Monday, September 24, 2018
Driven a Fraud Lately?
No matter what your politics, you have to salute the strength and courage of a woman who, despite the formidable forces against her and the risk to her reputation, agrees to give testimony to the Senate Judiciary Committee reviewing the wildly contentious Kavanaugh matter.
Of course, we're not referring to Christine Blasey Ford, whom we sympathetically believe to have significant psychological issues which are being cruelly exploited by the Left. Rather, we're talking about Dr. Ford's lifetime friend, Leland Ingham Keyser, who was recently named as a witness present at the infamous party at which an attack may or may not have occurred.
In written testimony which carries a criminal penalty if not true, Ms. Keyser said she "does not know Mr. Kavanaugh and has no recollection of ever being at a party or gathering where he was present, with or without Dr. Ford."
It's worth noting that, besides being Dr. Ford's friend, Ms. Keyser is a longtime Democrat who presumably would be happy to torpedo Kavanaugh if it could be done without committing perjury. Although it's certainly possible that she's simply an honorable person who puts doing the right thing above politics. In either event, we predict she's going to need to find a whole new circle of friends soon - and probably hire security to ensure her personal safety.
This makes a total of four "witnesses" named by Dr. Ford, all of whom say the incident never happened.
In legal terms, we believe this entire matter has more than met the definition of farce majeure and needs to be wrapped up as soon as possible, with justice for Judge Kavanaugh and an extended and hopefully beneficial stay at Happy Acres for his accuser.
BREAKING: UPCHUCK UPDATE
No doubt because Christine Blasey Ford's story has fallen apart, a NEW "victim" of Kavanaugh has suddenly come forth with recovered memories which even she admits are pretty hazy based on being blind drunk at the time of the alleged incident.
According to reports, Deborah Ramirez (a Democrat- surprise!) wasn't sure who waggled a weenie in her direction at a party in a Yale dorm room 35 years ago when she was incoherent, but after consulting with a lawyer for a week, she's miraculously "remembered" that it was 18-year-old Long Dong Kavanaugh.
This time, the "victim" says there was a roomful of witnesses. The problem? They all say that it never happened. So we're going to go out on a limb here and say that, while we think Dr. Ford likely has mental problems, Ramirez sounds like an opportunistic liar.
Enough. The vote on Kavanaugh should take place today, he should be sworn in by week's end, and afterwards no one nominated for any position by a Democrat should be approved for anything ever again.
This whole thing has gone way beyond the pail. And no, we didn't spell "pale" wrong - we meant that the perfidy of the Leftists makes us puke so violently that it doesn't all hit the bucket.
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM