Wednesday, October 4, 2017
In Praise of Lead Balloons
Granted, lead balloons aren't expected to fly...but in times like these we think they're just the thing for lowering one's self into quieter, calmer waters for a bit.
All of the news and social media nonsense surrounding the nightmare in Las Vegas has actually managed to make a horrible situation worse. Finger-pointing, conspiracy theories, and political opportunism are all running rampant as people try to find a way to "never let a serious crisis go to waste." And it sickens us.
On a more personal level, we're mourning the loss of Tom Petty - a damn good rocker about whom "workmanlike" should be considered a term of praise. He was an American original and spoke to and for the heartland. He created a lot of great music, and we're saddened that his contributions are too soon over.
We're also feeling emotionally drained today as we round the two month mark on home remodeling. Every day brings a delightful new surprise, assuming you consider an incipient gastric ulcer "delightful," with today being no exception.
We had a warm, wet rain overnight - and as a result our brand new, fiendishly expensive, double-paned glass back door fogged over from top to bottom. As none of our crappy 30-year old double-paned windows did this, we suspected that something was wrong with the door. But nooOOooo. The manufacturer told us that condensation was simply a feature of their overpriced door and didn't represent a problem.
Apparently, they don't actually set up the double panes to provide an insulation factor or thermal barrier (surprise!) and promise only that their special reflectivity will give energy efficiency by bouncing dangerous UV waves away from our door's exterior (where direct sunlight of ANY kind never hits) while permitting cold air to flow right through - thereby making condensation a certainty on humid days when we run our air conditioning. And yes - that combination happens a LOT in Texas.
Bonus: come Wintertime, this will translate to a cold incoming draft and interior condensation - maybe even sheets of ice upon which we can chip off and add to any alcohol we'll still be able to afford!
It being that sort of day, we ducked out of the house (it's "fix your mistakes day," so there's a lot of hammering, painting, and such going on at the Jarlsberg estate) and went to McDonald's, where we managed to bring the entire operation to a halt by turning in a complicated and, perhaps, wholly unprecedented order: "A Big Mac meal and a cheeseburger." Seriously, the subsequent "meal" would have arrived faster if I'd ordered Duck a l'Orange on a bed of banana Moon Pies.
So please pardon this rambling, self-indulgent post. Following the horror in Las Vegas, it's going to take awhile for us to get back into the levity habit.
BONUS: MEMORIES OF TOM PETTY
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM