Wednesday, December 16, 2020

North Poll Watcher

Now that the Supreme Court has ruled that Santa isn't allowed to check his list twice this year, Joe "Commander in Cheat" Biden is getting some special attention from the Big Guy himself! 

Perhaps because the jolly old elf wants Joe to stop using the title "Big Guy" when doing business with our nation's enemies...


To take your mind off whatever the heck passes for news these days, and to gleefully annoy anyone who is offended by the word "Christmas," we're giving you a free no-strings-attached downloadable album of relaxing instrumental Christmas music!

And yes, it's exactly the same album we give away every year - because it's our holiday tradition!

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, christmas, manhole steamrising, free, music
Not available in stores. Trust us on this one.
It's the Manhole Steamrising "Complete Christmas Collection" and...what's that? You never heard of Manhole Steamrising? Well, you didn't think we could afford to hire Mannheim Steamroller to record a custom album, did you?! Besides, who needs all of those fancy-shmancy synthesizers when you're trying to enjoy quiet moments with the twinkling lights on your Christmas tree and the tinkling ice in your glass of scotch?

The album is solo harp which is actually played by a real angel (we think his name is "Harold") and consists of 15 soothing tracks of Christmas favorites, two of which are "Adeste Fidelis" and are done (as Basil Fawlty would say on gourmet night) "in two extremely different ways."

It's all perfectly legal, and you're free to share the music and/or the link with as many people as you like. In fact, we encourage you to share! Please! Tis the season! Just click this link to get your download started.

You'll end up with a ZIP file which, when double-clicked, will open up into a folder with your 15 songs in MP3 format. It's our way of saying "thank you" and "Merry Christmas" to everyone who visits Stilton's Place!

Want to sample the music before downloading or enjoy it without downloading? Then just click here to listen to the Youtube version!


M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Ah, but does Santa demand 10% off the top? I think not! ;D

mamafrog said...

Oh man, I truly hate Fawlty Towers, lol. Yes, it is screamingly funny at times but he drives me nuts with the absolute stupidity. Hey! Kind of like current politics! My tolerance for stupid has dropped to dangerous lows, pretty much since...uhm...actual adulthood? Well, I don't really have much of a sense of humor. I mean, I have a sense of humor, just not for stupidity, that just makes me want to hit things with other sharp and heavy things, repeatedly.

REM1875 said...

Perfect......I was just thinking of Manhole Steamrising a few days ago ... Thanks Stilton !!!
and Santa should know what list old joe is on ...... and will be very surprised that president media select harris has plans on addding the jolly old elf to her no fly list .... pronto dandee ....

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the Manhole Steamrising and the laugh from the Santa video. Wishing you, Mrs. Jarlsberg & family a Merry and Blessed Christmas!

Judy in Ohio

Jack said...

Sometimes I feel that somebody is out to get me. I am a deaf person and this morning when I fired up your video, the closed-captions were in Korean. Now I deeply admire the South Koreans for their stellar work in robotics and the North Koreans for their clever work in reduction of population but, c'mon! I got the translation going but fell asleep.

Stilton, thanks for all that you do.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Santa only asks for the occasional glass of milk and some cookies. Although in fairness, that may also be true of Joe Biden at this point.

@mamafrog- I love Fawlty Towers, because the stupidity is deliberate - which I'm not sure is the case in what's currently passing for "reality."

@REM1875- Yeah, Kamala isn't going to want anyone running around loose who has her name on a naughty list.

@Judy in Ohio- Glad you enjoyed them, and Merry Christmas wishes right back at you!

@Jack- As someone with hearing impairment (I use hearing aids), I'm sorry to have tossed you an audio bonanza this morning. The Korean closed captioning is odd - I wonder if you're using a VPN service which conceals where you're based (a good security move) and so Youtube thought you were in Korea? I'm glad you got the translation going, but you wouldn't have really missed much - the Santa video is just a bit of silliness since I can't stand following the "news" lately.

Bobo said...

@Jack...I’m not completely certain on the translation but I think it is...

“Biden sucks. Harris sucks. democraps suck. Trump got screwed in the election.” Merry Christmas, Amerikan Comrades

Murphy(AZ) said...

Listening to Manhole Steamrising. Liking it. Thanks for the head's up.

Colby Muenster said...

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah to all you Stilton's Placers! (Attempting to stay positive right now under the circumstances and inevitable destruction of the Trump economy).

I do greatly appreciate you and your humor and pray you decide to continue this fine blog as long as you can stand it! But, but.... please tell me you don't actually put ice in your MacAllan! Blasphemy!

John the Econ said...

Ah, it's Manhole Steamrising season! Will be working to that later in the afternoon. Thanks for the reminder!

Speaking of Christmas and the Bidens, if you are looking for that special gift for that special someone:

Hunter Biden plans his first solo art show at Manhattan's ritzy Georges Bergès Gallery to show off his ink blowing creations

What can't this guy do? Why didn't the Democrats run this guy for President?

"Hunter Biden, 50, has no professional background as an artist, instead working most recently as a lawyer and investment advisor on a range of foreign deals that have drawn scrutiny from the Justice Department. However, he is currently signing a deal to be represented by Georges Bergès Gallery in SoHo, with a solo exhibition planned for next year, sources told PageSix."

Just like he had no professional background in the eastern European energy industry, or doesn't speak Chinese, but that didn't seem to hinder his success in any way. Hunter makes me feel like such an underachiever in life!

But seriously, for decades bogus book sales have been the money laundering mechanism of choice in Washington DC where someone writes (or has ghost-written for them if they're lazy) a mediocre book that nobody really wants or will ever read, but then sells a million copies anyway. The problem with this scheme is the overhead cost of printing a million books and that the benefactor who buys them is then stuck with a million books they have to pay to get trucked to a landfill. Recently it's come to my attention that phony art sales is now the new laundering mechanism. Phony art has the advantage of being a single high-ticket transaction, and you can easily dispose of the phony art by tossing it in any local dumpster. It also has the advantage in that the quality and value of art is completely subjective. If I was famous enough, I could literally take a dump on a canvas, hang it on a wall, someone with a million in cash could declare it genius and buy it and and the sycophantic world of sophisticated phonies would praise it all. The IRS has a harder job making a case for fraud or laundering here. I have no doubt that Hunter's art will get praised by many. In the meantime, if I were to blow ink on a canvas and try to sell it as high-concept art, the same art world would throw it in the dumpster without the bother of a million-dollar transaction.

Fish Out of Water said...

For reader in the Commonwealth of Virginia, a heads up.

In today's mail was a letter from someone I had hoped had been consigned to the malodorous, cockroach-infested dumpster of history; Terry McAuliffe, who breathlessly informs he will run for governor in 2021 to save the Commonwealth from:

"... a Virginia GOP determined to continue the despicable legacy of Donald Trump, and persistent racism and inequality threaten the brighter future we've worked so hard to build for our children."

To top it off one must supply their own stamp should a monetary contribution wish to be made.

I'll have to admit that one passage, McAuliffe managed to tick all the knee-jerk "progressive" boxes/ring the many "progressive" Pavlovian bells.

Anyone who doesn't recognize we are facing a messianic, quasi-religion in "progressivism" will be swallowed up by it,.

Rod said...

I'll have to let it age a bit & may come up or find better tags for these two; but right now I'm thinking "Cheat" for Joe; (with no title) and when Cameltoe displaces him: She will be the PreSLUTent.

Fish Out of Water said...

I vote from Brie Camabert's glove puppet reference, for that is what he is with the worst electoral mistake since the peanut farmer from Plains Ga. doing the manipulation.

Pete (Detroit) said...

John the Econ- makes sense to me... In terms of famous people who really should NOT do art, may I remind you Jack (Dr Death) Kevorkian
Warning, it's some pretty twisted stuff, folks..

Dan said...

@Anonymous Pete (Detroit) -- Kevorkian paintings -- yeah, no mental disturbance in that "artist."

JustaJeepGuy said...

Gropey Joe is not my president and never will be. Cheating isn't winning. There may have been 80 million votes for Joe that were counted, but there's no way in hell 80 million LEGAL votes were cast for him. Wouldn't it be great if all the Demo_Rats suddenly developed a conscience? Well, it would be great but the chances of that ever happening are as microscopic as the chances of Gropey Joe winning an honest election.

Colby Muenster said...

@Pete and Dan,
...And another disturbed "artist:" Jim Carrey.

Anonymous said...

Much like hunting; We will need to wait a while longer and let the big bucks reveal themselves
up; then bag them.