Ladybug, Ladybug, Fly Away Home

On Saturday, I had to make the call for in-home euthanasia of our dear old dog, Ladybug.  The sweet girl (about 14?) had bone cancer, failing kidneys, arthritis, and more. I wouldn't have let her be in pain and she wasn't. I walked her with a tote device (I joked that "this is my expensive new bag from Pucci") and maintained her med schedules more closely than my own. But her strength and interest in life were ebbing and on Saturday, I could see it in her eyes.

So we had a service come to our home rather than scare her one last time with a trip to the vet, and things went very smoothly. Bug wasn't scared or stressed and I was with her every step of the way. Of course, the pain I was feeling was off the charts (and truthfully still is). But it was the gentlest death anyone could hope for.

That being said, when Bug's heart stopped, the sweet young vet (Dr. Katie) said "she's crossed the rainbow bridge." And it was a kind thing to say, but it sure didn't FEEL like any rainbows had been involved. And afterwards, I made a dark cartoon which was posted here earlier but, at my daughter's request, has now been replaced.  

Most people here are aware (I think) that Johnny Optimism came into being when my mother died suddenly and circumstances wouldn't let me fly out for any kind of closure.  And so I started creating dozens of Johnny Optimism cartoons as a way to let out my pain...attempting to laugh, however bitterly, to keep from crying. And here, many years later, we still are. And the world still sucks too often and I still try to fight back with humor.

All of which is probably more than you need to know, so let me be perfectly honest: I could sure use a hug or two right now.

And in return, I'll try to make a more lighthearted post on StiltonsPlace.com either later this week or on Monday of next week. It will be funny, holiday-oriented, and introduce you to my exciting new role as a professional public Santa Claus. If I can't milk an anecdote or six out of that, I'm not the man I think myself to be.

Hug your dogs and spouses if you've got 'em, and your kids if they get jealous.   -Stilt

She was a Good Girl.

Rant Collector

Despite the Leftist rhetoric that Trump voters are murderous Nazi racists, Democratic strategist James "I oughta sue that Peter Jackson guy fo' usin' my face" Carville has recently made it very clear which side the hate is really on...and its disturbing lack of limits.

In a recent podcast, Carville shared his genuinely fascistic wet dream about what he'd like to see happen when Trump leaves office...

You know what we do with collaborators? I think these corporations — my fantasy dream is that this nightmare ends in 2029, and I think we ought to have radical things — I think they all ought to have their heads shaven, they should be put in orange pajamas, and they should be marched down Pennsylvania Avenue, and the public should be invited to spit on them. The universities, the corporations, the law firms, all of these collaborators should be shaved, pajamaed, and spit on.

And what then, Herr Carville? Concentration camps? Bulldozers digging mass graves? Ovens? It's hard to picture this vile bastard rejecting any of these avenues of retribution and revenge. And note that he's not just talking about members of the Trump administration - he's talking about private corporations, universities, law firms, and presumably voters like you and me. Although thanks to my bald pate, I could at least get the last laugh on the head-shaving guy.

This is a level of hate and threat that I genuinely find shocking, paired with a quiet sense of approval from those on the Left (where is their outcry?) that I find appalling. This is a dark time for our country, and not just because of...

DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME

I was amused, barely, to see that the switch to Daylight Saving Time coincided with the Day of the Dead this year. Presumably, dead tired - because no matter which direction the clock goes I will be reliably jet-lagged for the next two weeks.

If there's a rational reason for Daylight Saving Time other than the government having fun by making people miserable, I have yet to hear it. But since they have the power to arbitrarily inflict small tortures on us, I'd like to suggest that they're being lazy by not doing more of it. To wit, here are a few ideas that the DST mavens might like to consider:

• April 27 - All supermarkets are required to loosen at least one wheel on every shopping cart to make it unsteerable while also creating a wobba-wobba-wobba sound that makes the shopper look stupid.

• January 15 thru February 15 - To reduce costly heating expenses, this 30 day period will be officially recognized by the government as being part of Summer.

• June 4th - Restaurants are required to hide a piece of eggshell in your scrambled eggs or a needle-like bone in your fish filet.

• December 11th - Anyone on Medicare or Medicaid must report to a local clinic to get a paper cut and have it sanitized with lemon juice.

• October 24th - James Carville's Birthday. Nothing special happens, but it's still a bad day for anyone who isn't a piece of human garbage.

Show Me The Monarch!

Saturday’s "National Moron Day" event proved to be a huge, stupid success as Leftists semi-spontaneously flooded the streets of cities major and minor to declare that there should be “No Kings” in America. Or maybe they were simply celebrating the fact that there are no Kings in America - their professionally printed signs were a bit vague on that score.

Still, the nation’s streets were royaling (see what I did there) with mostly white folks with good incomes or generous government benefits who apparently didn’t get the memo that our country hasn’t had a King since the American Revolution. Although in fairness, schools are so busy teaching kids how to put condoms on bananas (and the surprising places that banana can go) that there simply isn’t enough time to cover every little historical detail.

The protesters came out in throngs, except in San Francisco (where they came out in thongs owing to a possible communications error), to make clear that they will be against Kings...if any should magically appear.

Meanwhile, little Leftist children staged their own adorable marches carrying “No Boogeyman” signs, just in case one might finally be found under a bed some day.

And For No Particular Reason...