Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Glasses Half Fooled

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, optometrist, msnbc, glasses, kathy griffin

Okay, we'll admit that the cartoon above - while entirely accurate - was more or less thrown together under time pressure after we visited the eye doctor today (and wore the contraption shown above) because it had been a few years since we last updated our eyeglass prescription, and apparently we're supposed to be able to read actual words on street signs. Who knew?

Because we have a wretchedly expensive Obamacare policy which covers our non-existent ovaries but not our actual eyeballs, we went to the optometrist at Sam's Club (who is genuinely excellent) and got everything checked out for $60 cash. And we left with prescriptions for glasses (distance and reading) which we'll fill online at for about $25 a pair.  This is called "the free market."

Of course, the visit had its moments of drama. Our eyeballs were diagnosed with "map-dot fingerprint dystrophy," which sounds like we should get disability payments, handicapped parking, and perhaps be the subject of a tear-jerking TV movie.

Not that the Internet is going to help with any of that, what with them describing our heartrending affliction as one which "usually resolves completely with no loss of vision and in fact, many cases are not severe enough for the patient to recognize that there is something wrong. No treatment is typically necessary."

On the other hand, the doctor did casually mention that if we rub our peepers too hard when feeling sleepy, we could literally rip the skin off the front of our eyes, exposing raw nerves and causing excruciating pain. Which is why we'll be sleeping while wearing boxing gloves from now on.

Getting back to the mainstream media (if indeed we were ever there), the distortion and lies we're hearing about Trump just make it impossible to mount much of a cogent commentary here. We think Trump did fine on his overseas trip - and if Angela Merkel is huffily declaring that Germany and Europe may now need to show some self-sufficiency, we say "well done, Mr. President!"

We also thought he honored Memorial Day appropriately, which was a nice change from the previous 8 years. Seriously, we always felt that the hallowed grounds of Arlington Cemetery were defiled by Obama's presence.

And along those lines, here's a little something we posted on Facebook on Memorial Day...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, optometrist, msnbc, glasses, kathy griffin
Obama, of course, laid a wreath at the Bathroom of the Unknown Gender
On a final note (yeah, this is just a rambling day) let's take a look at what passes for cerebral comedy and incisive political discourse in the Leftist media...

kathy griffin, unfunny, anorexic, America-hating, cunt, skag, wretch, maggot gagger

Nice, huh? Alleged "comedian" Kathy Griffin (best known for being an angry, unfunny skag who has never even accidentally made an audience laugh) holding up Donald Trump's bloody, severed head. We're not sure what her message is, other than some sort of obscene endorsement of ISIS. 

Perhaps she should actually visit an ISIS training camp to entertain the troops, like some sort of Bizarro-world America-hating Bob Hope from Hell.

And if she does, we'd like to be there -  to sell throwing-rocks to the audience.


Mike aka Proof said...

You have to admit that Kathy Grifter has the blank, clueless, deer-in-the-headlight look down pat!

David in SoCal said...

Well done Dr. Jarlsberg; even the unknown Russian Judge gave you a 10.0 on this presentation!

How convenient of the attention whore Kathy Griffin to issue an apology AFTER she makes an obscene/gross/embarrassing video/pics depicting the beheading of our (yes, OUR) President. I'm sure the parents/relatives/friends of all the Americans beheaded by isis and displayed in similar fashion appreciate her vulgar post. Ms. Griffin, in her faked apology, gave herself an excuse by saying "I'm a comic". No, you are not. You first must be funny to be a comic. Shame on you Kathy Griffin; and may the fleas of a thousand Camels infest your worthless radical leftist frame. Some stories goin' 'round (from un-named sources of course) 'bout the FBI taking a hard look at her. How any normal man can get hard looking at her is beyond my comprehension. Badump-ching.

Ed said...

What would the MSM talk about if the Russian connection went away? They have so many investigations going the investigators are investigating the investigators investigating everybody who is being investigated. Not a chance the dumbo democrats will return to the business of the country, it is much more fun to witch-hunt the Trump clan with the possibility of becoming a hero if something is found. Never has a sitting president been investigated so much and so completely by such complete idiots. The poor man can't even take a crap without Democrats leaking to the press how many squares of toilet paper he used, double or single-ply and if the brand was made in America creating jobs. I stand with Trump. With just about everyone, including his own party, against him he must be doing something right. To be against him means he is stepping on some toes and they are worried.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Ed - Someone (Klaven? Klavern?) did a bit I saw recently that was a bit like who's on first, w/ investigators investigating the investigation into the investigators of this other investigation... it went on just a touch long for my taste, but got the point across.

wrt Trump 'must be doing SOME thing right'... he's doing a LOT right.
I kinda wish he'd park his phone at night, but I think the recent trip went well, I'm liking his proposed budget, and he "seems" to be pushing for a flat(er) tax.

In Re Her Skankness, Ms Griffen someone over at (a genius digest site, w/ some pretty bigoted commenters, on occasion...) posted a purported pic of her w/o makeup.
OMFG, I do NOT recommend googling, if you have anything in your stomach...
Wow, you can just imagine the diseases that produce blemishes and lesions like that.. (then again, it may be fake)
Suffice it to say, some people, Ugly just goes to the BONE..

And yeah, shocka, Secret Service takes kind of a dim view of threats to the Prez. Enjoy your proctoscopy, sweetie..
And I understand she's already lost at least one upcoming gig... so, venue owners think it was unfunny enough that it's hitting her in the (probably thin) pocket book... Wann waaaaahhh >sad horn<

Pete (Detroit) said...

This showed up in my Linked In feed, and I thought it was too cool not to share..

Ok, I ordered (some years back) a 'custom' rifle from Savage.
Cost me a bit 'extra' but they were willing to tweak an existing model for me.
The fact that Rolls has a team that will custom design / build, to YOUR taste a unique superluxery vehicle (for, natch, a super luxury PRICE) is just totally Red Ass, and an example of capitalism at it finest..

Judi King said...

I saw Ms. Griffin's so-called apology. It seems someone can do or say the most disgusting, hideous things, but if they say "I'm sorry" then that makes it all better. I don't think so. Actually, she looked worse than the head she's holding.

Bobo the Hobo said...

When I saw that vulgar Kathy Griffin image on Drudge, I thought my brain was going to explode. It escapes me how anyone could post such an offensive image and expect people to simply accept a lame "I'm sorry if you were offended" apology.

This was not some "oopsie"; this took time and planning to pull off. Ms Griffin allegedly stated she knew it was offensive and jokingly said she and photographer Tyler Shields should plan to move to Mexico.

So while Ms Griffin states she asked the photographer to remove the image from the internet, Griffin is back-peddling with her "I went too far" statement, expecting the First Amendment to protect future earnings under the guise of "I'm a comic". Unfortunately for her and Shields, this (I don't even have the vocabulary) image is "out there" forever and cannot be recalled and she should expect the wrath of not only Trump supporters, but also honest Democrat supporters to excoriate this and future promotions of her "comic" exhibitions.

As far as I am concerned, Kathy Griffin has elevated her position to that alongside Jane Fonda and she deserves the same respect as Fonda.

Fish Out of Water said...

She's a C list attention whore trying to get attention for recognition. I'm sure her agent and lawyer will have loads of fun trying to explain this to the Secret Service and perhaps FBI.

james daily said...

Again, my thoughts are the same as yours, this is the most disgusting photo I believe I have ever seen of a President. Hopefully her short career is over because of this as there is no doubt it offends even some of the most ardent haters of President Trump. Then, to make jokes about beheading anyone is disgusting. I am sure the families of those that have suffered this horrific event are offended also. Lastly, the Arab terrorist are no joke. Just ask as the dead people they have created. Personally, when we get serious about the ISIS, we will kill them and bury them soaked in swine fluids.

Fred Ciampi said...

I will be very disappointed if the so called comic is not in jail in the not too distant future. The libaturds in our country are and have gone too far with their political protests. One of these days approximately 23,933,126 pissed off patriotic veterans are going to strike back. We did not put our lives on the line for freedom, country, and Constitution to be abused in such a way.

Remember several years ago when a rodeo rider wore an obama mask? He was driven out of the market. This double standard is starting to piss me and approximately 23,933,125 patriots off. Hmmm, where did I put my moonshine? Grrrrrrrrrrr.............

Geoff King said...

That is one grotesque looking head.
The severed one is not very pretty either.

American Cowboy said...

@ Fred Ciampi- This so called comic in jail? I won't hold my breath. But I WILL be standing right beside you and the rest of the 23,933,126 pissed off patriotic veterans when you strike back. And I will count it a privilege and honor to do so.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- I'm surprised she hasn't yet claimed that the photographer drugged her, and she has no memory of posing for the pictures.

@David in SoCal- I'm something of a comic myself and believe in pushing boundaries to make a point. But what possible point was intended here, other than "I hate Trump so much that I want him dead"? That message came through loud and clear, and a mere apology doesn't (literally) wash the blood from her hands.

Only days after women and children were blown to pieces at a concert, Kathy Griffin says "you know what's funny? ISIS!" She is not a comic, she is an offensive idiot.

@Ed- I am sick to death of all things Russian at this point. I don't care who spoke to whom, or what about, because the conspiracy narratives being pushed by the media are illogical and unsubstantiated. And because the news is now so unreliable, I largely give the benefit of all doubts to Trump unless proven otherwise.

@Pete (Detroit)- If one Googles without fear of corrupting your browser history, you can actually find pictures of Griffin topless and without makeup. I'm 100% against body-shaming, but I will say that it will be a long time before I can eat fried eggs again.

Regarding the Rolls Royce, I think it's great that some idiot spent so much money on a car because the Lefties will wail about all of the children who could have been fed with that money, blissfully unaware of the fact that this is how money migrates to others who, rather than setting the money on fire, will spend it to feed and clothe their families.

@Judi King- Griffin had ample opportunity to kill the image before it ever saw the light of day. But in her apology, she makes it clear that she's responding to the reaction to the photo, not a sudden burst of self-awareness or humility. If she is genuinely sincere, she needs to do more than apologize. Perhaps a large donation to pro-Trump causes might be a good start.

@Bobo the Hobo- It's hard to believe that this image won't be very, very popular among the ISIS types around the world. It boldly declares that they are winning the battle of ideas. I agree that Griffin should be forgiven when Jane Fonda is. Not all "mistakes" can be erased.

@Fish Out of Water- Sadly, I would guess that the Secret Service will give this no more than an eye roll, though I'd enjoy seeing them make an example out of Griffin and the photographer by investigating them to an unpleasant degree. And say, how about putting her on the "no fly" list? Good luck getting to your gigs (if any) by Greyhound, Kathy.

@Thomas Beechler- That particular word should not be thrown around lightly, but in this case it fits perfectly.

@James Daily- You wouldn't think you'd have to explain to a "comic" that an epidemic of graphic beheadings isn't funny. Then again, the photographer prides himself on being someone who comes up with images that "shock." Here's a bulletin: it's easy to shock, and the cheapest possible way of getting attention. Neither Griffin nor the photographer has the talent to merit our notice, so instead they choose to offend. Mission accomplished.

@Fred Ciampi- I wouldn't recommend jail for this offense, but I'd certainly endorse a number of measures which make her life a lot harder (like that "no fly" suggestion I mentioned earlier). The 1st Amendment really does protect the ability of people to say pretty much any damn thing, but does not protect them from the social ramifications of their statements.

On the other hand, the rodeo clown dressed as Obama was pretty funny.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

"Mommy, why is that ugly man dressed like a woman?"

Since she appears to desire aligning herself with the likes of ISIS, perhaps she should also have her head disappear in a red mist, as so many ISIS and Talibanis have? It would be a fitting end...

Oh, sorry, "Kathy", if I offended you. I'm a commneter.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Geoff King- Yep.

@American Cowboy- I think a large segment of the American population already has "struck back." We elected Trump as a direct repudiation of this kind of nonsense from the Left.

txGreg said...

Stilton asked "But what possible point was intended here..." and I have echo Emmentaler's sentiments just above me. As soon as I saw the initial image, I first thought she was simply declaring her new loyalty. Griffin moved on from "I'm with her" to "I'm with ISIS."

Also, fortunately I did NOT find the "too much bared" photo that Stilton upchucked upon, but I did find this one. Is it just me, or does she look like she's auditioning for a role as The Joker in another Batman movie?

Bobo said...

Imagine the libtard uproar if the photo was reversed with Trump holding her bodiless, bloodied head. There'd be pitchforks and axes in the streets.

zregime said...

And let us not forget that a Denver Post sportswriter was canned Monday for posting on his personal site that he was uncomfortable seeing the Indy 500 winner taking a victory lap holding the Japanese flag. Terry Frei. Political affiliation unknown. He had relatives who fought in the Pacific during WWII. Fired. Sacked. Pink slipped. Color me astonished if CNN does the same to that ho bag.

Imagine it's Trump's head and body holding Barry's bloody head. Imagine the reaction. Imagine that.

rod said...

Yes, it's often bizarre; but does anyone else think these little entertaining things Trump does (like making up words) is similar to attack submarines, ships and aircraft pinging for their targets? It must be fun to just send out a new word and watch all the scramble.

Colby Muenster said...

Apology? I'm calling BULLSH*T! Really Ms. Griffin? You didn't have a clue that might be offensive and in extremely poor taste BEFORE you caught 10 tons of grief over it? Your ugly is all on the inside, you hateful hag.

I was watching America's Got Talent last night (yes, I'll admit it... I actually like watching the acts). But now I'm done with that alphabet network show as well. Now that Howard Stern quit, three out of the four judges are not even from America. They had a Trump impersonator on that was pretty darn funny, and that British bag Mel B hit her buzzer the second the guy took the stage, solely because he looked like Trump. Where have all the adults gone?

Done ranting now....

I hope you picked out some better looking glasses than the ones in your photo. Those look really heavy!

Tim said...

Reportedly, Barron Trump saw that picture and thought it was real. The legal term is negligent infliction of emotional distress. The paraphrase for the layman is "Cha-CHING!" Bankrupt a few rich lefties, and give the money to the NRA. That'd shut them up.

jlw said...

@ zregime

what color should i use for "astonished"? i'll need enough for me, too.

REM1875 said...

Well this new found fame will not be fleeting

She will forever be THE person in THAT picture......

It does not appear she is capable of wearing her new found fame well,--- no matter how badly she wanted fame....

Sergio said...

Your note about visiting the "eye doctor" reminded me of a past Wizard of Id cartoon wherein the Wizard's wife told him she had to go to the eye doctor. In reply, he told her, "We should not refer to doctors by the portion of the body they treat. Otherwise, there wouldn't be any Proctologists"

John the Econ said...

Kathy is an attention whore. That's how she makes her living. Of course she knew what she was doing and isn't the least bit sorry about it. She wanted the attention of the whole country, and got it. And most of the heat she's taking is completely phony. There's little a Progressive can do these days to permanently destroy their career as long as they remain faithful to the Progressive agenda. Heck, people are even listening to Dan Rather again. I predict Anthony Wiener will be back eventually, probably at BMSNBC. And Kathy will go on doing what Kathy does, because there is more than enough hatred out there to fuel it. They'll cheerfully consume her vile hatred of everything, and they'll feel virtuous for doing so. This is how sick they've become.

Now, let's see someone do that with the scalp of Barack Obama, or say Muhammad. Then I'll be impressed, not because it's something I'd cheer or would like to see, but because it would take genuine courage to do so knowing that there'd be real consequences of doing so.

Come on, cutting edge "artists". Prove that you're not all such pansies.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Hmmm, apparently Ms Griffin is not the first to walk this way..

At least Al Franken is sticking w/ her, asking to to help flog his latest effort in auto erotic textual relations - "Al Franken, Giant of the Senate"
Because what's better than one washed up un-funny has-been comic? Why TWO of them, of course...

Bruce Bleu said...

I'm with Emmentaler Limburger on this one... "Kathy Griffin" is actually Dee Snider in drag!
Baboon proctologists see more attractive sights than someone watching this dried-up old hag. I am told "she" removes "her" clothes during a performance just to keep the attention of 13 year old boys.