Hillary Clinton recently had to cancel a series of interviews after tragically breaking a big toe, which forced her Secret Service detail to immediately call for a big toe truck. Thank you, you've been a beautiful audience, and don't forget to tip your waiters.
No, no - she claims that she was walking backwards down a flight of stairs while wearing high heels and carrying a cup of coffee, which we find entirely believable except for the part where she leaves out being roaring drunk and kicking a staff member.
Or maybe she broke her toe while trying to pull her foot out of her mouth after promising to return Harvey Weinstein's financial contributions, then saying "but there's no one to return them to," then saying "but I'll definitely give the money to charity," after which she declared that Weinstein gave the money to the Clinton Foundation which already is a charity, so she'll keep his filthy, bodily-fluid stained cash after all.
However her alleged injury happened, we'll just note that the woman seems to fall and hurt herself a lot for someone who's not in a 12-step program.
RETROSPECT: BOWE BERGDAHL
Military traitor (and Obama-administration hero) Bowe Bergdahl has quietly taken a guilty plea for desertion, claiming that he couldn't get a fair trial in Trump's America.
In all the coverage (ie, not much) we're hearing about Bergdahl, people seem to be missing the critical context of what was happening at the time of the infamous Gitmo prisoner swap: Obama was being roasted for the criminal (and often fatal) mistreatment of veterans by the VA, and Bergdahl's "rescue" was Barry's way of trying to get off the hook by showing he'd "leave no man behind."
To that end, we're revisiting what we wrote about the Bergdahl incident at the time...
June 2, 2014 - Another Big Effing Deal
(Excerpt) the POW, Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, may actually have been a military deserter at the time he was captured (or conscripted) by the enemy - and at the very least was a man who held a singularly low opinion of the United States even before his alleged capture. According to Bergdahl, our nation is "the most conceited country in the world" and "I am ashamed to be an American. And the title of US soldier is just the lie of fools. I am sorry for everything. The horror that is America is disgusting.”
Sentiments which, of course, match those of his commander in chief - the Great Liberator of Guantanamo Bay.
June 4, 2014 - Let's Fake A Deal
Bowe Bergdahl's father offers Islamic victory prayer in Rose Garden
(Excerpt) Susan "I'll Say Anything" Rice made the rounds of news shows claiming that Sgt. Bergdahl served "with honor and distinction," which doesn't seem to quite square with the impression given by every other soldier who served with him. Then again, perhaps Ms. Rice has simply been misinformed by a Youtube video.
Meanwhile, James Clapper, then director of National Intelligence, said in 2012 that the "Gitmo Five" were unquestionably too dangerous to release...
June 6, 2014 - Suit First, Ask Questions Later
And Hope n' Change can't help but wonder: will Nidal Hassan continue to rot in jail here in the United States, or will his service with "honor and distinction" allow him to be bundled with the Blind Sheikh, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, and other jihadists for Barry's next prisoner swap?
DOCTORING (June 6, 2014)
So why did the White House have to act super-duper fast to secure the Bergdahl-Terrorists swap without meeting the legal 30-day requirement to inform Congress? Supposedly, it was because they compared two videos (allegedly Charlie the Unicorn, and This Too Shall Pass) and came to the stunning conclusion that Bergdahl's health was in rapid decline and immediate action was called for.
Oddly, they came to this conclusion in December, 2013 - but didn't do anything about it until, by wild coincidence, the VA scandal broke wide open and B. Hussein desperately needed to make a highly-visible gesture of caring about members of the military.
Granted, it seems that it's the Taliban's military that got the best of the deal - but at least Barry cares. And gosh, Bergdahl was really, really, really sick and close to dying. Unless he was erroneously diagnosed (from watching a video, no less) by the same nitwits who declared that the Lockerbie bomber, who killed 259 people on Pan Am Flight 203, was only days away from dying and deserved to be released from prison on humanitarian grounds (which Barry agreed to).
Like the "Gitmo 5," he returned to his homeland and a hero's welcome...and then lived another 3 years, much to the horror of the hundreds of families decimated by his act of terror.
But all of this may be overthinking the issue. B. Hussein doesn't actually care about Bergdahl, Bergdahl's health, or the health of any member of our armed forces. He does care about his poll numbers and his popularity in the Muslim world - and he thought this obscene prisoner swap would help him in both areas.
He couldn't possibly be more wrong.