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Friday, September 21, 2018

Just Slay No

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, busty ross, kavanaugh, a modest proposal, supreme court

Leave it to our intrepid correspondent Busty Ross to bring a fresh new perspective to the otherwise stultifying Kavanaugh lynching...er, we mean proceedings. Ms Ross is, of course, not a woman to be trifled with, and we pity the fool who would underestimate her ability to convincingly make the case that "no means no."

Mind you, we're not actually recommending that every incidence of an unwanted sexual advance end with a man being dumped into a shallow grave - though we do think it's a great idea for women to know the basics (or more) of self-defense. Failing all else, ladies, just remember that a knee to the nuts is a highly compelling argument.

But rather than violence, we want to speak about the unfortunate effects of holding in a horrible secret for 30 years. This does nothing good for either the psyche of the victim, nor the accuracy of memories related to the actual event. We certainly acknowledge that coming clean at the time of an assault may create shame and embarrassment for the victim; in the case currently under review, the alleged victim said she couldn't tell anyone (least of all her parents) because she had knowingly put herself in harm's way by attending an unchaperoned "party" with older boys and alcohol.

But now, with the passage of so much time, it's simply impossible to know what really happened at that party so long ago and how much the victim's memories have metastasized or been rewritten.

And yet, the Left demands that justice must be done to avenge the complainant's honor, whether it was actually besmirched or not.

Which brings us to A Modest Proposal: the Left wants Kavanaugh punished despite the lack of evidence, the impossibility of investigation, and the expiration - by decades - of any relevant statute of limitations. We therefore suggest that he be sentenced to perform community service to pay back his debt to society in general and women in particular.

Specifically, we think he should be sentenced to lifetime community service...just as quickly as he can be sworn in for his well-deserved seat on the Supreme Court.

BONUS: BROKEBACK MUPPETS

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, sesame street, bert, ernie, gay

Our "Tempest in a Teapot" Award for the week goes to the minor media brouhaha surrounding an announcement by a former Sesame Street writer that puppet buddies Bert and Ernie were actually gay lovers - at least in the writer's mind (which is never a healthy place to be - trust us on this one).

Sesame Street quickly denied the allegation, making the not inconsequential point that the characters are puppets and not sexualized in any way. The whole subject is, like the bulge in Caitlyn Jenner's knickers, a moot point.

Truthfully, we think the LGBT community should be relieved to hear this. After all, do they really want gay couples to be represented as poorly dressed, constantly bickering, hopelessly dimwitted doofuses who exhibit really bad impulse control along and obsessive fascination in the ABCs, primary colors, and squeaky bath toys? We think not.

Rather, Sesame Street says that the real dynamic between Bert and Ernie is to show us that very different types of people can still be very good friends. And gay or straight, that's a great lesson for all of us.


51 comments:

james daily said...

This whole shebang is a travesty of justice. She didn't remember squat until this event was pulled from her subconscious, doesn't know when it took place, is not sure of the participants, at least getting one witness wrong and of course not a clue as to what year this event took place.
With my way of thinking, what this freak is telling us is a psychologist's anecdotal event, not hers, since she had no idea of it having taken place for over thirty years. Good grief. The the cherry on the top is Feinstein not turning over the written letter to the committee so in the eyes of the committee this should be a non event since there is not even a written letter or email or anything else substantiating it, again anecdotal, so therefore it doesn't exist. Much less the rumor that she wrote an identical letter about Judge Gorsuch and we can probably guess where that letter is residing. Not even a retarded HS student would use this in a theme paper, much less an educated person using it to derail a SC nominee.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Personally, I'm a tad concerned about Bert's pigeon fetish. But that may just be me.

She’s A Beauty said...

"The whole subject is, like the bulge in Caitlyn Jenner's knickers, a moot point."

Pretty sure that would have been more effective as "The whole subject is, like
the bulge in Michelle Obama's knickers, a moot point."

I'm GUESSING Bruce had the good sense and the decency to have his trouser
trout removed...unlike Mooch.

Jason Anyone said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jason Anyone said...

This is a tough one. After all, it happened a little over 12 years ago. And even though there's a police report, and allegedly a video, what do you expect them to do? Of course they need to protect the party. He's a Democrat. Oh wait, that's Keith Ellison, the DNC Deputy Chair who was way older than 17, twelve years ago, when the alleged incident took place.

And Democrats, well out in front of the "Make sure women are heard from" have given him a really good leaving alone. And the outcry from the voters as well, could definitely be heard. They handed him the Primary win for MN's Attorney General race. Where would this country be without Democrats dedication to the principle of "Justice is blind." In order to makes sure we know all the things they want to make sure we nasty conservatives don't do to Dr. Ford, apparently they're demonstrating on Ellison's ex.

https://thehill.com/homenews/senate/407195-ellison-accuser-dems-smeared-threatened-isolated-me

Although, credit where credit is due, I will say one Democrat went above and beyond. Vietnam War hero, Major General Richard Blumenthal came right out and said, "Kavanaugh's nomination should be withdrawn, because "he's raised serious doubts about his credibility."

And he says this shit, all the time, with a completely straight face. Where's HIS freakin' Oscar/Golden Globe/Woody (Oops. That's Family Guy."?

BlumEnthralled - https://youtu.be/5W9qvYju5fk

On a brighter note, "Happy Friday, everybody!"

Geoff King said...

This whole Kavanaugh/Ford thing has forced me to relive a repressed memory of physical abuse in my own youth. I was assaulted by a female authority figure and even now can barely bring myself to talk about it.

She was my kindergarten teacher some 57 years ago and she actually spanked me for refusing to lie down at nap time.

There...now it's out in the open and perhaps, with some closure, I can carry on with my life.

Dan said...

And the Republicans ("They Thirst for Death(TM)") keep letting them Lucy the football and move the goal posts.

Geoff King said...

P.S. now that I have shared my story of abuse survival, if there is a lawyer among you I may be open to the idea of starting a lawsuit against the Royal Oak, Michigan School District for their allowing of this obvious flagrant violation of teacher - student corporal punishment guidelines.
I feel something in the neighborhood of $1 million ought to help me move on from that traumatic event.

james daily said...

Sorry, this was posted online after my first post:
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2018/09/former-scalia-law-clerk-drops-pictures-and-evidence-that-blows-christine-fords-case-wide-open/

Laura D said...

Personally, I think Ford's a liar-liar-pants-on-fire. The Gateway Pundit article is interesting, and brings up another possibility: that Ford had been to Garrett's house at least once, and used that as a convenient location for the "attack."

Fred Ciampi said...

Well, the judge's accuser is fugly. Who would want a piece of her?!?!?!?!?! (Miss Piggy is better looking). Second, she can't remember the year but she can remember that she was 15 when it allegedly happened. And she'd a college professor? Leeme see ... 15 take away 40 sumpitn' equals ... um ... carry the nine .......

And like Goeff, I was badly beaten 70 years ago in a Catholic school by Attila the Nun with a ruler across the knuckles.......

Don't forget to wear red today, Friday. Remember Everyone Deployed. OohRah& Semper Fi.

Elbarto said...

Just when you think Democrats can't stoop any lower, they go and prove you wrong.

Dr. Roger Harris said...

Lest we forget, 36 years ago a teenager with raging hormones copping a feel of another teenager was never a crime. This is just PATHETIC POSTURING by Chuckyou Schumer and his TDS Toadies.

"Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." Wm Shakespeare

AmyH said...

And those running in the Primary in '16 wonder why they were beaten by Trump? He doesnt cave to the demorats.

Anonymous said...

Re The Jenners. Caitlyn is complaining that Bruce groped her most of their life together.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@James Daily- As the Wall Street Journal (and surely others) has pointed out, this is a story that can never be proved true or false - which is exactly what the Dems want. They permanently stain a good man's reputation even if they can't prevent him getting his seat on the court. And at this point, it's frighteningly possible that they MAY keep him off the court. Personally, I'm skeptical about the existence of a Gorsuch letter - I'm seeing a lot of anti-Ford smears online that are just too convenient to be true.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Hey, feather boas don't grow themselves.

@Section147- Last I heard, Bruce's unit is not yet stored in a pole vault (see what I did there?). Then again, it's not a story I follow closely. And I sort of hated to make him/her the butt of that joke since she's a Republican, but we can only work with the materials we have at hand. So to speak.

@Jason Anyone- Fine points, all. There is no anti-woman action which the Dems aren't willing to forgive and forget when it's among their own ranks. Ted Kennedy may have killed Mary Jo Kopechne, but it was the Dems who buried her.

@Geoff King- Please, please tell me that your kindergarten teacher was Ruth Bader Ginsburg...

@Dan- The degree to which the Republicans are bending over backward on this is appalling. I'm already having nightmares about what the Dems will be asking Kavanaugh in a new hearing: "Do you drink? Have you ever had more to drink that you should? When did you lose your virginity? How and to whom? Have you ever made a woman uncomfortable sexually?" It will be a nightmare - not in the least because anything the Dems get away with this time will become the new standard for blocking nominations.

@Geoff King- My heart goes out to you...I can't imagine the years of suffering you're endured. Let alone the problems that accompany a spanking fetish that you never sought out or wanted.

@James Daily- The "other guy" scenario is interesting, but I can see this actually hurting Kavanaugh's case if not handled right. The "victim" has already said she would never mistake this new guy for Kavanaugh, and we've already seen what the Left and media (but I repeat myself) do when anyone dares challenge such pronouncements.

@Laura D- I'm still curious about this particular detail: she says that while trapped in the upstairs bedroom, Mark Judge turned up the music so no one could hear her screams. So does this mean that the music for this party had been coming from an upstairs bedroom all along? That seems weird, as you'd think any family room would have had a way to play music where people actually were. So if there WAS a music source in that bedroom, it seems likely make this the bedroom of the teen host of the party. Yet still Ford can't remember where this took place? Is it reasonable to believe that she would have forgotten who had invited her to that ill-fated party? It just doesn't add up - though I still think that something happened to her once, somewhere, at some time, which hasn't aged well in the cuisinart of her mind.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Fred Ciampi- Now, now, let's don't attack Ford's looks. Not to be coarse, but in the full flower of youth, in a bathing suit, after a couple of drinks, she would likely look "do-able" if not better. I think we need to find another line of attack which is a little less brutal (grin).

And my heartfelt sympathy for the attack you suffered. I wish I had the words to comfort you, but I have nun.

And yes, folks, wear RED today!

@jpb252- Sadly, there is no bottom to this pit.

@Dr. Roger Harris- Where does the line get crossed from drunken fumbling to attempted rape? It's a serious question and, raging hormones or not, it is always the guy's responsibility to keep his little soldier from getting into trouble. But those same raging hormones combined with alcohol have shaped how Ford interpreted whatever happened that night. And is it just possible that a teen girl might add a lot of angst and drama to events without even being aware of her inner distortions?

And bonus points for the Shakespeare quote. What a classy joint this is!

@AmyH- Excellent point. The Dems have shown over and over again that if you "give them an inch," they'll find a way to make a noose out of it. While it's not subtle, Trump's "sit down, shut up, f*ck off" attitude is the right way to deal with Dems these days, because they've left no other options.

@Anonymous- I think he/she should seek couples therapy.

Rod said...

@ Geoff King: I'm sorry about your trauma. I too was picked on and confused by my second grade teacher but not like that. She said I was holding my pencil; YES, you guys.. it really was my big fat PENCIL, like you're supposed to write in your Big Chief tablet with using little short fingers. (Which also made no sense).

She said I was holding it too tight, so she kept sneaking up behind me and trying to grab it away while I was writing. What the Hell did she expect me to do except hold it tighter?

I haven't put that out of my mind yet.

Gumby-damn-it! said...

...like 57 years ago and ONLY a spanking??? The "coming out" revelation of you suppressed (as opposed to repressed) memory makes me concerned about YOUR intentions. DO you have some interest in changing YOUR party affiliation and running for public office...?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

The comparison to the handling of the Ellison issue is fundamentally flawed. OF COURSE Ellison is not guilty! HE'S A MUSLIM! Women are chattel! If you're a muslim, you can no more abuse a woman as you could a goat - Er, um - wait a minute, no. Not a goat. - a piece of furniture!

Anyway, I, too, was abused in grade school - not too far from where Geoff had HIS abuse. And in TWO DIFFERENT SCHOOLS! I think an investigation is in order into Michigan's educational system. Indeed! And the abuse I suffered was between 1967 and 1970. I was made to SIT IN THE CIRCLE in kindergarten by Mr. Wagner for talking! Oh, the scars! (My 1st grade teacher - Mrs. Hershey - was literally a psychopath, so let's not talk about that one) Sister Mary Margaret and her ruler! Sister Tarsisius and her POINTER OF (painful) SHAME! Fr. Furlong and the Paddle of DOOOOOOOOOOOM!

OH! THE HORROR!

If it wasn't for all of that "abuse" suffered at their hands, I would be JUST LIKE ONE OF THESE MILLENIALS!!! Just look what they've done to me!

:)

The Opposition to Freedom party has already set many precedents with this ploy. The only instance that comes to mind where it failed was with Clarence Thomas. Hopefully THAT set a precedent for SCJ nominees, and Kavanaugh makes it through.

Gumby-damn-it! said...

@Stilton, @James Daily- "...They permanently stain a good man's reputation even if they can't prevent him getting his seat on the court". Well, what about the "stains" on Bill Clinton's chair? I'll bet you won't find it on any inventory listing it as available to be used by ANY future presidents. Probably being by some computer tech monitoring one of Hillary's computer server farms.

Gumby-damn-it! said...

@Stilton, @Geoff King- "Please, please tell me that your kindergarten teacher was Ruth Bader Ginsburg...". I'm sure she would've been forced into mandatory retirement lonnnnggg before that.

Gumby-damn-it! said...

@Stilton, @Dan- "The degree to which the Republicans are bending over backward on this is appalling". It's indicative of there being far more "left-leaning" yoga instructors in D.C. than previously thought possible.

Gumby-damn-it! said...

And, yes Stilton I'm having one of my better days.

Gumby-damn-it! said...

...all of which I attribute to fairly clean living, plenty of abuse at home and school, a long career in the U.S. Air Farse, and an extraordinary woman by my side.

Gumby-damn-it! said...

...one that is NOT my ex. Sorry, Hun. No inadvertent comparisons being made here.

Bruce Bleu said...

If they want to "find the body", a multitude of women could just go to the grave of Turd Kennedy and there he is!

NVRick said...

Shame on all of you!
Reading your accounts of abuse have caused me to re-live the horrors of my youth. Sister Theodorette once broke her pointer over my head for some grade school indiscretion. When all the kids and I started laughing, she grabbed me by my left ear (see how specific?) and dragged me out into the hall where I remained for the rest of the day.
In high school, Fr. Boyle, Vice Principal and Disciplinarian, (a fine Jesuit title) found that I had an unauthorized lock on my locker. He met me in the locker room, told me to bend and grab my knees, and gave me three swats to the ass with his very narrow cane. I can still hear the sound as it whistled through the air.
All that these abuses did was instill a sense of responsibility and that bad actions can have unpleasant consequences.

Judi King said...

Let's just say....if it weren't for statute of limitations I'd be a wealthy woman today.
What nonsense!!!!!!!

John the Econ said...

"Specifically, we think he should be sentenced to lifetime community service...just as quickly as he can be sworn in for his well-deserved seat on the Supreme Court."

Agreed!

@James Daily said "This whole shebang is a travesty of justice. She didn't remember squat until this event was pulled from her subconscious..."

Which is why they need more time now, so that all of her friends and associates can go into therapy and have the corroborating details pulled from their subconscious.

Bert & Ernie: Ever since the first communist revolution, it's been part of the standard Progressive kit to politicize everything. As so it must be with Bert & Ernie.

All I am curious about now is which Sesame Street character is going to transition.

Fortescue J. Giraffe said...

@john the Econ:

All I am curious about now is which Sesame Street character is going to transition.

Snuffleupagus. But nobody will notice. ;D

Geoff King said...

Let's not forget Elmo. That masochist even had the Tickle Me doll. I always expected a follow up version called "Whip Me, Beat Me Elmo".

Speaking of perverting The Muppets, I'll just leave this here:

https://youtu.be/9DTZoyFHIcQ

Rod said...

@ Colby: Nope; different teacher, and yours is the first collaboration I've had. These means there were at least two of "them". Thanks for coming out. [Grin] This group is fun.

Edam Wensleydale said...

@Geoff: If you REALLY want perverted Muppets, Peter Jackson was being evil decades before "The Lord Of The Rings":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FON5KnEKReA

And the Devil went to more places than Jamaica:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yzsa2lEY0yQ

;-)

Valvenator said...

Let's not forget this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MO6ZOXSbsu8

Boligat said...

Have the vote. If he gets on the court. Fine. BUT first we have an agreement. After the vote let law enforcement do whatever investigating is needed. Then, if the allegations are shown to be true, then Kavanaugh resigns. But, if the allegations are either not corroborated or shown to be false, then Feinstein and Schumer have to resign.

MrBeatrixKiddo said...

what actually happened at that 'party'??
what happened was a package oscar meyers and a bottle of vodka!

Valvenator said...

Boligat,
"Then, if the allegations are shown to be true, and CRIMINAL then Kavanaugh resigns"
otherwise they could say someone picked their nose in public and keep them off the bench.
" if the allegations are either not corroborated or shown to be false, then Feinstein and Schumer have to resign"
That part I really like!

REM1875 said...

" I demand he be declared guilty and and his nomination be removed before I testify to stuff I don't remember ??? "

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Feinstein and Schumer resign? That should only be the start of it. They should also be held in contempt of Congress, and punished to the full extent of the law. Though shalt not lie to Congress. It is illegal. Even if you're a democrat...

Do I expect to see any of the political class ever held to account for any of their crimes against the constitution and the people of the USA? Not in my lifetime. Likely not in that of my children, or their children.

We've been slowly suckered over decades of manipulation to wwhere they can pretty much thumb their noses at us and do as they wish without repercussion - unless they're not democrats; or they are a "sacrificial democrat", set up in the hopes that their moral signalling will work to ensnare their political adversaries.

American Cowboy said...

I came in for breakfast this morning and checked the latest soap opera and found this bit of tripe:

Grassley gave Ford's attorneys until 2:30 p.m. EST to negotiate the terms of her testimony to the committee next week...earlier Grassley...had granted an [previous] extension to Ford after a 10 p.m. (0200 GMT Saturday) deadline had passed.

"Judge Kavanaugh I just granted another extension to Dr. Ford to decide if she wants to proceed (with) the statement she made last week to testify to the Senate," Grassley wrote on Twitter. "She should decide so we can move on. I want to hear her. I hope you understand. It’s not my normal approach to be indecisive."

So, grASSley grants not just one, but TWO extensions, is going to let the lying pawn set her own terms for any false testimony, and claims he is not NORMALLY indecisive?

I certainly hope Iwegains remember this and vote accordingly next election for grASSley's seat! No one needs an INDECISIVE member of congress to represent them!

Why does the left engage in this kind of despicable behavior? Because they KNOW they can and the republicans will cave. every. time.

This country is doomed!

Bruce Bleu said...

Colby Meunster,
I used to work with a guy who's previous job was working backstage for Jim Henson. He said ALL the puppeteers were homosexual... ALL of them. Under the "set" was a homo-love fest. Just listen to Big Bird's voice and you can get an idea of the pervasive "lightness" in everyone's shoes.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Rod- A Freudian analyst would agree that there could be many negative (and highly personal) repercussions from this attack.

@Gumby-damn-it!- There is much stinking going on.

@Emmentaler Limburger- The evidence (remember when that was a factor?) certainly suggests Ellison is guilty as hell. And one way or another, weren't ALL of abused in school - by teachers or classmates? I was genuinely assaulted by a male gym teacher (and his squad of goons!) and left bloodied. Sadly, I will never be able to thwart that asshole's attempt to seek high office because he's currently 6 feet under. I do, however, genuinely plan to piss on his grave in a certain cemetery in Indianapolis.

@Gumby-damn-it!- You make a good point; Bill Clinton's stains are the type that fluoresce under black light.

@Colby Muenster- Not only did Bill have his way with Monica, but then he was involved with sliming her reputation and calling her a stalker afterwards. And the Dems didn't blink an eye (and still don't).

Regarding the Bert and Ernie thing, it's simply stupid...although not so stupid that it isn't believable. Sadly, the Left wants to sexualize everything, including simple friendships. As far as what you teach your granddaughter, that's your business - but in honesty I have to say (and not for the first time) that I do think it's okay to be gay. I do not, however, think it's okay to be promiscuous or sexually abusive, whether gay or straight. Nor am I keen on marches in which mostly nude people flaunt only a degraded version of the physical side of interpersonal relationships. Assuming that's what they're trying to do by wearing dildo vests or prancing around with a horsetail butt plug inserted.

@Gee M- Repressed memories are shaky ground, indeed. Do ANY of us have memories of things exactly the way they happened rather than having them distorted by time?

@NVRick- It sounds like the Vatican is writing some pretty big checks these days. You might consider sending them a claim.

@Judi King- Sorry you had to endure the wrong guys getting grabby. And that you didn't have a feminist lawyer on speed dial.

@John the Econ- My vote is for Big Bird to be going through transition. And for him to sigh enviously every time he hears a reference to chicken breasts.

@Fortescue J. Giraffe- After which the character will be known as ScuffleUpHerDress.

@Geoff King- And we all recall that, before leaving the factory, that doll was given two test tickles.

@Rod- And who knew there were so many young troublemakers here?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Edam Wensleydale- Peter Jackson's early work is in hilarious bad taste. In fact, one of his movies is "Bad Taste" and I highly recommend it!

@Valvenator- I hadn't seen "Tickle Me Emo" before. Funny!

@Boligat- That sounds entirely too logical to actually happen.

@MrBeatrixKiddo- I'm not trying to "blame the victim" (if such she was), but she knew she was putting herself into harm's way and violating her parents' instructions and trust.

@Valvenator- Even better!

@REM1875- It's page one of "The Art of the Smear."

@Emmentaler Limburger- I have a deep longing to see a lot of public officials disgraced and marched to the hoosegow. I don't ever expect to see it, but then again I never expected to be using the phrase "President Trump."

@American Cowboy- I agree that all of these delays don't show sensitivity - they show weakness. And the Dems love to attack weakness.

@Bruce Bleu- Interesting, if still hearsay. From my own personal experience, I'll say there does seem to be an abundance of gay folks in the entertainment industry.

Gee M said...

https://reason.com/blog/2018/09/12/oregon-innocence-project-dog-lucy


Another repressed memory case found...well...let's face it, to be complte bullsh*t.
The minor female claimed abuse from 6 years old to early teens, with forced watching of porn and and the usual threats...too bad the dog turned up alive.

Judi King said...

Perhaps the so called silent majority (IE the right) should no longer remain silent instead of silently taking all this phony abuse from the left.

American Cowboy said...

@Judi King - yes...Yes...YES! I have always been what some call abrasive in my opinions. I tried to curb that trait, now I am going to let it go unbridled and let leftist know exactly what my opinion is of them and their idiot ideas.

Judi King said...

@ Am. Cowboy: Great! SILENT NO MORE!

Anonymous said...

Interesting that Ford wants to "testify" after Kavanaugh. In what normal proceeding does the "defendant" speak first?

Gumby-damn-it! said...

A bit of a late posting, but relevant. Since the 4th and last of Christine Ford's "witnesses" to the party where Justice Kavenaugh is alleged to have gotten a bit "touchy-feely "have now reversed their positions on who was at the party (including themselves), does this mean that the witnesses have now repressed their own memories? Perhaps they're just not "taking advantage" of the right counsellors. Something smells here just a little bit, and I don't mean 30+ year old stale beer. Definitely not single malt either.

Gee M said...

Every Woman Has The Right To Be Believed...

Unless you're Raped by Bill Clinton,
Beaten by Keith Ellison,
Groped by Cory Booker or
KILLED by Ted Kennedy.