Wednesday, February 19, 2020

The Road to Hell is Paved

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Barack Obama has churned social media (and sent President Trump into another tweet storm) thanks to this absolutely ludicrous post...

That's right, the a**hole is trying to take credit for the Trump economy by simply throwing down a Big Lie and trusting America's demonstrable history-related  amnesia to let him get away with it. But as the saying goes, "Pepperidge Farm remembers...and so do people who were scarred by 8 years of the Worst Frigging President Ever." Which is why we know that he signed the (ha!) Recovery Act eleven years ago...and it was declared a complete failure only one year later (and every year thereafter). 

To prove this point, let's climb into our convenient time machine...


A White House economist has released a news bulletin for the millions of Americans waiting for Obama's $787 billion dollar "stimulus package" to start doing something to help them: "it's already over." If you blinked, you missed it.

Despite unprecedented (and unsecured) government spending, 49 of 50 states continued to bleed jobs as unemployment levels soared to new highs. Put another way, the "stimulus" didn't stimulate squat. Meanwhile, the Whitehouse continues to claim that the stimulus package saved millions of imaginary jobs that "might have been lost but weren't," and also deflected giant asteroids that "could have struck the Earth but didn't."


If it's true that a sucker is born every minute, Barack Obama is not only the "man of the hour," he's quite possibly either the biggest sucker...or biggest con-artist...of the century.

How else to explain his recent admission that "there's no such thing as a shovel-ready project," after spending nearly a 
trillion taxpayer dollars on these figments of his imagination?

While disappointed to admit that investing in non-existent shovel-ready jobs was perhaps the 
most expensive financial blunder in history, the president has a number of solid fallback plans with which to bolster the U.S. economy.

He's directed Michelle Obama and "those fat kids" to plant money trees in the White House garden... Obamacare dental clinics are collecting teeth to put under the president's pillow for the tooth fairy... and a nationwide search is taking place for geese which lay golden eggs (although there's concern that members of the president's party may immediately kill them to get the "gold inside.")

And as for the $800 billion spent on shovels, well...they'll soon be used to bury the political careers of a 
lot of Democrats.


Like Democrats, dogs have a very limited list of possible solutions for all problems. For Democrats, it's demagoguery or tax and spend. For dogs, it's taking a nap or licking themselves. And in many cases, the dogs' options are not only more effective, but trillions of dollars cheaper.

As a case in point, Obama's Council of Economic Advisors just released their report on the president's stimulus bill...apparently unaware (wink-wink, nudge-nudge) that with all of the 4th of July parades, celebrations, and fireworks, and with all the conservative commentators on vacation, their findings would escape close scrutiny.

Obama's own experts found that the government spent $278,000 of taxpayer money for every job "created or saved." Meaning we could have just hired 2.7 million street sweepers for $100,000 each...and we would not only have saved $427 billion dollars, but we'd have streets so clean you could eat off them. Or in this economy, sleep in them.

But the report also notes that the number of jobs "created or saved" by the president's use of a monetary fire hose has recently declined from 2.7 million to 2.4 million...meaning that in the past 6 months, the "stimulus" has actually caused 288,000 people to lose their jobs. And experts speculate that our economy would now be hiring at a faster rate if no stimulus had ever been passed.

But at least spending all of that money felt really good for the president (and surely felt pretty good to all the politically connected types who actually received the money).

Still, for the future of our country, we think the president should replace his current economic advisers with dogs.  

And perhaps take up yoga.


Pat Cummings said...

Yes, Obama, it's true. There is now a solid recovery, but...

You didn't build that!

MAX Redline said...

What Pat said! And as noted above, This jugeared jackass is the literal definition of “charlatan”.

Unfortunately, like Pantsuit, he just won't go away.

Fish Out of Water said...

Boy did the the worst electoral mistake since the peanut farmer from Plains, Ga hit a nerve!

I personally see this as another sign the democrats looking ahead see themselves headed for an unmitigated electoral disaster this November and pulling out whatever/whoever to try and avoid it.

Jess said...

I usually feel apathy for the mentally challenged, but will make an exception for the Kenyan impostor.

Bobo the Hobo said...

The Lightbringer reigned over eight years of duplicitous despair which almost destroyed our nation. Those eight years were also my most active years of Tourette’s

Geoff King said...

Since Ă˜bama said Trump would need a "magic wand" to bring manufacturing jobs back, isn't it time for Trump to tweet "abracadabra mother*ucker!"?

Fred Ciampi said...

I know this question's been asked at least 1,733,922 times (approximately) but when are the O'bummers going to be brought to justice for their crimes. Asking for a friend.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Fred: They signed the same deal with Satan that Hitlerly did.

The Italian Meat Sauce said...

Hold on, it turns out that Hussein Obama happens to actually be a brilliant economist.
He implemented his secret economic plan, which created eight years of the worst recovery in our nations history, causing most of our citizens to suffer...only to have it completely turn around under his successor's watch. There are people walking around with PhDs in Economics that couldn't have come up with this scheme.

American Cowboy said...

@ Geoff King...That is a comment I would surely enjoy Trump making.

But when it comes to the current Trump economy to quote the mother*ucker, "You didn't build that..."!

Sortahwitte said...

Bath House Barry and his trans-gendered husband, aka the wookie, have left a legacy in the white house that time and bleach will never erase. The saddest part is how much he damaged race relations in our country. Race should have no place in our nation, whether it shows itself as segregation, reparations, or quotas.

BobHe said...

BHO waved his magic-shovel around here (a.k.a. millions of taxpayer $), dug up a perfect stretch of parkway and repaved it; all we had to show for it was weeks of travel delays and happy democrat-connected contractors. (I'm reminded of another wave of his magic-shovel-wand to screw up the used car market for months by paying tax $ for a trade-in that then had to be destroyed.) GOD BLESS PRESIDENT TRUMP and GOD BLESS THE FLYOVER STATES.

Fish Out of Water said...

Had forgotten about the 'cash for clunkers '. Anyone aware of any alleged benefits from this program?

John the Econ said...


Great summation of the Obama era, @Stilton.

The only people who benefited from "The Obama Recovery" were the already-wealthy and rent-seeking classes, and bigger government. The trillions of dollars of "stimulus" created by Federal borrowing and near-zero interest rates stole wealth from savers (who went from 4% to 0.001% on their savings accounts) went to inflate the values of equities, largely owned by the 1%. For all the feint damnation of Wall Street, Wall Street loved Obama for this.

Disclosure: I'm by no means anywhere near being a 1%-er, but I will say that we made far more money from my investing than the substantial money we lost in our business ventures at the time. This is largely because when "the smart people" were screaming "Capitalism is over!" and the chicken littles were selling, I was buying. Near-zero interest rates did the rest. Thanks Obama!

Meanwhile while the 1%-ers were satiated, most of the middle class and "main street" took it on the chin. Sorry. A recovery that would/should have taken a year to 18-months took over a decade

In fact, up until the 2016 campaign season, the "smart people" of the left were actually congratulating themselves for supposedly managing 1.5% economic growth in a supposedly post-American-dominated world. The operative term of the time was "Managed Decline"; the idea that the "smart people" could manage America's economic decline so that it wound't be as bad as it would have if we had just let free market capitalism run its course. They argued that w'd never see better than 2% growth ever again, so we should really be happy that Obamanomics was delivering what little it was.

But don't just believe me: Go to your favorite search engine, limit the search window to between 2008 and 2016 and enter "managed decline" and watch what comes up. They were so smart! They certainly didn't anticipate anything that happened after November 2016.

So now the people who congratulated themselves for the awesome sub-2% returns of "managed decline" now wish to take credit for the exact opposite of what they were working for. Again, chutzpah. But it will work, because Progressives have no memory and are too lazy to research otherwise. No matter who ends up being the Democratic candidate, a central plank of the platform will be "Make America 2008 Again!"

udaman said...

"Slavery paved the way to emancipation." That's a good one!!! Hahahahahahahaha!

John the Econ said...

@Fish Out of Water, "Cash for Clunkers" was a perfect example of Progressive economic hubris:

It was another gift from taxpayers to the wealthy, who would have bought new cars anyway. Poor people couldn't afford to buy new cars, even at a discount.

It intentionally destroyed perfectly serviceable automobiles, removing their value from the national balance sheet.

It screwed poor and middle class people even more in that it deprived the secondary market of inventory, inflating the value of used cars. (At the time, I was looking to replace one of my cars with another used equivalent, and was shocked when I found that a suitable replacement would have cost twice what I had expected a few years earlier)

It screwed poor people again in that it wasn't just used cars that were eliminated from the used market, but their parts as well. The "clunkers" were not allowed to be parted out, but by law had to be totally destroyed. (This was insanely stupid, and also totally contrary to the "green" agenda it was supposed to be supporting) So used parts to keep other otherwise serviceable cars on the road were not available, making them more likely to be junked as well, further contributing to the shortage of serviceable used cars.

Just another great example of the Progressive War on the Poor and Middle Class.

It's sort of akin to solving the "housing crisis" by destroying old houses instead of rehabilitating them or just renting them out at lower rates. But this is how Progressives think.

Shelly said...

I remember during zero's terms, he blamed everything that went wrong on W Bush and took ostentatious victory laps on the few victories he had, i.e., killing bin Laden. Remember I inherited this and I inherited that? The stimulus was merely payoffs to connected Democrats and we all know it. But what hubris does it take to actually state in public that he's responsible for Trump's economy? It's called malignant narcissism.

Colby Muenster said...

So Obammy gets to take credit for today's booming economy, and also gets to blame his suck ass economy on Bush? As we say in the South, "Bless his heart!"

Wanna know what I remember about the state of the US during his 8 year reign of dumb-shittedness? Four dollar a gallon gas, 401k going backwards, damn near everybody but me on food stamps, the police "acting stupidly," Iran being rewarded for backing world wide terror, a "justice" department crookeder than a dog's hind leg, the media swooning every time the jackass opened his mouth, our soldiers being blown to bits because the military couldn't afford armor for Humvees, but we could give $150 billion in cash to Iran, "I gots me a Obamaphone!, Obammy saying GDP over 2% was a thing of the past, the near total destruction of our health care system... OH, and a tooth whistle.

And that's just off the top of my head....

@Geoff King,
You, sir, win the coffee spew of the week award!

miniskunk said...

Obama could actually claim credit for having given Trump no where to go but up so, from a certain way of thinking, he was responsible for the comparatively better economy today. I guess Obama is being consistent. He blamed Bush for the mess he inherited so naturally he thinks Trump has inherited the benefits of what he did or didn't do as president.

Colby, Jack said...

@Geoff King Beautiful! Beats my "I got you're magic wand... right HERE."

Anonymous said...

What the Obama *magic* really was was getting his dumb --- out of office. When the news broke that a person who knew how business works was in office, the market responded immediately.

Making it more expensive for employers to increase the number of employees and simultaneously encourage illegal immigration to occur did not encourage the employer to increase the size of their company. Thanks Obama.

He only mentions this now because of his precious legacy. He hoped to milk it for far longer. Now he attempts to say he will *save* the Democratic Party. Shsshyeah, you go on dreamer ...

Bruce Bleu said...

So, liberals… how did lamont set it up that the recovery HE instituted was going to take EIGHT YEARS to begin happening during the presidency of somebody he HATES?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pat Cummings- That phrase finally makes sense!

@Section147- I can't really improve on that statement.

@MAX Redline- At least Barry keeps a lower profile than Hillary. Then again, Barry doesn't intend to run for President this year...

@Fish Out of Water- I agree that this is really the Dems having to concede that the Trump economy is a huge success. They hate running against prosperity - especially when it's shared by people across the board.

@Jess- You raise an interesting point; is Barry deluded enough that he actually believes this? I'll admit it's not a possibility that I'd considered.

@Bobo the Hobo- You and me both.

@Geoff King- I do wish that Trump would cut back on his tweets by about 95%...but I'd like to see the tweet you describe!

@Fred Ciampi- According to my calendar, he'll be brought to justice the day after they start iceskating in Hell.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Yeah, it's not like it's hard to find babies to sacrifice.

@The Italian Meat Sauce- Barry learned the "delayed reaction" trick from George W. Bush. That's why for many years into Barry's administration, everything was still blamed on Bush.

@American Cowboy- You know, every statement about Barry gets better when the word "motherf*cker" is added!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Sortahwitte- You're absolutely right. The one freaking thing that Obama could have actually pulled off - and be rightfully celebrated for - is a racial healing of this nation. Instead, he threw gasoline on the flames to give himself more political power.

@BobHe- Oh yeah, the "cash for clunkers" program... What a scam that was! You're right that Trump is the best thing to happen to our beloved flyover states.

@Fish Out of Water- "Cash for Clunkers" created plenty of benefits for political cronies of Obama, but none overall for the American people.

@John the Econ- Very well put! The Dems keep bragging about the length of the Obama recovery as if it were a good thing to take a 24-hour cold and prevent it from resolving for weeks and weeks. It pains me to know how many people are buying this Big Lie.

@udaman- Thanks!

@John the Econ- Good breakdown (no pun intended) of the disastrous "Cash for Clunkers" program. Only the wealthy benefitted, and everyone else got screwed. Which, now that I think of it, isn't a bad one-sentence history of Obama's legacy.

@Shelly- Exactly right! Barry blamed his failures on his predecessor and now takes credit for his successor's accomplishments. Malignant narcissm is right!

@Colby Muenster- Your memory is accurate. For reasons even I can't explain, I spent 8 years documenting what a disaster Obama was. All of those blog posts are still online (at and I take pride in the fact that everything I wrote still stands up today as an accurate history of the times. A history the Left would really, really like us to forget.

@miniskunk- There's a lot of truth to what you say. The economy turned on its afterburners pretty much the moment Trump was elected and hadn't even done anything yet. The magic was that Obama was leaving and taking his anti-business policies with him.

@Colby, Jack- "And a tube of KY Jelly!"

@Anonymous- Yep, we're in complete agreement. The bad economy would have self-corrected (as it's always, always done in the past) if not for Obama finding ways to keep that natural recovery from happening. Pretty much any Republican taking the job after him would have created an "economic miracle" just by not being Barry.

@Bruce Bleu- And why didn't Barry tell us when we could expect his policies to finally pay off?

John the Econ said...

"Only the wealthy benefitted, and everyone else got screwed. Which, now that I think of it, isn't a bad one-sentence history of Obama's legacy."

Actually, that's a one-sentence history of Progressivism in general. The same could be said of the Great Depression, which was dragged out for over a decade longer than necessary. One could also say that of Bernie's economic model for America, Venezuela.

Speaking of Bernie: The one upside of Bloomberg entering the race is that he's the one Democrat on the stage that isn't afraid to defend capitalism, or mocking the behavior of elitist socialists:

Former New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg maneuvered Independent Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders into itemizing his multiple homes at Wednesday night’s MSNBC Democratic presidential debate in Nevada, during which Sanders also claimed that it’s commonplace for residents of his state to own a “summer camp.”...

“What a wonderful country we have,” Bloomberg said, adding “The best known socialist in the country happens to be a millionaire with three houses. What did I miss here?”

A visibly annoyed Sanders began itemizing his homes, telling Bloomberg: Well, you’ll miss that I work in Washington, house one…”

“That’s the first problem,” Bloomberg quipped.

“Live in Burlington, house two,” Sanders said, to which an amused Bloomberg injected, “That’s good.”

“And like thousands of other Vermonters, I do have a summer camp,” Sanders said. “Forgive me for that.”

Got that mere mortals of the deplorable working class? Bernie actually needs his three houses. He's gotta work in Washington, so there's one. There's his real "home" in Burlington, and of course, because managing our personal affairs is stressful, hard work, our socialist elite need their R&R. So of course he needs a summer camp vacation home as well.

Bernie's world: From you according to your ability, to Bernie and his ilk according to their needs.

You've been warned.

Rod said...

AAA) Barry's latest claim about our economy is to me just further evidence that before being a punk kid, a college jerk, a liar, a community organizer (of what "community"?), a blowhard, a failed POTUS and a traitor.. this empty suit has now & probably has had serious mental issues.

BBB) I was not able to watch the proceedings at the Dimocrat "debate" last night, (wife recorded them if interested later); but if the primary objective for each of them was to destroy the others... I wish them all much success in that. I will have to catch up with the analysis later.

Colby, Jack said...

I'm a little late to this party. BHO had a LOT of help in suppressing the recovery from the Mortgage Crisis. On July 13, 2009 Forbes Magazine ran a cover story called "How Congress Will Steal The Recovery."

They were spot on, btw.

Sortahwitte said...

The name of burnie's summer home is actually pronounced "dacha".

Ben Rumson said...

The Babylon Bee turned up what happened to at least one Chuck- Cheese band!

All the best...

Navyvet said...

Obama doesn't have to lick his crotch. The media does that for him.

QueenOfSpades said...

Someone has already figured out Bernie's scam:

$15 X 40 hr week = $600
$600 X 52 weeks per yr = $31,200

Bernie Sanders wants free health care for all and was asked how he would pay for it. His answer was, 'raise taxes to 52% on anybody making over $29,000 per year!'

So, let's see...

52% of $31,200 = $16,224 in tax
$31,200 - $16,224 = $14,976 is your pay
$14,976 ÷ 52 weeks = $288 per week
$288 ÷ 40 hr week = $7.20 per hour

And there ya go...
So much for $15 an hour minimum wage!

Anonymous said...

It wasn't that difficult. I never saw a "ARARIA" sign on a road being built in Texas, Oklahoma, Georgia, Jersey, or California. I did see those signs on two lane intersections in Ohio, PA, WI, and the suburbs of Chicago. Anywhere at risk to the Marxist party got money to re-do intersections with 1k cars a day, and a nice big sign.