Since the news already makes us feel like we're living in The Twilight Zone, we're turning over today's commentary to The Mystic Seer, who made a notable appearance on Rod Serling's show in which the demonic machine predicted (or perhaps caused) future events in return for a penny - dispensing small cards with the often cryptic answers to increasingly disturbing yes-or-no questions.
That's credibility enough for us! So after getting change for a bright, shiny dime, here are the ten questions we asked The Mystic Seer...
Q: Is Biden's 32 point lead over Bernie Sanders accurate?
Mystic Seer: I fail to give a damn, but thanks for the penny.
Q: Does Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez really not know what a garbage disposal is?
Mystic Seer: The answer is unclear. Try telling her it's a fingernail clipper.
Q: Mayor Pete Buttigieg says America was never great. Is he right?
Mystic Seer: One sees little with his head up his ass. Or anyone else's.
Q: 57% of Democrats believe Trump is guilty of treason. Can their minds be changed?
Mystic Seer: You can't change what doesn't exist.
Q: Is Iran behind the recent rocket attacks on Israel?
Mystic Seer: Was a giant pallet of cash and free rein on nuclear weapons' development bad U.S. policy?
Q: Will we ever hear from Stormy Daniels again?
Mystic Seer: Perhaps in a dark alley.
Q: What will be the prison nickname for James Comey?
Mystic Seer: That's not a yes-or-no question, but his nickname will rhyme with "Gummi."
Q: If you know all the answers, could you beat James Holzhauer on "Jeopardy?"
Mystic Seer: Yes, like a red-headed stepchild.
Q: Will Donald Trump ever be successfully impeached?
Mystic Seer: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! No.
Q: Have you seen "Avengers: Endgame" yet?
Mystic Seer: I again fail to give a damn, but thanks for your last penny.
And as always, the Mystic Seer was right! Also, in case it wasn't already screamingly obvious, there was nothing in the news we wanted to talk about today but we just can't stand presenting you with a blank page and a shrug of the shoulders. So feel free to jumpstart some scintillating conversation in the comments. Favorite Twilight Zone episodes, anyone...?
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| This one still scares the living crap out of us. Really. |
63 comments:
Fresh souls in the cornfield!
Anthony put them there.
And it's good. It's real good!
"You be DEAD!"
-Barnes and Barnes, "Cemetery Girls"
For bonus points, what's the connection between Art Barnes and Anthony?
Agnes Moorehead battling tiny aliens in a flying saucer.
Speaking of AOC and her ignorance of garbage disposals - I sent this out earlier to friends in an email message on the subject where I also linked to a news article about it.
I guess they don't have garbage disposals in Brooklyn, or maybe they just throw their moldy food scraps out the window for the homeless people and dogs to pick over on the streets below.
If she wanted to know what a garbage disposal was, all she had to do was to call into the "Mr. Obvious" radio show with Bob and Tom. Apparently, she's not the first person who didn't know what one of these newfangled contraptions was.
"ARAWRRAWRRAWRRAWR." I think it must be a racoon.
VERY funny 4 min clip:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=SNYJcOTOcLU
@ Mike aka Proof - 2x..........
Mystic Seer was rescued from a short, disastrous gig in front of the mobile wedding chapel, motorcycle repair and B-B-Q in Los Wages Nev. Glad to hear he was repaired and put back to work in a safer site and capacity.
While we are missing some classic comedy from the AOC/Biden act, I have a feeling they will have fresh new material anytime they speak. With 21 clowns in the circus (as of this moment)
it a sure thing we won't possibly be able to catch it all......
So enjoy your break Doc. It's a sure bet that comedy gold will not be in short supply till after the election.
Stilt: I have been thinking about Herbert Philbrick this week. Most will not remember who he was as it was before their time. (I liked the radio program best). Anyways, that Twightlight Zone episode was scary. If I had a dime, I would ask The Mystic Seer if there were any adults in the democrat party.
"To Serve Man" is my favorite Twilight Zone episode.
But on to something more plausible, when the democrat party reach critical mass (26 or 27 candidates) will it implode?
The monster on the wing of a plane tearing up the engine - James Kirk's training for Star Trek. Adrenaline rush, even today. To serve man was right up there, too. Also, when the boy and girl tire of their parents fighting and dive down in their magic pool only to discover a wondrous land with a nice old aunty and other neglected kids.
Aunty Tea was the kind old lady in my last mention.
I think that was Comey's nickname when he was an undergrad at W&M.
What's really scary is uninformed/challenged Dembots prefer Biden by 36%!! Biden thinks he talked to Margaret Thatcher about Trump, she died in 2013.
The only thing scarier would be a Biden/Hildebeast ticket.
There was an old movie starring Karen Black named TRILOGY OF TERROR. Three story lines, but the last one was freaky - about an African doll that came to life if its necklace was removed. It attacked its owner - Holy Moly that freaked me out as a teenager. Its probably laugh out loud funny now though.
Just wanted to take this opportunity to tell you I really enjoy Stilton's Place and to thank you...
@M. Mitchell Marmel- I know the connection, but won't spoil it for others yet.
@Mike aka Proof- That WAS a good one! And Agnes Moorehead was a fabulous actress - I listen to a lot of Old Time Radio, and she was one of the best in the biz.
@GregB- I'd never heard the "Mr. Obvious" clip and I loved it! I don't know if AOC is really that dumb or if she's just trolling us. Although I suspect she's really that dumb.
@Regnad Kcin- I find your comment cryptic. Then again, I'm currently on my first cup of coffee.
@REM1875- Oh, there was no lack of stupid stuff to write about. Just nothing very definitive that really engaged me. Had it broken earlier in the day, I might have run with the story of the NYT getting 10 years of Trump's tax returns. Although while interesting, it's totally unimportant.
@james daily- I had to Google Mr. Philbrick myself, and was reminded that he was the subject of the radio series "I Led Three Lives" based on his experience infiltrating the communists in the USA.
@L.C.Clower- "To Serve Man" has one of the most hilarious punchlines ever. The episode should also be required viewing for all the morons who are now saying that socialism sounds good to them.
@Sandy- Ooh, "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" was indeed a classic. And I remember that episode about the boy and girl and Aunty Tea. And how about "Little Girl Lost," in which a little girl accidentally tumbled through a hole between dimensions (in the wall of her bedroom) and the family had to fight to get her back. Inspiration for the movie "Poltergeist?"
@Wahoo- Or when he was an undergrad at BDSM.
@Roger Myers- If Biden/Hillary will in 2020, Joe won't even make it through the swearing in before he has an "accident."
@Anonymous- I remember that! The little African doll was actually funny as heck, but it was a MEAN little bastard. Good jump scares!
@Kerry Soileau- Thanks for the kind words! Nothing like an "attaboy" to perk me up in the morning!
My favorite was "Incident at Owl Creek Bridge". It was based on an Ambrose Bierce short story by the same name.
PS: Having to check "I am not a robot" is racist against robots :-)
Burgess Meridith in "Time Enough at Last". The one where he is a bookworm, becomes the only survivor of nuclear war, is elated because he can now read all he wants, and then his glasses shatter.
1963 Twilight Zone: A kind of watch
Or any Alfred Hitchcock story. The detective says "I'll bet the murder weapon is right under our noses".
Totally funny post.
Happy Birthday, Geoff!
Night Gallery was also a good one. I remember the one where there is a picture of a cemetery on the wall going up the stairway in someone's house. But, each time the owner looks at it, the picture changes. It looks like the grave is being further disturbed in each pic until the last one where the grave is empty and he has a knock on the front door. Talk about shittin' kittins!
Excellent piece today-thanks!
Great post today Stilton! Geoff, you beat me to it. The Burgess Meredith episode was one of the best. There was also a very creepy Night Gallery in which a rich, blind Manhattan woman paid a bum for his eyes. When the bandages were pulled off, during the night, the great blackout of 1965 deprived her of her ill-begotten vision. I think the star was Joan Crawford. Still creeps me out.
@RogerMyers:
Even worse: Biden/Hillary with Pelosi still third in line.
Stilt - which episode is your photo from? I'd like to watch it - signed, a friend of Magoos...
And then there is the comic relief supplied by AOC:
https://youtu.be/wyBzU1bmiNU
AS for memorable favorites... First: I'll have to figure out if it was "The Twilight Zone" or "The Outer Limits" I think O.L. was the one that took over the TV. Rod on T.Z just had a another smoke. I sure remember the one where the crashed & stranded astronauts in deep space actually found themselves to be lost in the desert outside of Vegas. And @Geoff King: Also the bookworm librarian sole survivor of nuclear war BUT HAPPY WITH THAT until he broke his Coke-bottle glasses. That one made an impression and I think I took better care of my glasses after that. And... Oh yeah: We could see it coming, but the lady who came out of iffy last chance but SUCCESSFUL plastic facial surgery and she was horribly ugly but looked just like the others in the room. Good stuff back then.
I don't know about prison nicknames, but rumor has it that both Comey and Michael Avenotti have been nominated for "Homecoming Queen of Cellblock D". Steve Harvey will announce the winner.
Great stuff....I really liked the Episode with the camera they took a picture in the future a few minutes. Also Shatner classic with the gremlin
"Eye of the Beholder" is one of my favorite Twilight Zone episodes.
@ Fred Ciampi, I think I remember that one. Was it the one where the woman used a frozen ham or roast as the murder weapon? Great stuff.
Stilt: To me, on HP, he was a spy for the FBI in the early fifties which tells us all there is a long history of FBI spying on citizens, using citizens as spies and cutouts, and just generally doing what they want to do regardless of the laws. I am sure they used spies long before HP as JEH was not above spying on whomever he wanted including Presidents, Congressmen and Senators - and personally kept the files.
Rod Sterling was one very talented writer that died way too young.
@PaBlum- "Incident at Owl Creek Bridge" was great, and stayed true to the original short story. Years later, there were echoes of the same story in the disturbing film "Jacob's Ladder."
@Geoff King- "Time Enough at Last" is almost unbearable. I've never heard a sadder "crunch" in my life.
@WDS- Actually, it was "A Kind of Stopwatch," and it was a pip!
@Fred Ciampi- Oh yeah, I love Hitchcock! One of my favorite episodes of his TV show was "The Jar," about a rube who gains popularity and respect among his rural peers by buying a jar from a sideshow that contains an odd mishmash of creature parts. Or are they...?
@Judi King- What the...?! Hey, Happy Birthday, Geoff!
@Sandy- Yeah, that would send me to the litter box for sure.
@chefspenser- Thanks! Today is just pure foolishness on the blog, but that's actually an okay reason for chatting with friends - right?
@TrickyRicky- Night Gallery seemed hit and miss to me, though there were definitely some goodies. Interesting trivia note: the episode you mention, "Eyes" with Joan Crawford, was directed by a wet-behind-the-ears 21-year old named Steven Spielberg.
@Boligat- Okay, we're getting into serious nightmare territory here...
@YHS- The still (I'm assuming of the mean-looking kid) is from "It's a Good Life." It is honestly one of the scariest and most suspenseful half hours of television ever.
@Geoff King- Happy Birthday! And yes, AOC's battle with kitchen appliances is pretty funny.
@Rod- Yep, the astronauts in Nevada episode was a Twilight Zone. And the plastic surgery episode was another classic: the patient is revealed as the beautiful (by our standards...) Donna Douglas, who also played Elly May Clampett on the Beverly Hillbillies.
@Jason Anyone- I hope Comey wins. I'm not sure a tiara will stay on Avenatti's shaved noggin...especially when things get kinetic.
@Anonymous- I am so going to have to treat myself to a Twilight Zone marathon!
@Zsleepwalker- Great stuff, indeed!
@james daily- I have no doubt that there's been a lot of mischief going on forever. And yes, Serling died way too young. He was a great storyteller, and those stories have withstood the test of time.
Face it,we are now a third world country run by a despotic political system. And yes, that includes the Republicans who have made being in congress their life's work.
TERM LIMITS FOR ALL!
I wish it were possible to wish all the Democraps into the corn field!
I always wondered why Burgess Meredith didn't just go find an optical shop. Surely there had to be some pre-made reading glasses that would've help.
One of my TZ favorites is a Rod Serling story, "A Short Drink from a Certain Fountain," with Patrick O'Neal and Ruta Lee. A copywrite brangle kept it out of marathon re-airings for a long time, but I got to watch it again recently.
Scariest? Some have been mentioned already, but an early Outer Limits episode that had scads of alien bugs crawling over the walls of a house and terrifying the folks inside gave me nightmares — as a young adult!
There was another (TZ? OL? NG? I simply don't remember) with a lovely young woman whose fat older lover warned her that a jeweled bug he pinned to her lapel would "tell him if she was unfaithful." When she was tempted, she decided to rid herself of the device, but as soon as the pin was removed, it came to life and began climbing up toward her neck, eventually killing her in a particularly grisly way.
As for "It's a Good Life," much of its terror was muted for me by the fact that I had already read (and been scared peeless by) the Bixby story long before I saw the episode...
@M. Mitchell Marmel: Lost in space... and time, and meaning.
Zsleepwalker, yes, she used a frozen leg of lamb I believe on her husband. Then had the police over for dinner. I'm going to have to look it up. It might be on Netflix.....
Speaking of Occasional-Cortex:
The People In Venezuela Have No Guns, And So Therefore No Power
Why do terrorists do what they do? Because it works:
Sunday Mass cancelled across Sri Lanka a week after bombings
The day collusion died: https://youtu.be/Eqn3iI_h1vg
@Geoff King,
That was my favorite too, but for some reason, I thought it had Martin Balsam in it. Thanks for setting the record straight. Oh, and happy birthday!
I also recall one where all the electric appliances in a guy's house went nuts. I can still see his electric shaver coming down the stairs like a snake.
Biden/Clinton? Makes me wonder how many Dems would actually be stupid enough to pick her! I'd think being above ground and breathing air is a better choice. I'd also like to predict what the running mate might be for any of the 21 dingbats running:
1) A black person
2) A woman
3) A gay person
4) A Muslim
5) All of the above
Qualifications be damned!
@Geoff King, could you imagine AOC opposite the real William Buckley on the classic "Firing Line"?
Heck, I'd pay money to see AOC opposite Jeff Foxworthy on "Are you smarter than a 5th grader".
And I forgot to add that The Twilight Zone was one of the few TV shows in history that showed the true potential of the medium. Most of the episodes from 60 years ago now still stand up both artistically and conceptually 60 years later. It challenged the viewer instead of pacifying or insulting them. Most of the subsequent attempts to emulate it have been dismally dumbed-down. (The closest contemporary analog I've seen is Black Mirror.)
A favorite "Twilight Zone" episode was another of the several featuring Burgess Meredith, and one which has special significance today. Namely, "The Obsolete Man," with a particularly nasty character played by Fritz Weaver. It's on YouTube and will be some of the best 26 minutes of your intellectual/political thought.
I think this episode should be mandatory viewing in the schools at a certain age, and I cannot more highly recommend it to the cognoscenti who drink from this pool of reason kept full by Brother Jarlsberg.
TVAG
Don't know what happened above as half that post evaporated. Should have gone:
Speaking of Occasional-Cortex:
Twitter permanently suspends AOC parody account for being misleading
I have to side with Twitter on this one. It was impossible to tell the real AOC from the parody AOC. I wonder how Twitter knew? How do we know they kept the real one?
PMSNBC commits accidental journalism:
MSNBC: The People In Venezuela Have No Guns, And So Therefore No Power
The gun-grabbers at MSNBC unwittingly run a story illustrating a real life, happing today example of why we have a 2nd Amendment.
@Pat Cummngs: And also a beloved warrior-priest now gone beyond the galactic rim...
That episode with Billy Mumy scares you so because he played the ULTIMATE DEMOCRAT in that episode. He got what he wanted, or you got whacked.
Now that I think of it, Billy's character kind of parallels a certain two-times-failed presidential candidate we all know....
(HBD, Jeff!)
My favorite Twilight Zone episode was called "A Stop at Willoughby." I thought it was written by Jack Finney, but according to imbd Rod Serling wrote it. It involves time travel and nostalgia for the past, a theme Finney explored in Time and Again.
@Cisco Kid- That would be real good. Yep, real good!
@Dan- I always thought that too. Then again, Rod Serling was smart enough not to kill his own stories by tagging them with a line of dialogue like "Damn...now I'll have to walk home and get my spare pair of glasses."
@Pat Cummings- Oh geez, those little alien bugs in Outer Limits gave me the willies! Regarding the jeweled bug, I don't remember seeing that - so THANKS FOR THE SPOILER! (grin)
@Fred Ciampi- I think there was a Ray Bradbury story in which a woman with a missing husband kept feeding all the cops who couldn't locate his body, and it was only when a detective figured things out and threw up that a lab analysis was able to say where the body had gone...
@John the Econ- Yep. When the shit really hits the fan, it's good to have weaponry. Which is why the Left hates the 2nd Amendment so much.
@Colby Muenster- I can really identify with a horror story where someone is attacked by their electrical devices. I feel more and more like that every day.
As far as the qualifications you list for a Dem VP, it sounds like Ilhan Omar could make the cut if she just admits to being a carpet muncher (not that there's anything wrong with that).
@John the Econ- Wow, I'd love to see those AOC pairings you suggested. And yes, the Twilight Zone still stands up - which is all the more impressive because it didn't have a huge budget, and it had almost no special effects. What it did have was great scripts and solid acting, which I sorely miss.
Excellent commentary as usual! I still love the original Twilight Zone. My favorite episode is "Night of the Meek" with Art Carney as a alcoholic , department store Santa.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjWiYqcjY3iAhUSuVkKHbZaBg4QzPwBegQIARAC&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.foxnews.com%2Fpolitics%2Fdemocrat-queer-feminist-mermaid-steps-forward-to-challenge-maines-susan-collins-for-her-senate-seat-in-2020&psig=AOvVaw1T-iK1JZPttwHj3vrxW6N4&ust=1557445090084438
Mermaid in Maine should be right up you alley.
I remember both episodes. And yeah, that kid was scary.
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The first one was pre-Star Trek.
.
NSF
Attacked by our electrical devices. Hmm. Isn't that what the "Internet of Things" is for?
@M. Mitchell Marmel- I can't honestly say I "get" this reference. But then again, it's currently "Clan MacGregor" time.
@Emmentaler Limburger- Now I'm going to have nightmares of AOC creating mutant gophers and waiting for praise...
@Old Cannonballs- I don't recognize that episode from the title, but I'll make a point of tracking it down!
@Rob- Ooh, yeah - that was a good one!
@fartinkmonk- A queer feminist mermaid? Sounds fishy to me...
@Anonymous/NSF - Actually, young Billy Mumy went on to star in "Lost in Space" as the ever-in-danger Will Robinson!
@Dan- More like "The Internet of Creepy Things."
@Old Cannonballs,
Did you know Jack Finney wrote a sequel to "Time And Again"? I can't recall the name of the book right now, but it involved an attempt to save the Titanic from sinking. Spoiler alert: the ship still sank.
Also, Finney may have written yet another sequel to the sequel to "Time And Again". (I was going to abbreviate the title this time, but thought better of it.)
As for fave Twilight Zone episodes, I have too many to count.
Two favorite Twilight Zones:
The Lonely: a stranded criminal on an asteroid, who is provided a female robot by a supply ship.
The Hitchhiker: a beautiful blonde (Inger Stevens) traveling NY to LA, repeatedly sees the same hitchhiker along the road.
When I was in the Air Force in the mid-1970s at K.I. Sawyer AFB, Michigan, I heard Orson Wells read that story on radio on New Years Eve. (The original story used a male driver, not a female.) It was followed by George Washington Grover’s, Moonstreams. Perfect!
I meant Grover Washington, Jr, not George Washington Grover. Too late at night!
What thinks ye ole miserable mystic, which would be best manner to deal with that modern day Jezebel, Canker Clinton?
1] As the Brits dealt with mutinous sailors in past centuries - just hang her in a Gibbets iron cage on the docks, naked and in the weather. Remove her bones when the crows have finished their poison repast.
2] Ancient Rome would chasten their women who displayed a Jezebel attitude by stripping them naked and publicly raping them as entertainment.
There are so many varied examples from multitudes of cultures, I'm sure that several hundred pages could be written....prior to the testimonies and first hand reports.
Geoff King said...
Burgess Meridith in "Time Enough at Last".
My absolute, all-time favorite, "Twilight Zone" story of all time!
Geoff: That was my favorite also. I have been a reader since grade school and that one just gave me chills.
If asked for a "favorite" Twilight Zone episode, initially I'd struggle to pick out a single one. So many were memorable, and I would not exclude any of the ones mentioned above from such a list.
But then I thought about ones that I frequently reference as metaphors for current events or things I experience in my daily life. The one that I think I reference most is A Nice Place to Visit, where a 2-bit thug his killed by police during a during a robbery and finds himself in what he thinks is "heaven". He's escorted about by Sebastian Cabot as he indulges himself in everything he thought he wanted in life; easy money, fancy clothes, fast cars, gambling, booze, loose women, etc. But he soon tires of a life where everything is so easy and guaranteed. (Sound familiar?)
Eventually, out of boredom and desperation, he pleads to Sebastian Cabot, "If I gotta stay here another day, I'm gonna go nuts! Look, look. I don't belong in heaven - see? I wanna go to the other place." And Cabot replies, "Heaven? Whatever gave you the idea you were in Heaven? This is the other place!"
Frequently Mrs. Econ & I will find ourselves in some odd situation that everyone else thinks is awesome but for whatever reason we think is not, and one of us will say to the other "This is the other place!".
As for one that I feel is very relevant to current events: I'd nominate The Obsolete Man, again with Burgess Meredith. Here, he's a librarian who has been deemed "obsolete" by a fascist totalitarian state. Fritz Weaver is "The Chancellor" who is a bully empowered by political correctness and the mechanism of state. The highly literate Meredith fully understands the world he now lives in, and also knows he's doomed with no escape. But understanding that, he also knows how to take down the Chancellor as well, who ends up as a victim of the same state he once led in the same manner as Meredith.
As with so many Twilight Zone episodes, the themes of these two are highly relevant today; perhaps even more so than they were 50+ years ago. Today even people we legally define as "poor" live in such material affluence unprecedented in human history. And yet people of all classes find that they are are bored and miserable. We are not wired for affluence, and an easier life in and of itself doesn't make people happier.
And we're currently watching the left eat itself with "wokeness". Yesterday's woke will quickly be eaten by tomorrow's woke. I hope to never find myself in the place of Burgess's librarian. But if I do, at least I'll have the knowledge that those who would condemn me will eventually have at least a dismal fate.
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This is brilliant----period!
I just remembered my favorite Night Gallery episode: "Big Surprise". John Carradine was in it, along with some kids whom I don't remember. Suspenseful buildup and a great finish! I tried to find it on Youtube but I can't...
Adult Bill Mumy played Lennier on Babylon 5. He also reprised his role from "It's a good life" in "It's still a good life", which is available on YouTube. His adult character now has a daughter, whose newly-emerging powers surpass his own.
In addition to the Burgess Meredith episodes already mentioned, I also liked "Printer's Devil". While he is working his crooked cigar I get a hint of The Penguin.
Futurama did a good send-up of "Time enough at last", which is available on YouTube if you search for "futurama last man on earth". The Burgess Meredith character is browsing the stacks at a library, happy that there is time enough to read books forever. His glasses fall off and break, and he says "It's not fair! It's not fair!! Wait, my eyes aren't that bad. I can still read the large-print books." Then his eyes fall out, and he says "It's not fair! It's not f.. well, lucky I know how to read Braille." Then his hands fall off. He starts to scream again, and his tongue falls out, followed by his head falling off. Jump-cut to Bender, who says "Cursed by his own hubris." The YouTube clip unfortunately cuts off Bender's reaction.
There are a great many episodes of Twilight Zone and Outer Limits worth mentioning. One of my favorites of the Twilight Zone appeals to me not because of the story, but because of the actors and one particular scene. The TZ episode "Two" features Elizabeth Montgomery (Bewitched) and Charles Bronson (Mr. Majestyk). And the particular scene that has fascinated me since I saw this episode as a kid was where Charles Bronson's character pops open a can of shelf-stable, ready-to-eat chicken drumsticks and starts eating. I don't think that existed when I was a kid. Now that I'm all grown up, I should start looking around. Mmmm, Bachelor Chow...
And on a more random note, a great cartoon for today that was created in 1948 is "Make mine freedom", available on YouTube. A good anti-socialism/anti-communism cartoon with a couple of quick appearances of some rather lovely women.
Well, good night (or good morning).
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