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Monday, February 3, 2020

The Big Game


Controversy erupted Sunday when the results of the Super Bowl, which was widely expected to be over and done with by now, were declared illegitimate by the San Francisco 49ers.

“Our team presented an unbeatable case for the offense,” sniffed 49ers quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo, “and the defense presented by the Chiefs was completely meaningless and, frankly, an insult to the good people watching these historic proceedings on television."

"But what really did us in," Garoppolo continued, "Was the Chiefs' insistence that the game be decided with only our standard number of players on the field when we, and the American people, wanted to call additional players onto the field to help make our case for victory!” 

Chiefs' quarterback Patrick Mahomes said that the case for letting the opposing team call for additional players on the field was unnecessary and a waste of everyone’s time. “Look, everyone already knew what the outcome would be,” stated Mahomes. “Why stretch things out with additional players who have absolutely nothing new to offer?”

Further tainting the results were accusations of misconduct by one referee. “That whistleblower was totally on their side,” accused Mahomes, “but Garoppolo claims he doesn’t know who the whistleblower is and never even met him! Give me a (bleep)-ing break.”

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There is no joy in San Francisco.

43 comments:

Regnad Kcin said...

"Are you not entertained ?" -Maximus- from "Gladiator"

Unknown said...

What is a super bowl? I've heard of this name before. I think it has something to do with watching others get sloshed in stale beer.

Fish Out of Water said...

While not directly related to the Super Bowl, this links might provide a sad, Monday morning grin.

https://wtop.com/baltimore/2020/02/baltimore-plans-to-borrow-strategies-from-chicago-to-crack-down-on-violence/

Jim Irre said...

Don't even need to read it to know the outcome.

Anonymous said...

But heap BIG joy in Kansas City. All people so glad here; many tribes. But braves did not take scalps; no want them.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Good thing for San Francisco and Pelosi, they won’t have to clean up all the human waste from the streets for a victory parade.

Re: Baltimore: Isn't that like asking Kobe Bryant for flying lessons?

jpb252 said...

I've heard talk that once Trump is acquitted, the Democrats might open a second impeachment inquiry. And you know, the current crop of Democrats in Congress just might be stupid enough to do it.

Anonymous said...

It just isn't Nancy Pelosi's year, is it. Most of the people I know about the game score even said that out loud. Pelosi has really stepped in it this time, she barely made it through the last time.

REM1875 said...

Bravo Stilton !!!...........Well done !!!..... What an accurate portrayal of the schiff show that has gone on way too long ........

Anonymous said...

Kansas City's got them a Super Bowl trophy to go with all those crazy little women there. San Fran's stuck with crazy Nan.

Geoff King said...

The Halftime show with pole dancing and a bunch of semi naked women gyrating around is sure to be dissed by the feminists.
I am glad that KC got their first Superbowl win in 50 years. I certainly was not rooting for San Franshitsco.

Alfonso Bedoya said...

My wife and I moved out of Commiefornia nine months ago, having lived 60 miles north of San Franshitco (Sonoma County). We were both rooting for the Chiefs.

Mark E McKinney said...

Well done. Well done. I like the way you think!

Joe Jetson said...

Despite being soundly defeated, San Francisco has demanded and received an unspecified amount of "challenges" which will result in the Big Game not being formally decided until sometime Wednesday.

TrickyRicky said...

Stilton, fantastic satire. Thanks once again for what you do to inform, entertain, and generally make my day M-W-F.

Fritzchen said...

Everything's up to Date in Kansas City!

Anonymous said...

Nailed it!

Joe Harwell

MAJ Arkay said...

@unknown, I thought they were talking about Superb Owl, and the owl discussion ensued.

The only thing good about that stupid game was Sam Elliott's mustache moves.

igor said...

jpb252,
"I've heard talk that once Trump is acquitted, the Democrats might open a second impeachment inquiry. And you know, the current crop of Democrats in Congress just might be stupid enough to do it." Trust me, it's already begun, because the DimWits ARE stupid enough.

It's like hitting yourself on the head with a hammer - it feels so good when you stop!

Anonymous said...

Ya can't make it up. The Dems' tantrum would be amusing if they weren't so dangerous. They are 2 year olds with power.
_revjen45

Sortahwitte said...

I accidentally turned the tv on this morning. And, you guessed it, the dims reps were STILL in front of the senate chamber droning, whining, crying, and being the same type of people(?) they were last week. I thought we had seen the last of the "Who's your clown?" game show. Go away, please, just stfu and go away.
I actually know they won't, but please allow me to have my own fantasy.

Hey! How "bout them chinee? If you are sick unto death, export it! What a deal. I hope you folks have prepared. Water, food, etc.(if you know what I mean and I think you do) My family is prepared to hunker down for at least 2 weeks. I think that's a minimum. Maybe it will happen and maybe it won't. Err on the side of health and life.
It's up to you. You DON'T want the guv'ment to handle it.

John the Econ said...

Relevant and funny. Right on, @Stilton.

I've long argued that the Progressive agenda should be applied to professional sports, just so that it would be painfully obvious to all how utterly destructive Progressivism is to any endevour that strives to be anything other than mediocre.

@jpb252, of course. Even before November 2016, various Democrats voiced their plan that should Trump get elected, they were going to impeach him. Ever since, they've struggled to find any pretense that could stick. Their big hope of "Russian collusion" (based upon a phony dossier bought from Russians by the Democrats and Hillary Clinton) landed with a massive thud. A phone call regarding malfeasance actually conducted by the Obama Administration isn't going to do it. They're just going to keep at it until they find something that works. From this moment forward to forever, any Republican President should just assume that they will be facing impeachment charges from Congressional Democrats from the moment they become a front-runner. It has already become utterly meaningless.

At least it will be until the day we have a Republican President and the Democrats own both the Senate and the House. Then we might be on the cusp of a civil war.

@Geoff King, I was in a room of middle-aged men and women (some who were actual "feminists") and it was pretty much dissed by everyone. At one point, I said "The only thing this show is missing is a pole", and sure enough 5 seconds later there was one.

"Jack Colby" said...

There aren't too many situations in life that can't be illuminated somehow by that masterpiece of the cinema, Animal House. The advice I've often drawn from the film can be summed up in word, "Toga!!!!!" But in this case, I can see Reps. Schiff and Nadler, sitting in Speaker Pelosi's office, and telling her, "Hey, you f*cked up - you trusted us."

Colby Muenster said...

Fine analogy, Stilton! Perhaps liberals might begin to understand their absurdity if it was continually being compared to sports. Then again, maybe not. Can you picture Saucer-eye Schiff or Humpty Dumpty Nadler actually watching a football game?

Halftime show... so there the missus and I are, watching the Stupor Bowl with some of our grandkids, one of whom is 13 years old. I'd like the thank the NFL for pawning this shit off as "family entertainment." A grampa shouldn't have to suddenly change channels when watching a supposed sporting event, so their grandkid isn't subjected to women shaking their crotches in front of a camera.

May I suggest y'all write a nice little letter to asswipe Roger Goodell. I did. I know it will likely end up in the shredder unread, but if enough of us complain, maybe they'll get real musicians next year instead of pole dancers lip-synching to a recording.

@MAJ Arkay,
I'll second your thoughts on Sam Elliot!

"Jack Colby" said...

@John the Econ: an alternative might be to re-elect The Donald and make the Dems the minority party in both houses of Congress. THAT may be the only thing that can get their (the Dems) attention.

Shelly said...

Bravo, Stilton, great satire and totally on point. I, for one, do hope the Democrats continue their efforts to impeach the president. I'm pretty sure that will guarantee not only the president's reelection and retention of the Senate majority but also regaining the House majority. Donald Trump needs a full term where Congress does its job, works with the president on behalf of the citizens and shuts down the hateful and anti-American power-hungry Dims.

Rod said...

I have not been following either "lady" but kind-of watched the half time show; thought it was a bit too "adult" for Superbowl. Then did some research. JLo is 50 years old and still good looking (probably with help) but it seems time for her to give THIS stuff up. Shakira was a surprise to me; she's 43 but IMO stole the show. A singer as well... but WOW that woman can still move. To the game: Soooo glad KC Chiefs did their come-from behind bit again; but that's also wearing thin.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@ John the Econ:

"I've long argued that the Progressive agenda should be applied to professional sports, just so that it would be painfully obvious to all how utterly destructive Progressivism is to any endeavour that strives to be anything other than mediocre."

Kurt Vonnegut is over five decades ahead of ya:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harrison_Bergeron

;-)

Geoff King said...

I was kinda partial to Bill Murray's Groundhog Day Jeep commercial. Not only because that was one of my favorite Murray comedies, but I also do own a Jeep and have always heard that groundhogs taste like chicken.

Howard Johnson said...

When I read this this morning, I was under the belief that the 49ers had won in a blow out.

Now I far better understand what Stilt was doing and am DELIGHTED!

Way to go Stilt!!!!!!!!

Fish Out of Water said...

Was disappointed with the Trump commercial on one point: In the commercial, Pence is listed as the running mate for 2020. Not that I have any animus for him, but he strikes me as about as plain as plain vanilla gets. In other words, not electable in 2024.

Would really like to see President Trump thank Pence for his service as VP and put Nikki Haley on the ticket as heir-apparent.

millard fillmore said...

The note about it feeling so good when you quit hitting yourself with a hammer brought back fond memories.Last summer,the day before the Greenville,N.C. Trump rally.My son and I were working under the house,and I managed to hit myself squarely in the face with a 'small' sledgehammer.He dragged me out,but one eye and my only nose swelled up pretty good.My wife,a big Trump fan,said we had to go to the rally anyway.So we drive for 2 hours,wait in line,and finally get in.Soon enough Trump is talking,and I'm distracted by the really nice looking dark haired Secret Service agent in the balcony.I'm still a bit woozy,and was probably pretty obvious about it.The wife was just watching Trump,but Trump,liking the full attention of the audience,is looking right at me,probably because of the black eye and swelled nose,and he follows my gaze to the balcony.He looks at me again,and with a 'Yeah,I get it' nod,goes back to his speech.I went back to staring at the Secret Service agent,and everybody was happy,except for the democrats behind me,who were being paid to start the 'lock her up' chant that everyone talks about from that rally.I still have that hammer,by the way,but I don't remember the point I was making.

JustaJeepGuy said...


I don't remember how I found it, but I saw the Bill Murray Groundhog Day Jeep Gladiator ad last night. I had no idea it had anything to do with the super bowl. I can now say that I have an unbroken string--fifty-four years long--of NOT watching the super bowl. I have probably seen a total of an hour, possibly two hours, of football over the last 55-60 years. I am not a fan.

Colby, Jack said...

As far as the Superb Bowl halftime show goes, it was just living proof that professional football and America go together, like Bacon & Eggs. Like Hookers & Blow. Like Strippers and Professional Athletes.

Colby, Jack said...

RE the hitting your head with a hammer analogy: Congressional Dems have been hitting everybody else on the head with that hammer, not themselves. And yeah, it'll feel really good when they stop. If they can; I fear that nothing short of losing the Presidency AND both houses of Congress will get their attention.

John the Econ said...

Well, it looks like we got a test run as to how November is going to go. The Democrats have delayed releasing the results of last night's Iowa caucus for "quality control". I'm assuming that the "quality control" means making sure that Bernie is not the winner, again.

If these clowns can't run a state-wide election, I don't have much faith in them running my health care. Or anything.

Half-time show: The performers in the Superbowl half-time show do so for free. Which is good because I didn't bring a pocket-full of dollar bills with me.

Pat Cummings said...

Don't do it, Joe! You have too much to live for! On a totally different topic, several Democrat primary candidates are reported to be flirting with having HRC as their running mates!
https://theblacksphere.net/2020/02/hillary-clinton-flirting-with-vp-spot/

Hey, if you can't beat your opponent in the 2016 election, you can always hope for an Arkancide for the guy whose coattails you rode! (Always presuming that a 2020 Whoever-Clinton ticket would be any more able to beat Trump-Pence than the 2016 Clinton-Whoever ticket was...)

Then there's the fact that you have a ready-made excuse when Trump emerges victorious again! Because defeat is never Hillary's fault.

Rod said...

@ Colby,Jack #2 above. Dims might get the reality a little more clearly, then cease & desist if/when some of their key people get prison time and loss of benefits as well.

@ John the Econ: Good snip about the half-time show; well played.

I'm interested of course but the fact is: How clowns rank in this Iowa Dim Caucus doesn't mean much. Especially when compared to this evening & tomorrow for Trump & team, and for all of us.

We need at least a mature, patriotic, two party system & don't have one now. IMO Former Gov. & now Sr. Sen. Manchin of W. Virginia may be the closest person to an experienced, realistic statesman as Dims have. It says a lot that he's not in the race. They should listen to him; and also lock Pelosi, Nadler & Schiff in a closet with No mics or cameras.

John the Econ said...

@Rod said "We need at least a mature, patriotic, two party system & don't have one now."

This is what I tell my Democrat friends: Say what you will about how theoretically mediocre and corrupt Trump may be, but he only gets to be President because no other party is presenting anything any better."

All the Democrats had to do to win in '16 was present a candidate who wasn't transparently corrupt and was a decent human being. Instead we were presented the least-charming Clinton.

In 2020, all they had to do was present a candidate who isn't transparently corrupt and isn't a fascist/socialist/communist.

As long as the Democrats are as corrupt and/or radical as they are today, the GOP doesn't have to be all that much better.

Anonymous said...

panem et circenses

Rod said...

It's truly fascinating that Klobuchar who also received less than the required threshold 15% for any delegates in first round to earn delegates benefited SO MUCH as to WIN the second round in which voters supporting anyone with less than 15% of the vote in first round must vote for their remaining preference. I don't know how they do that; but in the second round she then WON over the top 4 in first round (jumping from #5 to #1) with 1/3 of the vote; and Biden dropped even lower to #5 with under 5%. And of course all this is based on only 62% of vote; and there is no data about the confidence at 62% nor the demographics of the remaining 38%; nor the ETA for 100% returns But all this is 99.9 guaranteed pure truth. Bottom line: A real mess. This plus the SOTU address tonight and the final Impeachment vote tomorrow make it a real hat-trick in just these 2-3 days. History in the making.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- I've got to apologize to all of you. Such great comments above, but I was busy with some family matters and couldn't get to the blog to respond, after which I heard the news about Rush Limbaugh's cancer diagnosis and it hit me so hard that I was left speechless for a bit. I'm glad, though entirely unsurprised, to see that vigorous and delightful dialogues continued here without much need for me!

Navyvet said...

Frankly this is all a total waste of time and energy. Granted we would like to delay the taking over of America by the Communists for a few more years, but their takeover is inevitable. The Democrats/Communists front runner for POTUS is an admitted and avowed Communist. His expected running mate is an admitted and avowed communist. The mayors of San Francisco, New York City, Chicago, Baltimore, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, and many other, are all hard core communists. The states of California, Washington, Oregon, Minnesota, New York, Virginia, and many more have communist governors. Nearly all colleges, universities, and public schools are under the control to communists. The media...enough said.
It's over folks. Probably by 2024 and for sure by 2028 the USA will be under total communist control. Free stuff for everyone.