Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Menstrual Show

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, busty ross, day without a woman, protest

Well, here we go again. Progressives have announced that March 8th is "A Day Without A Woman," a massive protest about women's sacred right to be really angry about something or other, approximately one month after their last massive protest about the same thing. Which suggests that hormones may be involved in the timing, although no man without a death wish is going to say so out loud.

The idea, and we use the term loosely, is to make men (those brutish, testosterone-filled bastards) appreciate women more by making them utterly useless for an entire day. Women are being encouraged to not work (either professionally or in the home), to participate in "pussy hat" marches (with labial flap earmuffs in colder climates), and to "avoid shopping" - which strikes us as ugly and unacceptably sexist behavioral stereotyping.

In fairness, because the "no shopping" rule would be impossible to stick to for 24 consecutive hours, exceptions are being made for the fightin' fems to shop at businesses owned by women or (ahem) persons of color. So social justice warriors can still buy anything on the shopping list from Uncle Ben or Aunt Jemima.

Of course, progressive men (not that we mean to be gender normative, especially when it comes to progressives) are encouraged to participate by "helping with caregiving and domestic chores" for the day. Really?! Frankly, any guys who aren't already helping with caregiving and domestic chores every day aren't men at all - they're just assholes.

So, will the fabric of America be torn asunder by today's protests and, if so, who will do the sewing afterwards? A tough question which we definitely won't voice during the big "I Shouldn't Have To Tell You What You Did Wrong" women's march approximately 28 days from now.

BONUS: EMBED BUGS

The whole question of whether Donald Trump and his team were wiretapped (and the Obama team's denial of same) has just been upended by the latest release of secret documents from Wikileaks.

The whole "Russian hacking" story has been rendered moot by the revelation that the CIA has a program called UMBRAGE which not only allows them to hack computers, but to make it look like the hacking was done by someone else. Like, oh, Russia. Meaning there's no definitive evidence that the real Russia hacked DNC emails at all.

It also turns out that "wiretapping" is soooooooooo last century (which is perhaps why Obama's spokespersons are happy to specifically deny wiretapping) and that the CIA (among others) has the cyber tools to spy on anyone without any need for tapping wires, bugging phones, or planting microphones.

Basically, the intelligence spooks have the technological capability of remotely activating pretty much every phone, smartphone, computer, or smart TV in your home, car, or workplace without you knowing it (and without showing that the device is on) - allowing them to spy using the cameras and microphones you've already surrounded yourself with.

At this very moment, without leaving our office chair, we easily located five video cameras and six microphones (actually fourteen if you count all eight in our Amazon Echo) just waiting to transmit our every utterance to the intelligence overlords in Washington.

Of course, you might say "I have nothing to hide - what do I have to worry about?" We'll be happy to tell you (and thanks for asking). It seems that due to some little "oopsy," the CIA's entire arsenal of cyber-spying tools has gotten into the hands of our nation's enemies and criminal hackers.

Thanks to the "embed bugs" surrounding us, no one is safe from stealth surveillance except the Amish. Which is why if you don't make a regular practice of raising barns, you should be raising hell.

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think the term "wire tapping" is now considered more a generic term for electronic spying,
You can imagine that today's spooks are far more proficient than yesterday's crowd of eavesdroppers!

Judi King said...

If I ran a business that has women employees who didn't show up today, it would be the last day they didn't work for me. How ridiculous is this? I don't need anything at a store today but feel like shopping just to have the whole store to myself. (Just kidding. I doubt it will happen where I live.)

Full Sail said...

You took it to a whole new level of funny and insightful - simply striking. Thanks for publicly and humorously saying what most of us walk around muttering all day.

jim said...

A whole day without bitching or nagging! Now go make me a samwich!

Unknown said...

Thankfully the day without a woman will be pretty much just like yesterday, in the Oval Office.

Geoff King said...

Does that mean we will not have to see Rosie, Whoopie, Meryl, or the rest of the Femi-nazis today?

Fred Ciampi said...

Ah, to be able to push a cart down the aisle at Wally's World and not have to change direction because a nice lady decided to stop in the middle to read all of the labels..... Oh, oh, now I'm in trouble. And, speaking of Amish, one poor Amish fellow is facing prison time for providing his family with homeopathic medicine. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Boligat said...

Fred, the worst part is when the "nice" lady who stops to look at all the labels uses her cart as leverage while she reads the labels on the bottom shelf and has to bend over to see them... and she's heading the same direction as you are.

MDVickery said...

I'm no Luddite, having used computers since 1982. But the idea of deliberately placing a surveillance device in my home and NOT expecting it to be used to spy on me, whether by the manufacturer or anyone else who happens to have some curiosity is more than a little naive. After all, these little "personal assistants" only listen to what is being said ALL the FREAKING TIME! It's like living with an open party line in your home! (For those who are too young to remember, a "party line" was a phone landline used by more than one family. For those who don't remember a "landline"....nm.) I prefer some privacy and if that means that I have to actually reach into my pocket and use my phone to find out the answer to a question rather than just spouting off to the air, then I'll make that extra strenuous effort. And yes, the GPS, microphone and camera is defaulted OFF on that. You can call me paranoid if you want; but if you aren't paranoid by now, it's too late.

Anonymous said...

And you wonder about what they say about tapping into Trump's campaign stuff...

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@MDVickery I think the "defaulted off" is pointless, since it can be controlled remotely by the hackers, anyway. Might as well use the technology.

Per all these rabid wimmins shutting it down for one day... What? There's about 5 total who won't be shopping or working? Like the LGNT community, they are an ultra minority made huge through activism, extremism, a complicit media, and a gullible population. Much ado about nothing...

Emmentaler "Obese Fingers" Limburger said...

Sorry: I guess B is too close to N for my fat fingers. "LGBT community" was my intent...

TrickyRicky said...

Our lives are different from the life of Winston Smith in small, and increasingly hard to determine, ways.

TrickyRicky said...

Oh, one more thing. Busty, you are succeeding!

John the Econ said...

Oh, Busty. Welcome back hon.

A Day Without A Woman: Yes, unfortunately I am without Mrs. Econ today, as I am on most work-days. She's upstairs in her office doing her very important job. (She works for an organization that actually helps people versus marching around in pussy hats or vagina costumes complaining that other people should be forced to work to help other people) But I'll probably see her later and make her lunch, mainly because it's my turn to do so.

Not surprisingly, today's exercise in calorie-free virtue signalling actually hurts women more than it does anything for them. It will be attended mostly by women who are affluent and have to pay little price for interrupting their usual daily schedule, or government workers who would never be fired for ditching work to participate in any Progressive cause, like public school teachers.

Ironically, who is it who that will be hurt most by this? Working women who can't afford to take a day off of work, and yet will have to in order to deal with their kids who won't be at school today. Once again, a great example of elitist feminism actively at war with ordinary women, especially those who didn't take advantage of the subsidized services at UnPlanned UnParenthood.

The women’s movement seems to be annoying lots of women:

“What’s the purpose of a strike when you can’t afford a day to not work? Women who could possibly do this are in an executive-type position. Life will go on for them. Their career is more stable. This screamed white privilege,”...

As with most of these Progressive silly shows, the only thing that people will learn today is how useless these people really are. If your kid missed out on a day of learning so that their teacher could do this, you really have to question the quality of what they were supposedly learning had they been in class.

Embed Bugs: (Awesome title!) Personally, as someone who works in the tech biz, Alexa spooks me, and I won't be getting one. I've been warning people about "smart TVs" that listen 24/7 and then beam whatever they hear off to the other side of the globe for years now. Smartphones are the ultimate spy device, which is not only capable of listening to you in realtime, but can tell whoever is accessing it where you are within feet. You have to assume that anything that is connected to the Internet is capable of spying on you and relaying what it knows to practically anybody on the planet. So absolutely nothing that came out yesterday surprised me in the least. Welcome to the 21st century.

James Daily said...

Today could be a day without junk mail as the postal route I am on has never had a guy on the delivery. Now, the good stuff. Poof!!! That was the Russian/election thing going to dust bin. I believe President Trump understands that the democrats have always been bullies and no one stood up to them. That has changed drastically. When the Wikileaks hit the floor Monday, they all looked like Fred Simpson with a problem. Now, I read that the former president is "furious" with President Trump on the leak accusations. I Could not be happier that the Muslim Patriot is getting his comeuppance. There will be bloodletting including slashed wrist. Thanks Stilt for good stuff. (Oh, in Mondays cartoon, small error: The fan is waaay too small after the Wikileaks bombshell)

Hank R said...

It's now postponed till tomorrow. Apparently it's taking them a little longer to get dressed.

Geoff King said...

Let us not forget, on this International Woman's Day, that Glamour Magazine's Woman of the Year in 2016 was not even a woman, but was none other than What's It's Name Jenner.

Shelly said...

Number One: As a woman, I am outraged at these progressive pinkos and their shenanigans purporting to represent me. Stop giving them any attention and if they don't show up for work, fire their sorry asses.

Number Two: Is the Fourth Amendment completely dead? Thank God we still have the Second Amendment because the way things are going, we are going to need it.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Vaguely recall a movie chase scene from a bit ago, "they" were trying to ID / locate someone (hero, villain, don't recall) and had one group looking at all the traffic cams, and another using cell cams / mikes to run them down.
Roommate - can they DO that?
If not NOW, SOON for sure...

and he wondered why I have tape over the camera on the laptop...

Agreed, if you're not paranoid already, it's FAR too late...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- I agree that the term "wiretapping" is now considered to be a generic term, but when I hear Obama's team denying wiretapping I think they're being quite specific and deliberately misleading. Sort of like when Bill Clinton denied having "sexual relations" with Monica Lewinsky because in his legal opinion his shenanigans didn't quite fit the exact definition.

@Judi King- Might I suggest that employers who have employed women are already showing their support and appreciation of women? If I had a female employee skip work today, I'd fire her in a heartbeat. Not because of her politics, but because she's shown herself to be unreliable.

@Full Sail- Oh, I walk around muttering all day too. Scares the neighbors. (grin)

@jim- How could the lefties not think we'd be making such jokes today? Or is it their ploy to trick us into revealing our blatant sexism?

@Unknown- Now THAT is freaking hilarious!

@Geoff King- One can only hope.

@Fred Ciampi- You've hit a pet peeve of mine when it comes to grocery aisle blockers. What drives me the craziest is Asian ladies (not being racist, just observant) who actually turn their carts sideways across the aisle while meditating about what product to buy.

And regarding the Amish guy facing jail, it's an appalling case of government overreach. Or am I being redundant?

@Boligat- That's usually when I make a U-turn.

@MDVickery- I've got two Amazon Echo devices in my home, and it's their job to listen to me all the time and relay information out on the Internet - so heck yes, I assume they're capable of spying on me (along with a dozen or so other devices). This would bother me a lot if it weren't for my clever defense of being almost unutterably boring in real life. Seriously, I pity anyone monitoring what I'm up to. Moreover, if anyone wants my controversial opinions they don't need to bug me - they just need to read the blog!

@Anonymous- Trump would be wise to assume that everything is bugged at all times. As would we all. We can hate it, but we can't change it.

Colby Muenster said...

The local talk radio station I listen to every morning was offering help for us poor men who are totally rudderless on this day with no womenfolk. You could call in and listen to random audio clips of nagging. "Take out the trash!" "Clean up your mess; you're such a slob!" "Stop watching Fast 'n' Loud; Oprah's coming on!"

Yes, I am going to burn in hell...

Seriously, Mrs. Muenster thinks this non-event is dumber than a bag of hammers, and we both scratch our heads that there are people in the world who actually think this is a great idea, and can't wait to participate. All 53 of them...

The latest Wikileaks dump was a real eye opener! I think we all knew that the CIA, NSA, FBI, etc. had really great ways of spying on us, but damn! The only way to have a private conversation is maybe in the middle of a 500 acre field... maybe.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Emmentaler Limburger- Striking a blow in support of strong, conservative women everywhere, I just returned from shoe shopping with Mrs. J.

@TrickyRicky- It's so ironic to me that libs are now buying copies of "1984" (albeit probably not reading and certainly not understanding them) under the notion that it speaks to the Trump administration.

And yes, Busty is handling the "striking" designation very nicely.

@John the Econ- The fact that schools closed down (creating trouble for working women with kids) certainly wasn't lost on me. This is disruption for the sake of disruption. And I had to laugh when reading somewhere that women who have the financial largesse and leisure to take the day off, they'll also be striking for those women who can't take the day off. I'm pretty sure that's not how a strike works (is the employee at her desk absent by proxy?), and absolutely sure that these privileged women don't see themselves for the jokes they are.

Like you, I wasn't surprised by the Wikileaks revelations. I'd heard most of this in other places before, and simply take it as an unpleasant fact of life that all of us can be spied on at any time. While it's not ego-satisfying, the truth is that the greatest defense most of us have is that we're too unimportant in the big picture to bother with.

@James Daily- Anything that makes Obama furious is something I'm in favor of. And at this point, the preposterous story about Russia hacking our election just needs to stop. Russia (and countless other players) probably hacked Hillary Clinton's and John Podesta's virtually unprotected emails - and BOTH of them should have known better. In Clinton's case, especially, she was practicing criminal negligence at best - though I still believe the truth is worse.

@Hank R- And we have a winner! Take any prize from the bottom shelf!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Geoff King- I believe Jenner will have his/her own march coming up to mark "Day Without A Weiner."

@Shelly- I celebrate women every day and demand equal rights for my wife and daughter. Which isn't that hard, since they already have them. I agree that today is simply another embarrassing display of "look at me" virtue signaling and foolishness.

Regarding the 4th Amendment, it may not be dead but it may now be largely obsolete. I hate that, but the cyber-genie isn't going back in the bottle.

@Pete (Detroit)- I don't think that kind of personal monitoring is fiction anymore. Heaven help anyone who gets on the "radar" for close attention by the Feds. And not just because they can spy on you (like I said, I'm boring), but because they can destroy you - financially, emotionally, or even physically - with those same tools.

@Colby Muenster- There was a time when I wrote comedy bits for radio. I would have been all over a ripe opportunity like this one!

And as far as that private conversation in the middle of a 500 acre field, I'm pretty sure that satellite cams are good enough now to deliver a usable image to government lip readers. Or, failing that, directing drone fire just to take someone out for trying to get off the grid.

Fred Ciampi said...

Remember 'Get Smart' back in the last century? They had a "Cone of Silence'. All we need to do is get one of those. Problem solved.

James Daily said...

Pete: Those were the Matt Damon "Borne" movies. Yes the CIA was hacking everything.

Anonymous said...

Tin foil, lots and lots of tin foil!

Dan said...

As we used to say in the ASA*, "In God we trust, all others we monitor." And that was in '67 and I'm confident it was in use before then.

*Army Security Agency.