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Wednesday, April 28, 2021

The First 100 Daze

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, biden, speech, 100 days, senile, asshole

Tonight Joe Biden will finally make a speech to Congress and the American people, talking about the many accomplishments of his first 100 days in office. These would include the bold, groundbreaking strides he's made in continuing Donald Trump's national vaccination campaign, presiding over a significant upswing in mass shootings and racial discord, and a complete dismantling of our nation's border security.

Joe has additionally popularized the use of the word "trillion" in casual conversation, as in "Hey, you know what else could use a trillion dollars? Some kind of family bill thingamajig!" And we're sure he'll take time to explain that every one of his trillion-dollar boondoggles will be fully funded by increasing taxes on the evil rich (those vile bastards). Granted, most financial experts agree that dramatically raising capital gains taxes to the level Biden wants will significantly decrease the amount of money coming into federal coffers, but it will at least cause tremendous pain to anyone who dared to invest in America - and isn't that what counts most?

Of course, we won't be watching Joe's speech - it's not good for our blood pressure to get that angry for so long and for so many reasons. Besides, based on his first 100 days, we feel pretty confident about our ability to accurately predict exactly what he's going to say: all we have to do is assume the worst possible logic being used to justify the policies most hateful and destructive to our nation. Peppered, of course, with a lot of long pauses, sentence fragments, imaginary words, and good old-fashioned malarkey.

43 comments:

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

As a reminder:

1 trillion dollars = $1,000,000,000,000.00 Be sure to use all the digits (or, if you can, the exact number to the penny) when you're discussing budgets and other works of fiction.

Julian said...

Love the image, but let's be honest.... those pretty gals are about 15 years too old for Beijing Biden's taste.
My love to your pup!

Mike aka Proof said...

"Peppered, of course, with a lot of long pauses, sentence fragments, imaginary words, and good old-fashioned malarkey.™ "

mahamis said...

And word salads!!! Do not forget the word salads!!!!

Fritzchen said...

Will he wear a mask that matches his Depends?

Jim Irre said...

Spend a dollar every second. How long to spend $1,000,000,000,000?

Drumroll! 31,709 years! Surely someone's prediction of death by global warming will have killed off the human race by then!

Jim Irre said...

I hope to never know!

Bobo the Hobo said...

I’m looking forward to hearing his folksy shit and how endearingly he screws the pouch with an ass-load of whatever mind-focusing medication they use to get him to utter a complete a sentence.

Regnad Kcin said...

Can't wait for Xiden's epic oratory tonite. I just hope it includes a laugh track along with Groucho Marx's "Say the secret word and win $100" duck dropping down from the overhead at the appropriate moment. Must head over to the adult beverage bodega and stock up on large quantities of Shiner Bock for this momentous occasion. This could be better than W. Churchill's address to Parliament telling Adolph to go piss up a rope. Oh, and be sure to watch for the marionette strings controlling his spastic gesturing to arouse all the
leftards sitting down front in the spit zone. How long will it take for Camel Toe to pull the plug when Xiden hits the fan ?

John25mm said...

Just remember in President Bidens world Too Young is just a chinese name.

TrickyRicky said...

You couldn't pay me to watch this shit show.

Well actually, you could. The bidding starts at $1,000,000,000.00

Bobo said...

If the cameras were focused on Ms Ross and Lefty Lucy holding the cue cards for tonight’s speech I’d be very encouraged to watch. Just say’n.

Snark said...

I would consider watching just for the comedic value of him trying to figure out the teleprompter. But the idea of wasting even a few seconds of however much life I have left watching that moron is too painful.

MsPony said...

Has it only been 100 days? Feels like forever...

KanB said...

There are poor bastards that are paid the big bucks so subject themselves this shitshow. I’ll just wait a few hours and enjoy for the blooper reel.

American Cowboy said...

@Fritzchen said... Will he wear a mask that matches his Depends?

In one area, definitely yes. They BOTH will be full of shit!

Redleger said...

Yesterday I received an email from Senator Sinema of AZ. In this email she talks about sponsoring a bipartisan bill to help with the crisis at the border. When in actuality what this bill will do is provide more support for illegal aliens. It does nothing to curb the influx.

As normal the leftist demon-crats are trying their best to wipe out all the good things accomplished by Trump, or take credit for them whilst blaming him for all the hate they've been stirring up the last 15 months.

Bill the Cat said...

It is hard to watch these things. I prefer to get the highlights from...Stilton's Place! Good luck monitoring this thing. Bring two bottles of your favorite elixir...take a shot every time he gets lost. Won't be long, and you'll be so smashed you will forget to turn off the TV...next thing you know...you'll wake up watching reruns of "The Price is Right".

Burner said...

New CDC guidelines today:
Wear a mask.
Don't wear a mask.
If you wear a mask, don't.
If you don't wear a mask, wear a mask.

I'm so glad they cleared this up, I was getting so confused...

Brie Camembert said...

Now dozy Joe Biden, he just keeps on hidin’
Away from the public at large.
He’s bumbling and stumbling and we are all grumbling
And wonder just who is in charge.

The border is open but Joe is just hopin’
That all of this just goes away.
He looks at his cue card and wonders how just hard
It is to get through every day.

He has his stock phrases but they his brain dazes.
He just utters– “well, anyway”.
But the media so love Joe though it’s clear that they all know
That Kamala is now ready to play.

Meanwhile on the world stage stand some folks who are quite sage
And watch senile Joe with a smile
As Xi and friend Putin just wait to start lootin’
Old Joe takes a nap for a while

John the Econ said...

I remember back in the '80s when "billion" became the new "million" in relation to expressing government spending. I never expected to live enough to see "trillion" become the new "billion. As @M. Mitchell Marmel points out above, that's a 1,000-fold increase in a level of spending that Congress is now comfortable with in barely a generation. Progressive congresscritters now let the term "trillion" escape their lips without reservation when expressing their spending hopes and dreams.

With increasing frequency, some of my Progressive friends post those insipid memes about how the uber-wealthy like Jeff Bezos ($177b), Elon Musk ($151b) and Bill Gates ($124b) should be taxed more in the name of "social justice". I have to point out that even if it were possible for the government to seize every dime that these 3 plus a dozen more on the richest Americans list are worth, it would barely put a dent in the debt that Biden has already committed to and has promised to spend within his first hundred days in office. So where is the rest of this money going to come from?

Hint: It won't be from the uber-wealthy.

For the last month, the Biden Administration has been floating their Progressive grand tax wet-schemes, which they promise will only affect the really, really, really more wealthy than you. But as I pointed out above, that's just not possible for several reasons. Also consider that for decades now I've argued that the Democrat Party is now the political party of the very wealthy virtue signalling crowd and the very poor. The very wealthy today are more than comfortable expressing their love of all things Progressive, including wealth redistribution. But do you believe they really mean it, or are they already on their phones with their representatives letting them know that their campaign donations next year and in '24 will not be going to Democrats, especially if they no longer have any cash to donate. The very poor are happy to donate their votes. But the Democrats will also need the votes and campaign cash of the very wealthy to survive.

(This is why Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren were never a serious contender for the party nomination last year; the big donors wouldn't have them)

So now consider that many of Biden's wealth zapping tax proposals targeted at the super-wealthy are already falling by the wayside. Expect more parts of this agenda to fall off the list long before any of this starts getting written into bills that will have to worth their way though Congress.

So whatever tax increases do make it into law, expect them to hit the middle class far more harshly and far less on wealthy Democrat donors than advertised.

Sorry, folks. Contrary to Progressive rhetoric, the middle class is still where the bulk of the wealth is in the US, and they are coming for YOU!

John the Econ said...

But that's not even the worst of it. For years I've argued that as soon as the Democrats get a solid hold on the White House and both chambers of Congress, far more decimating taxes to the middle class will emerge, including the hideous "imputed income" tax (taxing unrealized gains on property you own free-and-clear, because "fairness!") and the VAT, (Value Added Tax) which is far less transparent than a simple sales tax and is popular in Europe. When taxes from the "rich" inevitably come up short, expect these to rear their ugly heads, especially when inflation starts to become too real to ignore.

Now, I could be wrong about that last part if the Modern Monetary Theory folks get their way, as they appear to have for the last year. MMT is a neo-Keynesian fantasy that suggests the government can just continue to print money (as it's been doing for the last two decades) with abandon, and never seriously address the politically unpleasant aspect of taxation. In the case of MMT, the taxation actually does happen, but without a single vote in Congress or the signature of a President, which also makes it popular with the political class. Instead, this tax ends up being in the form of inflation, which is very regressive and attacks the poorest the most harshly (who have to spend more 100% or more of their income on goods and services) and the wealthiest the least harshly (who spend the least percentage of their wealth on goods and services while also benefiting from the appreciation of the value of held assets)

My guess is that the super-wealthy Democrats won't mind the poor taking the bit hit for their calorie-free "social justice" rhetoric.

Unrelated - CDC on Face Diapers: People in my part of the country (aka a "neanderthal state") are getting a big laugh out of yesterday's change in CDC guidance that just now acknowledges what we've known for well over a year, that wearing masks outside isn't necessary if your vaccinated. We've never been required to wear masks outdoors, vaccinated or not. Because "Science!".

Shelly said...

I'd rather watch a rerun of the Oscars (which Elton John said looked like it was held at a Starbucks) than tune into that demented old geezer tonight. I've had 50 years of him and that's way more than enough. I heard that seating in the House will be by invitation only and limited to 200 people, all of whom have been vaccinated, as are those who are not invited. Gotta get that virtue signaling on camera. I pray he'll go off into an addled rant and start wandering around the room, but I can wait until tomorrow to see only those snippets of this farce.

Sortahwitte said...

I won't be watching bat flu xiden this evening. The performance should be telling. He and his minions have had forever to polish up this turd. Will he be coherent? Hell, no! Will he be offering reconciliation to pull us all together? Hell, no! He will be reading the teleprompter, with difficulty, as spreadeagle appears to hover over his right shoulder, dressed like a big, black crow looking for a mouse? Probably. We are well and truly f*cked.
Goodnight Gracie, goodnight Mrs. Callahan, and goodnight to our republic.

Colby Muenster said...

Ahh man! I'd love to watch an hour of Joe losing his place on the teleprompter, trashing rich people, white people, police, and everybody else he promised to work with, but there is a Gidget marathon on tonight. But seriously, folks... I hope ALL Republicans dress in white and just sit and pout through the whole thing. Or better yet, not even attend.

@Brie Camembert,
Awesome!!

@John the Econ,
If I've learned nothing else in my 69 years, it's this. Only the middle class pays taxes. Taxes on the rich only exist in the minds of easily deceived fools, taxes on the poor don't exist at all, corporate taxes are passed on the the consumer.

Concerning masks outdoors, who the f**k wears a mask outdoors, and who actually waits for permission from the CDC to stop doing so? I guess it's the same people who huddled alone in their houses for Thanksgiving and Christmas, afraid to even be with family.

Rumor has it that NC's gubernator, Roy Pooper is going to lift the mask mandate the end of May. Sorry to break this to you, Roy, but people have already taken that into their own hands. Every day, I see more and more people in public places without masks, effectively giving the middle finger to dickheads like Pooper, Fauci, SloJoe, Kameltoe, and the CDC.

I like that! It's far past time for free thinking Americans to refuse to continue going along with the gubmint's Covid driven power grab. Places like Florida, Texas, and yes, even Sweden, have proven to me that we need to move on in a normal fashion, WITHOUT freaking masks. Perhaps reasonable social distancing is still in order, but even that has to go eventually.

Sorry to rant.

John the Econ said...

I just read that Biden's "screw the rich" tax plan is going to collect a whopping $1.5-trillion over 10 years!

Figure it out yet? We just spent another $2-trillion on "stimulus" and he wants to projectile vomit another $2-trillion on his phony "infrastructure" plan, (which is almost literally everything except infrastructure) and then trillions more on education, child care and what-not. There's the inevitable stupid loan bailout. And we haven't even touched "Medicaid for All" yet. So his screw the rich tax plan doesn't even cover his everything-but-infrastructure plan, and even then not for a whole decade.

So who will be getting that bill if it's not "the rich" I wonder.

Unknown said...

You missed a few details...vaccines were worked on BEFORE Trump began trying to take credit. And WHO was vaccinated on his watch???
Absolutely right. Trump gave cops carte blanche support to kill, and the killing has continued to increase. The NeoNazis also like his support.
We need immigrants for the dirty work Americans won't do. Did you howl about immigrants before Trump poisoned our nation?
The "evil" rich paid 90% taxes in the 1960's -- and they somehow got richer
..and America prospered. College was free and we went to the moon.
You shouldn't whine so much when you kiss Satan's azz!

John the Econ said...

@Unknown:

Police are hired by local governments. Trump had no authority over them, nor should he or any federal politician. Not happy with the quality of policing in your community? You might consider joining your local civil service commission instead of complaining.

The left is home to fascism in America today, and historically. The only salient difference between socialism and fascism is the bookkeeping.

Conservatives don't complain about immigrants. What we complain about are unenforced borders and laws that do not apply equally to all citizens, and the notion that anyone can show up and become entitled to benefits that we deny to our own citizens.

Yes, tax rates were much higher for "the rich" back in the '60s, but absolutely nobody actually paid at that rate since practically everything was deductible from your gross income. The effective tax rate for 1%ers of that age was in the mid-40s.

College was free, if you served in the military, as it still is today.

I doubt we could go to the moon today with the caliber of students that our colleges are unleashing on the world today with meaningless degrees. They're more suited to destroying cities, like Portland or Seattle.

The irony of our age: Never before in the history of mankind has information been so easily accessible to people than it is today. And yet people have never been more lazy in being bothered to research anything before regurgitating garbage they see online as fact.

rickn8or said...

The only reason I'd even consider watching this clown show is the faint hope that Joe finally vapor-locks on live TV.

Even worse is the MSM's Gush-a-thon about how it was the best speech since Shakespeare put pen to paper, and "This is what he really said".

If he wears a mask (I wouldn't doubt he will), Conspiracy Theory Me will be the first to shout "Ringer!", especially if he appears to be coherent.

Dirty little secret is that FedGov COULD tax Bezos, Gates, et al to poverty and it still wouldn't be a drop in the bucket to the trillions Joe has already spent.

And what does FedGov do the next year? Shave the next level down.

And down.

And down until it reaches the middle class.

That's the thing about wealth; you can only steal it once.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- I haven't had time today to react to comments (it's been a weird day), but I have a question for you: we've been visited by a troll with no name, and its comments are at least marginally amusing because there's so much raw ignorance on display.

Should I leave it up for us to laugh at, or simply nuke it for the same reason one flushes the toilet upon discovering a deuce in there?

Sortahwitte said...

Torch up the B1. Nuke em' Dan'l. Then, flush twice. dc is uphill.

rickn8or said...

Oh, let the troll comment.

I do so love pointing and laughing at the mental gymnastics involved in twisting the conversation around so they can make the claim that Donald Trump is the point-source origin of all that is evil in the universe.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Memory holes are for liberals. Let the turd remain, so we can all point and laugh at the anonymous coward.

So sayeth MMM, who uses his real name for this.

JustaJeepGuy said...


Gropey Joe Biden can FOAD, Kamalatoe can FOAD, Nanski Peloski can FOAD, and "Unknown" can FOAD.

Gee M said...

Seriously we will just hear the same regurgitated TPs from Lefty lunkhead...why hear all the skewed and vicious TDS where we eat? So to speak...

I am so tired of Twitter 'cause the libbies all sound like each other in a crazed TDS kinda way. Do we really need such silly BS? This is not the place for a Twitter ambiance...just sayin'!

John the Econ said...

Decades ago when the Internet for civilians was shiny and new, I was an online moderator for a major national newspaper that had just dipped its toes into the medium. It was my job to start and moderate discussions related to the major news stories of the day, and then make sure that those discussions remained civil.

Of course, that involved occasionally removing messages that possessed a tone that were considered inappropriate. Since moderating forums that were open to the general public was all new at the time, we didn't have any formal guidelines beyond a mandate to delete any obvious obscenity. But the goal was to stimulate and engage with readers and we generally didn't censor opinions unless the tone in which they were expressed crossed a line that we as individual moderators were left to define. Naturally, that line could be seen as being a bit fuzzy.

I generally allowed people to say whatever they wanted as long as it was polite and respectful. Anything I found unnecessarily nasty or irrelevant to the topic at hand I'd purge. I have no doubt I pissed off a lot of people.

I believe that I was generally fair. But I have to admit that my biases did affect how I moderated. As a conservative in a sea of majority leftists in what was ostensibly a Progressive newspaper, it might have been assumed that when the line was fuzzy that I would be more likely to censor the comments made by Progressives than by conservatives. But that was not the case. Over time, I found myself more likely to censor conservatives than liberals. If a Progressive said something truly insane, I was more likely to let that stand than if a conservative said something equally stupid. I was more than happy to allow Progressives to spew Progressive stupidity. I have no doubt that my subconscious bias like the notion that perhaps if other Progressives on the form saw how dumb the basis of their narratives were, they might reconsider them.

DavidD said...

Ya know, Stilt, you coulda widened that middle frame just a scoche. Just sayin’.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@John:

perhaps if other Progressives on the form saw how dumb the basis of their narratives were, they might reconsider them.

This requires the retraction of their crania from their lower digestive tract, which, as we have seen over the years, is a well-nigh impossible task.

At this point, the only way to get their attention is via that well-worn phrase which concludes with, "...their hearts and minds will follow."

Rod said...

Ineffective dumb-shit for ~40 years in government. More recently a corrupt & groping dumb-shit in Government. And now: Demented & Puppet Head Dumb-Shit in Government. I'd like to know who all WROTE the speech; he could not have remembered all that stuff he was bragging about. He practiced, read every word, & still flubbed it up several times. What a silly thing to watch and so I only lasted about 8 minutes. And just that was very offensive to me in it's delivery.

rickn8or said...

Rod, what does "Nobody should have to choose between a job and a paycheck" even MEAN?

Rod said...

@rickn8or: I didn't hear that but it probably means he wandered off the script for a moment until someone in his ear got him back on track. It's sad as well as dangerous.

Rod said...

@All: Curious, I looked into that quote. In full context it's an edited & incomplete bite intended to mean keeping a job & income while taking care of family. A situation as old & common as raising a family while working. A real nice-sounding nothing to say which he's very good at. But meaningless without the details; & we can bet Demos will get that wrong.

Michael Riles said...

The difference between JUSTICE and PAYBACK
Justice: prosecuting the person(s) that actually did the unlawful deed.
Payback: Finding a 5 year old kid the same color/gender as the individual evil doers of the past and blaming him or her.
Lot's of PAYBACK going on with the WOKEs.