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Monday, January 6, 2020

Starting the Year with a Bang

We're feeling slightly ill today (this is what happens when you look at a whole year of news in too short a time), so we're going to let the cartoons do the heavy lifting today...

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It's a lot funnier than when Hillary said the same thing.
stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, trump, iran, iraq, soleimani, missile, assassination, terrorist, schiff, democrats
"Hail, Tinnitus!"
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Before attending the debate, candidates are urged to update their dental records.

29 comments:

mamafrog said...

Trump's "comment" in the first cartoon, truer words were never spoken so well. Fuck Hillary's dried up nasty ass (not me personally, yuck) and I hope she rots in hell. Actually, I hope she has a change of heart and feels the pain of all her victims for the next 50 artificial years of her life. Every. Single. One. Every. Single. Minute. She deserves worse but I won't judge her, she has that coming from someone much more powerful.

NaCly Dog said...

The top one is a keeper. Well done, good sir.

And heal, please. You are a gift to us Pragmatic Deplorables. A funny gift, yet one a worthy one.

igor said...

Was it Trump that said in a tweet, "I'd suggest another line of work if you are an Iranian refinery worker..." or somesuch. Great idea!

I'm pretty sure Iran is going to screw the pooch and do something monumentally stupid, similar to what the "Coonman" Gubernator is going to try to do in Virginia. Nothing like stepping on your own crank, is there? Ah well, some people gotta learn the hard way, I guess!

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Igor: I'm minded of Will Rogers' quote:

"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Oh, and get better soon, Stilton! Try some Clan MacGregor. It'll either settle your stomach or beat it into submission.

Regnad Kcin said...

I've got one word for all concerned (you know who you are)..... "INCOMING !"....

Fish Out of Water said...

Hmm no strip featuring Lefty Lucy parroting the idiot who has replaced blonde jokes about 'war crimes'?

Anonymous said...

What were the last things on Soleimani's mind before he died?
Pieces of transmission housing....

REM1875 said...

Really, really they don't have to come out of the bunker for the debate.....no one will notice I am pretty damned sure .......

Fish Out of Water said...

On the other hand, while Lefty Lucy may be entertainingly dumb, is she that dumb?

REM1875 said...

Gen Salami pulling his foreskin over his head disappeared up his asshole in a flash .......
And for the next trick .......

Bobo the Hobo said...

Reminds me of the meme my cousin sent this weekend:

Trump: “Hey, Siri, where can I get a grilled queso and salami?’

Siri: “OK, sending a jet to kill Qassem Soleimeni”

AmyH said...

Reading all these idiots on yahoo news panicking that WW3 is going to break out & that the draft will be instituted is hilarious. Some are saying Baron better be the first to sign up, forgetting hes only 13 and not eligible for another 5 years. Others are saying we will get our butt handed to us, we havent won a war since WW2, etc. A good chunk of our colleges have churned out pathetic, whiney, sniveling idiots. I weep for our future.

Maoz said...

Stilt, targish tov -- be well. I salute your dedication, posting even when ill. Your knack for zingification seems not to be hampered, much to our delight.

(And Bobo the Hobo -- tell your cousin thanks for the laugh!)

TrickyRicky said...

@AmyH- Yeah, you pretty much nailed it. What really chaps my hide is that this horrible piece of crap was allowed to ply his murderous trade all over the Middle East for decades, all the while we had the intelligence tools and killing tools to have taken this course of action, but did not. Our feckless swamp dwellers of both (allegedly separate) political parties chose not to. The question is why?

Pat Cummings said...

Marvellous that our POTUS did not mirror Obama & Biden, who, upon learning that the Israelis were tracking Soleimeni with an eye to taking him out over 5 years ago, called Iran to warn him to lay low. No foolin'

Guess he assumed the US still had his back!

@Bobo the Hobo: Pretty sure your cousin wins the Internet this week! (My end of it, anyway...)

@Regnad Kcin: Don't say it so loud! But feel free to laugh as loud as you like afterward...

leelu said...

It also helps if you write your social security # on you arm or leg in with a permanent marker...

Rod said...

A comparison of Barry Otero's use of power with that of Trump's reveals extreme differences; very evident for all who wish to actually see it. Just one example: US troops patrolling IED laden roads and walking urban neighborhood streets in the Middle East with insane Rules of Engagement VS. After due diligence & process: Someone over here pushes a "Send it" button on a drone; and Iran's #2 leader and top ranking terrorist in the world is no longer.

Worlds apart. There's actually a lot LESS philosophical "privilege" difference between Iran's former #2 and ours. Biden & Company should be just happy they are sort-of Americans.

John the Econ said...

@Stilton, please feel better. A strong America requires strong comic leadership.

Trump didn't inform Congress. Whaaaaaaah!: Talk about something that not only failed to resonate, but just went further to demonstrate how the Democrats have devolved into the party of calorie-free contrarian partisanship. I honestly don't know how how many cruise missiles Nobel Peace Price winner Barack Obama launched during his term, but I don't recall any outrage about his lack of Congressional briefings or approval.

Trump's response to what the media originally labeled as "Trump's Benghazi" couldn't present a more stark contrast between how Trump sees these problems and how the Obama Administration dealt with them. I also think it also put to bed any hopes that Hillary would re-enter the race to save the Democrats from losing next November.

Soleimani: Funny how a dead white Islamic fascist gets more sympathy from the left than dead American ambassadors and soldiers. THIS should be a meme going forward to the 2020 elections. Also consider that for all of the rhetoric as to how Trump is a Nazi sympathizer, Trump just executed someone who actually would have sided with real Nazis given the opportunity. Quite frankly, I don't think we've seen a more stark example of Progressive unhinged ignorance to date.

The Iraq embassy attack was a test. Iran wanted to see how Trump would react. (I think it's safe to assume they weren't expecting pallets of cash like they got from Obama) Trump's response was quick and unambiguous. No phony "line in the sand" that anyone with a brain knew wouldn't be respected.

Since last week, Progressives have been whining that this is the beginning of a new Middle East war and anticipating Iran's next aggression. I expect the opposite. Trump may have just stopped one. Trump has made it clear that should Iran pull another stunt like this, he will not hesitate to act just as quickly, and more painfully. Taking out a refinery, for example. (My guess is that at this point with Iran's fragile economy, the mullahs would rather lose a general than a refinery)

Hiding in a Bunker: Quite frankly, the current slate of Democrats would probably be better off hiding in a bunker instead of participating in any more debates. Each debate to date has turned out to be just another in-kind contribution to the Trump re-election campaign.

The idiots who think this is the beginning of WW3: First of all, we won WW3 in 1989 when the Soviet Union collapsed. WW4 began in the '90s against Islamic fascism during Clinton's "vacation from reality". If there is a WW5, will have to be conducted by Democrats against China, India, and Africa because they'll refuse to curb their carbon emissions, thus destroying the planet.

Colby Muenster said...

@Stilton,
Sorry to hear you're under the weather. Please rest and heal up soon!

I hope Prez Trump reads today's post and uses the Shrillary line the next time a Demtard opens their blathering mouth about their poor widdle friend, Soleimeni getting his ass splattered all over the pavement without "due process." I'm pretty sure Obama didn't ask Congress' permission when he authorized the hit on his brother Osama, and the Dims were crowing about that for months on end ("Look you nasty Republicans... He really DOES have a pair!").

Will the Mullahs retaliate? No doubt. Will Trump send an even stronger message? No doubt. A refinery or two would be a nice touch. A centrifuge lab would be even better, but no doubt those are all hidden waaaaaay underground.

And speaking of Maxine Watters, has anyone heard the recording of her getting punked by the two Russians pretending to be Greta and her dad? Absolutely priceless! And they say blondes are dumb.

And.... speaking of American made products, I heard that Soleimeni's remains (little bits of burnt skin??) were hauled by the Iranians in a CHEVY pickup truck! I wonder why they didn't use an Iranian built vehicle (i.e. camel).

Jason Anyone said...

Hope you're feeling better soon, Stilts!

John the Econ said...

Speaking of "comic leadership", it's really a shame that this happened too late yesterday to be today's cartoon.

And the award for the most direct hits on Progressive sacred cows at point-blank range during a mainstream media prime time live television broadcast goes to...:

I abhor entertainment industry awards shows. There is no other industry on the planet that pats itself on the back for no good reason (other than making money) like Hollywood does. And the hypocrisy of this industry is off the charts. For example, how much arrogance does it take for people who make tens-to-thousands-of-times more than you do for a couple of weeks of work, sexually exploit people like slave traders, and have the carbon footprints of small countries to lecture you about income injustice, sexual morality and climate change? It's a classic gaslight operation. The America that makes their conspicuous existence possible is just awful and you need to feed bad about it.

So last night, something extraordinary happened. The only reason I saw this was because I had recorded the Seattle-Eagles game on the DVR, and this was on immediately after. During the latter part of the game, my social media feed lit up with news that Ricky Gervais had roasted the PC crowd, so I stuck around to see just what he said. Instead of lecturing America, Hollywood got lectured! After taking shots at the Hollywood elites, Ricky Gervais, someone who knows a bit about earning the ire of the woke crowd summed up with:

“So if you do win an award tonight, don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech, right? You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg. If you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent and your god, and f— off.”

Amen. I didn't stick around after that and I understand that the usual suspects gave the usual speeches. But this time a bit of wind was taken out of their sails. The shots of celebrity reactions will be the supply of meme fodder for the next year.

Full transcript here: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/transcript-ricky-gervais-golden-globes-2020-opening-monologue-1266516

I think this is another sign that America is turning. People are tired of the hypocrisy and the wokestapo. These people are the vocal minority.

And Trump may, in fact, get a landslide victory come November.

mamafrog said...

Amen John, that was gold!

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Chevy? Isn't that part of the liberal-rescued automaker "Government Motors"? To my mind, it's fitting that something so affiliated with the liberal left carted their Iranian darling's remains...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@mamafrog- Well put, and I agree with every syllable.

@NaCly Dog- Thanks for the nice words. And I'm healing fine, thank you. Heck, I'm "well" within the broad boundaries of geriatric slings and arrows.

@igor- I don't expect Iran to suddenly get smart, but I expect them to get as much schooling as is necessary to make them back down.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Will Rogers was a genius.

@Regnad Kcin- That would be the word, alright.

@Fish Out of Water- All in good time. Lefty and Busty aren't going anywhere.

@Anonymous- A classic joke, retooled for the occasion. Nice!

@REM1875- It's my understanding that the ratings for the Dem debates are in the toilet. What a shock, huh?

@Fish Out of Water- I like to think that Lucy isn't that "dumb" but is rather severely misinformed. I'm hoping that someday she'll actually grow up and see the foolishness of her youth.

@REM1875- Ah, the disappearing prick trick!

@Bobo the Hobo- It's funny because it's true.

@AmyH- There was some idiot celebrity (but I repeat myself) who was wailing on Twitter that her 2-year-old daughter was going to be drafted. Which made me think, what could a 2-year-old even do? I'm not proud that the next word in my mind was "minesweeper."

@Maoz- Thanks for the good wishes. I'm doing fine overall!

@TrickyRicky- I think we all know the answer to the question you posed: previous (ahem) "leaders" lacked the balls to do what needed to be done.

@Pat Cummings- I hadn't heard that, but it sure has the ring of truth.

@leelu- Well that's just being thoughtful!

@Rod- Everything Barry did encouraged more violence and weakened our nation. I'm not a warmonger, but I'm happy as Hell to see someone in office who's willing to show the bad guys that there's a cost for messing with us (and the world).

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- I can't add a thing to your comments. Fine analysis, sir!

@Colby Muenster- I'm still of the opinion that the mission to take out bin Laden was done without Barry's approval and, quite likely, despite his opposition. And I've heard about the Maxine Waters "punked" recording but haven't listened to it yet. I'll have to check that out!

@Jason Anyone- I'm coming along nicely, thanks!

@John the Econ- I'm a big fan of Ricky Gervais. I certainly don't always agree with him politically, but the man does not suffer fools gladly...and the entertainment industry is full of them. Gervais's opening monologue cut deeper than I think was expected, and I love him all the more for it.

@mamafrog- Yeah, what you said!

@Emmentaler Limburger- I like the connection you've made there!

JeremyR said...

Turns out Soleimani had a dandruff problem... They found his Head and Shoulders on the other side of the airport.

American Cowboy said...

@ JeremyR- I heard Soleimani had blue eyes. One "blue" left, and one "blue" right.

igor said...

I heard Greg Gutfield refer to him on his show last night as "Salmonelli".
Yup. That's about right!