Friday, October 6, 2017

Frankly, Sinatra, I Don't Give A Damn

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, las vegas, shooting, nancy sinatra, firing squad
Hard to believe she's still using air that should have been Tom Petty's.
Following the horrific massacre in Las Vegas, decrepit former entertainer Nancy "These Boobs Were Made For Sagging" Sinatra has come up with a brilliantly simple way to permanently end gun violence in our nation.

Specifically, she wants all five million members of the NRA to be lined up against a wall and shot to death by firing squads. Granted, this would have absolutely no effect on criminal gun violence in our country, but the massive domestic holocaust would at least temporarily slake the bottomless blood lust of those on the Left and (bonus!) get them to support funding for Trump's really big wall so they can have someplace to line up so many citizens.

There could also be a positive little bump in the nation's textile industry which would need to quickly provide five million blindfolds to those who would rather not accidentally gaze on Nancy Sinatra's smug, withered visage before they're executed.

Since Ms. Sinatra is clearly clueless, we'd like to give her one: genocidal fascists like you are the reason that good people want guns, and the reason that the NRA exists to protect them from your murderous, anti-constitutional impulses.

BONUS: NO DOOR PRIZE

Jeld-wen, jeldwen, doors, windows, condensation, crap, rip off, caveat emptor, buyer beware, low-e glass, POS
Actually, "Fog" wasn't the first F-word we thought of...
As a quick followup to Wednesday's post, here is our new super-duper, energy efficient, double-paned back door from Jeld-wen.

We have been informed by Jeld-wen that the door is functioning perfectly despite being obscured by condensation (currently on the outside of the door, but which will conveniently fog over on the inside come Winter). No other glass in the house is doing this.

One might think that consumers would buy a glass door for the purpose of, oh, seeing through it - but Jeld-wen assures us that such consumers are drooling idiots of the type not protected by any warranty ("The fault is yours, sir, for buying the wrong product"). Because according to Jeld-wen, the true purpose of glass is to prevent deadly global warming-induced ultra violet radiation from penetrating into our home in case the world tips on its axis and our north-facing door is suddenly getting blasted by direct exposure to solar rays from Canada.

To their credit, Jeld-wen acknowledges on their website that condensation can be a problem. They even have a video which suggests that the condition can be mitigated by turning up the heat on your furnace and pointing an electric fan at the condensation (in our case, by running a fan outside). These are, charitably speaking, odd ways of attaining "energy efficiency."

A less than helpful representative of Jeld-wen assured us that there is nothing we can do other than to accept this interesting quirk of their excellent product, and we suppose they're right. And just to prove there are no hard feelings, we'd like all Stilton's Place readers who are considering building, remodeling, or doing window replacement to think first of Jeld-wen doors and windows if they've previously found their utility bills to be too low, and standard glass to be just too damned clear most of the time.

64 comments:

rickn8or said...

Ooooh. The years have NOT been kind to Nancy.

S. B. Sweeney said...

Will this nonsense really help their bottom line? We're obviously missing the technicalities of this wonderous door.

Mike aka Proof said...

Stilton: "What's wrong with my door?"
Jeld-wen representative: "Havin' the foggiest!"

"Jeld-wen" is a Ferengi word that means, ""We've already got your money!"

That sucks. Mention their name a few more times. A day. For life.

pdwalker said...

but the massive domestic holocaust would at least temporarily slake the bottomless blood lust of those on the Left

100 million ish dead in the last century says that you can never slack the leftists blood thirst, even temporarily. All you can do is prevent them from getting the power to allow it to happen, again.

As for the door - man, that sucks. Caveat Emptor. Looks like you got burned this time. Energency efficiency my ass. The condensation says, your brand new door is leaking energy to the outside.

Anonymous said...

Tell Nancy that all of the door folks are founding members of the NRA and they are out to get her.

Keith said...

She still alive? or is that an animated wax museum exhibit that got too warm? Does she also work customer service for Jeld-Wen?

Anonymous said...

Have you tried painting OVER the glass? Just sayin'.....

Mike aka Proof said...

Stilton: if you’re truly hosed on the door, maybe you could try Rain-X, or one of those car windshield defogger products. It might mitigate the problem a bit.

Anonymous said...

It's better as a door than a window.

REM1875 said...

It's an old Irish custom to take the front door off the hinges and place it horizontal on chairs, lay the deceased upon it and party hardy for 3 days......ask them to send a rep over so that you can introduce them to this quaint useful charming custom with them as the guest of honor....this will do 2 things-- first it will make you feel better and second the door will be useful at least once.....

Granny said...

One day, hopefully for your sanity's sake this will all be a bad dream. one day.
Meanwhile; REM1875 has an excellent idea regarding the foggy door.
Draping Ms Sinatra's desiccated person over it would also be a nice touch.
(My God, she has not aged well has she?)

Bobo the Hobo said...

Does Jeld-wen have any idea who they are messing with?

Fish Out of Water said...

'These boobs were made for sagging, that just what they do. One of these days these boobs are gonna.....' ????

Jim Irre said...

Should have asked. I could have told you to stay away from Jeld-wen.

As for Nancy, you'd look like that too if you were the, ahem, center of attention at all those mob parties!

Barry said...

I note with interest that the Fog is on the LEFT of the photo.
BTW since the Jeld-wen rep is obviously talking through his fundamental orifice, perhaps you could ask him to angle his butt to keep the door pane clear!

James Daily said...

On the door, might think about filing a complaint with the TX AG. They do not look kindly on folks scamming Texans.
On old Nance, looks like someone did a happy dance on her face with golf spikes.
How you are keeping some semblance of sanity is a genuine miracle. The contrast of the door glass and the window is amazing. I cannot believe there is a company with the gall to tell you that you have lying eyes.

Unknown said...

as a retired remodeling contractor I NEVER EVER used Jeld-Win. Your contractor must have "an in" to get these units cheaper and make additional dollars on the sale. Pella is where to go.

Wahoo said...

Once a raving beauty (arguably), now just raving...

Thomas Beechler said...

Nancy looks like she was swung at and missed, shit at and hit. She could join the group known as "four on the floor" two 80 year old go-go dancers.

Judi King said...

I say.....replace the door with a better one.

Anonymous said...

The solution to the door fogging up, is infuse unicorn gas in between the glass panels..., eeze-pezee, should work perfectly after that. Next problem?
Huck

Jerome Boyle said...

Note: Sent you column RE: door RE: function RE: crap to the El Jazera Door Co informing them that (at least in the wilds of Nebraska) you are rather well thought of. That's the good news. The bad news, they have a really kick'in good web site, so you are probably screwed.
notquakingintheirGuccisinOmaha

Jerome Boyle said...

i HAVE STARTED IT! DO IT NOW! WRITE, TEXT, E-MAIL JELD-WEN: FREE STILTON JARLSBERG!

Jon said...

Hope this helps - https://twitter.com/thewrightman/status/916280733093781504

Geoff King said...

Perhaps someone should remind Nancy that her own father was a staunch supporter of Ronald Reagan - a lifetime member of the NRA.
Per the door fog issue, I googled it and found this article that recommends drilling holes in the glass, if it is not safety glass (which your door most certainly is). The only other recourse is complete replacement:

http://www.networx.com/article/how-to-fix-condensation-in-double-pane-w

Anonymous said...

Should have gotten Anderson

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Damn! I thought Hanoi Jane said that. Easy to get confused between the two saggy socialists, I guess. Or I'm moving into the realm of Rocket Boy's dotards....

Did you buy that door yourself, or did you pick it out from a selection presented by your contractor? If the latter, have them rip it out and replace it with a real door. If the former, have them rip it out and replace it with a real door. I've only used Jeld Wen doors for windowless interior doors with no issue. I now know to avoid their entry doors (didn't even know they made 'em!). A company should stick to what they know, methinks...

Love the wall lizard, by the way...

@Fish: "...sag right down to my shoe." and the bass goes: Ba-doomp doomp bah doomp doomp bah doomp doomp bah doom...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- I appreciate all of the sympathies, support, and gentle razzing about that damn door. The good news is that it's not that fogged over ALL the time...just when there's enough humidity on one side of the glass for condensation to occur.

To the best of my ability to understand, the door is not actually "defective" - it just sort of sucks in a high tech way, in much the same manner that I discovered my new shower hardware contained government mandated limiters to make sure that the water couldn't get too hot, or the water flow too powerful. In this way, the government helps people avoid the dangers of becoming too clean or too relaxed.

To comprehend the miracle of the foggy door, we need to look at the properties of "low-e" glass (from all manufacturers - not just Jeld-wen). One side of the glass is coated to reflect heat away, the other side of the glass allows heat to pass through unimpeded (think of this like a one-way mirror in a police station, with heat being the face of the rapist you're trying to identify anonymously). On a double pane door (or window), the heat-reflective surfaces are on the far inside and outside, while the glass surfaces forming the "air lock" between panes allow heat to pass through unimpeded.

So what we're seeing in the picture is this: the heat contained between the panes of glass leaves easily, and the reflective surfaces keep more heat from warming the air space. This means that the air space assumes the temperature of my air conditioned interior (or whichever side happens to be colder) and transmits it to the other side. If humidity is encountered and the dewpoint reached: voila! Play Misty for me.

The reason none of my other windows fogged over is because, lacking low-e technology, the exterior glass actually warms up to match the exterior heat - ergo the dewpoint was never reached.

Mind you, no one at Jeld-wen could explain this worth a darn, preferring the snippy quip to actual knowledge about the product. So no "save Stilton" campaign is actually warranted here...it's apparently my own damn fault for assuming that "low-e" glass was a good thing instead of an enormously annoying thing.


Regarding Nancy Sinatra, I just have to wonder what in the living hell is wrong with some people. Anyone with a semblance of humanity should react with horror to what happened in Las Vegas, rather than suggesting that the proper response to innocents being shot is to shoot another five million of them. Sieg heil, baby.

TrickyRicky said...

Stilton, as per other commenters, I would replace the POS door with either Pella or Anderson. I have had great luck with both companies. My parents purchased a house outfitted with Anderson windows, which were one year shy of warranty expiration. Many were fogged or had other problems. Anderson replaced every window in the house at no cost.

The Sinatra comments reminded me of a liberal friend who, under the influence of adult beverages, told me that every Trump voter should be forced to wear a red MAGA hat in public. I looked her in the eye and said "that's been tried, about 80 years ago, with yellow Stars of David". That ended the conversation.

John Canfield said...

This was very timely as we are preparing to descend into the deep dark chasm of self flagellation by starting remodeling and an addition to our small but poorly built ranch house. Jeld-Wen - that's even a stupid name for a business OR a door.

As far as Nancy Sinatra, as a Vietnam Vet (Tan Son Nhut AB 1971-72) I still remember the black and white film of her cheerfully sitting on the NVA anti-aircraft gun while my brother-in-arms were dying a couple of hundred klicks south of her. My disgust for her is indescribable (and probably illegal.)

Anonymous said...

Stilton,
Easy and less costly solution is to replace the glass.
I'm a contractor, 30+ years in the business.
Go to your local glass shop and have them simply replace the glass.
Ned2

Fred Ciampi said...

Slept late today so I didn't get to comment like all the others about nancy. However, I must say that most Hollywood types age well. She, on the other hand is uglier than a mud fence.

John, that was her good friend jane. They're like two maggots on a turd though.

Don in Oregon said...

When you remodel again in another 30 year: Anderson doors. Give you something to look forward to!

Anonymous said...

I just renewed the metal seals on 60+ yr. old Anderson windows & installed new quality storms from Larson. No "lo-e" to it. I call it good enough for N. Iowa where it can get -20 & the wind blows all the time. No fog either. Stopping air infiltration is the trick.

John Canfield said...

"...John, that was her good friend jane. They're like two maggots on a turd though...."
Oops, mea culpa. That's correct. If I had a face like that I think I would learn how to walk backwards while stooped over.

Sortahwitte said...

A heads up to nan-bag. If you plan to shoot me, be advised I will return fire.
By the way. Very nice backyard. Just don't look through the door. Maybe a nice set of blinds.

Greg said...

Does she not recognize the irony of wanting to kill all the members of the NRA with those EVIL GUNS she despises so much? Seems drowning or machete would be more in keeping with her philosophy.

Or she could parade around naked in front of them and they'd kill themselves!

Dick Lowman said...

If you get fed up with that door and decide to buy one that works let me know. We built our house two years ago and installed a door very similar to that one. The door included a mini blind sandwiched between the glass that can be operated with a slider, but as I recall the door can be purchased without that option. Here in S Idaho we had extended periods near zero last year and the glass remained clear. As I recall the door was in the $500 +/- range. I don't recall manufacturer but if you want I can dig through our file drawer full of receipts and find it.

Bobo said...

Perfect opportunity for your local Pella dealer to gather great publicity by replacing the door at little or no cost to homeowner. I for one will never-ever buy a J-W door now.

A business builds its customer base one person at a time, but loses six customers when one customer becomes dissatisfied with the business and tell his friends about the experience.

John the Econ said...

Once again, an amazingly self-unaware Progressive who had no problem calling Trump a fascist also has no qualms about advocating the exact same kind of thing an actual fascist would in fact do.

Seizing citizens guns and then lining the people up who didn't voluntarily get on board with your agenda and shooting them? Hmmmm. Over the last hundred years, just what kind of ideologies were they that was actually did that kind of thing? Hint: It wasn't gun-owning conservatives.

Hey Nancy, s*** like this from self-relevant-only has-been morons like you are why Trump won. Please keep it up. Every moronic utterance like this pushes another 100,000 or so people further to the right.

Micro-insulation Windows: I've lived in high-humidity environments, and even had cheap big-box-store-kinda windows on my home, and never experienced that kind of thing. Bet they're "Energy Star" certified, too!

Too bad you didn't include a link to their web site. I'm sure that feature is figured prominently.

Fred Ciampi said...

Here you are. From Fred-the-trouble maker (I'm being kind)
http://www.jeld-wen.com/en-us/

Anonymous said...



As an architect, I've never heard of Jeld Wen, and generally our specifications are open to multiple manufacturers. I can assure you that the windows is not functioning properly if it is in fact a double paned window as the temperature is from the interior is making its way through to the outer pane, so the window seals have been broken.

I've been cautioned in the past that if a double paned window is filled with gas (typically Argon) between the window panes, that you have to pay close attention on where the window manufacturer is, and the location of the project. If the truck delivering your windows has to drive through the mountains, there's the possibility that the window seals will break and release the gas.

If you know an architect in the area, or have one working on your home get them involved in contacting the manufacturer. Since they may specify their products on other projects, the Jeld Wen reps will get them fixed. They're treating you poorly because a.) they're obviously not a good company with a good product & b.) because they view you as a single purchase person and they don't care if you ever buy from them again.

Gpa J said...

Nancy needs to crawl back under the rock she came from.

About the door, I have Pella argon-filled windows and sliding doors and have no problems with fogging. I would ask Jen-Weld to come get their door and give me a refund.

Terry Nixon said...

I would probably file a small claims action against the company and the business who sold it to you. Include replacement labor costs. It will get worse...It will turn milk-glass cloudy in due time. One of the two panes is not sealed properly.

Companies who make crap like that need to be "Outed!" Thanks for doing that!

Whoopie said...

The space between the glass on that door should be filled with dry inert gas like nitrogen or argon and hermetically sealed. If there's enough humidity inside to fog up sooner or later mildew will form between the panes and cover the glass with slime.

I'm thinkin' the remedy will be found in small claims court.

jlw said...

i agree with everyone who says that you are not being treat correctly. however, i found this site, by Bob Vila, that seems to say that you are. i submit it for informational purposes only

https://www.bobvila.com/posts/19768-window-condensation-outside-on-some-windows-not-others?page=1#.Wde7rWhSy01

good luck with resolving the issue

Regnad Kcin said...

All I can say is "Caveat Emptor". Who conned you into buying that steaming turd ? I'd have their ears on a pike and their back acct # posted on the 'net. And Ms. Nancy is further proof that inbreeding is not the answer. She looks like twelve miles of bad road and should lay off the botox......

Fritz Brohn said...

This boob was made for squawking, she's gonna squawk all over, EEEuuww!

Mark Pugner said...

Are there any cracks/seams along the outer edges of the door you could caulk AFTER the fog has been cleared/dried?

Shelly said...

I'll bet Jeld-win is not aware that you are a widely-read blogger and have poisoned the minds of all your readers against this thoughtless company. And we all have friends and family whose minds will be poisoned and so on and so forth. A good company will take care of all of their customers. I just recently bought a piece of furniture from Rooms to Go and after it was delivered noticed a defect. I contacted them and without question they agreed to replace it. That's how you keep customers.

Your back yard is very nice. It makes me want to do some serious landscaping on mine.

Old Nancy is just emblematic of the left these days. They seem very emboldened too as they assume everyone agrees with me. Hint to Nancy, et al: we don't!

JustaJeepGuy said...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Nancy Sinatra go on USO tours to Vietnam with Bob Hope? She's obviously gone off the deep end since, if she did tour way-back-when.

Also, it needs to be repeated that @Stilt's door is not fogging up in between the panes, but on the outside and inside.

OpenTheDoor said...

The humidity is so high where I live my eyeglasses fog up when I walk outside, you can hang meat in my house.
My windows are double panes and when the humidity is high, they fog outside, never have fogged inside.
The old aluminum framed windows and doors would fog up between the panes, THAT would be a problem.
Count your blessings, it could be worse, it can always be worse, trust me.

John the Econ said...

Speaking of Hollywood Values: Remember that guy who the Obama's sent their daughter off to intern with after she did her time with Lena Dunham? Turns out he's a perv, and everyone in the hip circles (except the Obamas, apparently) knew it.

That's right, yet another thought leader from the crowd who proudly lectures America on its faults, both real but mostly imagined is exposed as a exploitative misogynist creep. It's just more fodder for my argument that most Progressive angst about the social ills of America aren't really about America, but about projection; They're shallow creeps and associate almost exclusively with fellow shallow creeps. But since they also think they're the "enlightened ones", they assume that the rest of America who is not them are even worse, so they need to lecture us.

“How do I get out of the room as fast as possible without alienating Harvey Weinstein?” Ms. Judd said she remembers thinking.

So Ms. Judd, what did you do? Clearly, nothing that might have harmed your career because this nonsense went on for another 20 years. No wonder you're such an angry feminist whackjob. Also a self-serving one; You had no problem shouting out Trump's misogyny when doing so was absolutely no threat to your career.

"In public, he presents himself as a liberal lion, a champion of women and a winner of not just artistic but humanitarian awards."

Of course, and he'll continue to do so. Why? Because as we've seen with countless others, there's absolutely nothing a Progressive can do to permanently trash their careers as long as they're faithful to the Progressive agenda. Once the dust settles on this, he'll make some virtuous money-losing movies about rape or global warming that nobody will see, but his peers will applaud. Like with Bill Clinton, some high-profile feminists will stand on his behalf and laud his commitment to women's causes. And he'll funnel lots of cash to the next Democrat star. And everyone will pretend to forget what happened.

MAJ Arkay said...

We have Pella double-pane low-e windows on east and west, and regular double-pane windows and doors on north and south (huge roofed porches there. No fogging ever. Our electric bill dropped over 50% when we had these put in, which is saying a lot for the Texas Hill Country.

Have added Jeld-Wen to our black list of products to never, ever buy.

Terry Nixon said...

Perhaps we should all send Jen-Weld an email telling them how we will never buy their products because of their lack of support and warranty.

http://www.jeld-wen.com/en-us/products/exterior-doors

Another horror story: mythreecents.com/reviews/jeldwen

Judi King said...

OMG... that video of Ashley Judd! What country does she live in? She's beyond nasty, besides being insane. Why does anyone care what she has to say? I personally don't even know why she is supposed to be famous. What has she done? Just asking

As for Nasty Sinatra.....she never had any talent, just a famous name so now we're supposed to care what she has to say. I think not.

Bruce Bleu said...

Stilton, is that straw on Nancy's head? Her "song" was the worst ever played on the radio, constantly in the LA market because of her dad. Her "song" to music is like speech from Sheila Jerkson Lee or Maxipad Walters is to sentient life.
regarding your plumbing, there is usually a restrictor in the head below the washer. looks like a stainless steel washer. Pop it out... you get flow. The temperature setting is a bit more challenging... pull off the handle on the valve, (the water may need to be turned off for this). There is a "cam" that needs to be loosened, depending on the make, and the cam re-positioned so the setting is adjusted for more "hot" water in the mixing valve, I think it's typically counter-clockwise. Tighten the cam, replace the handle... doneskis.

Hank R said...

Re: air that should have been TomPetty's

At first glance I thought that was a picture of Tom Petty. Gotta agre with Rickn8or, the years have not been kind.

jlw said...

@ Judi King

Ashley Judd's filmography as long as you asked

https://www.ranker.com/list/ashley-judd-movies-and-films-and-filmography/reference

i've seen a few and as an actress she is ok, imo. her politics will keep me from ever paying to see her.

Judi King said...

@jlw: Thanks....I might have heard of or seen a few of these movies but only a few.

SgtPete said...

Write a nice letter of the issue with your pictures to Jen-web, however send copies (CC) to the BBB, Federal Trade Commission, and your state's Attorney General and Jenp-web state's AG if state is different. They may be able to disregard you but the feds and state(s) bureaucracy will make no response to your claim cost effective (business hate to respond to government organization, bureaucrats never die). If they do nothing, then write a second letter re-stating the events, but this time in addition to the BBB, FTC, and AGs, add your local paper(s) (bureaucrats hate this). This has always worked for me. If service or product is defective, then you have a right for correction, else that organization will not be around. This works on restaurants, hotels, airlines, box stores, and internet sites. The printed word as you know is stronger and such copied will cause pain until corrected.

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

Here's a technique for getting action out of big corporations that I've used successfully: Find out who the maximum big cheese (sorry) is, that person's home address, and send a personal letter to that home address. I was having a problem with a national bank-issued credit card that couldn't be resolved through normal channels, despite being repeatedly told it had been resolved this time. The phone started ringing about 48 hours after I sent the letter; every vice president of the bank was calling and grovelling and asking what they could do to keep my valued business.

Terry Nixon said...

Yes that is a great idea!!

Burner said...

If that was whiskey, not water, you'd think that was the best damned door ever made.