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Friday, December 18, 2020

Inka Dinka Doofus

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, hunter biden, art, gallery, blowing, China, influence
So to speak...

We finally know what it takes to get major mainstream media to do a story - any story - about Hunter Biden. Oh, not about his being a Chinese tool, or a money-launderer, or being a right-hand man in his father's influence-peddling schemes, or banging his dead brother's widow, or knocking up a stripper and falsely denying that the offspring was Gropin' Joe's newest grandchild, or smoking crack while getting a foot job (not to be confused with a pedicure, but possibly having some overlap with pedophilia).

No, for Hunter to get headlines, all it took was a prestigious New York art gallery to announce that they'll be hosting a very special exhibition of paintings that Hunter Biden has made by dripping ink on paper and then blowing it around with a straw. No, really. Not that this is necessarily the worst use of a straw in Hunter's colorful past.

Critics aren't that impressed with Hunter's output to date, describing the paintings as "generic Post Zombie Formalism illustration" and looking like "Fred Tomaselli started making art for dermatologists' waiting rooms." And no, we don't really understand what either of those criticisms really means, other than that they sound like they weren't penned by Trump voters.

And while we were kinda sorta kidding about the pictures eventually selling to the Chinese for astonishingly high prices, we wouldn't be surprised if the gallery really did empty its walls when buyers arrive from adversarial countries wishing to purchase a little art with a big side order of influence. That's what will make the event, and the artist, a sellout.

BONUS: WORST CHRISTMAS CARD EVER

So this showed up in our mail about an hour ago, from a long-time but somewhat distant friend with whom we clearly haven't talked politics in awhile...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, Christmas, Christmas card, George Floyd, BLM, No Justice No Peace
Face blurred to protect the sender

Seriously, WTF are we supposed to take away from this? "No Justice, No Peace" sounds more like a threat than a wish for peace on Earth and goodwill to men.

Still, with all of the hustle and bustle of the holidays, decorating, buying gifts, the endless playing of Christmas songs, Hallmark movies, and ubiquitous images of Santa Claus, it's sometimes too easy for us all to forget the true "reason for the season." Which is, of course, that when a felon dies of a self-inflicted fentanyl overdose, cities should burn.

But we know our friend meant well with the card, and will hopefully appreciate the one we're sending back...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, Christmas, Christmas card, election, Biden, fraud

26 comments:

Jess said...

The " A look at the artist" articles will really be something to see. With the millions he'll make on his paintings, some poor, ignorant interviewer will cross the line, ask an embarrassing question, and promptly jump off a bridge, with the assistance of Biden's entourage.

Sortahwitte said...

"as fast as he can blow them" really struck my funny bone and also made me suck about a 16oz glass of eggnog down into the one lung that still works. But still, very much worth it. Was it Laurel and Hardy that used to say: "What a revolting development this is." It is isn't it.

Pat Cummings said...

It does make a refreshing change from selling idiotic numbers of copies of a hastily-thrown-together book to a single buyer to account for sudden embarassing infusions of cash into the bank account...

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

As always, Stilton, you have gotten the better of the card exchange...

Hunter Biden promises to be the greatest new artist since J. Fred Muggs.

Maoz said...

Hunter gives a new twist to the term "blow job"

Maoz said...

BTW, is the background of the vote stealer meant to be a cake donut?

Brie Camembert said...

I guess that if Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown and George Floyd can be saints the Hunter can be an artist. (I'm thinking pi55 artist here)

Fish Out of Water said...

Sadly this is probably just a taster of what we can expect gong forward from the administration of the worst electoral mistake since the peanut farmer from Plains Ga's glove puppet, The Honorable William J. Le Petomane.

George said...

Speaking of cities burning....

Make of it what you will:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Fxo6pr5TqP8

Gorgon Zola said...

"What a revoltin' development" belonged to Chester A. Riley/

McChuck said...

NO TRUMP, NO JUSTICE!
NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE!

Come on, people, you know the tune.

TrickyRicky said...

@McChuck-

Hey Hey Ho Ho
Hunter blows and so does Joe

Rinse and Repeat

John the Econ said...

Biden blows for blow!

As I pointed out Wednesday, phony and inflated art may replace phony book sales as the mechanism of choice in Washington DC for pay-to-play money laundering. And it's a lot less messy, complex and has less overhead compared to how the Clinton Foundation operated and not as transparently embarrassing as multi-million dollar wire transfers from Russian billionaires.

If Hunter gets away with this, I'd expect an explosion in new DC art galleries showing undiscovered local talent with (D)s by their name pushing absolutely brilliant kindergarten-grade product.

Worst Christmas Card Ever!: More proof that extreme Progressivism & TDS causes permanent brain damage. "PEACE, No Justice, No Peace"? Really? That's some serious rhetorical, reality and irony impairment going on there. I'd say that this person needs help, but I'm really not sure where I'd send such a person these days as many of the "mental health" professionals I know aren't significantly saner.

I like your card much better, although mine might have been a bit more blunt: My gun collection with the line: No peace? Then justice!. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure that would get me placed on some watch list if this post alone hasn't done so already.

It's also a great example of how Marxist theory demands that everything must become politicized. This year they largely destroyed sports. Now Christmas is under direct attack. Heck, even those mindless Hallmark Channel Christmas rom-coms are now targets for Progressive scorn, because they don't accurately depict the horrible reality of the climate crisis. Because that is what people who enjoy mindless Hallmark Channel Christmas rom-coms really need to see.

Snark said...

The fact that the FBI and the IRS even started an investigation into HB is remarkable. If Traitor Joe pardons his son (which I expect will happen) what will then happen to the agents who instigated the investigation? The ones who started a fraudulent investigation weren't touched. But a real one? Will the media care? Much less the leftists? Their hypocrisy is exceeded only by their hubris.

Social justice worriers generally are beyond hope. Such irrationality must be ignored. Or medicated.

Fish Out of Water said...

@ John: Personally, I feel sorry and have sympathy for those who believe their beliefs are so just, so all-consuming that everything must have a political hue to it. My sense is people such as the one who sent that card live empty, unfulfilling and profoundly sad/joyless lives actually. And like other fools who have proceeded them-some more deadly than others, they will never realize the utopia on earth they seek/demand.

But I am optimistic. Such people will push and push and be annoying to the point that they will be ignored and also become irrelevant.

Noor al Haqiqa said...

Some major Eastern Biden-worshiping media did a post on Hunter's artistry last year. Might have been the Atlantic? Anyhow, I posted lots of photos of his "art" along with the fluff piece because it was so ludicrous. I am sure someone else chooses his colour schemes...

Hunter is just another misunderstood soul in the Democrat machine. Don't believe your lying eyes when you see photos of him at his... er... best... pipe in hand and ladies on his torso... etc etc etc... Just be good Conservatives and pray for him at church on Sundays.

Oh! Sorry. No church stuff for now! If ever again. Just keep him in your thoughts. And remember to love his daddy, the big guy. Not the one upstairs...

Murphy(AZ) said...

"The Chinese are buying them as fast as he can blow them."

I might be thick as a brick, and a lot of times these lines take a fast-track right over my head, but I'm thinking there's a lot more truth in that line than your third panel implies.

Mad celt said...

Be kind to Hunter. He's going to be in charge some day.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Howdy, John, in re gun collections... some 20 ya, it occurred to me I didn't have enough (any) guns, and started "collecting" bought one every month or two, for a couple of years, decided I had 'nearly enough' (always room for one more, right?). My brother (ex AF SP) asked me what all I had, rattled it off... he was all 'shit, we go to war w/ Canada, I'm coming to YOUR place! I approved this message.
Hope he comes if/when we go to war w/ the Left..

Snark - Traitor Joe's, where America is on sale!
Loving IT!!!

Rod - good thing we have a blueprint to rebuild with, even if it's been largely ignored, recently... meanwhile, "When, in the course of human events... consent of the governed," etc..

Mad celt - Um.. yeah, deleted my response before I offended our esteemed host...

REM1875 said...

Unless I am mistaking you have just saved money by not having to send a card to that address next year ........ (however if the don't get the message I guess you could subscribe em ???)

B.C said...

I'm wondering if Karamela Headgiver is pissed that Hunter is trespassing on her turf? She's supposed to be the only one getting rich off of blow jobs in a Slow Joe mis-administration, after all.

The "art" that he's peddling looks suspiciously like Hunter drank different colors of food dye and then stood over the canvas and let his STD-ridden push poll drip all over place, then blowing it around with his well-used coke straw. I suppose he could publish a series in this genre and call it "Gonorrhea With The Wind". Hell, he'd probably win a Pee-Body Award for it.

DougM said...

If anybody knows blow and straws, it's Hunter

ringgo1 said...

@Maoz: Perhaps a sufganiyot would be better?

Maoz said...

Ringgo, I think you missed the allusion to an earlier Stilton graphic

ringgo1 said...

@Maoz, I do remember the earlier cake donut graphic. I just thought jelly would "help"...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Once again, I'm way behind in responding. This time, I'll blame it on the fact that I've already started working on my annual "year in review" post, which takes a lot of time because there's only so much of 2020 I can relive without taking another belt of nerve tonic.

Regarding Hunter's artwork, I wish I had alluded to the fact (and/or linked to a Youtube video) that this is considered an art activity for little bitty kids like preschoolers. He probably picked up the skill in a rehab center while his hands were shaking too violently for basket-weaving.

Regarding my "response" Christmas card, I didn't alter the graphic of the guy running with the votes, so the background was already there. But now that it's been called to my attention, I see a donut there too.