the Democrats are going to have to quickly print up a lot more mail-in ballots for our new neighbors.

The scientists involved have based their speculation on the discovery of phosphine gas in the atmosphere of Venus. A gas which is usually associated only with microbial activity (think "itty bitty farts") or human industrial activity (think much larger farts and unions). 

Should further research prove definitively that there is life on Venus, the next step will involve bringing a sample of the bio-organism back to Earth to study in a high-security site with impeccable containment capabilities and controls. Assuming, of course, that Joe Biden isn't still using it to broadcast from.

20 comments:

John25mm said...

I'm sure that Biden is going to give Cuties two nostrils up when he reviews the movie. On another note we can have life on another planet that lives in for want of a better name, farts but a fetus with a heartbeat isn't alive. I'm sure that this makes perfect sense to someone but I'm tired and don't feel like smashing my head against the wall to lower my IQ enough to be able to understand it.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Funnily enough, I had been mulling subscribing to Netflix before this crap came out. Needless to say, I'll be spending the $7.95 a month on something more useful, like a large bottle of Clan MacGregor, which, I have on good authority, doubles as an excellent fuel system cleaner when dumped into a gas tank.

As for Venus, the sooner the entire (D) Party is given a one-way ticket there, the better.

Pat Cummings said...

"We can't wait to hear the highly-paid Obamas say so."

Hope you're not holding your breath, Stilt! Also, consider that for every tot who appears in skimpy spandex on screen for crotch shots and inappropriately sexualized moves, there were hundreds who auditioned those same poses and moves for the middle-aged directors, cameramen, choreographer and numerous other onlookers...

Where the news from Venus is concerned, I'm waiting for someone to point out that its atmosphere contains industrial pollutants—whereupon Greta Thunberg will cry shame on us for ruining the climate of yet another planet...

Geoff King said...

Never had Netflix, never will. Now I wish they would move all professional sports over to that network so I would no longer even see commercials from those poor oppressed millionaires.
As far as the possible discovery of phosphine gas on Venus goes, if so, I am sure it formed from some geological process-not biological. They used to tell us petroleum came from organic sources until the Cassini spacecraft discovered vast amounts of it on Saturn's moon Titan.
With a surface temperature of around 880°F and sulfuric acid rainstorms, any form of life on Venus would be as alien as a non-hypocritical democrat is on this planet.

Fish Out of Water said...

Classic Lefty Lucy.

Bobo the Hobo said...

When I first read about the Obama’s and “Cuties” I immediately thought of Michelle holding the sign that read, “Save our girls”; too bad she doesn’t give a rat’s patoot about American girls.

REM1875 said...

Pretty sure all life on Venus is doomed because we eat meat and drive SUVs ......Tune in to cnn or mslsd for details .......... Women, children and minorities hardest hit !!!
Venusian lives matter !!!
VLM !!!
Defund their police !!!

Fred Ciampi said...

Is our society doomed? Moral standards were set in place for a reason and it seems that certain parts of our society want to change these standards. But for what reason? It can't be good, and I, for one, am concerned. Not so much for myself but for my grandchildren and those who follow. It looks as if our civilization is going backwards. The 1960 movie "The Time Machine" adapted from the 1895 novel of the same name by H. G. Wells, gives a hint about where we are heading. Sad. Will a leader arise to lead us out of this morass? Will it be President Donald J. Trump? More questions than answers. Now, where's my Clan McMoonshine?

TrickyRicky said...

While there may be life on Venus, it begs the oft posed question...Is there life on Uranus?

Sorry, it's one of those mornings and I couldn't help myself.

rickn8or said...

Yes, "...its real message is that sexualizing pre-teen children for media consumption leads to nothing good for those girls..." (and this is what it looks like so you can recognize it when you see it.)

John the Econ said...

This is one of those instances that makes it easy to question the character and corruption of a company's corporate culture. When seemingly insane decisions like this come to light, we always have to ask "Was there nobody in the room who raised their hand and asked 'Is this really a good idea?'"

As @Stilton says, when your corporate board has people like the Obamas on it as their moral compass, who should be surprised? But do you seriously expect a media that still fawns over those two to ask any serious question about this? When stuff hit the fan, the dollar always stopped somewhere else when the Obamas are involved.

And apparently, the "smart people" who go to Sundance were all gaga over this film, so of course Nutflix bought it.

Thanks, Mrs. J for taking one for the team for us on this as we certainly had no interest or intention of subjecting ourselves to this. On the one TV news story I saw about this, defenders of the film argued that all of the pre-pubescent bump-and-grind was necessary to tell the story and make whatever point it was that they were trying to make. This is actually not true. Great filmmakers don't have to rely upon graphic excess to make their points; only the unimaginative and lazy ones do.

Venus has gas: I'm just impressed that Lefty Lucy even knows who/what Venus de Milo is even is. Or isn't demanding that she be taken down for some imagined cultural offence.

Fritzchen said...

In the words of Robin Williams: "It's not the end of civilization, but you can see it from here!"

Colby Muenster said...

Mrs, Muenster and I have subscribed to and enjoyed Netflix for years, but no more. First, they hired Mr. and Mrs. O'Liar and now this garbage? How long before there is full blown (pardon the pun) porn on broadcast TV? A slide into decadence started the fall of the Roman Empire. Of course, nobody studies history anymore, so I reckon we are doomed to repeat it.

@Geoff King,
Please don't portray Venus as such a bad place. Maybe some socialist elites like Cher will move there after November 3! Of course, she's made that promise before and obviously lied.

Alej said...

America started downhill for real when JFK was killed and that maggot LBJ acceded to the Oval Office. From there the Democrat Party ditched the idea of "loyal opposition" and aimed for where it is today. I was born in 1942, graduated from high school in 1959 and really was devoted to my country. A clean country. Seven years active duty on three continents, including SE Asia. I despise where it is now, despite the nearly half of the population being decent. It's only going to get worse, when whites are in the minority , even in Congress. Getting old, now, and won't be sorry to leave the New America.

DougM said...

Venus is just jealous of all the
attention Mars was gettin'

Regnad Kcin said...

I can understand the animus towards the filmmakers. The peds should be thrown to the wolves. But, I have yet to hear any condemnation of the parents who exploit their children for profit. Maybe a good horse-whipping with a lash of concertina wire followed by a vigorous salt rub would be in order. I know there's a special place for them in Hotel Lucifer. I'd be happy to relieve the inquisitor went his arm tires from the exertions of his duty. Where are all the outraged fems and Mooschelles now ?

Anonymous said...

NEXT WEEK will be T-6 weeks to the election and I will vote early. I'll then go into a month & half isolation period free of politics & bullshit news. Also take the phone off the hook a lot; or set to go direct to VM due to persistent polling robo-calls.

I hope to get a lot more done in that time before winter; that includes an annual check-out, clean & lube of the firearms. Deer season is 14 Nov; and I already have the landowner tags; but I'll go though all firearms. After 3 Nov I'm not be going TO any trouble; but think of this as preparation for any post election hissy-fits if anyone very foolishly dares to bring that stuff to me. This is fly-over country and that's what any trouble makers had better do. A great many people around here think the same.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Gosh darn it to blankety-heck! There are lots of great observations and conversation points above, and I'm still in tail-chasing mode and can't really respond the way I'd like. But I sure enjoy reading all of your comments!

Valvenator said...

M. Mitchell Marmel said...
As for Venus, the sooner the entire (D) Party is given a one-way ticket there, the better

MMM, so what is it you have against Venus anyway?
It seems like a nice little planet,
why would you want to pollute it?

igor said...

Okay, so there might be life on Mars. My forlorn hope is that we find intelligent life in Washington D.C. - but, maybe I'm asking to much...
There isn't any evidence in the Media, that's for sure!