Friday, January 17, 2020

A Walk on the Riled Side

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, articles of impeachment, pelosi, trial, senate, trump

For only the third time in our nation's history, an American President is facing an impeachment trial to determine whether or not he will be removed from office. Such an event demands a full accounting of the facts, a deep understanding of the events which have brought us to this perilous state, and insightful, informed analysis of the trial as it unfolds.

None of which you're going to find here, Lord knows, because we're sick of this shameful sham and won't dignify it with anything resembling "work" on our part.

Rather, we will ridicule the Democrats' preposterous march to the Senate to deliver the articles of impeachment by pointing out that they reminded us of the Wicked Witch of the West's guards, the Winkies, strutting about while intoning: "Yo-ee-oh, Yo-ee-oh, Yo-eeoh, Ee-Ohhhh-ya!" These morons looked like they were carefully carrying a vial of nitro glycerine rather than multiple sheets of used toilet tissue.

Not that the idiocy started with that pinheaded procession...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, articles of impeachment, pelosi, trial, senate, trump

In signing the articles of impeachment, Nancy Pelosi used over a dozen pens - served to her on silver platters and embossed with her own signature in taxpayer-funded gold - in order to create historic souvenirs to gift to her co-conspirators and, in all likelihood, raise a few bucks on eBay.

Despite her assurances that this was a sad and solemn chore, Pelosi grinned like a botox-enhanced Cheshire cat during the signing. Unlike the Cheshire cat, however, she failed to disappear afterwards, which was (and is) a decided disappointment.

Mainstream "news" sources described the proceedings in the most serious of terms, some calling the signing and delivery of the articles "sacramental." We, on the other hand, found the delivery to be more excremental, reminding us of nothing so much as chimps in a zoo flinging their feces just for the sheer pleasure of seeing how far they can spread their stink.

While there will surely be twists, turns, subtleties and surprises in the actual impeachment trial, we don't plan to pay much attention to it. The articles of impeachment are a partisan farce and (the latest) coup attempt. Trump will beat it handily and, we hope, win re-election in a landslide owing to a growing realization in our country that the Democrats are out of control and against our system of government, Constitutional checks and balances, justice, and basic decency.

As is the horse they rode in on.


Sortahwitte said...

Where I live, there is always a street sweeper following a parade.
You know, to sweep up the horse shit left behind by the participants.
Also, I didn't see the clown car. Very disappointing.

Fish Out of Water said...

In a way, the howling mob who has pushed this since inauguration day for this President should hope for acquittal.

Not advocating such myself, but if convicted, there are those among these proponents who might want to look to their personal safety in the aftermath.

Rod said...

New item on the To-Do list: Determine when early voting will begin for this November election.

It's difficult to understand how far these Dims are pushing this. If there are better explanations than "Extreme Desperation by Swamp Dwellers"... I'd like to know.

And @Fish Out of Water: You may be correct.

Bobo the Hobo said...

I still do not understand how any article of impeachment can include Obstruction of Congress; Congress hasn’t worked enough to be obstructed.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

As I understand it, the Winkie's March actually goes "All We Owe/We Owe To Her".

As in the Wicked Witch of the West.

Which, when you think about it, is almost achingly apropos.

Wonder how long it'll be before Nancy Pelosi finds a bucket of water dashed upon her?

ncsercs said...

They'll pay for this in the fall. Believe me, they will.

Geoff King said...

Although the impeachment circus is highly entertaining, the story that I will be following is the pro-gun rally scheduled for Monday in Richmond, Virginia.
Now that Governor Northam has declared that the 1st and 2nd Amendments are null and void in his state, it will be interesting to see if the Second Civil War starts a mere 450 miles north of the last one.

Elbarto said...

The only thing missing from Pelosi's signing ceremony was a calliope providing background music.

Anonymous said...

"Mainstream "news" sources described the proceedings in the most serious of terms, some calling the signing and delivery of the articles "sacramental." We, on the other hand, found the delivery to be more excremental, reminding us of nothing so much as chimps in a zoo flinging their feces just for the sheer pleasure of seeing how far they can spread their stink."

That right there is the money quote. Concisely well put.

Fish Out of Water said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fish Out of Water said...

@Geoff: For the only time in my life I'm with Governor Blackface on this one, for counter intuitive reasons.

All pro 2A people need at this time is for a bunch of brainless hotheads, like the white supremacists who showed up and were arrested, is to create an incident and thus provide ample reason for the other side to point their self righteous fingers and scream, 'See, we told you, we told you!'

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

I thought it was "All we are, we owe her." Meh. Live and learn.

Stilt, just bought a hardcopy of Johnny Optimism. Good Work, my friend.

Snark said...

@Fish: There is little chance for any demonstration anywhere being a peaceful one. Opportunistic thugs such as the dickheads already arrested as well as the antifa scum will use any chance to show their true nefarious intent. I suspect that the gubbernor knows this as well. Watch the antifa be protected by the Virginia authorities while any legitimate demonstrator gets jailed for exercising their constitutional rights. The Virginia dhimicrats are practicing the nullification of the Constitution, like all progressive/liberal/communists will do if they can grab the chance.

Bernie's people have already promised to burn cities if he is denied again. Sounds like 1917 in Russia all over again.

What the dhimicrats in DC don't realize is that they have given PDJT an even bigger bulldozer to drain the swamp they live in. Once it's drained, AG Barr needs to light it off.

TrickyRicky said...

And the horse they rode in on, indeed.

Fred Ciampi said...

What Fish said about them watching their six if a conviction happens. Methinks either way, they all best be watching their six. Among the concerns I have is North-ham's puppet master Bloomberg's [sic] statement that 'ordinary people don't need guns' sounds a lot like some Germans talked about a hundred years' ago. That did not end well.

Monday will be a telling day in my adopted state.

Word is that bloom burger has plants in the crowd to start some king of ruckus to make it look as if us patriots are the bad guys. One thing's for certain, either gubbinor blackface will back down, an impasse will be met, or CWII will start.

And on another front, how many homeless veterans could have been clothed, housed, and fed with the money spent on the gold pens that nan-nan just had to have to sign the papers.

rickn8or said...

"In signing the articles of impeachment, Nancy Pelosi used over a dozen pens - served to her on silver platters and embossed with her own signature in taxpayer-funded gold"

Which is pretty much a description of today's Democrat Party. And the media apologists response to our disdain for this bit of frippery, ("We've always done it this way") is even more grating.

Frankly, I'm surprised the articles of impeachment were on paper; I expected them to be carved in marble. Too bad the Democrats don't show the same degree of respect for the Constitution as they do for the wasted paper delivered by the most expensive and usless messengers on the planet.

John D. Egbert said...

@jpb252: And the music should be "Funeral March of A Marionette." Those who remember (fondly) "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" will understand; the rest should look it up . . .

Boligat said...

That procession needed a couple of people accompanying them shouting, "Unclean, unclean".

John the Econ said...

Theater. Cheap theater at that. Actually, more of a gaslight operation to convince the low-fos that Trump did something that was standard operating procedure from the "scandal free" Obama Administration.

Remember how once all it took to buy Democrat votes were Obamaphones? Now it's "free" health care and college. Personally, I'm holding out for a $50,000-a-month no-show job.

tkdkerry said...

@John D. Egbert -

"Funeral March..." Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Sortahwitte- I'm pretty sure that cleaning up the shit from these animals will require a shovel rather than a broom.

@Fish Out of Water- I can't imagine Trump actually getting convicted. Then again, I couldn't imagine him getting elected so what the Hell do I know?

@Rod- I certainly can't discern any other explanation for this action.

@Bobo the Hobo- Plus, I'm pretty sure that the founding fathers created two whole other branches of government to make sure Congress was obstructed.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Wait, there are actual WORDS to the Winkies' March?! The room is spinning, I've got to sit down. I haven't been this shocked since I found out there was a record of the Andy Griffith whistling theme song in which Andy is singing lyrics about going down to the fishing hole.

@ncsercs- I hope you're right. One thing's for sure: it's going to get ugly.

@Geoff King- That is a big story and one worth watching. Northam has seemingly lost his mind...or at least, lost his understanding of the limitations of his office.

@jpb252- It's pretty easy to imagine the calliope playing while watching her. Or maybe a creepy pipe organ playing Toccata and Fugue in D Minor.

@Anonymous- When it comes to writing, I think I'm at my finest when describing monkey shit. (grin)

@Fish Out of Water- That is a danger, and I feel like those on the Left are constantly trying to cause such an incident.

@Uchuck the Tuchuck- Regarding the Winkies' song, you were right and I was wrong. Although I'm still pretty sure that Creedence Clearwater Revival did a song in which "There's a bathroom on the right."

And glad you like the Johnny book!

@Snark- Prior to his election, there were documented cases of agitators pretending to be Trump supporters and acting out. I won't be surprised if we see it again.

And I agree that the Dems have taken the existing divide between the parties and locked it in carbonite with this idiocy. I wouldn't vote for a Dem for any reason...nor at this point do I even want to hear what they have to say.

@TrickyRicky- In fairness, I don't actually have anything against horses. They can even be useful when used for things like drawing and quartering.

@Fred Ciampi- Monday will indeed be interesting, to put it mildly. And I don't know how much money was wasted on Pelosi's golden pens, but I'm sure they were expensive. Not to mention the cost to fill them with orphan's blood.

@rickn8or- Now that you mention it, Pelosi should have had the articles chiseled into two stone tablets. It would have been less ostentatious.

@John D. Egbert- I remember the tune and you're right - it makes a perfect fit!

@Boligat- Ooh, I wish that had happened...

@John the Econ- I don't offend easily, but the Dems have managed to do it with this Kabuki act. By turning the impeachment process into a partisan pantomime show, they show how little respect (ie, none) they have for the Constitution.

And you're right, it has gotten to be more expensive to buy Democrat votes. Of course, "money is no object" when it's not your money.

@tkdkerry- It really is!

Pat Cummings said...

@Geoff King: Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!

I'm so pleased, Stilt, that you didn't go with the 100th anniversary of the passage of the Volstead Act (i.e., Prohibition) today. Though I expect it's hard to write about that precursor to the Great Depression with a bottle of Clan MacGregor at your elbow...

Colby Muenster said...

I liked Ted Cruz' response: "Given the circus in the House, I’m surprised she didn’t use crayons." Once again the Dems have proven that, just when you thought they couldn't go any lower, they start their descent into the Marianas Trench.

I also loved all the whining about "a fair trial." Really, Nancy? Do you mean "fair" like the fairness shown to Republicans during the House hearings, where they weren't allowed to call or even question witnesses? Receiving lectures on fairness from Pelosi is like receiving lectures on playing fair sports from Bill Belichik.

Clown car? The clown limos were probably driven by the clown chauffeurs back to wait by the clown Gulfstream jets until the press cameras were taken away.

@John the Econ,
$50 grand a month? Maybe change your name from John the Econ to John Biden?

@Fred Ciampi,
West Virginia has made an offer to take in Virginia counties that want to remain free of tyranny. Wouldn't it be awesome if all that was left of Virginia was from Richmond to the Atlantic? As far as I'm concerned, y'all are welcome in NC as well. Might balance out the libtards that exist around Raleigh. Those turds are the only thing that makes us a so called swing state.

Dan said...

I wouldn't call the signing and delivery of the articles sacramental. I see this whole silly thing as sacrilegious.

Regarding the march to the Senate, I've seen several versions, one using the Imperial March from Star Wars and even one with the action sped up accompanied by Yakety Axe.

Will someone be FOIAing the cost of Nancy's Pens? Will someone be selling counterfeits on ebay?

NVRick said...

Did you notice Auntie Maxine with her pen? Standing there waving it like a child with a little flag on Fourth of July .

rickn8or said...

Pat Cummings, in honor of the 100th anniversary of the beginning of Prohibition, I started 5 gallon batches of wine. Hopefully I'll be able to drink some in June in celebration of the Second Amendment victory in the SCOTUS case against NYC's bullshit firearms laws.

REM1875 said...

"Idiots on Parade" I've heard of this but never believed I would get to see it ....

rickn8or said...

"Will someone be selling counterfeits on ebay?"

Dan, I'll bet Mad Maxine already has hers listed.

Regnad Kcin said...

Still waiting to see the Charmin TP dispensers on the street corners in San Fran. That will surely bring the tourist trade back to the "City By The Bay". BTW, what do you do when you drop your wallet on Castro St. ? Kick it down the walk to Market St. and then bend over to retrieve it. Thanks, I'll be here all week......