Monday, June 19, 2017

Father's Day 2017

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, father's day, clinton, webb hubbell, DAW, Lion and the Mouse

Sure, it's not exactly topical - but we couldn't let Father's Day go by without poking a little fun at the wild and woolly Clinton family, and restate our suspicion that (unlike certain blue dresses we could name) Chelsea has no trace of Bill's DNA.

And speaking of the Clintons, what ever happened to the investigations that were supposed to be happening to look into the ugly relationship between "contributions" to the demonstrably bogus Clinton Foundation and "favors" granted to high-rollers by Hillary's State Department? As long as we've got Special Counsels galloping around Washington with their hair on fire, why not put one on her tail?

But we digress. We're writing this on Father's Day, so are unsurprisingly thinking fondly of our Dad who doodled lots of cartoons like this one:

...and who wrote stories for innocent, trusting children like this one:

He's been gone for 11 years, but his influence remains strong. Not just on our somewhat unusual sense of humor, but also in our day-to-day pursuit of morality, responsibility, and decency.

You are much missed, Pa. 


JP said...

can't say I agree there on Chelsea.
She all to often looks like younger Bill in Drag.

Jim Irre said...

Yeah, but that full, pouty, lower lip . . .

Jack Wiegman said...

Bravo! Thanks.

Bobo the Hobo said...

I had to save the tale of The Lion and the Mouse - gotta say, I did not see that coming. Bravo!

Kitty said...

A Webb of intrigue surrounds the lovely and talented Chelsea and her DNA.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Father's Day from Groucho:

And Junyer Bear:

Fred Ciampi said...

Chelsea's last name should be Webb. It was well known that the hildabeast was having an affair with Webb and looking at a picture of Chelsea and Webb Hubble erases all doubt.

Geoff King said...

Considering Hilarity's other partner at the Rose Law Firm was Vince Foster, it does seem like some form of favoritism that Webb Hubble is still alive.

TrickyRicky said...

Stilton, the cartoon with the dog cracked me up. I came here today after perusing the Johnny cartoon. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree does it?

Wishing fond memories for those of us who have lost our Dads. Can't conceive that it's been 19 years in my case.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Local News yesterday was full of story of little girl who had her arm and foot successfully re-attached after a pit bull attack...
Just goes to show you some people can suck the funny out of any cartoon (Looking at YOU, Ms Griffen)

REM1875 said...

Happy Father days to one and all

Paul D Garber said...

Reading the story of the Lion and the Mouse, I can see where you got your sense of humor. Thank God for Father's who passed good traits along like your Dad and my late Father...Who passed on the ability to snore loud enough to register on the Richter Scale.

John the Econ said...

If Chelsea had any trace of Bill's DNA, that would be disgusting.

Investigations into the real Russia election corruption: Not holding my breath.

It's difficult for me to get very exited about it. After all, it was the Democrats who lectured us before November than there was no interference, and that questioning the outcome of the election was unpatriotic. Of course, that was back when Hillary was "inevitable". So now we need endless investigations, but interestingly not into the people who actually did pocket millions of dollars on behalf of Russian interests, or the people who were in charge who assured us that there was no Russian interference until they decided there was.

But I have to admit, I've been amused by mainstream Democrats who now act like the unhinged birthers did 8 years ago, with their endless "We've got him now!" stories that go absolutely nowhere, except perhaps back to the Clintons.

Fathers: It's clear where your humor and art emanated from.

Unknown said...

You have some good memories of your Dad. Lost mine about 15 years ago..

Thanks for sharing.

Colby Muenster said...

Twisted and funny! I love your Dad's sense of humor. The lion and mouse story reminded me of the snow bird poem I learned when I was a kid:

Little birdy in the snow
Broken wing and could not go
Coaxed him with a crust of bread
Then I crushed his little head

Ok... maybe a little too twisted...

Concerning the Clinton off spring, I'm sticking to the Rosemary's Baby theory. Or maybe I'm thinking of Dorothy Rodham. Or maybe it's, "like mother, like daughter?"

@John the Econ,
The only thing shorter than a Liberal's attention span is his (or her) memory. We're supposed to pretend the uranium deal never happened, and the stupid "reset button" too. Hell, for all we know, Vlad Putin might be Chelsea's Pa.

John the Econ said...

@Colby Muenster, one of my favorite examples of "programmed amnesia" comes from the first Clinton era, when the cover narratives for the scandal of the day would have to be changed to accommodate new, unfortunate or embarrassing facts. The Clinton's press secretary would say "That account is no longer operative." In other words, we got caught in a bald-faced lie, so here's today's new narrative that will accommodates that. You will now forget what we said about this yesterday, at which point the sycophantic media would jot it down and regurgitate as the new "fact". The next day, repeat. It worked that way for 8 years.

Fortunately, the Internet makes getting away scott-free a bit more difficult these days, not that they still don't try:

Viral Fake News Screenshot Montage

Fritzchen said...

Your father's cartoon reminds me of James Thurber with a tad of Charles Adams thrown in! Not a bad company that! May the memories of our dads always make us smile.

Unknown said...

Loved the cartoons. Thanks.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@JP- I see a lot of Hillary in Chelsea, but personally I don't see any Bill. Which is more of an observation than complaint (grin).

@Jim Irre- The lower lip, bulbous nose, and slightly inbred look all make me think of Hubbell.

@Jack Wiegman- Somewhere, my Dad is smiling because of your comment!

@Bobo the Hobo- My Dad would be pleased. Glad you liked it!

@Kitty- Well played!

@M. Mitchell Marmel- I enjoyed both clips, but particularly the one with the three bears. Classic stuff!

@Fred Ciampi- I'd love to see the results of a DNA test.

@Geoff King- Hubbell has been left alive in case Chelsea ever needs an organ donor.

@TrickyRicky- The similarities between my Dad and myself are little short of frightening at this point. But in a good way. Mostly. (Grin) And I'm genuinely sorry about your father. Until I lost both of my parents, I didn't realize one could still feel like an orphan in their 60's.

@Pete (Detroit)- Yikes! I hope that surgery went well! I also hope that nobody sends my Dad's cartoon to the family!

@REM1875- And to all a good night! (No, I don't know what that's supposed to mean.)

@Paul D Garber- My father was an awesome snorer and I got his gift. Fortunately, I can use a CPAP machine so my wife can enjoy a quiet night's sleep and a husband who looks like he's piloting a fighter jet.

@John the Econ- The whole Russia brouhaha is something I can't bring myself to care about, apart from my annoyance at such idiocy. As you point out, there are plenty of REAL misdeeds to investigate, but the Dems don't want to follow those particular leads.

@Tracy Evans- Sorry about your father. And yes, I have many good memories of my Dad - and lots of cartoons, artworks, and written pieces that he left behind.

@Colby Muenster- Wow, that WAS dark! Reminded me of a different poem I learned as a kid:

Birdy, birdy in the sky
Why'd you poo-poo in my eye?
I'm a big boy, I won't cry
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.

@John the Econ- Isn't it amazing that such transparent BS simply worked during the Clinton administration? I believe they're also credited with creating "scandal fatique" - so many simultaneous scandals that people lose interest in all of them.

@Fritz Brohn- Books by Thurber and Addams were definitely in our family library, and my Dad's earliest stuff looks very "Thurber-y." His middle period cartoons look like Virgil Partch's work, and his later stuff just looked like his very own style. And yes, my Dad's cartoons and funny writings always do make me smile!

@S.B. Sweeney- I'm glad you enjoyed them!

Pete (Detroit) said...

Stilt, I won't if YOU don't.
Emmentaller, OTOH...
Last report, still serious, but expected to recover.

Totally off topic - I understand about Millers, Smiths, Coopers etc...
But what happened when to get a family moniker of "Warmbeer"?

Judi King said...

RE: Russia. Why don't any of the morons calling for an "investigation" into Trump/Russian collusion ask WHY? Why would Russia want Trump to win our election when now they are testing us militarily and the media wonks are talking about WW3? It seems to me that Russia would have wanted a Clinton win to keep the same old status quo in place. This is such a stupid waste of time and our money.
Happy belated Father's Day to all of you who are Dads and thank God for you.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Ah! Birdie poems...

When I woke up this morning
the dawn was soft and still
A little robin came and sat
upon my window sill
He tipped his head and looked at me
his eyes so bright and clear
He chirped a little melody
My morning thoughts to cheer
His song he sang so sweetly
Without a moments lull
I gently closed the window
and crushed his f@#$ing skull.

Or this gem:

The sun was shining brightly
And i could hardly wait
To raise my breakfast window
And gaze upon God’s glorious estate

The breeze was blowing gently
It made the flowers sway
All nature was enchanting
On this magical day

I spied a little yellow bird
With a tender yellow bill
I beckoned him to come and light
Upon my window sill

He sang me songs so cheerfully
As I fed him crusts of bread
Then I quickly closed the window
And smashed his f@#$ing head

@Stilton: In a cheesy coincidence, it would appear our fathers passed in the same year - bless them both! I, too, inherited my sense of humor from my dad. Also, an innate ability to figure and fix just about anything that comes into my hands, and an incredibly inventive mind that even I wonder at. I always wonder what more magnificent things he could have achieved if he, too, had the internet at hand. But he had his books and the library to research his projects. My children have quite a legacy to uphold and, so far, show great promise! I hope the idiot politicians aren't successful in their bent to screw the world up for them...

@Pete: Really? You'd think me that low? (I wonder if it's too late to fish it out of the mailbox. Says pickup at 1:00. Still have time...)

Colby Muenster said...

Good question. I knew some folks named Outhouse and Boner when I was growing up in Wyoming. Always wondered about those names' origins...

Anonymous said...

The new "23 and Me" genetic tests showed poor Chelsea was the lacking offspring of Hillary and Howdy Doody. Sadly photos speak for themselves.