Friday, June 7, 2019
Shrieker of the House
The above cartoon accurately quotes the seditious Nancy Pelosi, but the words we've put in Trump's mouth simply represent our fantasy...and what we've been personally muttering about Pelosi for quite awhile.
Pelosi's remarks were made while she was conspiring with Jerry "Quick, Get Me An Orange" Nadler and other high-ranking Democrats about whether or not to impeach Trump. Meanwhile, the President was busy overseas, commemorating the 75th Anniversary of D-Day, meeting with heads of state, and "winning hugely" on every front.
Pelosi, on the other hand, is caught in an internal power struggle amongst Democrats who are torn (albeit not in the drawn-and-quartered sense, we're sorry to say) about a possible impeachment action against Trump. Pelosi is fighting the tide in her own party, saying that Trump should not be impeached because it will galvanize his base for the 2020 election, and that she would rather see him defeated at the polls and subsequently tried, convicted, and imprisoned for his "crimes."
Additionally, Pelosi is telling the pitchforks-and-torches contingent in her party that for an impeachment to proceed, two important conditions must be met: public support and strong bipartisan backing. We would have thought another necessary condition would be having evidence of high crimes and misdemeanors, but apparently Nancy can skip this inconsequential Constitutional detail as long as she feels like her withered political ass is covered.
FROM THE CRYPT...ER, VAULT
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM