Wednesday, March 4, 2020
It's Later Than You Thing
At the time of this writing, the results of Super Tuesday voting aren't yet available, but we'll go out on a limb and guess that Trump racked up a solid win on the Republican side, and that a huge majority of Democrats voted for an old white guy whose last name starts with a "B."
It's thought that Biden may make a striking resurgence (despite continuing gaffes like the one in the cartoon, in which he proved that some truths aren't "self-evident" after all) owing to the fact that other candidates have dropped out of the race and thrown their support behind Biden. Not because Biden has anything good to offer, but because old school Democrats will do anything to stop Bernie Sanders.
Sanders supporters are, of course, livid about this - with the memory of the DNC in general, and Hillary Clinton in particular, using every dirty trick in the book to steal the nomination from Bernie last time. His supporters are particularly upset because a 100-year-old Bernie will be too old to run again in 2024. Granted, Sanders won't actually be 100, but if these nimrods could do simple math they wouldn't be Bernie Sanders supporters, would they?
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Longtime liberal pain-in-the-butt Chris Matthews has abruptly retired from MSNBC, although reports suggest that if he hadn't resigned, he would have been fired.
The (ahem) "opinion journalist" who was famous for getting a "thrill up my leg" and "a slight tingling in my left nut" when listening to Obama speak was allegedly on the outs with MSNBC management for being "insensitive" when doing things like comparing Bernie Sanders' win in the Nevada caucuses to the Nazi invasion of France in World War II. Apparently, only Republicans are allowed to be compared to Nazis on the alleged news outlet.
Matthews also admitted to having been inadvertently and unintentionally insensitive to women over the years, having made "compliments on a woman's appearance that some men, including me, might have once incorrectly thought were OK." Because it turns out that, no matter how complimentary and positive, you can't pair any descriptive adjective with the word "knockers" anymore and get away with it.
NOT SO FOND FAREWELL
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM