Friday, January 31, 2020
Theoretically, today is the day the Senate will vote for or against witnesses in Donald Trump's impeachment trial and, assuming witnesses aren't allowed, a second vote is expected to acquit the President.
Afterwards, the nation will breathe a collective sigh of relief, neighbor will embrace neighbor, old animosities will be forgotten, Congress will get back to doing the work of the people, and the news media will focus solely on important, fact-based stories.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!
Seriously, we laughed harder at that than Don Lemon laughs when watching the Special Olympics. Because Trump's acquittal will mean nothing at all in the vicious and idiotic national dialogue. Not a single mind will be changed, nor will any lessons be learned. The talking heads on TV will continue to spin like Dervishes, people living in the greatest nation on Earth at one of the greatest times in history will continue to believe Apocalypse is nigh, and many of us will continue to have night terrors after dreaming of Adam Schiff's beady peepers appearing out of the dark.
Still, if President Trump is acquitted we plan to break out a bottle of bubbly with which to toast the failure of the latest, but surely not the last, coup attempt.
BONUS: A MINOR AMUSEMENT
Just for fun sometime, try entering DoucheNozzles.com in the URL section of your browser. It just might restore your faith in the Internet.
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM