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Monday, February 26, 2018

Month Upon a Time

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, black history month, lefty lucy

Okay, we don't particularly have anything against Black History Month, but we didn't want this short month to pass without mentioning it - and slamming liberal hypocrisy at the same time. Because we genuinely believe that many liberals live their lives by the philosophy Lucy demonstrates in that last panel. After all, what fun is virtue signaling if no one is watching?

And because we're actively filling space today, here's a cartoon from the vault on the subject...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, black history month

Of course, February isn't the only thing sputtering to a halt. The Winter Olympics in South Korea have finally drawn to a close and, despite the American team wowing the world and making our enemies cower by winning gold for "curling," we have no regrets about missing the whole darn thing.

Because despite the many events done in extremely different ways (as Basil Fawlty said on Gourmet Night), they all strike us as being variations on a single pointless theme: doing the hardest thing possible on a slippery surface without falling down.

So why not at least make events that people can really relate to, like having athletes race up iced apartment stairways while carrying grocery bags? Or seeing how fast athletes can use snow shovels to clear driveways? And why in the world is there no snowman-building competition?! No wonder television ratings stunk this year.

Of course, there are other ways to make the Winter Olympics interesting. Like by holding them in the summer. We present our case below...

38 comments:

Section147 said...

That dirt bike jump was the coolest thing I’ve seen all week. Well, other than Dana Loesch calling out all of the hypocrites at CPAC.

Fritz Brohn said...

Please God. Don't let Eddie (The Eagle) Edwards see this. It was bad enough on skis!

REM1875 said...

Next time how about virtual signaling off an alpine cliff ...i'll watch that... hell I might even tape it .....

Geoff King said...

Here in Northern Arizona we have had one of the mildest winters in history. However, just as the Olympics commenced, we finally got a dose of the "Old Man" with almost a foot of snow.
That kicked off our own version of the games when all the flatlanders from Phoenix raced up here to play in the white stuff. I literally mean raced because most of them have absolutely no clue how to drive in it and their excessive speed fills our ditches with their vehicles.
This leads to those of us locals with 4 wheel drive participating in the "I'll pull you out for $20 to $50 event".

MMinLamesa said...

His landing wasn't as soft as he would have liked but it was the best he was going to get with those huge coconuts.

James Daily said...

Wow. This one might cause the late Evel Knievel to have a bit of jealousy. I am sure had the thought of this jump crossed his mind, he would have tried it. Now, we will see innumerable nitwits attempt this.

Judi King said...


I don't watch the Olympics. I thought they were to promote world peace which is a farce. I might watch if the dirt bike jump was an Olympic event. It was more fun to watch.
Loved the peanut butter cartoon....truth hurts.

Rod said...

Biathlon is interesting. I have an Anschutz Metallic Silhouette 22 and admire the good & quick shooting after all that extremely aerobic XC skiing. On the other hand a possible explanation for Curling is those long dark winters up north make folks crazy. The more sane folks get outside and race their dogs or snowmobiles.

TrickyRicky said...

My wife and I both grew up skiing, and our favorite sport on television is World Cup alpine racing. We have both loved watching the Olympics since Innsbruck in 1964. This time around was a huge disappointment for us. The political posturing, the horrible NBC backstories, the endless figure skating all turned us off. As per Rod, biathlon is great, combining skiing and shooting, and we watched all of the alpine races, but what a flat edition of the games. I hope that this is not the future of this event, another fine tradition with great memories ruined. Hell, it's Monday to boot. Scowl.

Fred Ciampi said...

We didn't watch very much of the Olympics but I did have a favorite event: The female world champion skier who boasted that when she won the gold medal she would not go to the White House like all the other gold medal winners ... and she bombed. Yay.

And for the biathlon, I want to see Marines skiing down a steep slope shooting at targets with high powered rifles. That would be fun to watch.

Samuel Price said...

I'll try not to be critical Stilt since one subject I never did teach was English BUT. What the heck is a "drit" bike? In seriousness, keep up the good work, I wait for you and the "Gouge" w/great anticipation. Meanwhile, I'm off for my daily ration of peanut butter.

Rod said...

A follow-up: NBC Olympic coverage sucks as usual, but really: Who can explain the constant repetition of the same dozen or so annoying TV commercials for over two weeks? Is this perhaps a deliberate Madison Avenue strategy; or they couldn't sell the time to anyone else? How about just show more of the INTERNATIONAL competition?

Walter L Stafford said...

What is a drit bike?

Fred Ciampi said...

A drit bike is almost like a dirt bike except that it flies through the air with the greatest of class.

AmyH said...

I had a bunch of Curling competitions scheduled on my dvr for the first week and was slowly getting through them. Then the political stuff started and I deleted what was left without watching and did not turn on NBC or any affiliate the whole next week. Forgot to watch the Opening Ceremony, looked up for the repeat, saw it scheduled, recorded and when I watched it was nothing but figure and downhill. Erase. I wish someone else would get the rights to broadcast. I am tired of NBC telling us what we will watch. There are so many sports and its always the same few. Then the constant jibber jabber just to hear their voices.
I hope NBC's ratings for the last 2 weeks is in the tank.

Anonymous said...

As a dyslexic, i i konw exaclty what a drit bkie is!

Anonymous said...

A drit bike is a dirt bike after going down a ski jump.

Geoff King said...

Google to the rescue! Drit is a Norwegian word meaning excrement, or more precisely: sh*t.
Which is probably the exact word used by that biker and all spectators.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=drit

Alfonso Bedoya said...

There must be something obviously latent with me, but the star of the entire charade IMO was Johnny Weir. The "guy" was more feminine than ice-skater co-host Tara Lipinski, and he showed it by wearing that diamond thingy in "his" mile-high pompadour at the closing ceremonies. Watching Weir perform on ice again would have been frosting (pun intended) on the overblown Olympic cake, and far more entertaining than having to endure the Canadian kid (Jocelyne Larocque) who will be remembered for nothing other than her spoiled-brat removal of her silver medal on the podium.

Boligat said...

Best thing about the Olympics? Hmmmmm.... Well, first of all, watching Lindsey Vonn not win gold... or silver. Next, Adam Ripon ripping on Pence over something that never happened and then not even placing in the top 5 in his event. He did win a bronze, but it took the rest of the team for him to even get that. Then there was watching Lipinski and Weir make fools of themselves. That was fun, for about three seconds, then I switched channels.

What could have made it better? Hmmmm.... watching Vonn not win anything and crashing on all of her runs. A tangle of skis, ski poles, orange netting and big mouth. Not even seeing Weir. Watching Ripon fall on every jump and then crying like a baby and having Pence help him up and offer a handkerchief to blow his nose. Watching Shani Davis get to carry the flag and then trip and fall on his face on international TV. Yeah... that would do for a start.

That and maybe seeing Eddie the Eagle again.

Sortahwitte said...

It seemed as if the whole world, televised and un-televised, was intent this week on making the normal people; yes, that would be us, cringe. Boys and girls, can you spell "hip-po-krit?

Pete (Detroit) said...

One of the 'advantages' of living here is access to Canadian TV (CBC, out of Windsor) If you don't mind the Canadian focus, they do a lovely job w/ Olympic broadcasting, and it's mostly hockey and curling. Go figure.
LOVE to watch curling, I'm always tempted to look up the clubs here (there's a couple) but never do...

As for the bike jump? Oh HELLS no!

John the Econ said...

Black History Month and The Olympics: I noticed last night that his teammates once again snubbed black speed skater Shani Davis and instead chose blue-eyed blonde cross country skier Jessie Diggins to carry the flag in for the closing ceremonies. Racists!
Davis pulled the "black history month" card when a tie led to a coin toss that he lost for carrying the flag in for the opening ceremonies. Clearly, that did not endear him to his teammates any more than his dismal skating performance had.

Years ago, I actually felt bad for Davis when he was a rising star, because all the media could talk about was the fact that he was black in a sport that has historically been dominated by white people. It had to be tiring when the first question any reporter asks was always "How does it feel to be the first black Olympic speed skater?". Now, he's just an ass that's poisoned his career. Sad.

As for the Olympics themselves, Mrs. Econ & I enjoy them, and the winter games far more than the summer version. In the summer games, (with the exception of the shooting competition that gets zero coverage because, well, "guns") most athletes are "aged out" of their sports by 20 or 21. The winter games are chock full of people beyond their 20s, which gives hope to us older folk.

Speaking of guns, I love biathlon, because it combines two activities that I've partaken of but can't imagine doing well together; cross-country skiing (exhausting) and precision marksmanship, which is hard enough when your heart isn't racing at 180 beats a minute. Fortunately, the Progressives haven't yet been able to destroy that sport.

Also, in an age when the media has us convinced that all young folk have zero patriotism and scorn for the flag, it's touching to see kids tear up with pride as they stand on a podium when their national anthem is played and the American flag is raised.

And considering the respect that Canada had already lost with that Progressive icon ass-wipe Trudeau, a humiliating loss at hockey and curling seems like appropriate signs of a country in decline.

Garet said...

Hooray!!! Lefty Lucy is back!!! She reminds me of my grand-daughter except my kid has brains and beauty. She wins beauty contests and gets academic scholarships.

Shelly said...

I must admit I enjoyed the Olympics. I went in only intending to watch figure skating but found myself totally engrossed with the snowboarding events. Who knew? I recorded the primetime coverage each night and fast forwarded through the ads and the events I didn't want to waste my time on, like speedskating. Going around and around in a small oval is just plain boring to me. That being said, the heavily promoted athletes mostly did poorly, with a few exceptions like Shaun White but I did enjoy the ones who won without expectations. All in all I enjoyed it but it was way too long and I'm happy my regular "shows" are returning.

Walter L Stafford said...

Geoff King cleared the air about a drit bike! Thanks! I can now resume my normal program! LOL

Gee M said...

Truly...remembering how proud people and our athletes used to be to be Olympians.
Real amateurs competing with the world's best, making friends, and showing the Soviets and Commie CHina how good just a citizen could do...maybe that's just the impression of a little kid growing older in a different time, before pro-ballers went to the Olympics and medals equaled big money.
Now, with the Left indoctrinating so many young'uns in hatred for all non-assclowns and Conservatives I, after watching the crash-and-burn antics of the New USA athletes and political pundits, wish Norway the joy of winning the most medals and feeling some national pride in doing so, and wish to impart some words of wisdom to the Americans on the Lefty Olympic Whine team this year...you should look both ways before crossing that street; getting run over by a steamroller is quite painful and will leave marks.

I DO believe in the Trump Curse, I do, I do!

(Liars and Whiners and pervs, Oh MY!)

Mike Wallster said...

“But I don’t think we’d get credit for it.” Bingo. Brilliant.

Susan Guck said...

HOLYGAMOLYMACKINOLY!!!!!!!!!! That wudda made me ballz hurt.....if I had any ballz! NYUCK NYUCK NYUCK

Susan Guck said...

Eh Walter..if ya been around the internoodle a long time ( like moi) you have larned to read and understand the international language of TYPO.......shrug

Susan Guck said...

ANONYMOUS.......as to yer comment about dyslexics........DYSLEXICS OF THE WORLD UNTIE!!!!!!!!!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Section147- And just like the dirt bike jump, everything that Dana Loesch said went over peoples' heads.

@Fritz Brohn- Still, we can dream...

@Geoff King- See, that's what I hate about any ice/snow driving here in North Texas. I learned how to handle it in Indiana (ie, don't go out if you can avoid it, stay slow, and no sudden moves) but the yahoos around here go barreling down the road at high speed and, if they feel a skid starting, just plant their foot on the brakes. Yikes. I do NOT want to be sharing the roads with those folks!

@MMinLamesa- Now that you mention it, he MUST be packing some pretty serious weight down there. Which perhaps keeps the bike balanced in flight.

@James Daily- I sincerely hope that nitwits DON'T try this...unless it gets on Youtube.

@Judi King- I can appreciate little bits of athleticism, but I'm just not a sports guy. And just the risk of hearing from social justice warriors keeps me from tuning in most mainstream entertainment.

@Rod- I'll grant you that Biathlon is pretty cool. And clearly it's difficult to ski and shoot at the same time, as I've seen James Bond fleeing from such circumstances on multiple occasions and the shooters can never hit him.

@TrickyRicky- Sorry the Olympics disappointed you. And it being Monday, I won't salt your wounds by saying "yeah, the world is pretty much going to hell."

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Fred Ciampi- That was one of the weird dynamics of this Olympics; anti-Trump athletes who shot their mouths off, causing many of us to root against them in competition. I didn't need that.

The Marine biathlon would be great, though! And give them paint guns to shoot at running human targets!

@Samuel Price- Sadly, the Youtube clip I shared was labeled "Drit Bike" by whoever posted it, and I had no ability to change it. And yes, "Stilton's Place" and "The Daily Gouge" make a pretty good morning combo!

@Rod- I'm not sure about the commercial situation, though it's never good to run the same spot into the ground through overuse.

@Walter L Stafford- But in a larger sense, what isn't a drit bike?

@Fred Ciampi- You're right! Video doesn't lie!

@AmyH- My first exposure to curling was in the Beatles movie "Help!" If I recall correctly, the stone (the tea kettle puck that slides down the ice) was replaced by a smoking bomb which the Beatles proclaimed to be a "fiendish thingy." (Note to self: watch HELP! again soon...)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- I believe it's called a "Drit" bike because the rider in this case has rhyming Tourette's syndrome - and when he first gets airborne he's yelling "Drit! Drit! Drit!"

@Geoff King- I'll be darned, we've all learning something here today. Which pretty much amounts to a miracle.

@Alfonso Bedoya- Johnny Weir does present a rather striking appearance. But can that pompadour fit on the front of a box of Wheaties?

@Boligat- Exactly. When the most enjoyable part of the show is watching people on your team lose because they're a**holes, I'd just as soon watch something else (like "Broadchurch," Season one, which we've just started binge-watching on Netflix!)

@Sortahwitte- They say if you cringe too long, you'll stay that way. And I may actually be proof of that.

@Pete(Detroit)- Glad you got a different perspective from our Canadian neighbors. And I think it would be fun to try curling, especially as I'm told that consuming beer on the ice is considered the norm.

@John the Econ- Good points throughout. And I agree that it's sad to see young people peak too early (or blow their moment in the limelight) and head into what will likely not be glory days.

And I agree that when we see real patriotism and American pride from our athletes, it's a wonderful thing. I get tears in my eyes, and I'm man enough to admit it. Of course, I also get weepy watching "Lady and the Tramp." No, really.

Finally, I agree that Trudeau is making himself look like a complete clown these days. And I'm enjoying it.

@Garet- Lefty Lucy and Busty Ross will always be here. In my heart of hearts, I'd like to think that Lucy will someday wake up and see the error of her ways. And if not, well, her youthful idiocy is at least entertaining.

@Shelly- Glad you enjoyed it! I'm sure there would have been many parts I'd have enjoyed if I'd watched. And that's not only because I'd probably be drinking.

@Walter L Stafford- I think we were all biting our nails waiting to clear up the "drit bike" mystery.

@Gee M- I, too, believe in the Trump Curse. I don't know how it works, but we keep seeing it again and again.

@Mike Wallster- Thanks, Mike!

@Susan Guck- I wish we could have heard his voice at the bottom of the run. I'll bet after hitting the ground, he sounded like Alvin the chipmunk.

Jason Anyone said...

That dirtbike jump really hit close to home. Or, close to "Close to Home".

http://www.gocomics.com/closetohome/2018/2/26

:-)

graylady said...

Just thought of this re your low carb diet. Have you cut out caffeine? COMPLETELY? Caffeine blocks the process that makes the low carb diet work. I know it's an evil thing to do to a coffee addict but it does make the difference if you eating the right stuff and still not losing weight. Good luck.

Colby Muenster said...

Then there was the dyslexic agnostic; he doubted the existence of a dog.

A real knee slapper, right?!

The Olympics: I used to LOVE the Winter Olympics back in the day. For me, it started with Franz Klammer, the downhill skier from Austria. We didn't care that he wasn't from the USA; he was just a class act. Of course, you want your home country to do well, but it was also cool to watch other athletes. Now it's become so damn political, it's lost it's luster. I was especially put off by the so called Russia ban. What total bullship! "You can compete, but we're not raising a Russian flag or playing the Russian anthem." Crimony... Another prime example of PC gone wild.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately the great GWC didn't invent peanut butter. He did manage to save southern agriculture and devised lots of uses for peanuts, just not peanut butter