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Wednesday, December 9, 2020

Fruit of the Loons

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, pelosi, trump, orange man, pandemic, covid, bitch

So now we live in a world in which working-class people are having their lives and livelihoods destroyed by a ruling class that has enough disposable income to have custom-tailored Covid masks made to match their designer outfits each day. Although in fairness to Nancy Pelosi, health experts tell us that it's important for us to get enough Vitamin C these days - although Nancy is clearly overestimating the benefits from citrus prints on cotton.

Pelosi is at least warming to the idea of finally letting a bit of Covid relief money flow out to the general public, and she's making it clear why she was unwilling to do so previously: she didn't want the American people to have any relief until there was a different president. Because, and we say this with all due respect, she's a horrible bitch.

But unless several miracles happen (and they sometimes do!), there is indeed a different president in the offing. Which is why Joe Biden is nodding his noggin like the useless bobblehead he is while the most radical members of his party are selecting his cabinet members.

One of them is thought to be retired General Lloyd Austin, who would become Defense Secretary. General Austin's main military accomplishment is seemingly his supervision of troop withdrawals from Iraq in 2011, which worked out in less than peachy fashion.

Under a Biden administration, General Austin's main duties would be supervising the distribution of President Trump's Covid-19 vaccine (which is already happening), improving diversity in the military's top ranks, and tackling climate change as a national security issue. Because that policy was such a big success under Obama...

"But wait!" you may say. "Won't Biden appoint someone who knows how to fight a war?" And the answer is that he already plans to do so, by choosing California Attorney General Xavier Becerra to head the Health and Human Services Department, where he can continue his long-fought war against the nuns in The Little Sisters of the Poor for opposing abortions. Which is the inhuman Becerra's only experience in (ahem) health and/or human services. 

25 comments:

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

We survived eight years of Obummer.

I am less sanguine about whether we can survive four years of Harris.

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer and your powder dry.

Jim Irre said...

I was gonna say, "Screw Pelosi!", but that brings up a visual I'd rather not carry around all day.

Now that you all have that visual burning into your brains, don't count Trump out. He still has a couple of options, martial law and a new election supervised by the military being one. I would volunteer for military service again for that!

Fred Ciampi said...

I second the motion for martial law and a whole new election. And moonshine too. So there! And, like Jim Irre, I would rejoin my unit in the USMC. Semper fi.

TrickyRicky said...

The globalist elites and their tools such as female dog Pelosi are now in open warfare against the middle class of this country. They will not be satisfied until we are all wards of the state, whose "employment" is serving them, bringing their groceries, liquor and dry cleaning to their gated mansions. We will not be allowed to travel overseas for holiday, perhaps not allowed out of our home states or counties. The population is too uninformed (purposefully) and placated with Netflix, alcohol and drugs to notice or care.

I pray daily and fervently that God not forsake this country in our time of dire need. It will take a miracle to save this nation, but it took a miracle to form this union by defeating the most powerful empire of the day. It took a miracle to elect DJT in 2016. Now we need the trifecta to avoid a new and limitless Dark Age of servitude to the Soros, Bezos, and Gates clan of overlords.

Daddy Dave said...

I predict that Xavier Becerra will become the General of the new American Death Squad, just based on his record as aggressively pro-abortion and a foe of free speech: Death to babies and death to religious liberty!

Casey Carney said...

Jim Irre and I served together before, and would again in a heartbeat! Bring it on!

Average Joe said...

Never underestimate the preparedness of the general public. We are out here and we are outraged.

Don in Oregon said...

General Austin's other qualifications include being on the Board of Raytheon and Nocor.

If he becomes SecDef it will help maintain control by the Military-Industrial Complex.

Anonymous said...

Hey Stilton. It is "Pelousy" not "Pelosi."

Sortahwitte said...

Quite a few of us have served in the past. Is it time to get the old gang back together?

John the Econ said...

I don't know. I'm currently listening to an interview with a Democratic strategist, professor, and expert on "diversity" about how the nomination of General Lloyd Austin is controversial with the Progressive wing because he's just not progressive enough. He may have to paint his nails and don a tutu if he's going to score enough intersectionality points to make these people happy.

It's all going to be about "Climate Change": As I've been saying for nearly 3 decades now, the Progressive anthropogenic global warming narrative has always been about one thing - declaring that emitting CO2 is exclusively responsible for everything bad that can and will happen on Earth, and therefore demands that the state have authority to control any behavior that is deemed irresponsible in the emissions of CO2. And since there is absolutely no activity in your life from the moment you are conceived until long after you are dead that does not somehow correlate to some emission of CO2, that means literally anything and everything that you do in your life that Progressives do not approve of will be subject to regulation. Outlawing your SUV or house in the suburbs is just the beginning.

So you think that mask mandates are intruding on your personal liberty? You've seen nothing yet. Today my social media feed is inundated with those insipid "Your maskless face is going to kill my grandma, you selfish bastard!" memes. When the Wuhan Flu is eventually done and over with, do you think that the insatiable Progressive urge to control people they don't like will end with it? Nope. They will proceed from the real crisis to focus on the bigger, imaginary one. "Your house heated with natural gas is going to kill my grandkids!". Or, "Do you know how much CO2 is released every time you fire your gun?"

If the Wuhan Flu wasn't enough reason to fully erase your Constitutional rights, the "Climate Crisis" certainly will be.

Your rights anyway. If the behavior of our Progressive betters over the last several months have demonstrated anything, it's that they aren't even trying to hide their Animal Farm tendencies. I assure you that most of us here will not be considered the "more equal" animals.

Xavier Becerra: As I mentioned yesterday, he was a central player in a scandal that had there been a (R) anywhere near it would have been the scandal of the last decade, after Obama's perversion of the IRS, FBI and other agencies anyway. He was also behind roughly 100 phony lawsuits against the Trump Administration, most of which were thrown out prima facie for their utter stupidity. He too is a big "climate crisis" guy. As I said above, there will be no agency of government that will not somehow be coordinated with the climate fascism agenda.

You know, the kind of fascism that Trump was supposed to have in place by now.

Colby Muenster said...

SloJoe (or maybe more accurately, SloJoe's keepers) have released the wondrous plan to defeat Covid! Joe will show us peons what a REAL President would do during a pandemic, by golly. He's going to have people take a vaccine and mandate we wear masks for 100 days. Holy shit! Why didn't Trump think of that? Never mind that we've been wearing friggin' masks for damn near a year, and Trump pushed HARD for a vaccine to be developed in record time.

Did I mention that I pretty much hate Democrats? They ruin damn near everything they touch, then rush to take credit for good things that they had nothing to do with.

@Average Joe,
I'm pretty outraged, but I sure wish there wasn't a hammer and nail shortage.

Question for folks that know stuff...
If the Senate is split 50/50, who is majority leader? Please tell me it's not Chuck You Schumer because KneePads Harris is Veep!

Shelly said...

I just learned that SCOTUS agreed to take the case filed by the State of Texas against the four states who cheated to get Biden enough "votes" to win. The lawsuit is based on a clear violation of the Constitution by changing the voting rules and processes illegally. There is still hope!

Alej said...

"...improving diversity in the military's top ranks, ......."

Nauseating.

Dan said...

@Colby --
Regarding Dems taking credit, it reminds me of this old thing from early in my Army career:

Six Phases of a Project
1. Enthusiasm,
2. Disillusionment,
3. Panic,
4. Search for the guilty,
5. Punishment of the innocent, and
6. Praise and honor for the nonparticipants.

It's held up pretty well.

wr-104 said...

I don't remember where I stole this, but it is worth repeating:

Pelosium: A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Pelosium. Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.

These particles are held together by dark particles called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. The symbol of Pelosium is PU. Pelosium’s mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientist to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass. When catalyzed with money, Pelosium activates CNNadnausium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons as Pelosium.

wr-104 said...

@ Colby
As to your question: If the Senate is split 50/50, who is majority leader? Please tell me it's not Chuck You Schumer because KneePads Harris is Veep!

I wish I could tell you that, but as President of the Senate, she will vote to break any tie votes.

Studebaker Hauk said...

@ Shelly, yes when I heard about the Texas lawsuit I immediately thought of the song from the 90's by the band Little Texas: GOD BLESS TEXAS!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- I frankly don't think our nation would survive four years of a Harris administration. Or a Biden administration either if we lose the Senate. But if we can make it to the midterms, well...

@Jim Irre- Great, now you've got me wondering if Nancy's skivvies match her masks? As far as Trump, I won't count him out until he's dragged out of the White House. And maybe not then.

@Fred Ciampi- You've got my vote!

@TrickyRicky- Very well said!

@Daddy Dave- I think you've probably got Xavier summed up accurately.

@Casey Carney- The Dynamic Duo! Watch out, world!

@Average Joe- Absolutely true. I think the Left sometimes thinks of us as being just like them, only stupid. This is a serious miscalculation on their part.

@Don in Oregon- He's a swamp critter for sure.

@Anonymous- I stand corrected.

@Sortahwitte- The reunion to end all reunions...

@John the Econ- Excellent observations. I'm already hearing WAY too much about diversity and climate change being the top priorities in a Biden administration. And as you so succinctly point out, those are just facades for dictatorial control over everything.

@Shelly- In my state, we're not kidding around when we say "Don't Mess With Texas."

@Alej- If I were in uniform, I wouldn't want to get my ass shot off just because the military's "top ranks" have been packed with transgendered people of color rather than actual experience, training, and leadership qualities.

@Dan- Still accurate!

@wr-104- That WAS worth repeating!

@Studebaker Hauk- I seriously love Texas. It's not just a geographic region, it's a state of mind.

Edam Wensleydale said...

@Alej: It may be time to reintroduce the fine old tradition known as "fragging".

Fish Out of Water said...

And now we learn Hunter Biden is now under investigation by the IRS, and the Harris Administration isn't even sworn in yet!

Could this be what many have predicted, a short Biden Presidency followed by the opening of the "progressive Gates of Hell" Harris as POTUS?

Believe it would be a challenge to write fiction stranger than this.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Colby, I gots plenty hammers, have been collecting nails for ages, and learning how to make more, in certain sizes...

The ass heap of history is littered w/ the corpses of tyrants, who had to learn to fear desperate (wo)men, with nothing left to lose.
I hope and pray we don't have to repeat that lesson here, but if necessary, I can be desperate. And if I have nothing left to lose, look out Snoopy.
People may not be happy to learn they have lost 'the consent of the governed'...

And frankly, I've never been happier to be an adopted Texan. Other than June, July, and August, I REALLY enjoyed the 10 years I lived there (Seriously, walking out of the dorm, on the way to dining hall for breakfast one summer day, and glasses fogged up. Blame it on the AC in the dorm. Wiped glasses, not much help. Yep, 7am, 85 degrees, and effing FOGGY... It's gonna be a GREAT day... )

John the Econ said...

@Stilton, I've been wondering if journalists get paid a bonus for every time they can mention "diversity" or "climate change" into an article. If I were participating in a drinking game based upon those words, I would have died months ago.

@Fish Out of Water, surprise, surprise, surprise! Since this popped up on CNN, I can only assume that the memo went out that it's now safe to release the truth on Hunter and the Biden family circus. I've been taunting my Progressive friends for months that they wish they had this kind of dirt on Trump instead of the phony crap they had to buy from the Russians, or just make up out of thin air.

But the "belly laugh of the day" came from this in the CNN story. (Sorry, @Stilton, you didn't beat this one today)

"Activity in the investigation had been largely dormant in recent months due to Justice Department guidelines prohibiting overt actions that could affect an election, the person said."

Um, yeah, just like this policy was followed 4 years ago.

Joseph ET said...

How long will it take Slow Joe to issue a pardon for his druggie son if Daddy is in fact inaugurated President on January 20, 2021?
Put my down for 24 hours in the office pool.

Colby Muenster said...

@wr-104,
That, my friend, is a true knee slapper!