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The news may be grim, but we'll be damned if we're not going to at least try to put a smile on your face this Christmas! And who better to make that happen than America's favorite sugarplum, Busty Ross!
It would be indiscreet of us to mention what parts of Miss Ross shake "like a bowlful of jelly" when she laughs, but we'll admit to working a lot of Christmas-themed jokes into office conversation lately. For instance, "How much did Santa's sleigh cost?" Answer: "Nothing, it was on the house!"
Sadly, Miss Ross didn't bust out laughing. So to speak.
Let me try again... "Hey, Busty! What do angry mice send each other in December? Cross mouse cards!!!"
Wow. Tough room. But Merry Christmas to all of you! -Stilt
BONUS: Speaking of shaking things up for Christmas, this should do the job nicely!
BONUS: Speaking of shaking things up for Christmas, this should do the job nicely!
58 comments:
Merry Christmas to you and your wonderful daughter. May the coming year be better than the last few. Please God!
Merry Christmas to one and all here @Stilton's Place!
Thank you for this music of the little drummer boy. I really enjoyed it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPdHkHslFIU
this has become my favorite christmas song.
1914. 2 sides of WW1 looked across the trenches at each other and said "that guy over there is just like me. why am I shooting at him?"
Merry Christmas! God Bless us, everyone.
I've been telling dozens of bad (dad) Christmas jokes lately, as well. Here are a few to make you groan &/or laugh:
What happened when the kids ate the Christmas decorations? They got Tinsilitis.
What do you call Santa's little helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
What happens if Santa gets caught in the Chimney? He gets Claus-trophobia.
and my favorite: Why does Santa have 3 gardens? So he can hoe, hoe, hoe.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Blessings to all from Ray in NWPA!
Enjoyed drummer boy very much.
Merry Christmas to all!
Merry Christmas to all, while we can still say so without the neo-puritan, woke police swooping down upon those who dare utter it. I look forward to 2024, as a year of hope when a certain drooling, near-pedophile is definitely thrown out of office and the woke "progressive" hordes are put in full and ignominious retreat.
Merry Christmas, Stilton!
Love you always,
Kathe Houston
Twas EXCELLENT, Eh?
May I suggest the classic tune
Walkin 'Round in Women's Underwear https://g.co/kgs/CJeGrp
Merry Christmas!!
Merry Christmas to you, too, Stilton
Merry Christmas to you and yours Stilt!
A good little tune from one of my favorite Christmas albums
And a wonderful new year!!
Merry Christmas, Stilt
Merry Christmas Stilt! Looking forward to a better 2024.
A very merry Christmas to you all!
Got to admit I like that version of a very sappy song!! It definitely would have woken Baby Jesus up, and the animals, and the town, and possibly the three wise guys too! Merry Christmas and Happy whatever else of the many versions of the holidays to all, may we have peace and joy and love.
Combining bad dad jokes and the spirit of the season:
Peas on Earth
Good Will Towards Men (and Women!)
May God bless us, one and all. Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas to you good Sir, and Peace and Joy to all!!!
Semper Fidelis, Buck
Ahhhh xmas..the only holiday those celebrating it feel the need to apologize for doing so instead of inviting others to join in the festivities.
Try getting your local muslims to feel guilty about ramadan...but rest assured that the way things are going, eventually it's going to be compulsory for everyone to starve themselves for a month or be beaten in the streets for eating a cookie.
For the record, I'm not christian, but free stuff and pretty lights are still fun and I won't burn your tree or stop you from shopping, I might even help you decorate, winter sucks no matter what religion you profess to follow and a break is a break.
Oh, before I forget.... MERRY CHRISTMAS !!! and repeat that in January for the Orthodox version ;)
I'd say Happy Hannukah but that's over, next year they're concurrent.
I'd say Happy Ramadan but there's nothing happy about it except when you get to finally eat.
I'd say Happy Diwali but that's not this week either
I'd say Happy Festivus but that's later
There's probably some other holiday this week but I'm not looking it up although I'd acknowledge it if I saw it.
Celebrate what you want to, when you want to, but never apologize for doing so or threaten those who do.
Today I carry on a tradition my grandfather started when my own father was but a small boy. The cattle get extra hay today, the horses get an extra ration of grain, and old heeler dog gets a day of well deserved rest.
As for Christmas songs my favorite is Silent Night. I still tear up remembering my grandfather's baritone voice singing that as he sat next to the wood-burning cook stove.
Best wishes for a happy day to all, and wishing all a much better new year.
Merry Christmas to you and your daughter. loved the Drummer boy video.
Below Busty's picture it says, "Click picture for larger size". I'm not sure I could handle that.
Merry Chrismas all!
I always loved Silent Night as a kid cause I could sing it...
But now, as a cynical adult and South Park watcher, my favorite Christmas song is...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K40epl0r-Fg&pp=ygUiTWVycnkgRnVja2luIENocmlzdG1hcyAgU291dGggUGFyaw%3D%3D
I hope no one is offended, it's South Park.
Go read some Tickles the Clown, it won't seem so offensive! lol
Greetings from Pahrump (a pum pum).
Merry Christmas to Stilt and all who gather here.
Here's hoping for better things to come.
Speaking as an ex drummer, I really liked the video. A belated merry Christmas to all my Stilton's Place friends! May 2024 bring some much needed sanity and change in The District if Columbia!
@American Cowboy,
Being originally from Wyoming, I loved everything you said. And being a guitar player, Silent Night is my favorite hymn. It was originally performed accompanied by a guitar, as the church organ was broken. Mrs. Muenster (fiddler) play this every Christmas.
Merry Christmas to Stilton, and as others have said, to our friends we meet here with Stilton. My favorite Christmas song is simply all of them!!
Bobo in AZ
@Gee My own personal favorite Christmas song is 'Christmas Time is Here's, from the Charlie Brown Christmas special. Interestingly, heard the once banned a few years ago, 'Baby it's cold Outside' not once but twice on the radio this Christmas.
Banning a Christmas song is right there with banning cold weather in December.
I keep a copy of "Baby" on my laptop, by Haley Reinhart and Casey Abrams; Rose McGowen and her creepy fanboi can go sit on Christmas tree ornaments, they were nobodies before that "It's a rape song" BS and they still are. As a Jew, I really enjoy the Christmas season...who can hate on a beautiful ornamented tree?
@jg, your jokes reminded me of the time my cat was strolling across the room with a piece of tinsel hanging out of her butt. It had gone through her digestive system and was making its way out. Fortunately, this was after real metal had been replaced with the silver plastic ones. That would have been a really uncomfortable situation had it not.
@Stilton and to all of you, I hope your Christmas was wonderful and now onward to the ride of our lives in 2014. Popcorn sales should soar through the roof.
Obviously, I meant 2024. Too much Christmas merriness has clouded my tired brain.
@Shelly, I have scooped some festively wrapped deposits out of my cat's litter box. One time I saw about 6" of icicle hanging out of her mouth. When I pulled it out, it was 18" long. Then I moved all the icicles up on the tree so as to be out of her reach.
@Readers- So many nice messages and all so appreciated! While I'm not religious at all, I certainly enjoy the trappings of Christmas and celebrate the message of Peace On Earth and Good Will To Men. That being said, it was really Kathy who was at the heart of everything that made Christmas magical in our home so, to minimize the pain of loss, Daughter J and I pretty much just treated Monday as a Monday, albeit with more and better food. Lots of memories too, of course, though bittersweet for now. Given time, I hope that will improve.
And here comes 2024! I'm expecting another political sh*tstorm, but I think that's just a given now. I'm just glad we'll all be able to face it together!
BUT... who thought that banging a drum for a sleeping, only hours old, baby was a good idea? Hoping for some sanity to return to the country in 2024. (am I insane for thinking this is possible?) Best wishes for the new 2024 year.
Exhausted from labour
Tired of stopping the donkey from eating the crib matress
Strangers wandering in and out
Finally got the kid to sleep
Know what she needs ? A DRUM SOLO !!!
I was a drummer for a lot of years, even I know better ;)
Have a great new year Stilton!
Your happiness is in my prayers.
Soooo, Coast2Coast (yeah, that old show about woowoo shit, lol) recently posted that Air Force 1 was buzzed by ufo while Biden was aboard. So many questions and thoughts that made me laugh about this article. Were they trying to get the brain back they loaned him? Were they coming to take him for study, a lost cause if you ask me.
@Mississippi Mike- I've always thought the story of the Little Drummer Boy would be more plausible if he suddenly turned into a pillar of salt for being annoying.
@Oldarmourer- If the kid had played "Wipeout" we'd now have an 11th Commandment.
@NaCly Dog- Thank you, kindly! All the best to you, too!
@mamafrog- I think I saw a picture of that "UFO" which appeared to be a stationary orb (or balloon?). Not very impressive, but then, Joe's not a very impressive president. By the way, I really like a lot of that "woo-woo" stuff. Not that I believe all of it or even most of it. But you only have to believe an itty-bitty bit to get sort of creeped out.
@Stilt--yeah, the woo-woo has great comedic value at times. I don't believe or disbelieve but I'm trying to keep an open mind on things. Though some of the woo-woo scares me to death and some just makes me shake my head and roll my eyes. I don't mind being scared but really don't the slasher stuff. I listen to some youtubes that make me wonder, and I enjoy the scary stuff. Honestly don't know what I'd do if I ran up against some of the stuff, though hopefully not wet my pants, lol. Most of regular life is scary enough for me and I'm not medicated enough for anything else.
@mamafrog- I know credible people who say they've seen or experienced some pretty "out there" stuff. I can't say what actually happened but I believe their sincerity. For that matter, I have a few stories of my own. I can't say I'm convinced one way or another, but I'm trying to stay open-minded.
@Stilt--True, true, hubs and his folks among them for me. And my son. I saw something, don't know what or even if but that's okay.
@Stilt--And the weirdest for me, remarks made by my grandkids when they were very young about things in their environment.
@mamafrog- Intriguing, isn't it?
@Stilton and mamafrog,
I saw that photo of the UFO next to an airplane. I'm not an aeronautics engineer, but that plane was not a Boeing 747. AF1 is a 747. I think the plane in the photo is either a DC10 or a Boeing 727; both have been out of production for many years. The engine in the tail is the dead giveaway.
At any rate, if that was a UFO in the photo, it was not next to AF1.
Just trying to show how incredibly smart I am today (grin).
@ Colby Muenster--Thank you, guess the dums wanted to show Biden even appeals to aliens, maybe. It cracks me up they couldn't come up with anything better.
@Colby Muenster- Brilliant photo analysis and it raises my appreciation of the aliens. Interest in Biden would have shown them to be no smarter than we are.
I'm an Occam's Razor kinda guy, and I prefer (to paraphrase) Scott Adams take on the UFO issue: Which is more likely? Extra-terrestrial beings flying around and letting themselves be seen or an out-of-control megastate with a huge media apparatus in tow messing with you to distract you from the real goings on?
Little Drummer Boy: My wife and I always laugh at this one. Because what mother just having given birth doesn't enjoy some kid banging away on a drum in the room and waking up the baby?
If I don't see ya'll before next week, Happy New Year. If you thought this year was interesting, just wait for what is in store for '24.
Okay, just looked at the UFO video. The plane was a KC-10 refueling F-35s that were patrolling the TFR zone around AF1. The "thing" was likely a drone or balloon.
Believe me, the aliens have far better things to do than to follow Biden.
@John the Econ- Then again, it doesn't have to be an either/or situation. There could be actual weird phenomena AND lying dog politicians and media!
Thanks to Mr. Econ for identifying that airplane. I just knew it wasn't a 747.
Regarding UFO's, I've always entertained the possibility that there are aliens amongst us who are effing with us by allowing us to occasionally see a flying object, but not good enough for solid proof. Ever notice the wide array of different sizes and shapes of these objects? There are discs, cigars, stars, spheres, etc. Wouldn't an alien race have similar ships? Are they laughing their alien asses off (assuming they have asses) getting us all wound up, then disappearing?
I also totally agree that, the existence of aliens or not, our beloved gubmint will milk it for all it's got, if it distracts weak minded voters from the politicians themselves.
And another thing....
May 2024 bring much needed change to our country, and change in the right direction. I pray we rid ourselves of at least a few crooked politicians. I also pray the Republicans will grow a set and start taking action rather than just continuously investigating shit.
BTW, today Mrs. Muenster and I have been married for 52 years! She is a saint!
As this very "interesting" year disappears, I want to send thanks and best wishes for the next one to the talented Mr. Stilton. Thanks for the fun and snark you've provided.
Stilton did a duet with AI on Facebook...so funny and also appropriate...I hope he posts it here, but it's the authors decision. lol
Colby Muenster ...
I agree with you, she must be! j/k
Thanks for being so good on a deli sandwich...
As a Jew, I already had my New Years...but for all you unremittant pagans, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Party like it's 123123...lol
It's only 10:30 PM where I am. What is 2024 like for those of you 2 hours to the east of me? Is it any better than 2023 was yet? Hey, I can dream can't I?
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