Wednesday, June 5, 2019
Film at Eleavenworth
Because Hollywood wasn't already sickening enough, Hillary Clinton and daughter Chelsea have just announced their intention to create a new production company which will "plan to focus on stories by and about women." Including, we presume, those many unfortunate women born with tallywhackers.
The duo are following in the footsteps of other political figures who have recently struck big development deals, including Barack and Michelle Obama, Valerie Jarrett, and Susan Rice - all of whom will bring a rich diversity of socio-political voices to an industry which was starving for politically correct Progressive content.
The company being formed by Hillary and Chelsea (who are already involved in aggressive fundraising) is intended to capture the nation's hearts and minds from the very start...
Impressively, Bleachbitch Productions already has a full slate of films in the works (none of which will be shot in Georgia owing to an expected shortage of dead babies) which will appeal to fans of every film genre. To date, the projects announced include:
THE STOLEN THRONE (Historical Drama) - On the eve of the coronation of a new Queen, an evil court jester seizes power with help from scheming cossacks and deplorable peasants.
OH, WHAT A TANGLED WEBB (Comedy) - A young socialite is stunned to realize that she's the spitting image of her mother's ham-faced goofball former law partner.
GLOW (Action Thriller) - Cancer-stricken Russian orphans will die without radiation treatments. With time running out, one woman risks everything to get them a life-saving supply of U.S. uranium.
HONEY, I ERASED YOUR WEDDING (Comedy) - The wedding of the century is put at risk when the bride's mother accidentally erases a computer hard drive containing all the plans.
DEVIL WITH THE BLUE DRESS (Horror) - A family's personal and professional lives become a living Hell when they're haunted by a vengeful spirit in a stained dress.
IT'S A LIVING! (Romantic Comedy) - She's young, in love, and a con-artist who skims donations from third world dysentery victims. Now she'll take any job to keep her boyfriend from finding out!
ARKANCIDE (Suspense) - One by one, a powerful woman's enemies are dying in strange ways. To clear her name, she must find the real killer with the help of a dangerously violent former football player.
They all sound great and they're all coming soon to a theater, or federal prison, near you!
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM