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Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Deja Virtue

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, starbucks, racism, lefty lucy, busty ross, chick-fil-a

If you found yourself having difficulty buying your overpriced addictive drug of choice yesterday, it was likely because 8000 Starbucks locations had closed for the day in order to help their employees learn not to be KKK-loving bigots who have trouble differentiating between a latte and a lynching.

Or at least, that's pretty much the implication when a major corporation feels the need to take (and promote) such drastic actions. They're practically screaming "Mea Culpa," although can't actually do so because using Latin in front of people who've had only a poor public education is also considered racist and non-egalitarian and sexist if a blond says "what?"

But in complete candor, we find much that is admirable about the training Starbucks is paying for. Not because it will do any more good than hanging up a sign with The Golden Rule in every location, but rather because we have such appreciation for the con-artists who are teaching the baristas how to deal with their unconscious bias. By definition, it will be impossible to see results - which is the tastiest scam we've heard since the idea of charging $7 for a cup of java.

The "unconscious racial bias" instructors might as well be charging each location $2000 to scare away invisible tigers. Can anyone prove their services aren't working? And is the web domain for InvisibleTigersBegone.com still available?

Of course, the real purpose of the training isn't to aid race relations. Rather, it's a very expensive bit of well publicized virtue signaling intended to showcase the idea that Starbucks is absolutely, positively, not racist when it comes to overcharging suckers for coffee.

At least, not consciously.

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, starbucks, racism, lobster boy, logo
Carnies have feelings too, you bastards.
BONUS: ABC-ING YOU!

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, roseanne, cancelled, valerie jarrett

Well that didn't take long. ABC has abruptly cancelled the new "Roseanne" series owing to an allegedly racist tweet sent by the show's star.

The tweet in question suggested that Valerie Jarrett, Obama's Iranian-born puppet master, was the offspring of the "Muslim Brotherhood and the Planet of the Apes"...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, roseanne, cancelled, valerie jarrett

Was it a stupid and tasteless joke? Sure. But was it really reason enough to cancel a successful TV series, especially with Barr quickly offering an apology? We don't think so.

Rather, we think ABC was relieved to be able to dump the show in part because it was successful. And they were further tickled to be able to slap the "racist" label on this "pro-Trump" show which wasn't so much pro-Trump (the show was still overwhelmingly liberal) as it was pro-working class. A class which the liberal Left doesn't really like to get noticed, as the plight of America's working families so clearly reflects the cruel impact of the Democrats' countless political failures.

Personally, we thought the show was okay-ish...and it was the only network show we'd watched in years. If Starbucks was running the network, we presume that Roseanne might have gotten scolded for unconscious racial bias instead of canned.

But then, that wouldn't allow ABC to label all of the show's fans and all of Trump's supporters as racists, would it?

39 comments:

Greywuff zfavrr said...

FOX ought to pick it up, along with Last Man standing they'd probably rule the ratings game even more so.

Mike aka Proof said...

Roseanne broke a cardinal rule: Beware the Planet of the Japes!

Anonymous said...

Well maybe the White House Correspondents will hire her to MC their next dinner?

Regnad Kcin said...

Starbucks--- "Quos deus vult perdere prius dementat". Rosanna--- "Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose".

REM1875 said...

I often wondered how the massive Stilton's Place Corp......kept Lucy and Busty apart ..... I always imagined they worked in different buildings on the massive campus ......

REM1875 said...

Starbucks was closed ???

Simon Maguire said...

Odd when she tweeting the name and address of the parents of George Zimmerman,(which cause them to have to flee their house in the middle of the night and never be able to return) and “At first I thought it was good to let people know that no one can hide anymore … If Zimmerman isn’t arrested I’ll write his address again- maybe go to his house myself.” They were more than happy with her. So try to get people killed and they are fine with it as it was not one of theirs, but tell a bad joke about one of theirs and it’s hang her.
When she performed the national anthem so awfully (on purpose) that then-President George H.W. Bush called her performance “disgraceful” it’s all about freedom of speech The same with saying Israel was a “Nazi state,” and, “The Jewish Soul is being tortured in Israel”. But now it’s she’s gone too far.
It almost make you think that there is a double stranded, I say almost as they have no stranded at all.

Roger Myers said...

What's a Starbuck? Can we spend one at Chick-Fil-a?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Greywuff zfavrr- I agree, the show (while not a huge favorite of mine) is worth picking up on another network. Then again, who wants to invest that much time and money in today's environment in which multiple careers hang on a single tweet from someone who is known to be abrasive?

@Mike aka Proof- I was so going to make "Planet of the Japes" the header for this story. Now that I've seen it in print, I wish I had!

@Anonymous- I like it!

@Regnad Kcin- Took me a moment to decipher the latin, but it's spot on! The French, however, I'm going to have to look up. Though I'm guessing it means "we surrender." (Post-Google Search) Okay, I was wrong...and again, an entirely accurate quote.

@REM1875- Having the two of them here allows us to dispense with the need for heating and air conditioning (no small thing in Texas). If the two just pass one another, wordlessly, there's an arctic chill in the air. If they speak to one another, the heat rises dramatically.

@Simon Maguire- Great comment. Roseanne has personally offended me with her nonsense on countless occasions (this latest tweet doesn't "offend" me except to the extent that it's stupid, not actually funny, and a thermonuclear career killer), but I've never said that she should be banned from the sight of good and decent people. This is a fairly new, and thoroughly frightening tactic from the Left: utter destruction for stepping out of line.

We silence comedians - even bad ones - at our own peril. There is a value to those who shake the bars on the cage, and as a professional humorist and semi-professional trouble maker I'd like to continue making noise.

@Roger Myers- I believe a Starbuck equals about 1/6th of a cup of coffee.

Anonymous said...

If only Archie Bunker would have said it then it would be okay.

Geoff King said...

Never been to a Starbuck's, never will. I make a pot of coffee every morning that suits me just fine, although I will admit that I occasionally splurge on a $2 cup of French Vanilla Cappuccino from the machine at the local gas station.
Never saw the new Roseanne show, but now that ABC has cancelled it, I will seek it out. Same thing happened with "Last Man Standing". Never watched it, but once it got the boot from ABC, I binge watched it on Hulu.
Amazing how the All Barack Channel has absolutely no problem with their Jimmy Kimmel comparing Trump to an orangutan last April, but can't handle a joke about Jarrett.

Alfonso Bedoya said...

Imagine a network resurrecting an Archie Bunker-type program, but instead with Archie's character cast as an ultra-leftist. No doubt about it: the libs would take the program seriously. Question is: who would play the lead role?

James Daily said...

No one was more surprised than me when Roseanne got that gig. I had honestly thought we had seen the last of that nutcase, but like a bad penny, she returned and will probably will again. On the other hand I do enjoy John Goodman as I believe he is a fine actor. I have enjoyed him in several movies. Loved him as the one eyed bible salesman in "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"
Starbucks? They still around? And of course, speaking of people that just will not stay gone: The Crook. How anyone can stand her is beyond me also. That cackling old biddy does not exist if she cannot insult, disparage, harangue a dozen people a day. But of course, Jarrett is a favorite. A straight pipeline to the Middle East and anyone with body not room temperature knows it. Loved Busty and Lucy together. Need more of those.

Bonnie Houghton said...

Good! Now I'm gonna go into Starbucks with my red MAGA hat, sit at a table and not buy anything, and conduct bible studies and sign folks up for the NRA!

Mark Matis said...

Ms. Barr merely told the truth. Can't have that on network television.

Greywuff zfavrr nailed it. But let's not bet that Fox is that smart. Or honest. Please remember that they are also Koch-sucking Rove Republican swill, just like Lyin' Ryan and Post Turtle and every one of the Shrubs. Including Little Marco.

TrickyRicky said...

All the comments are relevant today. However, I may have sensitivity and PC burnout. The first thing that came to my mind was Lucy and Busty in a full-on, clothes-ripping cat fight. Now that would raise the heat index at Chez Jarlsberg! Or maybe it's just me, never mind.

matism said...

So you're looking for another Miller Lite commercial, eh, TrickyRicky?

Bruce Bleu said...

TR, TR, TR... you don't play fair. How "just" would it be for a cutie with a gifted brain to tussle with one that has the intelligence of a melon? Now, throw in a pool containing jello and I think we've got a compelling compromise.

RDB said...

So many fine comments today!

You hit this one out of the park Stilton, especially with the Chick-fil-a comment. That week of rest really did wonders for you!

TR, BB - I've often wondered if Stilton has a "strip" of Lucy and Busty fighting it out. Jello, butter, olive oil - all perfect lubricants! Maybe he will share it someday......

Regnad Kcin said...

@Stilton J. - "Quod erat demonstrandum".........

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- It's okay to say anything, no matter how racist, if you have the blessing of Liberals to do so. And white liberals at that.

@Geoff King- I've unavoidably been to Starbucks a time or two and pretty much hated it. I don't understand their sizes. I don't understand their creations. I despise their prices. You know who makes a decent cup of coffee? 7-11...and for 99¢ you get enough to stay awake for 3 days.

Good luck seeking out the Roseanne show anywhere; Hulu has even dumped the repeats from decades ago because Some People Must Be Erased. And I've never seen Tim Allen's show, but will tune it in when it returns just to help send a message.

@Alfonso Bedoya- I love your idea for a Leftist Archie Bunker show. And for the lead role, how about James Woods?

@James Daily- I'm not a big fan of Roseanne Barr, but I did like the fact that this new show occasionally made a semi-conservative nod to reality (like in the final episode, in which Dan's construction business has been so undermined by competition from illegal workers that he's going to have to hire them himself and do sub-standard work). And I feel particularly badly for John Goodman, who can do no wrong in my eyes (onscreen, at least). His performance in the Coen brothers' "Barton Fink" is astounding.

Glad you enjoyed Busty and Lucy together. I've always intended to do more pairings with them...maybe I'll be better about that in the future.

@Bonnie Houghton- That's the spirit!

@Mark Matis- Her remark was stupid, but does Valerie Jarrett look like the chick in Planet of the Apes? Well, yes - that's just an observable fact. But making such an observation - however accurate - is considered the ultimate "third rail" these days; touch it and you die.

Regarding Fox picking up Roseanne's show, I'll bet one of anything I've got two of that it will never happen. The cast, crew, and writers won't expose themselves to the risk again. And let's not forget that "Roseanne" was NOT a conservative show; it was simply unique in that it occasionally sprinkled in a little conservatism with all the liberalism.

@TrickyRicky- When Busty and Lucy have that inevitable clothes-ripping cat fight, it will be a special pay-per-view day at Stilton's Place.

@matism- But in a larger sense, aren't we all?

udaman said...

It has been said that all good comedy is based on truth, and Jarrett does look like a monkey, and probably smells like one, too!

American Cowboy said...

I seem to be the "victim" of bias everyday.

I experience bias because I am White...not some other darker skinned DNA.
I experience bias because I am "old", having lived the better part of seven decades.
I experience bias because I am MALE, and act like one.
I experience bias because I am not a member of the QWERTY bunch, but rather prefer my partner to be an age appropriate FEMALE.
I experience bias because I am a legal, patriotic, American citizen.
I experience bias because I work for what I have, and do not expect handouts from others.
I experience bias because I am close to God when I am on the back of Dunny horse riding the high country.

The list of bias I experience, and likely most of us here is endless. But we do not march, protest, burn, loot, whine, snivel, or expect everyone else to bow to our wishes. We just get on with life, mind out own business, and keep on keeping on like any responsible, intelligent person would.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@udaman- An interesting philosophical question for me as a humorist: are you allowed to say something really offensive about a person who is completely despicable? In other words, could/should someone have more latitude in mocking Hitler than Joe Biden? I genuinely don't know - but Jarrett deserves derision on many levels. I will say that she doesn't look like a monkey, but looks a LOT like the "monkey woman" hybrid in that specific movie. Not because of her race, but because of her face.

@American Cowboy- Amen, brother. I have no idea what my "white privilege" has ever gotten me, but I've got a pretty good idea how my family and I have suffered from many of those biases that you listed. And no, folks like us don't stage protests or demand reparations; we try to do the best we can - for ourselves and others.

Section147 said...

ABC/Disney is Starbucks minus the overpriced burnt dessert-
water masquerading as actual coffee.Elitist douchebags, all.

Dan said...

Valerie Jarrett is Black? Her skin tone is lighter than mine, and I fall into the honky demographic.
I kept reading about the "one drop" rule. Who's making that rule applicable in the 21st Century?

Colby Muenster said...

Busty's Chick-Fil-A comment just plain sums it up. While the Starbucks of the world are scrambling to be politically correct, Chick-Fil-A is a booming success by simply obeying the 4th commandment (remember the Sabbath Day and keep it holy). Maybe I shouldn't judge by my local Chick-Fil-A (in the South), who are always slammed, but the difference in my part of the world is stark. Starbucks is usually fairly busy, but nothing compared to the teeming masses at Chick-Fil-A.

Rosanne.... is anybody here surprised she said something uber-tacky? Is ABC really surprised she said something uber-tacky? If so, they are a bunch of morons, or have been living in caves for the past 30 years.

John the Econ said...

Someone I'd hate: The first thought that hit my mind as I saw this morning's cartoon was What would happen if a friend set you up on a blind double-date, and you got stuck with Lefty Lucy? It's thoughts like that that make me glad I'm not single.

Starbucks: It's important to remember that Starbucks is selling more than a mere $7 cup of coffee, which by itself would be considered a complete rip-off. They're selling an aspirational image. That image is sophisticated, fashionable, and transparently Progressive. (That image is also clean, which is going to be problematic after their recent change in bathroom access policy)

Many of their customers want to feel as though they are living in a Progressive paradise. And in any Progressive paradise, wrong thoughts must be corrected. So any proper Progressive will excuse Starbucks for being closed yesterday as their racist employees get a good talking to.

Of course, that's all BS. As Stilton points out, this is really about economics. On one end, Starbucks as a public corporation needs to be seen as "doing something", even if that something is largely pointless. The next time something like the unfortunate bathroom incident takes place, (as it inevitably will) Starbucks can point to yesterday and the millions of dollars spent their reasonable effort to do something. On the other end, there's the "grievance industrial complex" ready to service Starbuck's need to do something. It's win-win for everyone, except the consumer.

Roseanne: Well, that all went by fast. A rebooted '90s TV show that unexpectedly exhibited sympathies for Trump's middle-America becomes a surprise hit; The coastal elites are aghast; The shows star who is known for her unfiltered obnoxiousness tweets something easily received as a dog whistle to the left; The show is cancelled hours later after less than a dozen episodes.

Even though there's no question that a lot of money was left on the table by ABC, I'm guessing that the decision to kill Roseanne wasn't all that hard for them. After all, barely 12 months ago they axed another one of their top-watched comedies that not only was transparently conservative, openly mocked Progressivism. They deny it was ideological, but considering the embarrassingly mediocre and insipid programming that they continually do renew, it's hard to think otherwise.

ABC says that Roseanne's tweets were "Inconsistent with its values". Perhaps. But the values of ABC aren't all that high to begin with.

As for Roseanne herself, I'm not sure what she was thinking. Politically, she's never been what anyone would call a "conservative". Upon hearing about her tweet, my first thought was that she was trolling; playing into her character as a Trump supporting racist. If that was the plan, it backfired horribly. If I was her fellow cast members, I'd be furious. That show was going to be a sweet ride for them.

NVRick said...

@ Bonnie Houghton Be sure to take along a Subway sandwich and a cup of Dunkin Donut coffee.

Robert Tatro said...

Pssst Watch it Stilt you may get the internet canceled. lol

Shelly said...

Death by tweet. That's what we've come to expect from the oh so tolerant lefties who control everything we see and say. Was Roseanne's comment rude? Yes. Do I think she meant it to be racist? No. She claimed later that she didn't know VJ was black and I can believe that because neither did I! I don't know how comedians can make a living today (unless they're lefties) because of the intolerance of the speech police. I think the cancellation of this show was a knee-jerk reaction and considering the absolute bile against our president that spews forth on this network and all the others day after day, the double standard is egregious. The offense industry truly controls this country and I'm sick of it. The outraged came forth in droves over the pictures of illegal immigrant children in cages until it was revealed those pictures were made during Obama's reign of terror. Did they retract or apologize. Are you kidding? Nope, just deleted the tweets and all's okay.

Mark Matis said...

Maybe so, John the Econ, but remember that Lefty Lucy puts out. Of course, you gotta remember to report her for raping you after the "wham-bam-thank you, ma'am" is over. BEFORE she gets the chance to do the same to you...

Stan da Man said...

1) *I* thought Rosanne's comment was about as funny as it was accurate. What happened to the truth being the ultimate defense?
2) full agreed, we NEED people who are empowered to mock the mighty. They NEED it. WE need it.
3) Why am I just now realizing that the StarBux logo is a 'split tail' mermaid holding her ankles behind her head? Or near enough as to make no difference? Stormy should sue...

Too bad we can't get John Candy to join 'em in that wrestling match...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Section147- I don't think I can really add anything to "elitist douchebags, all."

@Dan- "Black" isn't really about one's color anymore. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas has repeatedly been called "not black" because of his conservatism. The same is true of many other black conservatives. Valerie Jarrett is light complected, but has black parents. Technically, she's black.

@Colby Muenster- Chick-Fil-A is an amazing phenomenon. At the location closest to me, lines of traffic routinely stretch into the street. And they're always so busy that I rarely treat myself to one of their exceptional sandwiches. But when I do, I'm always impressed by the friendliness and positivity of everyone in the store. Not just the employees - everyone. And it's not specifically about being Christian, or conservative, or anything more complicated than The Golden Rule simply being put into practice. What an easy lesson for others to emulate...but they refuse to do so.

And I agree that Roseanne's self-destructive tweet was many things, but not surprising. She's always been a bull in a china shop (not necessarily a bad thing for a comedian to be). I don't for a nanosecond believe she's a racist.

@John the Econ- I think a blind date with Lucy would be fun, if only to mess with her mind. Regarding Starbucks, I can't add anything to your excellent analysis, other than that it will be fun continuing to watch them gyre and gimble in the wabe of political correctness.

Regarding Roseanne and ABC's "values," let me cite a little example of what they're putting on the air that they thing IS good and appropriate for family viewing. In the program "Splitting Up Together," a delightful comedy about a divorcing couple taking weekly turns raising their 3 kids, a recent episode centered around the eldest son having pain in his testicles, and the family doctor telling Mom that the kid needs to start spanking his monkey (presumably one bearing no resemblance to any members of the Obama administration). But wait - it gets worse!

To give the kid some privacy and inspiration, Mom turns a pantry into the boy's "masturbation nook" - and to help him along, she hangs a picture of Ruth Bader Ginsburg...

Dad: I don't think she'd appreciate this.
Mom: I was just...I was trying to think of, like, worthy and capable.

Dad suggests replacing Ginsburg with the strong feminist icon Wonder Woman to facilitate junior's whacking off in the family pantry. And THOSE, my friends, are ABC's "values."

As far as Roseanne's tweet, it was stupid and unfunny. And of the two, I'm more offended by the "unfunny" part.

@NVRick- Yes! Yes! We need to join Bonnie for a flash mob at that Starbucks location!

@Robert Tatro- Fortunately, I fly below the radar. And it's hard to fire a man who works for free. But seriously, there IS a chilling effect with this craziness. Should I really be shunned by polite society for noticing that Jarrett actually does resemble that one movie character? That's not racism talking, that's just my eyeballs working.

@Shelly- Very well said!

@Mark Matis- I don't think it would be wildly challenging to talk Lucy into the sack if you could somehow convince her it would save some polar bears. Busty, on the other hand, is not to be trifled with. I pity the fool who would try to run a game on her.

Doug M said...

Here's another take on Starbucks:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4DiZHWlZJM

TrickyRicky said...

BTW Stilton, I got sidetracked with the Busty-Lefty jello cage match, but the Starbucks logo comparison to lobster boy was GENIUS. I haven't seen the lobster boy photo since I was a boy, and it brought back memories of how it freaked me out 50 years ago. Bravo!

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John the Econ said...

@Mark Matis said "...but remember that Lefty Lucy puts out."

Actually, I don't believe we've ever seen any solid evidence of that. But for any case that she does, your advice for afterwards is sound.

@Stilton asserts that "... a blind date with Lucy would be fun, if only to mess with her mind.

It would be fun, and the only upside to a blind date with her. But come on, it would still be a disappointment compared to a date with Busty, which would no doubt be a satisfying experience for mind, body and soul.

ABC's Values: Wow. Just wow. And this is "prime time" TV? You know, you think you have a pretty good impression as to how bad things are out there, but then you find out about something like that and realize that you haven't been even nearly cynical enough.

For years, I used to read the daily dispatch from the Media Research Center but at some point tuned out, mostly from fatigue. I guess I need to be paying attention again. But I'm not sure why.

Speaking of Hollywood Sickness: Some friends who are the parents of young kids alerted me to this last week:

Grooming Alert: Do Not Take Your Kids to the Show Dogs Movie

Frank touches Max’s private parts to get him use to it. Of course, Max doesn’t like it and snaps at Frank for him to stop. Max is then told by the former champion, who has been through the process before, that he needs to go to his “zen place” while it happens so he can get through it. More attempts are made by Frank to touch Max’s private parts, but Max is still having trouble letting it happen and keeps snapping at him.” Max’s success is riding on whether or not he lets both his partner (for practice) and a stranger (the competition judge) touch his private parts.

IN A KIDS MOVIE. WHAT???

Newsflash, folks: THIS IS CALLED GROOMING and it’s what sexual predators do to kids!


What gets me that is this supposed age of oversensitivity and #MeToo, that a Hollywood studio would put this out there as a kids movie. Are they really that blind, or are the worst suspicions of the paranoid real and they really on an agenda to make kids sexually submissive?

Years ago, we were listening to an interview of some successful Hollywood writer on NPR, largely famous for his movies about dysfunctional America. When asked about the basis of his success, he responded "You have to write what you know."

This set me to thinking. Why is it that so much of what comes out of Hollywood dysfunctional, sick, or just plain disgusting? Is it because Hollywood is mostly filled with people who can only write what they know, and that is mainly about dysfunction?

There is something about the entertainment industry environment that only attracts and sustains these kinds of dysfunctional people. I don't think that emotionally, psychologically, or morally healthy people can thrive, much less survive there. So this is what we get. It perfectly explains why it's so rare that we get real and honest portrayals of conservatives, people of faith, or even "normal" people. It's because so few writers actually know any, and have to revert to "what they know".

Cheezy said...

Well, Zira has nicer skin.....