Wednesday, June 7, 2017
Blank Reality Check
With the announcement that 25-year old "Reality Winner" (no, really) had been arrested for stealing and leaking top secret documents, it became clear to us that a near and dear friend who was very ill for a very long time had finally been pushed over the brink: we regret to say that Satire is dead.
Because seriously, when a story gets this "in your face" ridiculous - what details are left for us to push to humorous extremes?!
Start with her name: "Reality Winner." Then let's tick off the other boxes: lesbian bodybuilder, ardent Bernie Sanders supporter, a "Black Lives Matter" enthusiast who (though white herself) argues that "Being white is terrorism." A woman whose social media posts include referring to the President of the United States as a "piece of shit" and the "Tangerine in chief," who additionally declares that in a war between the US and Iran, she'll side with Iran.
And still...STILL...she was given a top secret security clearance and access to classified materials. Which raises two very troubling questions: just what in blazing Hell does someone have to do to not get a security clearance, and how many other angry, ignorant, communist-leaning, anti-American social justice warriors are currently embedded in (and sabotaging) our intelligence agencies?!
We're guessing the number to be terrifyingly high, but can't know for sure because trying to find out would require functional intelligence agencies. And that ship, like Satire, has sailed.
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM