Christmas 2023

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The news may be grim, but we'll be damned if we're not going to at least try to put a smile on your face this Christmas! And who better to make that happen than America's favorite sugarplum, Busty Ross!

It would be indiscreet of us to mention what parts of Miss Ross shake "like a bowlful of jelly" when she laughs, but we'll admit to working a lot of Christmas-themed jokes into office conversation lately. For instance,  "How much did Santa's sleigh cost?" Answer: "Nothing, it was on the house!"

Sadly, Miss Ross didn't bust out laughing. So to speak.

Let me try again... "Hey, Busty! What do angry mice send each other in December? Cross mouse cards!!!"

Wow. Tough room. But Merry Christmas to all of you! -Stilt

BONUS: Speaking of shaking things up for Christmas, this should do the job nicely!

Book 'Em, Santa

In this crazy, fast-moving, high-tech world of entertainment devices, isn't it nice to know that the very best gift to give a child at Christmas is still a good old-fashioned picture book?

And I emphasize "old-fashioned" because the new generation of picture books is a one-way ticket to Hell. Don't believe me? Then check out these actual picture books from Amazon...

Okay, to be fair none of these books are intended to fall into the hands of actual children. Rather, they're parodies of children's books aimed at adults - and I'd be hypocritical if I didn't admit that a number of these titles made me laugh. 

I'd also be a hypocrite if I didn't say that seeing all of these has me thinking that I may be just a pseudonym away from starting to publish some of these of my own in 2024. Many of these books are selling like crazy, and it's not like I don't already have a disturbed sense of humor...

My apologies to the long-gone artist currently turning over in his grave

And not to seem crass, but I suppose this is as good a place as any to remind you that there's still time to order giftable editions of my books Johnny Optimism Volume One, Volume Two, and Volume Three ("Home for the Horrid Days") from Amazon. Or for the wordplay lover on your list, the fun cartoon book co-written with my beloved wife, Kathy, "The Skin of a Hen's Teeth."

I have also written a lot of real children's books over the years and can say in complete seriousness that I still consider well-done books to be among the very best gifts you can give children. I was certainly influenced by the many beautiful picture books I received as a child (and still cherish today).

Although you may or may not take that as a good endorsement considering how I've turned out. 

Where There's Smoke, There's Fired

The bad news is that the world is still all screwed up...

...but the good news is that the holidays are upon us with colorful lights, good cheer, old favorite Christmas songs, and new musical delights like Joe Biden's "A Spoonful of Brains for Christmas" (Push the play button below TWICE to hear)...

Is it a great song? Well, no - but what's interesting (and frightening) about it is the song was generated entirely by artificial intelligence. At a fun website you can try for free, you simply tell the AI what kind of song you'd like and it will create the music, lyrics, and vocals and even let you download the result as either audio or video. Granted, the songs are only about a minute long and a lot of them sound just awful, but isn't it fun to force AI to do stupid and demeaning things in the few remaining weeks before it takes over the world? (Expert tip: use someone else's computer in case the AI comes looking for revenge.)

But even as a blind pig can occasionally find an acorn, you can sometimes create something halfway catchy, like this country song about a fellow enjoying the benefits of having a "Mistletoe Belt Buckle"...

True story: I actually came up with the idea of a mistletoe belt buckle (or attachment) decades ago and thought of trying to sell it as a novelty product. But eventually, the idea went into a drawer with lots of other million-dollar ideas. Now it seems you can actually buy them. I haven't checked to see if anyone got rich from the idea because I don't want to know.

ENTIRELY RANDOM STUFF

• With an eye toward the frugality that our government is famous for, Joe Biden recently announced that taxpayers will be funding a high-speed rail project for "Over a billion three hundred million trillion three hundred million dollars." Thank goodness the job went to the lowest bidder, right? And let's hope that the high-speed train will be harder to derail than Old Joe's mind.

• Monkeypox is back in the news with an exciting new fatality rate that's over ten times higher than last time (one out of ten infected people will die). Darn those pesky screen doors at the Wuhan lab!  It's also worth noting that this time we're supposed to call it "Mpox" because liberals say that "Monkeypox" is racist because monkeys make them think of black people. So the m-word is the new n-word, at least in liberal circles. 

And from the vault...

• Finally, I recently found a Christmas decoration that I absolutely had to have for my front yard, to delight the neighbors, passersby, and ruby-cheeked children. I give you, "The Farting Polar Bear"...

Unfortunately, when I read the actual description it claimed to be a polar bear pulling a Christmas tree on a sleigh. Still nice, but for me the holiday magic was gone.

Santos Clause

The bipartisan and highly oxymoronic House Committee on Ethics has spoken and the House has subsequently voted to expel Representative George Santos (R, NY) for being "too obvious" about lying, grifting, and fraud - acts which threatened to "give away our whole game" according to one Washington insider who I'm probably making up.

Personally, I wanted Santos to remain in office as a team mascot for all of the liars, bribe-takers, sexual deviants, and poltroons currently mismanaging our country. Is a two-thirds majority of the House really claiming that Santos is more of a liar than Adam Schiff? That's not even theoretically possible. Was Santos' use of campaign funds for an "Only Fans" account worse than Senator Barney Frank's apartment being used as a gay brothel? Was Santos' use of Botox more extensive than that of Nancy Pelosi, who actually could be reached for comment but is unable to move her mouth muscles?

The answers, of course, are "no," "no," and "mmph." George Santos is a lying scoundrel, sure, but his real crime was a lack of style points. He was an unwanted public reminder that people regularly (or universally?) get into office by lying about their background, their accomplishments, and their intentions.  

And in that sense, he was actually one of the most useful and transparent politicians in the Capitol.

GET SCROOGED

There's no particular reason behind this cartoon, other than I came across this piece of art and liked Scrooge's "Oh, piss off" face in reaction to Marley's ghost.  Hey, you enjoy your Christmas spirit and I'll enjoy mine (grin).

Assassiversary

Hey, no big Dealy

Today is the 60th anniversary of the CIA blowing the brains out of a much-loved American President. Unfortunately, he wasn't much loved by the power brokers and string-pullers, so they offed him and covered it up.

For many years, I thought that was just conspiratorial nonsense. Now, I pretty much take it as fact. Newly revealed evidence is coming out faster and faster and you'd have to be a moron at this point to believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. Plus, watching how the acronym intelligence agencies have tried to take out Donald Trump and made martyrs of the (righteous) January 6th protesters, it's obvious that they are morally bereft enemies of America whose activities are barely even clandestine anymore. 

And look at the massive cover-up of the Covid fiasco. The "experts" in the government used our tax money to help create the virus, and then made us guinea pigs for mandated "vaccinations" that likely did more harm than good. If you doubt it, look at the numbers for "excess deaths" since vaccinations began. In some age groups, deaths from all causes are suddenly and mysteriously up by 20% - and that's a huge spike. 

It's a complicated story, but one compelling theory is that the mRNA "vaccines" suppress disease-fighting T-cells in the body. These are the cells tasked with knocking off harmful things in your body like early cancers before they become a problem.  Or at least, that's what they used to do before we got injected, and why so many people are suddenly dying with conditions that take off like wildfire.  Not that you'll hear this from the CDC, the AMA, the WHO, or pretty much anyone else who is supposed to be watching out for us.

As I look back 60 years, it saddens me to think to what extent I've lived in a manipulated world of illusion. I take no pleasure now in seeing the curtain pulled back...but I can't resist looking and, for some reason, still caring.

Call me a tin foil hat conspiracist if you like. But I hope Donald Trump will be wearing far more protective headgear when the acronym agencies make their move.

GIVING US THE BIRD

Okay, the rant above is pretty much of a bummer and I apologize for that - but it's how I'm feeling today. Still, Thanksgiving is nearly upon us so it only seems right to also share a lighter sentiment...

Pardon is such sweet sorrow

As far as I know, there's no truth to the rumors that Biden is considering making the pardoned turkey his running mate for 2024 to increase voter confidence in the possible succession of power. He really should, though.

AND FINALLY

Remember that bad mood I said I was in? This may be one of the causes...

I'm missing Kathy very intensely today. Holidays are harder than other days - and those other days are no freaking cakewalk to begin with. 

And it just struck me recently that I feel like a human leftover. Mind you, leftovers are loved by many. But after a while, their appeal diminishes.

Whining aside, I'm genuinely thankful for many things in my life, most certainly including the friendship and camaraderie we share on this website. Please accept my sincere wishes for a very Happy Thanksgiving this year and every year!

It's Vine. Everything Is Fine.

I'm rounding out the week with the final (for now) installment of oddities from the Amazon Vine program, where invited people (like me) can get free items to review and can continue doing so as long as our reviews say something other than "what the hell was I thinking when I ordered this?"

Of course, I can share my honest reactions here with you!

Vine and Cheese Party

I'm back with more questionable items from the Amazon Vine program and my even more questionable reactions to them. These are all real items and this is the way I really see them. My head can be a "funny" place to live in sometimes...

Vine Flies When You're Having Fun

Multiple wars are raging, nuclear sabers are being rattled, Washington is awash in corruption, inflation is out of control, and the "new" Beatles song was a disappointment. But as the old saying goes, "When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping." Or in my case, I go Vine-ing.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, the Amazon Vine program offers a huge array of free items to a select group of people (like me!) in return for our honest online reviews of the products. A lot of them are great products - but not all of them. Some are just bizarre, baffling, or in horrible taste. And since those are the ones I find amusing, those are the ones I'm going to share with you just for fun.

While browsing Vine today, I found too many odd items to cram in here so I've decided to make this a theme week with fresh posts on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (which I haven't done in quite a while). Should other news be important enough or funny enough, I'll probably throw that in too. But for now, warm up your holiday shopping engines and join me for another edition of "Capitalism Gone Wild!"

Dim Some, Anyone?

Doing its best imitation of Doc Brown from "Back to the Future," our wild-eyed government once again declared that all of our clocks had to accelerate to 88 miles per hour in order to travel backward in time by one hour so that we can experience what it's like for Biff to squeeze us into unconsciousness with a choking headlock.

There is a group of people who claim that the "Fall back" half of the Daylight Saving Time nightmare is the better of the two annual time changes, some of whom actually claim to like this one because they think it gives them an "extra hour of sleep" These are the same people who think they get "extra spending money" every time they move a five-dollar bill from one pocket to another.

Meanwhile, the clock is ticking and - since it's noon when I'm writing this - I only have about five hours of daylight left to try to accomplish anything. It usually takes me that long just to decide what I'd like to try to accomplish. Because once the world turns black outside my windows, I've already dropped that day into a shallow grave, said a few unprintable words as I pat the dirt into a mound, then returned to my house for coffee or liquor or heroin or whatever the hell can sustain me until morning - assuming that morning will ever come again (no sure thing, now that it's in the hands of the bureaucrats).

FROM THE VAULT

Change her mind.

Hollow Weenie

And there was a little something for Ukraine, too

In the interest of journalistic integrity, not that many other news sources find journalistic integrity interesting, I have to admit that this is a file photo of Biden from last Halloween. Because this year even Joe's PR team realizes that he needs to pretend to be more interested in world crises than using candy to lure potential child-sniffing victims.

Not that costumed kids will be missing out on much. Thanks to Bidenomics, nobody can really afford to be handing out candy except in those microscopic cubes oxymoronically called "fun-size" bites. Which may also explain why the White House is encouraging cash-strapped peons to buy "fun-size" houses, cars, and groceries while using only "fun-size" amounts of energy and medical services so as not to deplete their suddenly "fun-size" savings accounts and retirement portfolios.

Here at stately Jarlsberg Manor, I usually like to decorate my yard for Halloween with a bunch of inflatables, lights, sound effects, and a video projector or two. However, we've had rain for days and I haven't been able to set anything up yet. And there's more rain and the first freeze of the season in the forecast for North Texas. So I'm not sure if I'll be able to properly honor the holiday or if I'll be stuck with 300 teeny-tiny fun-size Milky Ways, Snickers, Twix bars, and M&Ms. 

Which my not-so-fun-size waistline definitely doesn't need. In any event, Happy Halloween to all!

FROM THE CRYPT

To help fill out the page, here is one of my very first "Hope n' Change" cartoons from way back in 2009, before I knew what the webcomic would actually be. It seems Halloween-appropriate and I've taken the liberty of colorizing the black & white original because I could use that for an excuse to put off housework a bit longer.

SCROTUS

At least try not to spend so much time scratching them

We are living in sad and dangerous times. And inexplicably bizarre times; how else to explain that in the aftermath of Hamas's attack on Israel that killed and maimed thousands including women, children, and Americans, Joe Biden has just rubberstamped $100 million in aid to the Palestinians who elected Hamas and keep them in power? And this while Hamas is holding American hostages?!

I found news of this to be so unbelievable that I had to look it up myself. And sadly, it's true - but in researching the story, I found myself getting distracted by an interview conducted on Air Force One that reveals that Joe Biden has suddenly grown chin testicles.

Fortunately, he appears to be waxing them, but they're still pretty disturbing to see wobbling back and forth. And it begs the question of what's going on here? A quick Google search of "Biden" and "balls on chin" only brought up an AARP Magazine article in which Jill Biden was reminiscing about fellatio.

Are chin-balls yet another unforeseen side effect of the Covid mRNA non-vaccines? Or is this an entirely new Fauci-funded surprise from the Wuhan Institute of Virology and Bat Ball Science? Then again, maybe it simply evolved on its own in one of China's infamous open-air wet ball markets.

But wherever it came from, it's not a good look - and I can't imagine the N95 "Uncle Joe Jockstraps" we'll soon need to wear on our faces will be much of an improvement.

GENERAL BITCHEN

• I've been a bit more out of touch recently because I've developed some pretty significant hip pain and am having to learn how to cope with it both physically and mentally. Initial x-rays show severe degeneration of my left hip (which, in fairness, is the kind of hip you'd expect to find in a degenerate) which makes walking painful and frequently necessitates the use of a cane. And not a cool cane topped with a silver skull that twists to release the hidden poison-tipped sword within. No, I'm using the Walmart adjustable special and hoping it doesn't suddenly "adjust" mid-step.

To date, the x-rays have only caused my gerontologist (sigh...) to note "that probably hurts a lot" and then give me a referral for a hip specialist to see in late November. I know hip replacements are popular these days, but I have a horror of hospitals and surgery. SOooo it's been worrisome. Hip pain advice will be warmly welcomed in the comments. Although I can't legally get medicinal marijuana in Texas despite having (wait for it!) joint pain.  

• And just to round out this page and give everyone something to look at, here's a picture related to a project I'm kinda sorta maybe working on...

As I've mentioned here before, I have a deep and abiding love and fascination for the bygone world of sideshows (and yes, freakshows). So I'm currently researching long-forgotten sideshow acts which showcased unusual talents and physiognomies. Where that research will take me I'm not sure, but from the mists, "Roderick the Riddle Revealer" has suggested that it will be "no place where you make a profit."

War in Israel

 Don't look away...

This is what's happening in Israel...

Note: this is the actual scene, but I joined it together imperfectly from two vertical video shots.

It started on a Holy Day in Israel. 5,000 incoming missiles, assaults from land, sea, and air, over 600 killed, and over 2,000 wounded. Palestinians have taken Israeli hostages (and non-Israelis who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time), some of whom have already been raped, killed, and paraded through the streets for the delight of cheering throngs of savages.

I lack the insights and language to describe either the history or the horror that is taking place before our eyes, but it takes no special perspective to recognize pure evil when it presents itself. There is no difficult choice about which side is right and which is wrong.

A very good friend of mine in Israel is in the heart of this nightmare. I fear for his life and the lives of his family and friends. Indeed, for all of the people of Israel. He shared this post from a friend on Facebook and it's important to read...

"Biden gave Iran access to frozen money, most recently $6 billion that had been frozen in South Korean banks. Since the administration came into office, it has been pouring money into Gaza aid projects knowing well that Iran’s client terrorist group, Hamas, is fully in control of the territory and would benefit from the help. In fact, Biden officials put in writing, in recently leaked documents, that they knew Hamas would benefit from the money they were sending. They sent it anyway."
---
"As the day of horror ends in the United States and a new day dawns in Israel, the lasting images of the day need to be assimilated. Yes, this was a shocking terrorist attack on a scale which justifies the 9-11 analogy, but with the added aspect of deliberate, individual cruelty on the part of the Hamas animals against Israeli civilians:

"-- The Israeli children -- aged 5, 6, 7 -- kidnapped into Gaza and tortured on video.

"-- The Israeli women raped, kidnapped, and paraded before jeering mobs in Gaza.

"-- The German tourist murdered at a music festival whose stripped body was paraded before jeering mobs in Gaza (in the mistaken belief that she was Jew).

"-- The elderly woman, clearly senile, dragged away uncomprehendingly by vicious animals.

"-- The teenager grabbed from the same music festival, screaming in terror, as her boyfriend is grabbed by terrorists helpless to assist.

"-- The family with a small girl and boy -- a third, older sister having just been murdered -- filmed as terrorists taunt them while the children weep in horror.

"-- The Hamas drone footage of the deliberate and targeted destruction of an ambulance.

"And on and on.

"The usual clowns will look for openings to condemn Israel for a "lack of proportionality" in its response. NO -- after a horror like this, the response MUST be disproportionate. It must be so severe and decisive that it is understood loudly and clearly that this will never again be tolerated.

"It will be a hard week to come, maybe longer. But one thing will be clear: We will know at the end who our friends are and who are not. And that will also be remembered."

- From a friend who prefers to remain anonymous.

As my friend accurately pointed out, more than "thoughts and prayers" are needed from all of us (although they, too, should be included in your support). Rather, we need to be in touch with our legislative representatives to demand appropriate actions to bring this violence to a halt - and hopefully make it impossible to happen again. In my opinion, any American response that the world doesn't scream is "too much" is not enough.

Here's a good place to begin: Mercury One, which is a totally legit charitable/humanitarian organization, is collecting money for medical supplies - because Israel's stockpile, intended to last for years, was used up in a single day. You can make a donation at this link, and I hope you will. 

F the B.I.

Greetings fellow radicals and anarchists! Did everyone remember to bring their molotov cocktails, surface-to-air missiles, super-duper-automatic machine guns that never run out of ammo, and a healthy snack?

Question: after reading the statement above, how many of you know that I'm joking? All of you?! Wow, that's great - because nobody at the FBI is in on the joke at all.

An article in Newsweek, which I frankly didn't know still existed, is detailing the FBI's new definitions of potential terrorists who absolutely deserve the agency's highest attention (and detention) for espousing the "wrong" socio-political views. Hint: if you ever voted for Donald Trump, you're already a terrorist! Aloha Snackbar!

So what, other than blatant corruption and a craze for power that would make the SS blush, has got the FBI's knickers in such a twist? Let's hear from some of the people supposedly holding the agency's leash:

"Donald Trump and MAGA Republicans are a threat to the very soul of this country," according to Hunter Biden's mentally deteriorating meal ticket.

Homeland Security Advisor Liz Sherwood-Randall proclaims "the use of violence to pursue political ends is a profound threat to our public safety and national security. It is a threat to our national identity, our values, our norms, our rule of law - our democracy." And are MAGA Republicans using such violence? Can we get examples? Hmm? Shut up, terrorist, and don't ask questions.

Supreme Court washout and current lickspittle Attorney General Merrick Garland states "attacks by domestic terrorists are attacks on all of us collectively, aimed at rending the fabric of our democratic society and driving us apart." Again, Garland seems to be skipping the part where we've actually been besieged with attacks by domestic terrorists. Well, other than BLM, Antifa, and Occupy Wallstreet.

Still, all of these entirely fictitious accusations have been justification enough for the FBI to put you and me in their crosshairs officially. And I, for one, am pretty pissed off about it.  We're not only being personally targeted for hatred and government-sanctioned persecution (for instance, Hillary Clinton is suggesting "formal deprogramming" of MAGA sympathizers), we're also being pushed away from being able to participate in real elections (hint: if The State puts your candidate in jail for purely political reasons, you aren't voting in a real election).

I wish I had a good way to wrap this up, but I don't. I just have a metric assload of anger and I'm going to have to spend some time thinking about what to do with it.

Picket Whines

On Tuesday, Joe Biden was flown to Michigan, lifted from a coffin containing soil from his native land, then propped up in a UAW picket line to show his support for hard-working voters who would like to work less hard and for a lot more money.

Specifically, old Joe is supporting the idea that the American auto industry should be shut down unless (ahem) "workers" get a 46% pay increase (specifically to help deal with Biden's inflation) AND have their 40-hour work week cut down to 32 hours over a 4-day work week. Mind you, they'd still get paid for 40 hours because the UAW likes round numbers.

It's interesting to note Joe's enthusiasm for a strike to shut down an important national industry at the same time he's claiming that it's an act of treason for Republicans to go "on strike" and potentially shut down our government rather than approve preposterous and unaffordable spending increases being pushed by Democrats.

Then again, the only consistency Joe really cares about is making sure his ice cream hasn't completely melted by the time he's loaded back aboard Air Force One.

Unfettered

I take no pleasure in making brain damage jokes, at least when it's an actual medical condition and not just a political philosophy. But I also take no pleasure in trying to pretend there's not something significantly wrong with Charles Schumer completely abandoning the Senate dress code just so John Fetterman's keepers will find it easy to change him when he has little "accidents" below the Beltway (so to speak).

I've not heard any speculation (which is weird in itself), but can there be any reason other than absolute necessity that Fetterman wears flopsy fastener-free clothing that only takes toddler-level skills to put on and take off? And if this is indeed the case, isn't the brain-damaged elephant in the room the likelihood that Fetterman is too impaired to serve?

Then again, considering the mental states of our president and vice-president, maybe I'm just setting the bar too high. 

HALF THE MAN HE USED TO BE

Speaking of guys who don't wear traditional pants, this gentleman appears annually at the State Fair of Texas to tell people about the many fun attractions and activities while barely containing his bitterness about all the carnival rides with signs that say "you must be this tall to ride."

Okay, I'm lying about that because, appearances notwithstanding, this is an ordinary man of ordinary height and the usual number of appendages. Unlike bandleader and movie star Johnny Eck, who was the real deal (yes, I'm a fan). What we're seeing here is a classic sideshow illusion of a type that I've always wanted to build for use at Halloween (genuinely), which means if I'm going to do it I should get started soon. 

Then again, if the project runs long I guess I could still sit in my front yard dressed as a half-Santa Claus. It would be worth it just to see the look on children's faces when I'd say "Chimney accident."

9/11 Again

It's mourning in America. At least it is in my heart and home and I'm sure for many others on this September 11th anniversary. Although sadly, it's a virtual certainty that the media will be talking much more today about January 6th than September 11th. 

Who can forget where they were when they heard the news that terrorists in Washington had broken several windows, rattled some fences, waved American flags, and strolled through government buildings taking selfies before walking away peacefully hoping to arrive in time for Early Bird dinner specials in nearby restaurants.

It is an obscenity for anyone to compare the two events, let alone to have media outlets reporting stories suggesting "9/11 Was Nothing Compared To January 6th."  

There is no one here on this site who believes that statement to be true. Which is why, on this always-hard day of remembrance, I'm grateful to be in the company of patriots.

FROM THE VAULT: SEPT 11, 2016

I can't believe the events of 9/11 happened 15 years ago. It feels no longer than a heartbeat. And despite the admonition to "never forget," too many have. They've forgotten the spirit of unity that Americans shared for a brief time. A spirit that transcended race, class, or political parties.

I apologize for even briefly mentioning politics today, but I believe that the beginning of the end of that unity occurred when newly-elected Senator Hillary Clinton took to the floor of the Senate, held up a tabloid newspaper headline, and declared "BUSH KNEW" an attack was likely and didn't stop it.

Years later, as Secretary of State, for purely political reasons Hillary Clinton claimed not to know that September 11th was a day of special meaning to terrorists and a day when security should be at its very highest level. And four Americans serving in Benghazi paid the ultimate price for her recklessness and folly. This detestable woman must not become our next president.

But enough about that. This should be a day of reflection and contemplation. And to that end, I want to remind readers of heroic firefighter David M. Weiss, the brother-in-law of Jim Hlavac, a frequent commenter here on Hope n' Change. (2023 Note: sadly, Jim Hlavac died a few years ago.)

Here's how the New York Times described him:

David Martin Weiss, a New York City firefighter, was built like a fireplug. He stood 5-foot-9 and weighed 225 pounds. He was all muscle, with biceps as big as the thigh of a medium-build woman.

He was bulldozer-strong. He looked as tough as he sounded. His head was shaved and his body was covered in tattoos. He drove Harleys.

He was an ironworker before he became a firefighter 13 years ago. He blended both experiences to become a member of the Fire Department's elite force. He joined Rescue Company 1 in Times Square about six years ago after receiving a medal for a rescue attempt: a man's car careened off Franklin D. Roosevelt Drive and plunged into the East River. Mr. Weiss, off duty, stopped his car, climbed down the iron trestles of the elevated highway and jumped into the river to rescue the driver, whose heart had given out.

"He just jumped, knowing that he was the person's only hope," said Thor Johannessen, a firefighter.

Mr. Weiss, 41, of Maybrook, N.Y., had a mean sense of humor. "If he saw a thread, he knew how to pull it to unravel the whole shirt," said Joel Kanasky, another firefighter. "He was the king of that."  

On 9/11, along with other members of the elite "Rescue 1" group, David raced into a burning tower of the World Trade Center to help as many people as possible. He was last seen on the 31st floor of Tower Two, climbing stairs and rushing towards the danger, when the building fell.

The image below is from a commemorative t-shirt which is a prized possession of mine. A remembrance of both the tragedy and remarkable heroism seen on that day.



Let today be a day when we step back from the petty distractions and noise of the media, and think about more important things. About what this country is. About who we are. About what we've lost, and what we each need to do every day to live up to a legacy forged by our best and bravest.

Above all, let's remember the many heroes - living and dead - who have made this a country worth celebrating and defending.

Sniffing Little Grills

In the interest of journalistic integrity, I should point out that the photo above is from a few years ago when Uncle Joe's handlers would still allow him to get close to open flames, sharp utensils, and people who could ask questions.

Still, Labor Day is a fine occasion for gatherings of family and friends, cookouts, and taking time to reflect on how our nation's proud labor unions have paved the way for foreign forced labor camps and the transitioning of our remaining jobs to AI.

There are no special plans for Labor Day weekend here at stately Jarlsberg Manor, even though this weekend will see the birthday of my aging twin brother (still called "the cute one" by those who know both of us). 

Unfortunately, that same day represents the 2-year anniversary of the blood test that stunned us with the news that Kathy had acute leukemia. So that puts a damper on any kind of celebratory mood. For symmetry's sake, I'd like to donate blood that day, but we've already established that my veins just won't cooperate. So I'll probably observe Labor Day in the traditional way by scowling about the lack of mail. Although my seniors' exercise class at the YMCA has also been canceled, so I can at least enjoy that.

That birthday will also mark the expiration of my driver's license meaning I'll be under house arrest here until I can go in for my renewal appointment (which I scheduled two months ago) the following Friday. So no grocery shopping, library trips, or doctor visits for most of a week because of bureaucracy at its worst. How bad is it? If I were to try to make an appointment to renew my Texas Driver's License today, the soonest appointment they could give me would be in mid-January of next year. Even by government standards, that's pretty damn lame...and perhaps a hint that the Texas DMV might want to spend Labor Day contemplating why their laborers aren't even within months of catching up with the needs (and mandatory responsibilities) of the citizenry.

Still, I hope that all of you, dear friends, can find some special pleasures and diversions during this extended weekend! Enjoy!

FROM THE VAULT: LABOR DAY 2016

As Labor Day statistics go, things were pretty pitiful again last month except for the "shovel ready" jobs noted above. There are now over 94 million people in the United States who aren't in the workforce and can't find jobs, which is one of the reasons that "violent crime" is such a popular career choice in Democrat-run Chicago.

You would think those numbers would constitute domestic terror on their face, but apparently the Left doesn't consider it terror as long as you A) spread the body count over a few days and B) mostly kill black people, including kids and young mothers. And nobody appears to give a rat's ass about changing this except, encouragingly, Donald Trump.

But despite the above, Labor Day Weekend remains a festive time in American culture - perfect for cookouts, beach outings, and huge, stinking document dumps. Like the odoriferous release of new FBI records which not only list more criminal activity by Hillary Clinton, but document that her excuse for nearly everything is her claim to have been brain damaged by a fall...

Oops, we just thought of another joke...

Don't worry, Bill, you will.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE...

Happy Millenial Wake-Up Day!

  

 Have a great, safe Labor Day everyone!

Biden's Problem With Stares

The Leftist Media (redundant, I know) got what they think they wanted yesterday when President Trump had to "surrender" to police in Georgia (state motto: "If you hear banjos, keep rowing") and get a mug shot taken. Hopes were high in liberal circles that Trump would be forced to wear an orange jumpsuit, pose in front of height bars, and take one picture head-on, and a second picture in which he's told to turn his head and cough because the Democrats have him by the balls.

Only that's not quite how it worked out. Trump was allowed to wear his suit, and the chilling glare he gave the camera was, in a word, murderous. Trump clearly signaled that he wasn't beaten and was, in fact, ready to rain Hell down on the mendacious bastards who have been railroading him. And he has a lot of people on his side (most certainly including me). Politics aside, we can't continue to believe that we, as citizens, have freedom and justice in this country unless we defend Trump at this point. 

At such time as the jackals are thrown out of Washington and Trump gets back the Oval Office, I'd like to suggest that he quickly sign an executive order giving the state of Georgia to Australia. What the state lacks in kangaroos, it makes up for in kangaroo courts.

A SAD LOSS

It is with a genuinely heavy heart that I have to share news of the passing of Paul Donohue, a wise and funny voice in the comments section who became a good friend of mine in the past months. Here is the notice, written by Paul himself, that I received yesterday:

Hello and good-bye.

If you have received this email I have moved on to a better place.  Checking out of Hotel California, so to speak. Many of you know that I have been in Hospice for C.O.P.D. and several other things since May 2022.  Well, the end finally arrived today, 08/24/23 at 11:12 a.m.

Thanks for your friendship.  I am grateful that you were a part of my life. There will be no wake, no funeral and no obituary.  I am merely slipping away to a new and better place where I hope that we meet again. Until then.

My wonderful Annie is sending this message at my request. She means everything to me.

Paul Donohue

Paul and I had an instant bond because we were both dealing with death. In my case, the loss of my beloved Kathy and in his case, an untreatable terminal illness with time running out. That doesn't mean our correspondence was depressing, because it wasn't. Rather, it meant that we were both inclined to dispense with trivial matters and communicate with a comfort and honesty that would normally have taken years to establish. His good humor lifted me when I needed it and, according to Paul, my humor (and Johnny Optimism, and Kathy's "Skin of a Hen's Teeth" book) did the same for him.

I miss him already but I can say that he struck me as a man who had made his peace with his situation and faced the inevitable without fear. 

So hoist a glass in his honor and say a prayer for this good man and his family. Paul, it was an honor and a pleasure knowing you.

Nose For News

Not.

With writers and actors in Hollywood walking picket lines, people who write about showbiz news have got pretty slim pickings lately. Which is why they've decided to pick a nose, so to speak, to get agitated about.

Specifically, they're in a dither about the upcoming biopic about conductor/composer Leonard Bernstein which stars Bradley Cooper in the starring role. Well, Bradley Cooper and a prosthetic nose which some people are calling an anti-semitic insult because unlike Bernstein, Cooper isn't Jewish and should therefore never appear on film with an artificially augmented sniffer. 

Cooper is being accused of wearing "Jewface," although Bernstein's family says that he looks fine and a careful examination of historical documents shows that Bernstein actually had a pretty big beak (which looked good on him), especially in his senior years.

The trailer for the film looks like what it is: glitzy, high-dollar, Oscar bait with an impressive cast and a compelling story. Which makes it pretty darn hard to believe that anti-semitism has played any part in establishing Mr. Cooper's look for the film. Still, those who want to be offended are enjoying being offended and insisting that no one who isn't Jewish should ever again portray a Jew on film. Unless the actor is Black, Hispanic, Asian, or sexually ambiguous.

=======

HORSE SH... UM... MEDICINE

I'll try not to write too much about Covid here because everyone is sick of hearing about it. But I will tell you that I'm experiencing a lot of rage as truths leak out about how the American people (and world) were lied to, betrayed, robbed, and victimized.

Rather than subject everyone to a rant that could go on for days, I want to direct your attention to a short Youtube video from Dr. John Campbell, who is far and away the most accurate source of information about all of this that I'm aware of. Unless you're watching him (and I have been, for years), you don't really know what's happened and what is still happening.

In this video, Dr. Campbell shares the interesting news that the FDA has just, in the words of Elmer Fudd, "vewwy, vewwy quietwy" issued a notice that it's perfectly okay for doctors to prescribe Ivermectin to treat Covid despite the fact that the FDA prevented that during the height of Covid while advancing the lie that Ivermectin was only horse medicine (the FDA still features a picture of a horse on their page about Ivermectin) rather than one of the most-used human medications on the planet (winning a Nobel Prize in 2015) with over 4.5 billion doses administered to humans.

Subtle, FDA. Very subtle.

For those who don't want to watch the 15-minute video, here's the quick version: Ivermectin was known to be cheap, available, and at least possibly effective for the treatment of Covid. BUT at about 10¢ a pill, nobody was going to make any money. Big Pharma wanted to push their untested (and unsafe and ineffective) vaccines, but they could only do so if they got an emergency waiver to bypass standard safety measures. And the only way to get an emergency waiver is to show that there's no other effective treatment available. So money changed hands - a lot of money - and suddenly Ivermectin was being officially described as only fit for horses and cows, potentially poisonous, and doctors were forbidden from prescribing it. Studies into the efficacy of Ivermectin went unfunded and independent studies showing beneficial effects were ridiculed by (formerly) respectable medical journals.

Big Pharma made billions of dollars (including profits on the "miracle" drug Remdesivir that doesn't actually reduce the mortality rate for Covid patients), insane numbers of people died, doctors who complained were persecuted, and everyone got jabbed with some damn thing that doesn't keep you from getting Covid or spreading it, but may give you myocarditis, blood clots, a stroke, or just kill you outright. Interesting trivia note: according to Dr. Campbell (who always carefully cites the official studies and reports) only 2% of negative vaccine reactions were officially reported. Wow. And long-term effects? Well, I guess we'll all find out, won't we?

So, who has been punished for the Covid-19 plague? No one. Who got fabulously wealthy from it? Big Pharma, political enablers, and (most likely) the people who funded the creation of the virus in the first place. And nobody seems to give a damn.

Meanwhile, the head of the Proud Boys is looking at 33 years in the slammer for his alleged role in the January 6th "insurrection that never happened" despite his not even being present on the big day.

The juxtaposition of these two examples of "justice" sadly tells me much more about the current state of our country than I ever wanted to know.