Wednesday, October 25, 2017

The Jarlsberg Diaries: Mental Scrapbook

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, pictures, collage
You'll want to click on the picture to see a larger version. Or not.
A normal post just wasn't going to happen today. We were busy moving things from one place in the house to another and sorting what will stay or go (a process which will apparently continue for all eternity), and when we finally sat down to work our old coal-burning computer decided to repeatedly freeze.

By the time we got it working again, we only had a short time to come up with something - almost anything - to share today.  We'd already showed you our record collection, and doubted you wanted to look in our sock drawer.

And so you're getting a brain dump of the sort of images we have cluttering our computer desktop (which may explain why it's started choking). All of them are meaningful to us for one reason or another, which we'll now kinda sorta explain (going left to right, and top to bottom):

1) A moody picture of a tree in the night. Or is that a man carrying too heavy a load?

2) Something which really hasn't made its peace with being served in a can of gravy.

3) The spooky butler who greets our visitors at Halloween.

4) A poster for a hilariously bad movie that we've been trying to find again for years. A classic!

5) Our robotic monkey head and our feet. And like they say: "big feet...big shoes."

6) A t-shirt which absolutely captures the essence of being a writer.

7) Our father (who arts in Heaven).

8) Penny, the official dog of Hope n' Change. "I'm not ON the furniture if I'm IN the furniture!"

9) Quacky the terrifying, balloon-twisting duck-billed web-footed clown. Nightmare fodder.

10) An updated social justice version of "The Little Red Hen."

11) A scary tornado picture. We're somewhat obsessed with tornadoes and other weather porn. Living in a trailer in Indiana for a few years will do that to you.

12) A man floating between skyscrapers while holding balloons. Because we'd like to do that.

13) A picture we took at Universal Studios theme park. This is the entrance to the Barney the dinosaur attraction with Norman Bates' "Psycho" house sitting threateningly behind it. Whatever you do, kids, don't take a shower!

14) A melancholy woman with a bear. Because we all have days like that.

15) The most needed service in America.

That's it for now, but we'll try to be back on track on Friday. And if not, we'll at least try to quickly find some more interesting socks to show you!


JustaJeepGuy said...

What's that? A hilariously bad movie with Randolph Scott? Randolph Scott?? (Takes off hat and holds it over heart)

Unknown said...

I recognize the bear picture....

Lionel Verney said...

Hey Stilton ~ found you a copy of Paris Calling in eBay at the link

Regnad Kcin said...

What Fresh Hell is clawing its way out of the gravy can ? I won't sleep for a week after seeing your pic of Pennywise emerging from that container of overcooked b├ęchamel......

awayuma said...

Who wants a two-bit brain?

Snark said...

NOW we know where liberals get their brains! There should be another sign advertising "Abby Normal" ones.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@JustaJeepGuy- Randolph Scott is fine in "Paris Calling" but the overall production is wonderfully, laugh out loud bad. Basil Rathbone is a Nazi who calls his girlfriend "Sweepers." The girlfriend is secretly sending information to the allies by a telegraph the Nazis can't find...because it's one of the piano keys she plays nightly in a club (and no one notices that she's working messages into her songs). The rank and file Nazis have Brooklyn accents. Randolph Scott parachutes into this mess, pretty much landing in a woman's bedroom. He forces her to sit in a chair (at gunpoint) while he climbs in her empty bed to sleep. When he wakes up, she's in love with him.

@S. B. Sweeney- It's not impossible I've used the bear picture here before. I've always liked the woman's wistful quality, and the bear's consoling Paw on her shoulder.

@lionel verney- Holy cow and thanks! Now the question is whether I want to cough up $21 (with shipping) to see this turkey again, or just continue to endlessly scan Turner Classic Movies in hopes it returns.

@Regnad Kcin- I have no idea what's in the gravy can, how it got there, or what was supposed to be in the can. The writing on the can looks Russian, so maybe this is some tasty Chernobyl salmon.

@awayuma- Granted, a two-bit brain doesn't sound impressive - but it's still better than nothing.

@Snark- I think the "Abby Normal" ones are reserved for hunchbacks who use a horse-drawn wagon in the drive thru.

txGreg said...


If it helps your decision process at all, you might consider asking the seller on eBay if the DVD he's selling is an "original" disc from a publisher, or if it's on a DVD+/-R. Might not matter to you, but based on his description, I'd suspect the latter.

AmyH said...

Since its a Russian can, it looks like a snapping turtle foot (paw?).

Shelly said...

Dear Stilt, you will have plenty of political talk for your next issue, provided the computer cooperates, with the bombshell announcement the Clinton campaign and the DNC paid for the Russian dossier on Trump. The biggest campaign dirty trick ever. It makes the "scandal" of Don Jr.'s meeting with a Russian look silly in comparison. I pray she doesn't skate on this one.

Colby Muenster said...

Great compilation! "Alex, I'll take potpourri for a million." Seems I remember seeing that version of Little Red Hen before and I think it was on that right wing extremist website, Hope'n'Change!

You nailed it. But we all know they used our quarters to pay for their brains. No way a Liberal is going to spend so much for something they barely use.

That would be sweet to see the old witch finally get what's coming to her, but I'm not holding my breath. I'm betting this gets absolutely zero coverage in the so called media other than maybe briefly mentioning it as another vast right wing conspiracy, then moving on to real stories like Melania's horrible shoe choices.

Judi King said...

@ Shelly: If only. Just remember, whoever testifies against her will probably be a victim of Arkancide (as my brother, Geoff, calls it).

Colby Muenster said...

Oh…. Did anybody catch the whining, pity party speech from Jeff Flake? He apparently wants us to see him as some sort of martyr, boldly taking a stand against incompetent Trump. All I see is a big fat baby who was getting ready to get trounced in the primary. Good riddance to him and little Bobby Corker.

NVRick said...

@Colby Muenster

Get your facts straight.
That's 'Liddle' Bobby Corker.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

At least a two-bit brain can count from 0 to 3 (Yeah, I know - there are only 10 kinds of people in this world - those who understand binary, and those who don't...)

Isn't that a picture of the Russian bear assuring Hillary of her brilliant future while still in her youth? Only mere decades after being named for someone who hadn't done what she claimed caused her parent to name her for him, I mean? Seems that bad ol' bear is happily clawing her to ribbons these days. Never trust a bear, I always say - especially Russian ones.

@AmyH: Being an avid Snapping Turtle Hunter Elite (That means we use baited traps and our brains instead of baiting with our own body parts and , apparently, not having brains. Or most of our teeth. But I digress...), and having butchered and feasted upon many of the delectable beasties: that ain't no turtle part. Looks like some kind of fish - or, perhaps: gar - jaw. Note the backward-curling fangs in that mutha. Classic aquatic predator. Aside from that, the can looks like it is only supposed contain mushroom gravy...

@Shelly: Opposition research, dammit. OPPOSITION RESEARCH!!!!

Colby Muenster said...


I'll channel Shrillary and blame someone else. Dang spell check!

mamafrog said...

Well, I got sympathy for the sifting and moving. We just moved from a 3 bedroom house to live with our son. Three bedroom still, but less room (as in 1 for us and whatever we carve out of the rest of the house). I'm going through nearly 40 years of kitchen stuff, so there's a lot to get rid of there at least. It's just all the stuff in the garage that has been in storage for most of the 40 years, and when I'm through with that there's the stuff we brought with us when we moved. And best of all, hubby threw his back out moving some of the stuff. I'm the official box shifter now, but at least I break up the really full ones before moving.

I was going to ask wtf that toothy crittur was in the murky soup, but someone explained that one, thankfully. It still gives me the creeps and now I'll worry what's in cans for a long time. Thanks for that picture.

Your Penny looks like one of my idiots. She's a lovable dog, but I just don't need 90 odd (very) pounds in my lap, and the licking, because she's an emotionally needy puppy still. But I do love her. She and our other dog are adjusting well to the weather in Oklahoma. We've already had some thunderstorms and they were very confused, but okay. (They were born in Washington state, not so many noisy thunderstorms there.)

And really, tornadoes, the official pastime of Okies is standing on the porch during severe weather and watching the tornadoes. And waiting for the earthquakes. They scare me, but you can at least hide from them.

You should see my desktop if you think yours is bad, so much stuff. Another thing I get to sort out one of these days.

Sarthurk said...

The bear's got a strangely long tail....?