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Friday, September 18, 2020

Fatherly Wisdom

It is said that those who forget History are doomed to repeat it. Which is also true of other required classes like English and Biology, even though those subjects don't have snappy catchphrases.

But as we watch the current political power grab and the dismaying loss of moral clarity in the streets, we might do well to look to the lessons which history has to tell us. 

And so, as a special Friday treat, we present this instructive tale translated by Stilton's father. And yes, the film rights are available.

King, princes, fable, moral, treasure, sinister tales, Pa
SIDE NOTE: 

This story really was written by my Dad - one of many he wished to compile in a book called "Sinister Tales for Sinister Children." Presumably so kids besides me and my siblings would be able to grow up filled with anxiety and paranoia.

One of these days, I still hope to put that book together. 

42 comments:

Sortahwitte said...

What a sweet, caring story. My granny told us kids the bedtime story of the beautiful princess and the handsome prince. They married and then they died. End of story. Now wash your dirty necks, shut up and go to bed.

Valvenator said...

I used to make up stories for my kids
(mostly my daughter) when I put them to bed.
Your dad beats me by a mile.

Mike aka Proof said...

Slacker! The third son probably had his own EBT card!

drjim said...

Put the book together!

I'd buy a copy...

HankJ said...

I want the book, or you shall be beheaded! (Not really, I just got carried away by the morale of the story).

j said...

your father had a great sense of humor, and his wisdom should indeed be bookified. In fact, his insight reminds me of an old saying from my childhood. "I was walking the streets feeling sad because I had no shoes. Then I turned a corner and saw a man who had no feet! So I asked if he had any shoes that he didn't need, and he beat me most mercilessly with his crutches."

Jim G. said...

The third son was a Democrat!

Rod said...

(sniffing and drying a tear) That story kind of gets me right here in the gut. [THUD]

Diogenes Sarcastica™ said...

I want a signed first edition of that book.

Bobo the Hobo said...

I totally love that story! It reminds me of when my cousin and I were younger we watched the Walt Disney film, “Pollyanna“.

“Pollyanna“ was the story of a cheerful little orphan girl who always found a way to see the best of a situation. She was brought up in her stern, rich aunt’s home. In the film, she used to say, “Now you can play the Glad Game!”

One scene in the film showed her explaining the Glad Game to the servants.

Pollyanna’s father was a missionary to Africa and Pollyanna lived with her parents. They had no true earthly possessions and depended on the charity of others for clothing and other goods. One day Pollyanna wanted a little doll to play with and she asked for it for Christmas. When the next charity barrels arrived, instead of a doll, Pollyanna received a pair of crutches. Seeing how disappointed his little daughter was, Pollyanna’s father thought of a way to see the good in any situation and came up with something he called the Glad Game. “You can be glad you don’t need crutches”, he told Pollyanna. “And you know, I was glad I didn’t need them!” she told them.

(It was at this point I changed the words that have become legend between my cousin and myself) “So I picked up the crutches and beat the shit out of Father and you know what, I was glad I received those crutches!”

Drew458 said...

"Once upon a time, they lived happily ever after. The end."

Bobo - Pollyana's family lived on charity and had no stuff. Yet they had servants? Wow, that is a fairy tale!

J - You should have backed up 3 steps and taunted him.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

4/3/95

ObGimp: I was at the hardware store the other day. Charging across the parking lot was a one armed man with a cart full of latex (emulsion UK) paint. I was tempted to go up to him and say: "Decided against wallpaper?"

----Julian Macassey on alt.tasteless

TrickyRicky said...

Great fable Stilton. You had better hurry putting that book together, or all the children in creation will already be filled with anxiety and paranoia.

Gee M said...

" Pollyana's family lived on charity and had no stuff. Yet they had servants? Wow, that is a fairy tale! "

Fake news!

As the story was laid out, the kid stayed with the stern RICH Aunt who had the servants...

Jeff said...

I second (third?) the motion for that book to be put together

Bobo the Hobo said...

BRB, off to hire a proofreader!

Fritzchen said...

The Princess and the Frog

Once upon a time there lived a princess who was neither beautiful nor ugly but plain. She was plain of face and frame, alas, and as such she was unable to attract a handsome, wealthy prince as a suitable husband. (This was before Estee Lauder, but that's another tale.)

Now where was I? Oh, yes

One day as she was walking through her father's estate, she chanced upon a secluded pool. It was a lovely place and, being somewhat fatigued by her wanderings, she sat there to rest awhile and enjoy the soothing surroundings.

Suddenly she heard a voice say, "Hey toots!"

She glanced about but saw nothing. "Hey toots! Down here on the lily pad!"

Looking down she saw a frog on a lily pad. "Are you speaking to me?", she said.

"Who else?", said the frog.

Well, to make a long story short, they schmoozed for awhile and the frog told her that he was a handsome prince that had been changed into a frog by an evil witch. "If you take me home and place me in your bed", he said, "by morning the curse will end and I shall be a handsome, wealthy prince again!"

"What the hell do I have to lose", she thought, so she did.

When morning broke, she found a handsome prince in her bed. They were married and lived happily ever after!

But you know, her mother and father still believe that story is bullshit!

John the Econ said...

So I'm assuming that it was the 3 elephants full of women that restored the king's health, or at least his will to live.

Speaking of being doomed to repeat history:

Nearly two-thirds of US young adults unaware 6m Jews killed in the Holocaust

"Almost two-thirds of young American adults do not know that 6 million Jews were killed during the Holocaust, and more than one in 10 believe Jews caused the Holocaust, a new survey has found, revealing shocking levels of ignorance about the greatest crime of the 20th century."

We supposed have the "best educated" generation ever with over a trillion-and-a-half of outstanding student loan debt to show for it. As leftists like to say, "Thank a teacher"!

More proof that we don't need to be spending more on "education". We should be spending much less considering the results we are getting.

Rod said...

A biggie back in the day: Manners, basic scholastics, some type of skill, or as a minimum a good presentation, common sense, honesty & good work ethic were FULLY EXPECTED to get any type of decent job. Add to that: It was the Viet Nam era with the Draft; and advanced education cost less less then, but funds were also scare. One did not waste tuition & books. One either did the work and it was real, individual work... or flunked out. Fear of Failure (or not having what one wanted) was REAL. Nearly entire communities & above agreed on this. There were more expectations than hand-outs; but there WAS parenting, church, easy & low cost team sports, youth organizations, less crap on TV, mentoring, opportunities and good bosses. But not so much time to waste.

I don't see much of that any more. And furthermore it does not seem to be a concern.

Murphy(AZ) said...

Moral of this story: Said the King, "I didn't raise no gotdam Hippie!

boron said...

I'm second in line after Diogenes Sarcastica™, aka "I call shotgun!"
Casting back over my 80 years, I don't believe I've ever read a more beautiful story.
BTW, Bobo the Hobo is not incorrect; since the princess' parents were missionaries, their servants were parishioners who provided their time and services gratis.

Colby Muenster said...

Stilton,

A great example of how the real world works! Keep 'em comin!' Or better yet, compile that book.

@John the Econ,
And the other third probably think the Jews had it coming. Thank you, public edu-macation. All six of my grandsons went to a charter school, and actually learned (gasp!) history. Folks, if you love your kids and country, keep them away from public schools at all costs!

Lee Akers Sr. said...

Great story, Stilt. Indeed you chuld put that book together.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Glad that you liked my Dad's story. There are many more where that came from, and dusting them off and getting fresh laughs makes me feel like my Dad is smiling from above (assuming he went that direction).

Noor al Haqiqa said...

Loved the story. Now I understand the forces that created your mad sense of humour! Your pop must have been one heckuva man.

Bobo said...


@Rod...Very, very correct!

Bobo said...


@Stilton...your dad went to heaven as I don't think the devil allows any funny stuff in hell.

Joe Jetson said...

Gotta' love that 'Happy Ending'.

NAN said...

Eagerly awaiting that book to be published! Love that Stilton humour.

Gee M said...

boron ...wrong.
You didn't read Bobo's post, 2nd para..." She was brought up in her stern, rich aunt’s home." "

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

This just in: RBG has passed away at age 87. Time for a fight that makes Kavanagh look like child's play...

Pete (Detroit) said...

3M - perfect example of "I try to never wish ill on anyone, but many an obituary I've read with great satisfaction." (or two that effect)
/M.Twain
Can't pretend to have been a fan of The GinsBorg, and I do wish she'd retired to enjoy her remaining years w/ her family, 2 or 3 years ago... But Horray, Trump gets another appointment! Hopefully those other useless feckless fecks, Kagan and Sickly Sotomayor (the WIDE latina) will also leave vacancies (because they retired, of COURSE! STOP!!) and he'll get two more strong, conservative women on the bench!

Joseph ET said...

Wow, I like Amy Coney Barrett for the new Supreme Court Justice. She's young, well educated and has experience. She's "described as an "originalist" and a "textualist."
"Barrett's judicial philosophy has been likened to that of her mentor and former boss, Antonin Scalia.
And the conservatives will have a smart female on their team.

JustaJeepGuy said...


I think the lefties have already decided that Amy Coney Barrett isn't a good choice for Supreme Court Justice because if she isn't a lefty, she ain't a woman, to paraphrase Gropey Joe Hidin'.

Gee M said...

With the insanity that is our American society now, we need a fully stocked SCOTUS...the election may be a bit contentious.
Sow the Wind, reap the whirlwind.
Trump is NOT gonna wait...get Justice Barrett ensconced onna Bench...right away. Thanks Grassley for the 51 majority rule change!
Whirlwind, etc...

Rod said...

With all due respect to the lady; and she had a very long run:

The idea that a sitting president "should, even must" procrastinate & defer action on filling a position on SCOTUS just to enable & empower this ongoing shit-show from the misguided Left is ridiculous. I'm unclear on where that ever originated anyway. Even if there is some precedent, it's not the Constitution nor the law. Trump is a doer.

I assume this will go along the lines of "What would Jesus do? (tongue firmly in cheek). What would the Democrats do? Well, Remember some big-eared empty suit that often seems to think he's JC ? Not that long ago he very arrogantly pronounced "Elections have consequences". He accidently told some truth; and there's no doubt Confirmation is the Senate's responsibility alone. Let them bitch; it helps with identification. And since the bitching isn't going to be "news"; Media focus on something else; or turn them off.

Fish Out of Water said...

Having seen what cancer did to my late father, I hope her passing was quiet and peaceful.

Even if President Trump does nominate a successor to Justice Ginsburg before the year is out, I do not see a vote before the new Congress is sworn in. Unlike the democrats, and their iron, lockstep discipline, the Republicans have too many wavering Senators which Schumer can count on to block the process. In fact Senators Collins & Murkowski have already stated they will not vote until after the election.

I also see the democrats dropping their campaign strategy(as if they had one) and turning her passing into a twisted martyrdom to divert attention from their 3+ years of obstruction, an attempted coup d'etat, neo-Borking (let's not forget Justice Kavanaugh) all because their amoral, vile and unfit, unqualified and unworthy candidate was "supposed" to win.

They will use Justice Ginsburg's passing to divert our attention from if brought into power, they will pack the Supreme Court, abolish the Electoral College, which has served our Republic well, and add our country to the long list of socialist failures.

Remember more than ever on Election Day, who has been, who are and who will always be the enemies of our Republic.

Edam Wensleydale said...

What amuses me is how Lucy's tribe is now beating on RBG's barely cool corpse...

https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/09/f-ruth-bader-ginsburg-f-not-retiring-obama-leftists-react-rbgs-death/

Dan said...

Too late to wish her a happy new year?

Edam Wensleydale said...

Dan, that's cold-blooded.

Wish *I'D've* thought of it... ;D

I DO have to say this DOES give a whole new meaning to "Yom Tov"...

JustaJeepGuy said...


@Edam Wensleydale, I saw things like that too. When President Trump was informed of RBG's death, he made very gracious comments and the commies have all lost their s#!t. And they're not the least bit self-aware enough to hear what they sound like being so hateful. The commies will turn on their own at the drop of a hat.

President Trump will make sure RBG gets a YUUUUUGE sendoff, and the commies will never acknowledge his actions. Oh, how I loathe the Demo_Rats!

OpenTheDoor said...

Sounds like an Antifa Tale.